Comments on: The system working as it should!

By: Al D Rado

Al D Rado — Fri, 18 Nov 2005 01:28:49 +0000

3 cheers for you.
I truly congratulate you.

I’ve just had a “I find no evidence of sexual abuse” finding - but still deemed fit for only ongoing supervised access.

By: alf

alf — Mon, 10 Oct 2005 03:28:15 +0000

good on ya m8 no matter how long it takes; its worth it.i would also try and get the moo cow to pay costs at least best luck Alf

By: Stephen

Stephen — Mon, 03 Oct 2005 11:14:38 +0000

Hi Bruce,

The old - if you punish the mother you punish the child at the same time logic appears to overlook IMO one mightily important thing. Letting mothers behave illegally and imorally with impunity sends a powerful wrong signal.
For whilst I believe you’re correct to say we should hold ourselves responsible for having chosen women who turn out to be abusive, by the same token I’m afraid accepting judges treating lying emotionally abusive women with kid gloves sets the tone for how women treat men in relationships in NZ.
I for one then, want women who lie in court to be punished - exactly as I’d expect to be if I stooped to such terrible behaviour. Anything less I fear sets NZ men up for further abusive oppression.

By: Bruce

Bruce — Mon, 03 Oct 2005 06:38:00 +0000

Stephen, you are quite right in calling my x a scum bag. However that is a very narrow description for the behaviour from a very sick woman. Whilst she has made my life a misery over the last three years she also supplies a high degree of security and love to my most precious possession, namely our child. I am no angel and admit that I have wished my X dead on more than one occasion but my love for our daughter exceeds my hate for her.

As for the Judge Hearing this case, I expected that she would look to the interests of the child as a paramount concern. That’s what she did; to have punished the mother would have certainly punished the child. Could she have done more to stop future false claims? Would I have received more of a hiding if the roles were reversed? The answer maybe yes but it doesn’t change the fact that the result I got was a big improvement on the past.

I always preach and expect personal responsibility from others so I have to acknowledge that I chose this woman as a partner and couldn’t or wouldn’t see the deficiencies in her personality. No judge can ever save us entirely from our bad decisions.

Bruce

By: Stephen

Stephen — Sat, 01 Oct 2005 04:04:16 +0000

I doubt that any judge who gives a lying scumbag X a mere verbal ticking off for wasting court time and taxpayer’s money to try to alienate a girl from her dad is going to award custody to the dad.
I’m afraid the judge seems so misandrist and stupidly chivalric it will only lead to more legal expenses and further disgraceful manipulation from the X.
Go ahead and prove me wrong, but for what it’s worth that’s how I see it.

By: John Brett

John Brett — Fri, 30 Sep 2005 20:39:09 +0000

Congratulations Bruce. I too went through a similar thing in the 90’s- I was advised by a lawyer to plead guilty, as conviction was automatic, and this would reduce the sentance.
In the event, my daughter (the alleged victim) destroyed the case when she was allowed to speak.
My advice now is:-
As your ex is clearly not a fit parent, you should immediately apply for custody, on the basis of your child(ren)’s best interests. With your ex as custodial parent, your children will be subject to parental alienation, and have to live with constant conflict, and probably have their father shut out of their lives, whereas with you as custodial parent, they will be able to have unrestricted access to both parents.
Go for it NOW (Wish I had) Regards John

By: David

David — Sat, 24 Sep 2005 21:55:05 +0000

good luck matey
i went through some of the same evil stupidity from 1992 to 1998 but kept my son and he is now embarking on his final high school year and great prospects for a professional career . his mother has given nearly zero care and encouragement over the years and i shudder to think what might have happened. needless to say IT WAS WORTH IT !!!!!!

By: Stephen

Stephen — Sat, 24 Sep 2005 11:27:06 +0000

Bruce,
Sorry to burst the bubble mate. I reckon the system didn’t work as it should -
as I’ll explain.

I commend the judge for seeing to it that you’re getting 50% contact with your daughter (and goodonya for fighting so hard)

However I’m appalled that your X only got a verbal ticking off from the judge. It is terrible that women can blatantly commit purjery in the court and suffer no criminal conviction!
Holy shit! As a bloke, if I did similar to your X, I’d expect to be prosecuted in no uncertain terms.
I’m afraid Misandry raises it’s ugly head yet again in the NZ femily caught.

By: Peter Burns

Peter Burns — Sat, 24 Sep 2005 08:38:13 +0000

Congratulations Bruce as your story of heartbreak gives me insipiration that my major depressive episode is finally going to a 3 day hearing end of November . I am desperate to cuddle my 12 & 10 year old daughters that were stolen from life in 2001 after false allegations of sexual abuse arose. Thank you for giving me the glimmer of hope that the truth can prevail in family court.Its fighters like you that make the mens movement worthwhile, and give Dads’ a good name . Take care mate and thank you as I reckon I might get to see the sun shine on me soon ?
Kind regards - Peter