MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

Violence Against Women And Role Of Media

By Kamala Sarup

Media had still not played effective roles in minimizing domestic violence against women even, media can play a lead role in the society’s fight against violence against women. As media is the eye, ear and limbs of the society they could help a great deal in mitigating violence against women.

The media’s role should be to expose and generate awareness against society’s ills and evils, therefore their role should be still more effective. The media has to be more aware of violence against women. Even, many women have said that the media coverage (of rape or other violence) was like a second assault all over again, because of their insensitivity in using pictures, publishing names, and other violations of privacy.

We have some questions. Will media play a pivotal role in stopping injustices to women? Will media sit together and discuss serious issues inhibiting woman’s ability to enjoy right to freedom and right to equality??
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An Auckland father at the centre of an international custody dispute has told his family he is hiding with his 5-month-old daughter because of an “unfair” court decision to award custody to her mother.

Police yesterday appealed for 39-year-old Stephen Paul Jelicich to contact them and hand over baby Caitlin, following a request by Interpol.

But Stephen Jelicich’s father, Paul, last night told the Herald that his son would give himself up in exchange for a new custody hearing.

Paul Jelicich said Stephen and his wife arrived home at the end of October for a family holiday in Kumeu, West Auckland.

The relationship, which he described as “volatile”, soured during the visit.

“She said [to Stephen], ‘I’m going to Wales and taking Caitlin with me and there’s not a thing you can do about it, and I don’t want you to come back’.” Mr Jelicich said his son took advice from police and lawyers and sought custody of his daughter.

The case went to the Family Court before Christmas but was adjourned until January 10.

Mrs Jelicich applied for an urgent hearing and it was granted on January 6, when the court declared the case should be heard in Britain, where Caitlin was born, and awarded the mother custody.

Stephen Jelicich claimed the custody hearing was rushed and “all he wants is his day in court”, said his father.

“Nothing was done right,” said his mother, Jan Jelicich.

“He was supposed to be given 48 hours’ notice [of a hearing] but because it was going to be Christmas Day he was given 24 hours.”

Mr Jelicich snr said his son was a “good father” but “the system let him down” and running was his only option.

Nearly $1 billion in child support is now owed by absentee parents as the number of broken families in New Zealand skyrockets.

A Ministry of Social Development study estimates one in two mothers will, at some stage, raise their children alone – a trend the Government says is reflected in the $873 million owed in child support.

The figure represents a 19 per cent increase on the amount owed 12 months ago.

Associate Revenue Minister David Cunliffe acknowledged the level of unpaid debt was unacceptable.

However, he blamed the 20% increase on more broken relationships resulting in more child support payments.

“As IRD (the Inland Revenue Department) deals with more people and greater amounts over time that debt is likely to increase,” he said.

National Party social welfare spokeswoman Katherine Rich said the Government should apply more “aggressive measures”, such as blocking parents who owed “reasonably-sized” child support debts from leaving the country through greater links between the Inland Revenue and Immigration departments.

Police are appealing to a father who has gone into hiding with his five month old baby, to give her up immediately.

Baby Caitlin Jelicich was due to fly to Wales with her mother on Monday. But her father, Stephen Jelicich, 39, failed to return her as agreed after the weekend. The transfer of Caitlin was due to take place at Henderson Police station.

Caitlin’s mother was returning to live in Wales and left on the flight with another child but without her baby daughter. She is now trying to return to New Zealand.

Anyone who knows where Caitlin is should provide that information to police.

Inspector Hope added: “Under the Guardianship Act, the court has issued a warrant to enforce custody with the safety of the child being the paramount concern, so anyone who knows where the child is should come forward with the details. “

Jann Blackstone-Ford and Sharyl Jupe are friends. They work for the same organization. They live just eight houses apart. Their children get along well together.

They’ve also been married to the same man. Ms. Blackstone-Ford’s husband of 15 years, Larry, was first married to Ms. Jupe and is the father of her son and daughter.

So how do these two women not only share custody of those children, but maintain a friendship? Some ex-spouses can hardly tolerate the other being in the same city, no less go to lunch or celebrate Christmas with the ex – and his/her new spouse.

In a word: children.

“Put the kids first,” says Ms. Blackstone-Ford from her house in California. “Get over yourself.”

The two coined a phrase to replace “stepfamilies,” a word they say often has a negative connotation. They decided on “bonus families,” because a bonus is a reward for a job well done. And, they say, “it’s hard work to be a good bonus parent.”

The two co-wrote a book, Ex-Etiquette for Parents: Good Behavior After a Divorce or Separation (Chicago Review Press; $14.95) to help others in blended families find peace with one another.

By Kamala Sarup

Media had still not played effective roles in minimizing domestic violence against women even, media can play a lead role in the society’s fight against violence against women. As media is the eye, ear and limbs of the society they could help a great deal in mitigating violence against women.

We have some questions. Will media play a pivotal role in stopping injustices to women? Will media sit together and discuss serious issues inhibiting woman’s ability to enjoy right to freedom and right to equality??

Media also have a duty to report accurately on acts of violence against women. Although some in the media are to be commended for their ongoing efforts to reflect sensitive, diverse, and egalitarian images, others in the media still incorporate images that convey destructive messages. Still women’s bodies are used as objects to sell products. Media should highlight injustices meted out to women by the male dominated society. Media’s growing role in highlighting violence against women and stressed the need for creating awareness among the victim women about their rights, so that they could protect themselves.

A Hamilton man who helped his runaway daughter elude authorities for a week may face charges, Cambridge police say.

Louise Irwin, a state ward, was listed as missing on December 30, after a row with Lynette Karam-Whalley, the Cambridge hairdresser who has been her foster-mother for the past two years.

After leaving Mrs Karam-Whalley’s salon, the 13-year-old hitch-hiked to Hamilton, where she was picked up by her birth father, Ronald Irwin, Sergeant Gordon Grantham said today.

Mr Irwin then allegedly hid his daughter from authorities for a week, telling police he had no idea where she was.

Today, Mr Irwin said that over the years 10 of his 11 children had been placed in CYF care because of alleged neglect.

“The real reason why I hide (sic) her was because I was trying to get hold of a counsellor,” he said.

New Statistics New Zealand research shows the number of long-term marriages ending in divorce has risen sharply in the past decade. In 2003, 940 marriages of 30-plus years ended in divorce – 60% more than the 570 in 1993.

Experts say the trend is probably driven by women with financial independence leaving their husbands after their children left home.

Roy McKenzie Centre for Family Studies director Jan Pryor said people now had higher expectations of their relationships. After the children left home, many couples decided they did not want to spend another 30 years in an unfulfilling relationship.

Pryor said marital break-ups could be just as distressing for adult sons and daughters as for youngsters, but in different ways.

Families Commission figures showed nearly half of Kiwi mothers would be solo parents at some stage before they turned 50, and one in five would live in a step-family.

These trends have alarmed many, who blame the demise of traditional family values for the nation’s woeful child abuse and domestic violence statistics.

Maxim Institute director Bruce Logan said research showed children were better off with a mother and father who were married.

But the country’s latest champion of the family, new Families Commission head Dr Rajen Prasad, denounced the “moral panic” and said families were very resilient to change.