Comments on: You may be splitting up, but things don’t have to fall apart

By: lawyer-to-be

lawyer-to-be — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 02:47:52 +0000

I found this thread while researching for an assignment i am working on on collaborative law. Rest assured that at waikato university alternative dispute resolution (ADR), collaborative negotiation techniques and mediation are all compulsory parts of the syllabus for law students so maybe things will change for the better in future. It is sad to see so many people hating lawyers. As some of you point out, many are good and care deeply. I think it is always important to remember that it is not the lawyers who caused your relationship to go wrong, decided to refuse you access to your children, cheated on you or any of the other painful things you have experienced. A lawyers job is to go to bat for their client and their clients interests. If a mother is adamant she wants full custody, then whether the lawyer thinks it is fair or not, he/she must do as their client instructs provided it is within the law. Having just done a course in mediation and as i myself am going through a divorce right now with children involved, I think it is important to look at your own contribution to soured relations. My ex and I are not exactly on great terms and he has not paid me a cent towards child care since I asked him to leave one year ago (and I am a full time student so things are tough). Yet, I fully recognize the important role he plays in my childs life and he has her at least two nights every week and at least one full day every weekend. You may not like each other any more, but if you can at least attempt to be civil to each other and put the children before your own needs and wants, you may be surprised at how an apology and request to restart talks on a kinder more civilized note might change things.

By: Peter Burns

Peter Burns — Tue, 15 Mar 2005 02:08:23 +0000

I have had 25 lawyers involved in my case, all paid for by the NZ taxpayer! Legal Aid will not give me the full cost so I can tell citizens. I am on the invalids benefit,pay child support, and still I sit here suffering badly from depression due to parental alienation with no access arrangements organised. Crown Law has asked the Human Rights Review Tribunal for strike out and costs regarding case number 28! Ineffective Government legislation is creating more sad Children and Fathers, but the minimally equipped secular Government couldn’t give a hoot as they enjoy destroying families and like to play Daddy. Shame on them as they are all corrupt, and the silent media is guilty for not reporting a insidious crime against the Family ,particularly Children. Remember well, a society that neglects its Children is one generation away from destruction.dad4justice F4J,PADs,PAFs - ChCh.

By: JohnP

JohnP — Mon, 14 Mar 2005 20:07:06 +0000

I personally think that the fact that professionals are finally acknowledging that:

“The courts polarise attitudes quickly and force couples to accentuate their differences and it is the same for lawyers…”

is a positive step.

Not all lawyers deserve to be tarred with the same brush - I have spoken to several who avoid family court work altogether because they recognise that the current system is corrupt. When we were protesting outside the Auckland court a number of well-known barristers stopped to say “it’s about time fathers did this - keep it up”.

The removal of financial incentives, which encourage young debt-laden lawyers to add fuel to the fires of divorce in an effort to maximise their fees, can only be a good thing IMO.

By: Scrap_The_CSA

Scrap_The_CSA — Mon, 14 Mar 2005 08:33:06 +0000

Does anyone really think that retrained lawyers will change anything? These are the same lawyers who gave us what we have now!

By: Bryan

Bryan — Mon, 14 Mar 2005 03:54:35 +0000

When a society continues on a path that blatantly ignores the interests of children in favour of gender based politics it deserves what it receives down stream. I suggested to a govt. working party the approach this article speaks of way back in the early 90’s. Lawyers are simply citizens who have obtained skills in understanding law. Some of them you wouldn’t want your children to be left alone with. Others have good souls that it must be bloody hard to put up with the bullshit that goes on in our adversarial system. In our existing system Lawyers have the power (and some relish in it) to take advantage of the vulnerability of angry spouses and encourage them to go into litigation which is clearly against the best interests of their children. This must surely be seen as child abuse?? When people talk of NZ being a great place to bring up children you can be sure of one of two things.
1. They are female.
2. They are male and not yet had the misfortune to see their siblings lose contact with them for 80% of the time.

Once we led the world in the care and health of our children. What in the hell happened????