MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

I will give you a clue. J.B

What a cute baby Santa is holding.

My ex used the Family Court to “steal” my child from me. By writing a pack of lies in affodavits, the training came from a new partner, who had “used” the Court also to personel advantage.
I am now forced to do supervised access, as this is the only way to see my child, even though I filed a defence to the Court, I beleive the decision was made before I walked in the door ?
I have a big problem with how the Family Court operates, changes are urgent, before any more families are damaged and destroyed in this Country.
below is my list of issues
1. without notice applications that are not necessary.
2. The closed doors and secrecy.
3. The adversorial system that operates, “who lies the best wins”
4. State funded child theft.
5. No one “teaches” you the system until you fall on your face into it.
6.The way the service changed from my Lawyer once I changed from paying to legal Aid.
7. There was no thought for the effect on my child or other siblings in the family.
8. You need to be wealthy to have any chance of a “fair go”
9. The Court delivery people who smile at you when they deliver something that destroys you sanity.

I have now joined the Mens support group, who have been warm, welcoming, understanding and supportive.
It is shocking to meet so many people who all tell the same “horror story” who are also living the same nightmare. how can so many people have the same story to tell ?
for my next occupation, I will be at AUT studying Law, so that I can help other victims in a few years time.

THANK GOODNESS THAT SOMEONE IS TRYING TO CHANGE “THE SYSTEM”

Julian

Guys,
there are alternatives to ending up in the father stripping femily caught. That secret mothering society which specialises in creating male servitude as the expense of female privelege. But you want to be a depressed wageslave who doesn’t see your kid’s instead right?

Look fellas, you can avoid the whole stinking shithole NZ divorce industry in the first place.

Join the marriage strike as advocated by Matthew Weeks (You can google him easily for his very well reasoned article).

Cool your heels for a few years en masse fellas. Then watch NZ women desperate to breed ’suddenly’ come round to taking an interest in why you’re totally with good reason commitment phobic. Oh, they’ll howl and moan about it for a while, and there will be times your frustrated at the conflict you’re in with womenfolk. But that’s the price you pay as a man for taking charge of your life instead of being seduced into servitude.

Also stay tuned into news of the soon to arrive (and so far tested in three countries as safe) male birth control pill. It will be a mighty weapon for you against paternity fraud and the plethora of relationships built around women’s fertility.

In the process you can watch politicians wring thier hands about the falling birth rate, influx of imigrants to make up the shortfall and ageing society.
Tough shit. They made your life hell shit in the first place with thier feminista ‘courts’ and femily law.

You didn’t volunteer for a life of hell in the first place.

Another alternative is to save up your sheckels and leave NZ (for a while if not permanently). There are plenty of places with much fairer women and family law in Asia, South America, Oceania.

You don’t have to put up with NZs instititionalised misandry.

Bottom line is you don’t need to end up an alienated wageslave for some woman you had the hots for who oh-so-easily took advantage of you.

After all do you think women with all thier family law and relationship perks are doing anything to change your oppression and voluntarily disempower themselves from thier currently overpriveliged position?

Do you think male politicians who make thier daily bread from sucking up to the sisterhood are going to magically recant and suddenly start supporting justice for fathering kids? Don’t hold your breath there mate.

If you’re like me you’ve been telling NZ womenfolk and politicians for years about how unjust things are for NZ men, but did they lift a finger to change things. Yeah right!

Take action guys.

Your progene are worth it.

Stuff link: Tagging plan to keep track of child abuse
Just a follow up news item to my post a few months back (Plan to give kids ID numbers)

Stuff Link: More women than men having unprotected sex
Which means either women are being more promiscuous(> 1 woman having unprotected sex for every man having unprotected sex, or in other words, some men having unprotected sex with more than one woman partner), or some men are lying.

Maybe however (given a recent American ruling, that men fathering children through unprotected sex) men are being more cautious about the risk of pregnancy, whereas women see abortion, or at least the morning after pill, as a viable option should pregnancy occur.

Food for thought …

In the late 70’s I was living in London when the National Front (An extreme right wing political party right) marched through central London. As I photographed some of the marchers I observed that a lot of them were young and angry, however my lens captured an old lady that looked as sweet as they can be. After the march finished I approached her and introduced myself. She was very pleasant so I asked her why she was marching. She spent the next hour telling me a horrific story. Idi Amin, ex president and despot of Uganda had expelled thousands of Ugandan Asians and as most of these had British passports they arrived on British Shores. Massive social upheaval occurred particularly in London where most of them wanted to settle.

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Muriel Newman’s newsletter is worth reading this week: Nature Knows Best

Over time, human evolution gave rise to the two-parent married family, often described as the most successful child rearing institution ever invented. But by the middle of the 19th century, socialism had begun its march and in its sights, the destruction of the nuclear family: in 1948 Carl Marx called for the ‘abolition of the family’ in his Communist Manifesto and, aided and abetted by the feminist movement, what had taken more than a million years to evolve, has, in just over 150 years been largely undermined.

Each step in this erosion of the family has been incremental: the establishment of no-fault divorce made it easy to walk away from the commitment of marriage; the introduction of the domestic purposes benefit with its built-in financial incentives rewarded mothers who split up from their husbands; the practice of awarding sole custody of children to mothers made it easier to consider separation (I recall seeing research some years ago which showed that around 70 percent of marriage break-ups were instigated by mothers who were confident they would gain sole custody of their children); the enforcement of a punishing child support regime which fails to take into account the financial circumstances of both parents or to ensure the money is spent on the children, often handicaps subsequent families.

Even better, the NZ Centre for Political Debate guest Forum has an article by Stuart Birks: Disgruntled Dads and the Family Court

The Women’s Consultative Group of the New Zealand Law Society has stated, in a submission to the Law Commission, “At the heart of the current law on domestic violence in New Zealand, as embodied in the Domestic Violence Act 1995, lies a very simple concept: domestic violence is about the use of power by men to control their women partners”. This is based on the Duluth patriarchal power and control model, which has been so influential as to dominate policy over all alternative approaches. It has a major failing, however. Numerous large-scale studies have found that women are as likely to be violent as men, and in many cases when one partner is violent, the other is also.

We could ask more generally whether the people who are employed to address family law matters are properly trained, not just in terms of domestic violence, but in the whole range of issues surrounding family relationships, care of children, relationship property, child support, and so on. Proper training requires a theoretical and practical knowledge of several areas of psychology, sociology, social work and economics, in addition to law. We might consider brain surgeons to be very intelligent, but we might be reluctant to have one fix our car. Similarly, even an intelligent lawyer may be poorly suited to deliberating on family matters. At the same time, other specialists may also have limitations. There may be a big difference between the way a psychologist, say, might interact with and assess a client, and the perspective required to obtain suitable evidence for a court. In addition, while courts may be able to make decisions on specific, one off situations (such as a crime, or the interpretation of a contract), it is far more complicated to address issues such as parent-child relationships, which consist of numerous small events spread over years, and which change and evolve as people grow and other life-events occur.

Stuff link: Born again - new life after lawn birth

You’ll recall that a few days ago a young woman gave birth in a Dunedin hostel grounds, and abandoned her baby. And here we have another very nearly similar case, where the young mother kept the baby’s birth from nearly everyone, including the baby’s father, whom she admits she became pregnant as a result of a ‘fling’. At least this case had a positive ending, with her eventually informing the baby’s father, and the two of them (re)forming a relationship that has resulted in a further child.

But the question must still be asked: how can a mother justify carrying a child and giving birth without involving the father? He is as equally responsible for the offspring, and the child has a full and unequivical right to two parents. The closing point of this mother’s testimony is:

“If I was to go back and do it all again, I wouldn’t have told anybody still but I would have got more help. I would have gone somewhere to have the baby instead of doing it myself. ”
“For other people, if they don’t want to tell anyone, that’s fine … but get help.”

This is just so sad - for the child’s sake.

Stuff Link: Women fail to report rapes

OK, so maybe, just maybe, the true rate of rape in this country really is ten times higher that reported. Any maybe, just maybe, 80% or rape complaints are false. Surely the only way to test this and establish the truth is to test each and every rape complaint in a court of law? Women do themselves a disservice by failing to report their rape. The only way this country will ever bring down this massive figure is by ensuring the aleeged perpetrators are brought to justice. And by disproving any allegation that 80% of complaints are false, again, surely these should be tested in a court of law.

That women blame the system for themselves not reporting their own rapes, is an excuse. I never reported my own sexual abuse. I chose not to. These women choose not to report their rape. One thing femi-nazi woman taught me is to take responsibility for myself - and to never blame others for my actions, or lack there-of.
But, on the other hand, if presumed rates of rape are based on surveys that include any kind definition along the lines of “I had sex with my partner even though I didn’t feel like it” then - my God! - I’ve been raped multiple times!

Women - stand up and be counted. If you believe you have been raped, report it. Do it now (“the obvious aim of which is to precipitate an immediate investigation of the relevant circumstances whilst the evidentiary trail is fresh” , to quote S. 246(5), Report of the Board of Inquiry, Anglican Diocese of Adelaide (24 May 2004))
You are far more likely to believed if you report it the same day - or the next, rather than 18 years down the track! 10,000 rape complaints as opposed to 1,000 will tell a story - even if you feel you are speaking to unsympathetic policewoman.

Am I supporting The Sisterhood, in wanting to see Rape complaints sky-rocket, further expanding the ever growing Sisterhood Economy? Maybe. If 9 times more rapes have been committed, than are reported, then yes. The perpetrators must be held to account. But I rather suspect that we won’t see any particulalry dramatic rise in complaints, charges and/or convictions, and that the number of cases deemed to be false complaints (generally meaning without substance) will sky-rocket.

NZ Herald link:Louise Nichols supporter faces charges

So it seems at least one of Louise Nichols’ supporters might face charges for breaching the court order. Shame he’s male, and there’s no hint at least yet, of any of the women breaching the support order being charged. Here’s hoping we’ll see equality.