Daughter driven to death by bullies, says mother
A 12-year-old girl was driven to her death six weeks ago by text bullies at her school, her mother says.
I wonder what sex the bullies were. Female?
Is violence simply a man’s problem?
I think not.
Also, it’s amazing how quickly Helen Clarke’s clonettes jump into action.
A seperate article reports
The Government has commissioned an urgent report into text-message bullying after the death of a 12-year-old Putaruru girl.
I wonder if action would have been so immediate, if it had been a boy that died?
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That would have been female bullies. I can’t help but wonder why the mother didn’t take the phone off her.
New Zealand has to learn that males receiving abuse is just as serious.
Confirmed that the bullies were girls.
Refer http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/story.cfm?c_id=1&ObjectID=10372218
Note firstly, the excuses.
Secondly, the blame:
Thirdly, parental seperation some years earlier.
An interesting question would be – where was her father relegated to in her life?
Did he have shared parenting? Reasonable unrestricted Contact?
And lastly, is there any correlation between fatherlessness and pre-teenage dating & relationships.
If absent, did her father’s absence contribute to an environment where she basically went looking for love else where?
That’s a really good question about this case; Where was her father? Newspaper reports say nothing about him. Perhaps the media should investigate.
I’m reading an interesting book at the moment: Fatherneed (2000) by Kyle Pruett. Quote from page 158;
“The statistics are sobering: Fatherless kids are more prone to depression than kids with a father; are twice as likely to be school dropouts, do less well and are more violent when in school, abuse more drugs, are more criminally active, try (and succeed at) suicide more often, and are at high risk for becoming teenage parents themselves.”
This is based on reliable research crried out at universities in the US.
I wonder if it will turn out that this tragedy can (in part) be traced back to our heartless system that all too frequently drives a wedge between kids and their fathers.
I think, as usual, they will attempt to put the blame a Male. In this case I guess they will go for the Father. He probably had no idea what was going on in his daughters life due to a protection order forbidding him to go near her.
I don’t agree that reaction to the suicide would have been less had it been a boy. First time I have looked at this site and it seems extremely sexist. Incidentally, 2 nights ago a 12 year old boy from the same school did commit suicide and I understand the media frenzy has already started so I guess the school will take the blame. A 2 parent family I might add.
Further to my last comment it now seems possible that this boy has accidentally killed himself while playing a game – I withdraw my previous remarks and will wait for the official cause of death to be advised. My apologies.
Every child’s death is a tragedy, S Rogers, regardless of the cause.
However the simply reality is that girl’s suicides do grab more headline space, than boys suicides.
Take for example, the news in February
Suicide rate in young women increases
The suicide rate in young women has increased and some are using more traditionally masculine methods of committing suicide. New statistics show 141 females died of suicide in 2003, compared to 113 in 2002. The male rate of suicide is higher with 374 males dying by suicide in…
Notice the headline.
Notice the actual rate compared with that of boys.
This is not akin to the attention that an Auckland girl received a number of years ago when she was mauled by a pitbull. A subsequent bill was colloqially named after her – ‘Caroline’s Bill’. Again, boys who get mauled are no where near as cute, and rate little mention in the paper.
It is a sexist world out there. From what I have observed, most men have been extreme recipients of that sexism.
i go to Putaruru high, bullying is some think that should be stoped, i had a kife held to my neck cuz i dont act like other guys, but evin if Alex ternd her phone off the txt’s would of still been there when she ternd it on, and alex still would of got the e-mails, Putaruru high is a school that no one should be going to, teachers are sexist and are B**ch’s to students and they drink in the school grounds!! people will bully people cuz they feel like it…. BULLYS ARE STUPID AND LAME! they should be delt with properly insteed of makeing the innocent ones leve, no one out side of putaruru relly knows what gose on in the school..
(soz if that was to much bi**hing in there…soz about the spelling to =C..)
i was formerly a student at putaruru college, and i agree that boys have recieved less media attention. I know for a fact that a suicide was committed by a male, who was an extremely good friend of mine, only the month before. However, I do not blame his suicide on the school- it had nothing to do with that. Putaruru College is a good school, I think there are some children out there that dont actually realise how good of a school it is, you know teenagers- they always think the world is against them, but statistics show that there are actually more male suicides then females, yet females have a higher rate of attempts at suicide, i guess males are alot more hardcore and know how to get the job done!
very blunt and incosiderate although my last comment was there is simply no other way to put it.
and may Renata, Alex and Brolly RIP
Putaruru College was a great school. It wasnt the students. Its definitely the teachers. Alex spoke to many teachers about what was going on in her life and all they did about it was tell Alex she can pick her own class. Like that would keep them away from her at break time. Im not saying then teachers basically gave Alex the rope but they didnt help to prevent it either. Alex was a beautiful and bright young lady and was always smily no matter what was going on. R.I.P Alex we will never forget your beautiful smile x x x… musicsheilah
oii ! its none of yoOr business about alex’s father ! she’s dead and its not hers or her anyone elses fault ! except for the ones who txt bullied her! they are a big part of that school and no-one did anything about it. i think they should be punished !
Thanks musicsheilah. But we would be very interested to know whether this girl’s relationship with her father was damaged by the mother and/or our anti-male system. You see, there’s a very good chance, from what we know through the research, that if she had a supportive relationship with her father and had felt able to discuss her problems with him, that she would not have harmed herself. The welfare of our children and youth is everybody’s concern.
Personally, i think text bully these days are really effecting people hugely these days, you guys cant exactly expect the youths to front up and tell cos the bullys take this as ‘narking’ i would know i attend an all girls school and bullying happeneds quite frequently and alot of shit stirring. Sometimes there are reasons for the bullying but offen its to make the bullies feel good. Parents can maybe do wee checkups and somehow talk to their children. I havent exactly been bullied at all in my lifetime because i am quite headstrong, but most of my friends get bullied alot and it really sucks seeing them suffer.
Thanks.
And i’m sorry for that 12year old girls loss to all those who know her.
alex wasn riven away from her father, her parents roke up… its life. i knew her personally and no-one coul’ve expected this to happen! she was such a happy go lucky chick !
the people that bullied her are to blame. i obviously cant mention names but i still think they are murderers!
i do think that alex’s dad couldve atleast stepped in an alex coulve staye with him until she could change schools but no-one hought like that. now we all have to live with the fact that one of our maes are dead =[
i ratha not say hu i am. But ppl go on abwt put college as f its a bad kura wen n fact its not. We have had many high achievements thur. Yes we av had sad moments but we hav had many hapi 1′s. Alexs death was paraded arwnd da media lyk f she was da 1st persn hu comitd suicide at ow kura. She was da second 1 bt da 1st 1 had nufn 2 du wif ow kura n da 3rd had sumfin 2 du wif hs family. Da media came 2 ow kura wen alex had died n tryd 2 ntaview students bt wen john died dey didnt hang arwnd lyk dey did wif alex. I was close friends wif renata n alex n i knew of john. Dey seemd lyk very hapi n cheerful ppl n its very sad 2 not av dem arwnd. RIP 2 Renata, Alex and John we all mis u’s as u were gr8 mates 2 b arwnd. (soz 4 da spelln)