Custody clash father tells why
An Auckland father at the centre of an international custody dispute has told his family he is hiding with his 5-month-old daughter because of an “unfair” court decision to award custody to her mother.
Police yesterday appealed for 39-year-old Stephen Paul Jelicich to contact them and hand over baby Caitlin, following a request by Interpol.
But Stephen Jelicich’s father, Paul, last night told the Herald that his son would give himself up in exchange for a new custody hearing.
Paul Jelicich said Stephen and his wife arrived home at the end of October for a family holiday in Kumeu, West Auckland.
The relationship, which he described as “volatile”, soured during the visit.
“She said [to Stephen], ‘I’m going to Wales and taking Caitlin with me and there’s not a thing you can do about it, and I don’t want you to come back’.” Mr Jelicich said his son took advice from police and lawyers and sought custody of his daughter.
The case went to the Family Court before Christmas but was adjourned until January 10.
Mrs Jelicich applied for an urgent hearing and it was granted on January 6, when the court declared the case should be heard in Britain, where Caitlin was born, and awarded the mother custody.
Stephen Jelicich claimed the custody hearing was rushed and “all he wants is his day in court”, said his father.
“Nothing was done right,” said his mother, Jan Jelicich.
“He was supposed to be given 48 hours’ notice [of a hearing] but because it was going to be Christmas Day he was given 24 hours.”
Mr Jelicich snr said his son was a “good father” but “the system let him down” and running was his only option.
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Hello LWT,
I’m glad you agree that great parenting skills includes being able to reasonably and sensitively relate to one’s partner/spouse. From seeing the mother has bashed the father and broken his eardrum, then apparently gone on primetime and lied saying he did it to himself, it would appear she lacks such ability. And the thought of that kind of woman taking a child to UK and effective fatherlessness fills me with dread.
I won’t deny that being with her family in UK is probably important to baby Jelicich’s mother. However, as I stated above the end result of such a move is that the child becomes effectively fatherless due to the enormous distance and expenses involved in maintaining physical contact between father and child.
On balance therefore I think it’s more important for the child to know thier father and mother than be shuttled off to the maternal and fatherless far flung distance. And one other thing – why hasn’t the mother been directed to attend anger mangement? I’ve personally counselled loads of men who got directed to such for much less than bursting someone’s eardrum! Alas, alack, such is miasndrist Old New Zealand.
I’ll go on record as saying that if such a mother is allowed to take a child away from the father to the other side of th planet it will send a chilling message to the menfolk of NZ about just how disposable they are to many in thier midst. And it won’t enhance the femily caught’s sorry reputation one jot.
Stephen Gee.
Tony F and Athena, Thanks foryou supportive comments.
just for the record athena, diane jelicich has 3 children other than caitlin and not 4 as u state! these other three children are hard working , sucsessful , wonderful kids , so di can,t be that much of a bad mum!!! also diane jelicich is a highly qualified cardiothoracic nurse who is a very competent and intelligent woman!
as one of the parties discussed in this forum,i am happy to answer any issues raised. To joanne who apparrently knows me,i would appreciate knowing in what capacity that is.Also as to the issue as to my being a good parent,i do have it on good authority that i am, ie letters from diane on file with the court stating what an excellent hands on dad i am. To those that dont recognise the systemic bias in the family court and supporting agencies i truly hope you never have to find out the hard way.
For those that have been on the sharp end of that bias,i certainly hope that i can assist in changing that culture.
regards to all steve jelicich (aka Caitlins dad)
Hi Steve,
Sorry to hear about your dealings with our all too familiar father bashing family ‘court’.
Some comfort may come from reading Phyliss Shafly’s op-ed piece found at at today’s mensnewsdaily.com page. For alongside the likes of Bob Geldoff and Prince Charles wieghing in to support dads it seems this is yet another sighn that the cultural tide is slowly turning in favour of fathers being given a fair go at hands on parenting. Although sadly I have to say not soon enough for the likes of many good fathers who’ll continue to get shafted until major changes take place.
You’ll have seen my postings above, including I suppose how I too took flight from an abusive spouse – with my son. So I can relate to some of what you’ve been through.
I take some comfort also in the belief that the strongest weapon we have in combatting such horrible systemic bias as you so rightly allude to is in telling our stories.
I recall a psychologist, a close friend of mine for several years once said I was too attached to my own story of being shafted by the family court. I dropped him from my Xmas card list as quick as… and almost told where to go in no uncertain terms.
No doubt you too will be finding out just who your real mates are. These experiences tend to sort out the chaff from teh straw in terms of friends and allies.
As a great mentor of mine Warren Farrel often says – “people don’t hear what men don’t say”. A reason I’ll keep expressing my experience of misandry and supporting other men to do likewise. So, all power to you in keep on telling your story mate. I encourage you to continue doing so, as it can only add to our culture’s growing awareness that something is terribly amiss with how fathers are being treated throughout the developed world as disposable.
Rest assured also that despite the likes of Joanne trying to silence me with a guilt trip about being anti – women, I’ll be continuing to say my piece too.
Joanne – You can harp on all you like about what a wonderful mum/nurse etc Dianne is. To me it doesn’t make a jot of difference. I reckon the bottom line is no matter how many kids she’s raised, if she’s beating the shit out of her partner (burst eardrum), then threatening to use the father-bashing family court to deprive a child of it’s father, and attempting to bugger off overseas with that child then to me she’s seems a callous, brutal, vindictive abuser, not someone fit to be called a good parent, nor for that matter a very competent and intelligent woman as you refer to her.
Stephen Gee.
Thanks for the support Stephen. Obviously there are a lot of going ons behind the scenes as to courts and the support agencies,who at this stage are running,but as this is of great interest to the public good i assure you i will not let them hide.
As to Joanne,i believe she says she knows me, but would at this point have me at the disavantage.Although i do welcome her comments and would be more than willing to address her points,in the interests of truth and integrity.
Im not sure if the moderator approves,but if anyone is interested i would suggest they visit http://www.parents4protest.co.uk, there is a link to me on that site.
regards to all steve
I’m closing comments on this item now. IMO parts of it got a bit uncivilised for my liking – if you want to carry on please do so after the next update.