Christchurch Press NZ
Feminist fighting machines arouse such curiosity.

Rosemary Mc Leod

Its’frustrating how in a world overflowing with idiotic information the details you really want to know about in life are invariably inaccessible.
What’s under Donald Trump’s rug, for example? Is he completely bald or is there a deep, hollow vacuum covered by skin? Will the young model who married him last week glue that shaggy reddish thing onto his pate daily, as part of her itemized wifely duties, and – scary thought – will she have to share the same bed as The Donald? Could the prenuptial contract be that rough on a comely Slovenian?
More historically, I’ve often wondered how Victorian lady explorers coped with- ahem- feminine facts of life when traversing the Sahara, say, on camels with multitudinous native bearers, all male, and whilst tightly corseted.what does a girl do, when there is no palm tree to skip decorously behind? Did they conceal toilet paper on their camels’humps?
And how did they cope without the neatly packaged feminine accoutrements so sensitively now days? No –one ever says.
How do women soldiers of the present cope with this unpleasant problem, for that matter, in a world of macho men?
Yes, yes feminists tell us it shouldn’t matter and it’s no disadvantage to have our anatomy, but try telling that to a woman with PMT.
If many women I’ve known are anything to go by, it involved weeping and depression and irrational hysterical outbursts.
If they have a drug for this in the trenches, the military should be spreading it around. If they don’t, who stops the girl soldiers from sobbing for reasons they can’t explain and picking impassioned arguments over the placement of condiments on mess –hall tables?
It is the practicalities, always that get to me. The clothing soldiers wear trousers are ideal if you are male, and can relieve yourself with quick unzip. But women are made differently- yes, yes, I know it doesn’t matter- and standing up to pee is an art few of us have needed to acquire.
What do they do out there in Iraq? Do they have women ‘s portaloos for the girl troops, and are they allowed days off for menstrual cramps or do they have to tough it out?
These worrying thoughts struck me with two television dramas I watched listlessly over the holidays, both of which starred good –looking women as mean fighting machines, feminist icons, if you will, of the new world order.
It’s modest now to cast women in butch roles, where they crotch- scratch and curse along with lads and are often in top jobs, bossing men about.
Maybe these two programmes are designed to relate obliquely to the war in Iraq, which involves women American soldiers in combat, just as the Gulf war did. They’re plainly intended to titillate, since the actresses are hardly snaggle-toothed hags, and thus my curiosity is especially justified.
The blond in Redcap-just ended I think – endured her hideous military uniform and no chance of true romantic lerv, so great was her longing to kill people.
The brunette in Ultimate Force goes braless and showers with the men, and is so equal that none of them are even momentarily embarrassed and forced to reach for the towel. But what if she runs out of the necessary products?
And must she use army issue?
I’m not the only person who frets about such little things. The Shee-Pee, proof that I’m not alone, will debut in Australia this Sunday at Melbourne’s Big Day Out.
Usually women have to queue for ages to get to the loo at such events, where there are huge crowds, largely because of the way we have to rearrange our clothing to relieve ourselves, but this will be the case no longer. Aussie women will stand up to pee there, a final triumph of equality, if the organizers have their way.
The P – Mate funnel the girls will use is disposable, leak –proof and made of paper. It’s designed to be used with skirts or pants and here’s the truly informative bit; there’ll be P- Mate hostess on hand to offer guidance when needed.
Who has volunteered for this delicate task of tutoring? Who trained them? What form did the training take? Most important of all, is there a career structure with the job? You see how it is. How I yearn to know all.