MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

In the NZ Herald on Saturday:

No refuge for battered male victims
By Simon Collins

The Separated Fathers Support Trust ran the four-bedroom refuge, officially a men’s “retreat house”, in Manurewa from December 2002 until May, when the manager, Warren Heap, became paralysed with the rare nerve disorder Guillain-Barre Syndrome.

Heap says the refuge was always full, and for a while had a caravan as well. In all, 51 men and 71 of their children stayed in the house for up to three months. Some of the men were escaping physical abuse, in a way comparable to women’s refuges. One had knife wounds “all up his arms”, inflicted by a partner who was a drug addict. “There were quite a few that were knifed,” Heap says.

I’m sorry to hear that Warren has been laid low by ill-health, and I’m sad that the “retreat house” has had to close. I first met Warren in January 98 when a group of volunteers from Men’s Centre North Shore went to help move furniture into his first men’s refuge in Glen Eden

Since then he has battled, in the face of what would seem to most people insurmountable obstacles, to provide a service a for men which we all know is desperately needed.

My guess is that being the man he is, Warren will find some less stressful and time-consuming role to play in the men’s movement. Hopefully he will get to spend a whole lot more time just enjoying being Dad with his own children!

I wish you all the best, mate!

1) Licensing Parents, John Hudson.
Should parents be required to pass a warrant of fitness to see if they are up to the job of raising their child ? That’s what some experts are saying should happen in New Zealand. It’s a radical idea as a way of reducing child abuse and preventing kids from growing up to commit serious crime.

Please watch Parent video that Sunday has provided of the documentary online.

It is in the middle columne when you get to Sunday’s page. (Click Parent video)

The extremely frightening thing about an idea to decide from a child’s birth which parents are suitable to raise their children is that who are the one’s deciding??
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Why do little girls whine?

~ They’re practicing to be women studies professors!

by Peter White of the Western Leader.

Josh isn’t the only kid with heaps of sporting potential but limited cash reserves. The Western Leader has profiled dozens of youngsters over the past year whose families spend their weekends scrapping together every spare dollar they can. It’s not uncommon to find proud mums and dads manning suasage sizzles and selling raffle tickets in a bid to get their youngsters of to various career-launching tournaments all over the world.

What else can they do?

There is no obvious place to apply for financial assistance and the various funding agencies all have different criteria as to who can apply.

Perhaps it is time for all parties to come up with a solution so our talented sportspeople have a clearly defined process to follow. It is a real shame to see them struggling to get the help they desperately need to persue their goals. Encouraging our young people’s sporting ambitions is surely a far better alternative to having them wandering aimlessly around the streets.

What do you think? Contact edwl@snl.co.nz if you have a view on the sporting issue.

My view is that we need a MALE’S COMMISSION so that our boys can get as much assistance as our girls. If Josh was a girl this would be highly promoted even research would be paid out at around $120 per hour to show how wonderful our girl’s are succeeding in sporting achievements around the world and even more money would be spend to promote even more girl’s.

[My contact details]

9 November 2006

Dr Rajen Prasad
Chief Families Commissioner

rajen.prasad@nzfamilies.org.nz

cc. Peter Dunne, MP
peter.dunne@parliament.govt.nz

Dear Dr Prasad

Firstly, please note that I have copied this letter to Mr Peter Dunne, MP, for his information, given his instrumental role in setting up your Commission.

I am writing to express my deepest regret at some material I found on your website today.

You have a substantial amount of information about domestic violence, in particular, white ribbon day. In a media release on your website, you stated that “A survey published 1995 showed that two thirds of New Zealand men have never physically abused their partners. Each of these men could take a small step toward changing New Zealand’s attitudes to violence if they chose to speak up when they heard an acquaintance express inappropriate views on violence and the control of women and children.”

I wish to challenge you to prove this, because quite frankly I do not believe the results of this survey.

Are we really expected to believe one-third of New Zealand men HAVE physically abused their partners, as this is what this survey states? Did you undertake this research yourself, or is this what somebody with a vested interest told you?

I am particularly concerned that you totally ignore women’s violence against men, which is just as prevalent as men’s violence against women.

For many years I have counselled many men who were victims of domestic violence at the hands of women. Few of them dared report their suffering to the authorities. If they were lucky they would be laughed at. If they were unlucky, they would be arrested for the crimes of their batterers.

I have met many men who feared their violent partners, but were more afraid of people finding out they were scared of a woman. The shame of being a battered man is often worse than the actual battering.

Studies undertaken by independent bodies (as opposed to groups with vested interests like the refuge industry) are overwhelmingly consistent in the conclusion that women can be just as violent as men. The Dunedin Longitudinal Study is but one example of highly regarded research that proves women are just as violent as men.

We often hear the red herring of physical size, but the reality is that most men would never hit a woman; it is not the done thing for a man. Conversely, it is not rare for a small woman to physically attack a larger man, pull his hair, scratch his face, bite him and kick his genitals, knowing that he will never fight back. On the rare instance that a man does defend himself, he is invariably the one arrested.

By supporting white ribbon day, you are helping to suppress the grim reality of violence against men. Male victims of domestic violence do not have a national network of refuges. They do not have state-funded support agencies. Their plight is not the subject of massive advertising campaigns. They are left to suffer in silence.

The very least they deserve is recognition.

I therefore respectfully call upon you to make your continued support of white ribbon day conditional on recognition of the reality of domestic violence against both women and men.

By challenging the one-sided view of domestic violence with which we are presented, you can make the one step that is needed to really do something about domestic violence. What a wonderful legacy that would be to leave our country.

Violence is violence, regardless of the sex of the perpetrator, and it is not helpful for groups with vested interests to promote irrational fear and hysterical hatred of half of the population.

Until it is recognised that domestic violence is a two way street, and that women are just as capable of violence as men are, this blight on our society will never be removed.

Yours sincerely

Darryl Ward

The Centre for Gambling Studies (CGS) is part of the University of Auckland’s Section of Social and Community Health and is committed to providing independent and quality research and learning, to minimise harm from gambling and to promote gambling related wellbeing within communities.
(click for bigger version)

This research has been commissioned by the Ministry of Health to investigate the effectiveness of intervention services for problem gambling in New Zealand. The purpose of this research project is to provide a better understanding of the range of treatment approaches utilised in New Zealand and whom they are effective for.

The research is to be conducted over two phases:

Phase One: Qualitative Study

Phase One of the research sought to identify the range of services provided and the theoretical models used by problem gambling intervention services in New Zealand through qualitative interviews. It was also to understand what practitioners, service users and families considered as helpful and less helpful in terms of reducing harms caused by problem gambling.

Phase Two: Clinical Trial (This is what the current request is about)

The second phase aims to recruit 200 people who reside in Auckland, Hawkes Bay, Nelson and Christchurch and have concerns about their playing of pokie machines to investigate the effectiveness of two intervention modalities: face-to-face counselling and interventions over the phone.
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Author: Timocrat
From: The Honor Network

After 6 months of serious and heavy work, added on to the participants already busy schedules, the men & fathers who took part in the first think tank run over the Internet could be rightly considered tired. On top of it being the first one run over the Internet it seems to have been the first men & fathers rights think tank period.

The next major discussion is set 2008 with the men who participated in the first think tank not eligible for the next full discussion. It is hoped that others will come to the table as equal partners from new organizations, and of course, have new input and perspectives.

With at least one man from the UK, the US, Canada, New Zealand & Australia having taken part in this years T3, and none coming from one same organization, a good cross section seems to at least have been attempted to encourage more organizations and countries to take part from the very inception of this attempt at any kind of cooperating arrangement. Attempts have been made to Irish citizens and someone has already come forth for a serious 2008 seat at the table. With this cross references system, which included both religious & non-religious, moderate & radical, and progressive & conservative men taking part, it was believed that issues that separate men could be started to be bridged.

Much has been agreed to and voted on in the final work (of which over 90% was unanimous) and is open to the public, but there is of course much more to do in acting upon these ideas. Strategy, tactics, creative steps and calls of support for moves aren’t open to the public at large for obvious reasons of success.

Some ideas that need not be hidden from view, for they are underway and operating, are the Priority News Exchange Program (PNEP) where major men’s & father’s rights forums pass news items more freely between themselves (where the Honor Network has acted as the facilitator in transferring stories between the participating forums, with their encouragement).

This has now been added to by a secondary complimentary program called the Promotion & Distribution in Exchange for Coverage Plan (PDECP). This secondary plan will add coverage by regions/countries and specialty to the forums and the HN site for the immediate promoting of the men & fathers rights blogger’s sites, and possibly future links with other sites when agreements are reached in the future for closer cooperation between participating organizations.

In 2008 the Grand Consensus will be built to a second level and the calls for action gauged and measured to see how effective they have been, and then very likely reformed or abandon depending on what has materialized in real terms of success.

All the discussions can be read by all visiting the Honor Network site, with the already stated exception of strategy, tactics and the creation & calls of support initiatives proposed by the participants.

To see this please click: http://www.honornetwork.com/page/page/3756403.htm

After reading this I would advise anyone to finish with the Grand Consensus. For here one can see a glimpse of the ground that will bring those who prize real honest unity

(though total unity in beyond all our grasps) that can only be accomplished by time, serious hard work, a thick skin, constructiveness and a equal place at the table for all taking part (under whatever banner they have for this cause of our time).

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Dear Readers,

Last Thuursday, I arrived home to two pieces of correspondence from IRD Child Support and a telephone message from Bridget instructing me to call her.

IRD correspondence will be under a seperate post if they dont finally get their act together!!

I contacted the number for Bridget given 839-0666 which is the number for the Family Violence unit at Waitakere.
Bridget was unavailable as she does the 7am -3pm shift.
I contacted her on the Friday morning at 7.00am prior to my leaving for work.
She informed me that her call was about my website Aka Pauls Reply to Crap thrown at him
I immediately responded to her that I am not in the same boat as Mike Patterson, circumstances are different and I welcome any type of prosecution by the “Woodentops”, (I admit this is a disparaging type of description of our peace keepers but as ex-Senior Superindent “Uncle” Kenneth George Catton MBE. DSM. describes them as such, who am I to challenge? )

Bridget was informed that the items posted by others in the International Press resulted in initiating my website.

She deemed to approve the attacks upon me as being OK, as they were not personal, but any response was subject to breach of Protection Order utilising psychological abuse.

I then informed her that the website was beyond her grasp of interpretation and comprehension with regard to the multiple situations in respect of my case and as the website had been referred by me personally to Mark Burton, Minister of Justice: Ivan Kwok, senior legal counsel to the MOJ: Peter Boshier Principal Family Court Judge, being the top of the pack, with many other Judges (family and criminal) and officials of the Judiciary being also directed to its content advised her to start looking at violence towards men for which her reply was that there had only been three cases reported.

I asked who was the complainant about my website? Reply Anita Larsson.
Date of complaint? Unsure, but it transpired to be before our groundbreaking Mutual Consent at Manukau.
I asked Bridget why did you not arrest Anita upon her presentation, for Child Abduction?
I asked the same question of Bridget for Domestic Violence and Perjury etc….

I again reiterated my right to provide any personal information publicly that had affected me and that I found to be of relevance unless subject to specific suppression.
Any inaccurracies are covered by true legislation, defamation and libel to which I believe Bridget concurred.

I also referred her back to her position of a member of the Family Violence Unit whereby she has a duty to protect all members of family violence including Males, was she aware of the proposal that Jim Bagnall and I put forward to the West Auckland Police via Brian Louden as an initiative to safeguard men and their families in a domestic situation?
Was she aware of the response by her Area Commander Mark O’Connor in response to the suggestion? Jim and I were threatened with imprisonment for trying to provide Mens Refuge akin to the State funded Womens Refuge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I currently have a 41 page submission advocating full disclosure of all aspects of the Catton v Catton / Larsson debacle presided by the Family Court.

Anita and I, with an attendance by our partners and Shaun reached a mutual agreement on all aspects of previous disagreement, over a dinner cooked by me without the scent of a lawyer, (rather ironic).

Wait for it, will Jim O’Donovan to grant the Publication?

I still hold a great deal of animosity, but this animosity is still and has always been directed at where it always lay,the source, which is the System and its beneficiaries.
You are still answerable and I still have questions.

Getting back to Bridget, she has been given the opportunity to have constructive dialogue and reasonable advocated inititaves imparted within the community that she administers, Is she going to take it up? Or perhaps continue with a police sledgehammer to try and crack nuts (that are actually are rocks (perhaps even diamonds))?

Kindest regards to all

Paul

Here’s a video on Women’s violence, fatherlessness and institutional misandry.

Warning - it shows real graphic footage and may be disturbing to view.

Dateline: Quebec, Canada
From: Montreal Gazette
Author: Peggy Currain
Via: Kurt Anderson at F4J (US) & The Honor Network

Andy Srougi isn’t afraid to make people angry. Last year, he climbed to the top of the Jacques Cartier Bridge during rush hour to draw attention to fathers’ rights.

Yesterday, in Montreal outside a hotel where an international conference on violence against women was being held, he called on “Nazi” feminist groups to give back the millions of dollars they get to run shelters. He claims they are empty most of the time.

“We know that there is violence against women around the world. The problem is that in Quebec the problem is bigger against men than it is against women, and they don’t want to believe it,” said Srougi, 39, who is locked in a bitter custody battle to regain his 4-year-old daughter and 7-year-old son.

A member of Fathers 4 Justice, Srougi challenged statistics from women’s groups claiming 34 per cent of women in Quebec have been sexually abused.

“If that were true, it would mean that there were about 1.5 million women who are sexually abused and there would be 1.5 million sexual predators on the street. It’s impossible. It means that we would have a police car at every corner.”

Instead, he said, “these lies are being perpetrated to get the $620 million that the government gives the feminist movement. They aren’t interested in the well-being of women. They are interested in manipulating things so they get more money.

“All we are asking for is to take a real look at the figures. Don’t believe us? Go to the Quebec statistics institute and look at the real figures that show that Quebec has one of the lowest rates of violence against women.

”Why lie to everybody? All you are doing is taking away from the real victims, the women who are victims of violence.

“I was a victim of my ex, who was violent against me. Because I am 6-foot-1 and 200 pounds, I didn’t feel a thing. But psychologically, it still had an impact on me. Now, I’m not going to go out there and tell everybody that there are millions of fathers who are beaten up, because it will discredit everybody who has really been beaten.