MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

I really wish we could all stop swapping spits about the minor details when the bigger picture needs so much energy.

But there’s another issue which kind’ve interests me. I see on the board tonight there have been 810 visitors to this site, yet the comments are coming from about four folk. Does that mean you four have each visited the site 202.25 times each, or are there a whole bunch of visitors who, for one reason or another are looking but not commenting.

Question: why visit and not comment?
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Thanks to the community groups being shown on the right hand side of this screen, we have so much more information.

Here is something interesting to look at thanks to ‘NZ Father & Child Society’ webiste. And ‘www.scoop.co.nz’

family-court-statistics-2004

Families Commission has also done some research into One child, Two homes. by Paul Callister and Stuart Birk

Gee, Stuart Birk does a few statistics and research.

stats and research can be found here www.stats.govt.nz

People, causing the current internecene arguments for and against the DPB was not the point of my mailing ‘Says It All’.

The whole point was to bring attention to three seperate but vitally connected issues.

Issue 1. DPB offers a solution to the often morally moribund who simmply cannot be bothered getting out of bed to earn their daily bread.

Issue 2. The only way (mostly female recipients) can get it is to gain custody of the children involved.

Issue 3. The prospector of DPB (mostly female) are able to tell almost any lie and have such accepted by the Family Court to then gain DPB.

I believe, for better or worse, that in many cases the fleeing woman would be quite happy if the departing male was allowed complete and free access to the kids and to help manage them. But unless the prospector can demosntrate ’she’ ‘must’ be the main guardian of the kids, not 50/50, then she won’t get DPB.

And so, in order to get DPB ’she’ must demonstatrate that ’she’ is the only fitting guardian. And to do that she ‘must’ throw the father under the bus.

There is a fourth point…and is probably the most iniquitous in Jane’s dialogue.

That was the advice she received from her lawyer that she must ‘not’ make a federal case out of her claims because, in doing so such would go to the District Court (at the very least) and in that environment, real proof is required. Whereas, as she says, in the Family Court, anything goes.

Further, Jane’s income of a grand a week was made up of sundry benefits, I gather totalling about $450 pw, plus accommodation benefit of $200, plus all of her little sidelines plus the income she got from her new live-in.

But this seemlessly immoral woman made the point which I find the most insufferable. She said she didn’t realy care about the kids, she just wanted her life-style and that the kids were just a part of the building blocks for that life-style.

And so we come full circle to my mail from The Shower. We have to find a way to make the Family Court require real evidence, not hearsay, opinion, feelings, crap, etc.

I ask you. How could legislators water down common principles of law (Innocent till PROVEN guilty) in the Family Court, then stand in the light of day and assert the new rules are fair and just?

The answer is, they cannot.

Surely, it is this issue, not the afore mentioned internecene arguments about DBP which MUST be our focus.

All I ask is that the FC be required to require proof positive before acepting any allegation. Simple as that.

And lastly, I say again. There are some genuine cases of serious need for DPB. I don’t have a problem with being a part of the funding for them (as a tax-payer). My problem is, I want the recipients to ‘prove’ beyond reasonable doubt that they are so entitled. And surely, if the partner is a genuine bad-arse, proof must be readily available.

Cheers
David.

This meeting is being postponed. I don’t know how to say this but I am finding that women in high positions and men are aware of the problems men are having. And I am also finding that they agree that men have to be part of the solution. And that they are aware men have feelings, etc and that men are different today from men that used to treat women as second to them.
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Here’s a link to news from several countries where men are protesting for fathers rights -

mensnewsdaily: the struggle continues

Go Wayne Pruden!!

Without any permission whatsoever, I am going to cut and paste Wayne’s recent commentary on his walk and post it here. Because it should be widely read. Wayne posted this under Wayne’s walk to Wellington tonight.

My apologies Wayne if I’ve stepped on your toes ..

Hi all,
I am now at Wayne Furguson’s house in Sanson. I have tears welling in my eyes as your read your comments.
I cannot beleive the support I have recieved. I have been given fruit, water, beds for the night, sums of money, and even a large bible.
My 44 year old engine is running sweetly. My chassis and body work is also fine, but my running gear needs an overhaul. Basically, my feet are killing me. The first 3-4 ks in the morning and the last 5 or so ks at the end of the day are excruciating. Uphill walking is great becuase I can put some weight on the pushchair, but the downhill sections are very painful. It’s a good thing I am alone; my groans of pain remain private.
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Hi, Rory MacKinnon here from In Unison, Unitec’s student magazine. Our next issue is themed “the Men’s Issue” where we will, not suprisingly, address men’s issues.

At present I’m working on an article about the cultural phenomenon of The Slap- specifically when a woman slaps a man: whether there is any justification for it, how a man responds psychologically etc.

If you or anyone you know have anything interesting to contribute, please do so below as soon as possible - our deadline is 9am Wednesday of next week.

The following is a letter the ‘apparent’ writer could have written.

Jane laid this out for me just last week when I met her at a scuba diving course and over numerous intervening coffees. Remember, when you read this, she was at a scuba-diving course.

The word ‘brazen’ is just too mild a word to describe the transparency with which she related her story. The substance is correct to her words. The format is mine.

I cannot remember feeling so angry when I heard this diatribe.

Dear New Zealand,

My name is Jane. I’m now 34 years old.

I left school in 1995 with modest marks in NCEA. I couldn’t get a job after I left school so I went on the dole for a couple of years. Then I couldn’t get a job I wanted to do so I stayed on the dole for a couple more years.

So the dole, trading a few drugs, and screwing a few older guys for the stuff they bought me and the money they gave, got me money enough to party on and have a good time.

Then at 22 I met Jeff. He was full of life, had a fab job, seemed to be all energy and plans. He was soooo positive about everything, and he fell in love with me. I liked him a lot but I didn’t love him.
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Monday July 17, 2006
By Sophie Goodchild and Jonathan Owen

Teenage girls who get pregnant deliberately plan to become mothers in the belief that a baby will improve the quality of their lives, a study has found.

The research reveals that girls as young as 13 are making a “career choice” by deciding to have children, since they see parenting as preferable to working in a dead-end job.

The findings from the Trust for the Study of Adolescence challenges the assumption that schoolgirl mothers are all irresponsible adolescents who are ignorant about using contraception.
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The Sunday’ item “the F Word” that screened last week on the men’s protests outside lawyers homes is on the tvnz.co.nz site and can be viewed @

the f word

you may have to press ‘flash player’ good luck.