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MENZ ISSUES

MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

Sat 25th November 2006

Families no better off 20 years on

Filed under: General — Julie @ 10:36 am

By Simon Collins

NZHerald

“A massive shift of women into paid work over the past 20 years has left the average New Zealand family no better off.

A research project led by Prime Minister Helen Clark’s husband, Auckland University sociologist Peter Davis, has found that the median family income, after adjusting for inflation and family size, was just over $37,000 a year in 1981 – and was still just over $37,000 in 2001.”

Families on middle and low incomes have ended up merely holding their own, while high-income families are better off.

A sociologist in the team, Gerard Cotterell, said other measures also showed that real wages had been static or falling over the past 20 years.

Benefit levels were cut in the late 1980s and particularly in 1991 and had never recovered in real terms.

“It’s kind of stunning,” he said.

“Income inequality has increased in Western countries.

“What’s scary in New Zealand is that it hasn’t got better under Labour. There are more people in employment, but it’s low-paid employment.”

Then the article explains how the stats are founded with this line at the end…

so that it is not affected by social changes such as the trend towards more sole-parent families.

But dear me, taxpayers have 3 generations of sole parents to look after till death yet. LOL.

Taxing Men or Child Support?

Filed under: General — Intrepid @ 1:14 am

Dateline: USA
From: Central Ohio.com
Author: Kent Mallet
Via: The Honor Network

NEWARK — A proposal from the Licking County Prosecutor’s Office might put an end to an Upper Arlington man making child support payments to his ex-wife — even though she died in April, and he has custody of their three children.

Joe Randolph, 44, has been instructed by Licking County Child Support Enforcement Agency officials that he must continue the payments until a court tells him he can stop. Thus, he has been paying more than $1,300 per month to nobody in particular.

Fri 24th November 2006

United Future does care for fathers

Filed under: General — Julie @ 7:50 am

This is just a couple of e-mails between us.

Dear Gordon,

I am very concerned about the way this country is going. I beg of you sincerely to take some time to step back and be still to see that we are headed in a downward spiral.

Our femenists have gone overboard and this has created powerless men.
In turn this is creating out of control youth and our young children are being taught from primary school that girls are more important than boys.

As much as I love some of these PHD’s personally, they have become out of touch with reality in some ways and if we continue trying social experiments we will end up with a Hitler Youth race as we are heading in the same way.

Julie

……..

Dear Julie,

Many thanks indeed for your thoughtful email.

One of the primary motivations which prompted my decision to stand for Parliament was my deep concern about the way in which New Zealand family life has deteriorated during my lifetime, but more particularly, during the last 25 years. That is why building strong families through pre-marriage and other relationship counselling courses during marriage or cohabitation combined with strong parenting programmes, at all stages of a child’s development, are a core United
Future policy.

With that in mind I attach hereto a copy of our party’s principles in relation to New Zealand families.

Keep up the great work you are doing Julie. It is vitally important to our nation’s future.

With all good wishes,

Gordon Copeland MP
…………………………

Dear Gordon,

I know that you are busy and that I not making it much easier as I
threatened to take things to the streets, and put you e-mail on the
www.menz site. I am doing neither at the moment and want you to know
that I do not exploit others for my own gain.

Something has to be done about the way this country is going and I am
going to try to do my part. I have only recently starting getting
involved in the bigger picture and I am very dissappointed in what I
see.

We will go to the streets at some stage in the near future for a
peaceful demonstration.

Thanx for your time.
Julie
Auckland Single Parents Trust
…………………………………..

Dear Julie,

Thanks for your further email. Please feel free to put my email on your
website if you think that would help the cause.

With all good wishes,

Gordon Copeland

Thu 23rd November 2006

Santa Parade

Filed under: General — Julie @ 8:54 pm

Farmer’s Santa Parade is on Sunday 26th November. Rain date Sunday 3rd December 2006

An area has been set-aside to the side of the Queens Head Tavern, opposite the Town Hall in Queen Street, for you to watch the parade from. Please bring your own blankets and cushions, as there will be no seating.

You will be able to park in the Civic Car Park up to 12.00 pm. Please use the Grey’s Avenue entrance to the Car Park, and present the enclosed parking passes. (for free)

Please ask the adults and children in your care to wear the enclosed stickers.

Security staff will ensure that the general public do not enter your area.
Radio Lollipop representatives will be looking after you for the day. Snacks and entertainment will be provided prior to the start of the parade at 2.00 pm. You will be able to use the toilets at 370 Queen Street (Methodist Mission Northern building).

We look forward to seeing you on Sunday 26 November and hope you enjoy the parade.

Auckland Children’s Christmas Parade trust.

For free tickets to parking and stickers to area please contact so we can send them to you ASAP.
julie@singleparents.org.nz

This is a really fun time for the young children. This is far more better than just watching a parade. Aucklanders go way out for you and your children so have some fun with it. This is for YOU.

Wed 22nd November 2006

Turner urges “full story” on domestic violence

Filed under: General — UF @ 4:01 pm

I think the only MP advocating that we actually look closely at what the research is telling us about family violence.

?

Link? to? Scoop article can be found? here

Mon 20th November 2006

Anti Femenism in New Zealand

Filed under: General — Julie @ 4:30 pm

Femenism is New Zealand has gone too far. Yes, Yes, Yes.

I have to share my day with you all. I am starting to get some important support from women. Infact, I did that little stamping of the feet in happiness, 1,2,3,4 saying, “You said, YET!”

I got the ‘not yet’ but what it is really saying is that I need to do more work and me means you also. And that means the NZ Herald as we got the other day. If you are wondering why we got the NZ Herald the other day then maybe it might be because Menz was searched alot recently because of a scare “Medics anxious over Menz B doco documentory done by 20/20.” And JohnP is doing his best to keep us numbert 1 for google.

I have even noticed the faces on the media trying to ‘not be biased.’

But I learn’t alot today. Part of me wants to thank-you all for putting up with me because I know I have not been easy to convince (especially my favorite Stephen who is not too old and ugly) and the other part wants to tell you others that Helen Clarke will never read your letters. If she is not the most femenist female in NZ then she is one of the biggest. Always has been. But most of you knew that. Damn.

I cannot confirm her being a lesbian though. That is still gossip.

But these women that ‘burnt their bras’ mean’t well. Unfortunately as Stephen always said, they will have boys whether directly or as Grandparents. The next generation has to balance what they did to their extreme.

There is a real life gap between these women and the women today. Some of these women have given their lives to a wonderful cause of freeing women from violence and made the femenist movement in the best of intentions and I as a female will not forget what they have done. But we have gone too far. It is straightforward. You men are paying for our freedom.

So, this is where we as males and females work together. It does come down to your gifts, my gifts, your weaknesses and my weaknesses. We have to compliment each other.

We have much more support than you know. Let’s not give up. Please keep posting and writing your letters. Not only are the charity groups a good idea to talk to but please consider that more than 60% of the people living in NZ are not born in NZ. They have no idea of femenism.

Hose assaulter discharged without conviction

Filed under: Law & Courts — JohnPotter @ 3:31 pm

Sunday Star-Times: Protest left my family in fear: lawyer’s wife

A lawyer’s wife who faced assault charges after spraying a group of fathers’ rights protesters with a hose says the protest left her in shock, fear and disbelief.

In Auckland District Court last week, [the wife] pleaded guilty to common assault and was discharged without conviction.

In a speech addressing the and released to the Sunday Star-Times she says:

“You treated me and my children as if we were ‘nothing’, ‘dirt’. You treated my husband as if he was to blame for all of your problems and the situation that you put yourselves into. You all left me hugging my sons, and they me, in shock, fear, tears and disbelief. You all have no idea how much pain and ruin the above mentioned had impacted on our lives.”

She goes on to say: “Nevertheless I forgive you all.”

lawyer's wife hosing protesters Lawyer’s wife hosing protestors (photographer unknown)

Personally, I think this is a reasonable outcome. Mrs France and her children are not indirectly responsible for Ross France’s behaviour after all, and the unfortunate use of a Nazi banner on the street outside their home was fairly provocative!

It is a shame that there needs to be some kind of violence or disturbance involved before the media will pay attention to fathers’ issues.

Wed 15th November 2006

Families Commission ideologically driven

Filed under: Domestic Violence,General — JohnPotter @ 6:00 pm

I’ve decided to forgive Simon Collins for his Preventing Violence in the Home promotion after reading his well researched Monday NZ Herald article: Domestic violence campaigners accused of bias

Two top health researchers have accused the Families Commission of “ideologically driven” bias in presenting domestic violence as a problem of men battering women.

Professor David Fergusson and Associate Professor Richie Poulton said their respective long-term studies of people born in Christchurch and Dunedin in the 1970s showed that most domestic violence was mutual.

“In a high proportion of these couples, we are seeing mutual fighting. It’s brawling,” said Professor Fergusson.
(more…)

Dear John, It’s Your Fault (Not John P.)

Filed under: General — Intrepid @ 5:22 pm

Dateline: Alberta, Canada
From: The Honor Network
Author: Rob Fedders

October 23, 2006

New Provincial Law in Alberta Allows Police to Seize Automobiles of Men Soliciting Prostitutes

ALBERTA — A new law came into effect in Alberta today which snuck in through the Traffic and Safety Act. It gives police the power to seize the automobiles of men who solicit street prostitutes. The province of Saskatchewan has previously passed similar legislation against men in 1999, as well as Manitoba in 2002.

Brian Nowlan, of the Edmonton Police, believes that threatening men with the permanent loss of their vehicle will be effective and issued the following statement: “Johns are going to run the risk of losing their vehicle, not just having it seized and impounded temporarily.”

The law was passed as a private members bill almost three years ago and Cabinet gave it its final approval earlier this month after examining if the law would violate Canada’s Charter of Rights and Freedoms. While politicians, community groups and prostitution activists all support the new law, Stephen Jenuph, of the Alberta Civil Liberties Association is on record stating: “It’s a matter that tends to be a random application of the law depending not on a fair hearing, but on the feelings of a particular officer on a particular day.” Jenuph also stated, “I don’t think that in a free and democratic society, decisions regarding punishment should be left up to the police.”

(more…)

Higher earning wives get the bash

Filed under: Domestic Violence,General — JohnPotter @ 3:05 pm

Also by Simon Collins in Saturday’s NZ Herald, another story titled ‘Changing places‘ set my mental propoganda alarm ringing by a beginning with three atrocity stories about violent men:

These three stories from the Herald in the past year have a common theme. In all cases, desperate men turned to violent or controlling behaviour at least partly because they had lost the prime breadwinning role that gives a purpose to most men’s lives.

More than a third of New Zealand couples are now coping with the same phenomenon. In the 2001 census, the woman was in the same or a higher income band than the man in 37 per cent of all couples aged 15 to 64 who stated their incomes – up from 20 per cent in 1986.

Dr Paul Callister, of Victoria University’s Institute of Policy Studies, points to other signs that men’s traditional economic domination is crumbling. Women’s average hourly wages have gradually crept up from 79.5 per cent of the male average in 1986 to 84.1 per cent in 2001 to 85.5 per cent in this year.

Now personally, I have never felt the need to bash Felicity because she earns more than me, but I have no doubt that earning ability is a significant factor contributing to the balance of power in any relationship.
(more…)

Only men’s refuge in the country closed

Filed under: Domestic Violence,General — JohnPotter @ 1:32 pm

In the NZ Herald on Saturday:

No refuge for battered male victims
By Simon Collins

The Separated Fathers Support Trust ran the four-bedroom refuge, officially a men’s “retreat house”, in Manurewa from December 2002 until May, when the manager, Warren Heap, became paralysed with the rare nerve disorder Guillain-Barre Syndrome.

Heap says the refuge was always full, and for a while had a caravan as well. In all, 51 men and 71 of their children stayed in the house for up to three months. Some of the men were escaping physical abuse, in a way comparable to women’s refuges. One had knife wounds “all up his arms”, inflicted by a partner who was a drug addict. “There were quite a few that were knifed,” Heap says.

I’m sorry to hear that Warren has been laid low by ill-health, and I’m sad that the “retreat house” has had to close. I first met Warren in January 98 when a group of volunteers from Men’s Centre North Shore went to help move furniture into his first men’s refuge in Glen Eden

Since then he has battled, in the face of what would seem to most people insurmountable obstacles, to provide a service a for men which we all know is desperately needed.

My guess is that being the man he is, Warren will find some less stressful and time-consuming role to play in the men’s movement. Hopefully he will get to spend a whole lot more time just enjoying being Dad with his own children!

I wish you all the best, mate!

Raising children in New Zealand

Filed under: General — Julie @ 9:41 am

1) Licensing Parents, John Hudson.
Should parents be required to pass a warrant of fitness to see if they are up to the job of raising their child ? That’s what some experts are saying should happen in New Zealand. It’s a radical idea as a way of reducing child abuse and preventing kids from growing up to commit serious crime.

Please watch Parent video that Sunday has provided of the documentary online.

It is in the middle columne when you get to Sunday’s page. (Click Parent video)

The extremely frightening thing about an idea to decide from a child’s birth which parents are suitable to raise their children is that who are the one’s deciding??
(more…)

Fri 10th November 2006

Funding Confusion

Filed under: General — Julie @ 9:25 am

by Peter White of the Western Leader.

Josh isn’t the only kid with heaps of sporting potential but limited cash reserves. The Western Leader has profiled dozens of youngsters over the past year whose families spend their weekends scrapping together every spare dollar they can. It’s not uncommon to find proud mums and dads manning suasage sizzles and selling raffle tickets in a bid to get their youngsters of to various career-launching tournaments all over the world.

What else can they do?

There is no obvious place to apply for financial assistance and the various funding agencies all have different criteria as to who can apply.

Perhaps it is time for all parties to come up with a solution so our talented sportspeople have a clearly defined process to follow. It is a real shame to see them struggling to get the help they desperately need to persue their goals. Encouraging our young people’s sporting ambitions is surely a far better alternative to having them wandering aimlessly around the streets.

What do you think? Contact edwl@snl.co.nz if you have a view on the sporting issue.

My view is that we need a MALE’S COMMISSION so that our boys can get as much assistance as our girls. If Josh was a girl this would be highly promoted even research would be paid out at around $120 per hour to show how wonderful our girl’s are succeeding in sporting achievements around the world and even more money would be spend to promote even more girl’s.

Thu 9th November 2006

Stopping domestic violence once and for all

Filed under: General — Darryl Ward @ 10:18 pm

[My contact details]

9 November 2006

Dr Rajen Prasad
Chief Families Commissioner

rajen.prasad@nzfamilies.org.nz

cc. Peter Dunne, MP
peter.dunne@parliament.govt.nz

Dear Dr Prasad

Firstly, please note that I have copied this letter to Mr Peter Dunne, MP, for his information, given his instrumental role in setting up your Commission.

I am writing to express my deepest regret at some material I found on your website today.

You have a substantial amount of information about domestic violence, in particular, white ribbon day. In a media release on your website, you stated that “A survey published 1995 showed that two thirds of New Zealand men have never physically abused their partners. Each of these men could take a small step toward changing New Zealand’s attitudes to violence if they chose to speak up when they heard an acquaintance express inappropriate views on violence and the control of women and children.”

I wish to challenge you to prove this, because quite frankly I do not believe the results of this survey.

Are we really expected to believe one-third of New Zealand men HAVE physically abused their partners, as this is what this survey states? Did you undertake this research yourself, or is this what somebody with a vested interest told you?

I am particularly concerned that you totally ignore women’s violence against men, which is just as prevalent as men’s violence against women.

For many years I have counselled many men who were victims of domestic violence at the hands of women. Few of them dared report their suffering to the authorities. If they were lucky they would be laughed at. If they were unlucky, they would be arrested for the crimes of their batterers.

I have met many men who feared their violent partners, but were more afraid of people finding out they were scared of a woman. The shame of being a battered man is often worse than the actual battering.

Studies undertaken by independent bodies (as opposed to groups with vested interests like the refuge industry) are overwhelmingly consistent in the conclusion that women can be just as violent as men. The Dunedin Longitudinal Study is but one example of highly regarded research that proves women are just as violent as men.

We often hear the red herring of physical size, but the reality is that most men would never hit a woman; it is not the done thing for a man. Conversely, it is not rare for a small woman to physically attack a larger man, pull his hair, scratch his face, bite him and kick his genitals, knowing that he will never fight back. On the rare instance that a man does defend himself, he is invariably the one arrested.

By supporting white ribbon day, you are helping to suppress the grim reality of violence against men. Male victims of domestic violence do not have a national network of refuges. They do not have state-funded support agencies. Their plight is not the subject of massive advertising campaigns. They are left to suffer in silence.

The very least they deserve is recognition.

I therefore respectfully call upon you to make your continued support of white ribbon day conditional on recognition of the reality of domestic violence against both women and men.

By challenging the one-sided view of domestic violence with which we are presented, you can make the one step that is needed to really do something about domestic violence. What a wonderful legacy that would be to leave our country.

Violence is violence, regardless of the sex of the perpetrator, and it is not helpful for groups with vested interests to promote irrational fear and hysterical hatred of half of the population.

Until it is recognised that domestic violence is a two way street, and that women are just as capable of violence as men are, this blight on our society will never be removed.

Yours sincerely

Darryl Ward

Tue 7th November 2006

Effectiveness of Problem Gambling Interventions

Filed under: Men's Health — JohnPotter @ 9:56 am

The Centre for Gambling Studies (CGS) is part of the University of Auckland’s Section of Social and Community Health and is committed to providing independent and quality research and learning, to minimise harm from gambling and to promote gambling related wellbeing within communities.
Are You Winning? Gambling Study (click for bigger version)

This research has been commissioned by the Ministry of Health to investigate the effectiveness of intervention services for problem gambling in New Zealand. The purpose of this research project is to provide a better understanding of the range of treatment approaches utilised in New Zealand and whom they are effective for.

The research is to be conducted over two phases:

Phase One: Qualitative Study

Phase One of the research sought to identify the range of services provided and the theoretical models used by problem gambling intervention services in New Zealand through qualitative interviews. It was also to understand what practitioners, service users and families considered as helpful and less helpful in terms of reducing harms caused by problem gambling.

Phase Two: Clinical Trial (This is what the current request is about)

The second phase aims to recruit 200 people who reside in Auckland, Hawkes Bay, Nelson and Christchurch and have concerns about their playing of pokie machines to investigate the effectiveness of two intervention modalities: face-to-face counselling and interventions over the phone.
(more…)

Mon 6th November 2006

Round Up of 2006 Men’s & Fathers’ Think Tank

Filed under: General — Intrepid @ 12:37 am

Author: Timocrat
From: The Honor Network

After 6 months of serious and heavy work, added on to the participants already busy schedules, the men & fathers who took part in the first think tank run over the Internet could be rightly considered tired. On top of it being the first one run over the Internet it seems to have been the first men & fathers rights think tank period.

The next major discussion is set 2008 with the men who participated in the first think tank not eligible for the next full discussion. It is hoped that others will come to the table as equal partners from new organizations, and of course, have new input and perspectives.

With at least one man from the UK, the US, Canada, New Zealand & Australia having taken part in this years T3, and none coming from one same organization, a good cross section seems to at least have been attempted to encourage more organizations and countries to take part from the very inception of this attempt at any kind of cooperating arrangement. Attempts have been made to Irish citizens and someone has already come forth for a serious 2008 seat at the table. With this cross references system, which included both religious & non-religious, moderate & radical, and progressive & conservative men taking part, it was believed that issues that separate men could be started to be bridged.

Much has been agreed to and voted on in the final work (of which over 90% was unanimous) and is open to the public, but there is of course much more to do in acting upon these ideas. Strategy, tactics, creative steps and calls of support for moves aren’t open to the public at large for obvious reasons of success.

Some ideas that need not be hidden from view, for they are underway and operating, are the Priority News Exchange Program (PNEP) where major men’s & father’s rights forums pass news items more freely between themselves (where the Honor Network has acted as the facilitator in transferring stories between the participating forums, with their encouragement).

This has now been added to by a secondary complimentary program called the Promotion & Distribution in Exchange for Coverage Plan (PDECP). This secondary plan will add coverage by regions/countries and specialty to the forums and the HN site for the immediate promoting of the men & fathers rights blogger’s sites, and possibly future links with other sites when agreements are reached in the future for closer cooperation between participating organizations.

In 2008 the Grand Consensus will be built to a second level and the calls for action gauged and measured to see how effective they have been, and then very likely reformed or abandon depending on what has materialized in real terms of success.

All the discussions can be read by all visiting the Honor Network site, with the already stated exception of strategy, tactics and the creation & calls of support initiatives proposed by the participants.

To see this please click: http://www.honornetwork.com/page/page/3756403.htm

After reading this I would advise anyone to finish with the Grand Consensus. For here one can see a glimpse of the ground that will bring those who prize real honest unity

(though total unity in beyond all our grasps) that can only be accomplished by time, serious hard work, a thick skin, constructiveness and a equal place at the table for all taking part (under whatever banner they have for this cause of our time).

(more…)

Fri 3rd November 2006

Protest Outside Feminist Conference

Filed under: General — Intrepid @ 1:59 pm

Dateline: Quebec, Canada
From: Montreal Gazette
Author: Peggy Currain
Via: Kurt Anderson at F4J (US) & The Honor Network

Andy Srougi isn’t afraid to make people angry. Last year, he climbed to the top of the Jacques Cartier Bridge during rush hour to draw attention to fathers’ rights.

Yesterday, in Montreal outside a hotel where an international conference on violence against women was being held, he called on “Nazi” feminist groups to give back the millions of dollars they get to run shelters. He claims they are empty most of the time.

“We know that there is violence against women around the world. The problem is that in Quebec the problem is bigger against men than it is against women, and they don’t want to believe it,” said Srougi, 39, who is locked in a bitter custody battle to regain his 4-year-old daughter and 7-year-old son.

A member of Fathers 4 Justice, Srougi challenged statistics from women’s groups claiming 34 per cent of women in Quebec have been sexually abused.

“If that were true, it would mean that there were about 1.5 million women who are sexually abused and there would be 1.5 million sexual predators on the street. It’s impossible. It means that we would have a police car at every corner.”

Instead, he said, “these lies are being perpetrated to get the $620 million that the government gives the feminist movement. They aren’t interested in the well-being of women. They are interested in manipulating things so they get more money.

“All we are asking for is to take a real look at the figures. Don’t believe us? Go to the Quebec statistics institute and look at the real figures that show that Quebec has one of the lowest rates of violence against women.

”Why lie to everybody? All you are doing is taking away from the real victims, the women who are victims of violence.

“I was a victim of my ex, who was violent against me. Because I am 6-foot-1 and 200 pounds, I didn’t feel a thing. But psychologically, it still had an impact on me. Now, I’m not going to go out there and tell everybody that there are millions of fathers who are beaten up, because it will discredit everybody who has really been beaten.

Thu 2nd November 2006

Movember – promoting men’s health

Filed under: Men's Health — JohnPotter @ 10:03 pm

Movember – Changing the face of Men’s Health

Movember (the month formally known as November) is a charity event held during November each year.

At the start of Movember guys register with a clean shaven face. The Movember participants known as Mo Bros then have the remainder of the month to grow and groom their moustache and along the way raise as much money and awareness about male health issues as possible.

Movember is proudly partnering with the Prostate Cancer Foundation of New Zealand.

Violence in Intermediate Schools around New Zealand

Filed under: General — Julie @ 9:30 pm

If Intermediate boys hit each other they do not generally get seperated as an unspoken rule but left to fight it out. After this they get sent to the office and talked to from the principal about what they did and they keep both of them in the office until someone owns up (boys unspoken loyalty to being boys) and then the boy responsible or both get detention.

If girls hit each other they get separated by the teachers who struggle sometimes as the girls are fighting as hard as the boys. After this they get sent to the office and talked to from the principal and one or both get detention. Their loyalty is not on a parr with the boys yet it is increasingly changing to such so generally they are easier to crack and are not kept in the office until someone owns up.

BUT…

If a boy hits a girl he gets sent to the office and suspended for a week.

If a girl hits a boy nothing happens. Unless it is major assault????

Does this seem right to you???? Does this not seem sexist??? Does this not seem as if we are telling our boys that they have to be tougher while we tell them they are monsters for being tough? And then don’t forget we will lock them up for using this toughness over the age of 17.

This is from our kids. One of the girls tells me that this is the way it has to be because boys have more muscles than girls. So I asked, “What if the girls tease the boys?” She says, as she shruggs her shoulders that, “The boys just have to take it because they have to.”

So I challenge them as they need, “Is it the boys fault he was born with harder muscles than girls?” Oh, …. now we are having a great converstation. See how easy it is to manipulate our young girls.

Naughty, naughty society.

“Deadbeat Moms” also Out Number Men in the US!

Filed under: General — Intrepid @ 1:43 am

Dateline: US
From: Glenn Sacks
Comment: Intrepid
Via: The Honor Network

If you can remember back a few months ago there was a fact that came out of the UK on separated mothers without kids being slightly less likely to pay support than their badly badmouthed counterparts or fathers. Some new stats that I’ve just become aware from Glenn Sacks in the US show the same picture there, but even stronger.

“This isn’t surprising–as I’ve mentioned in the past, according to US Census data, noncustodial mothers are 20% more likely to default on their child support obligations than noncustodial fathers. This is despite the fact that noncustodial mothers are less likely to be required to pay child support, and those with support obligations are asked to pay a lower percentage of their income in child support than noncustodial fathers. Partly because of this, custodial fathers are three and a half times as likely to work long work weeks as custodial mothers.”

The fact that no one seems to care about these stats, and instead we hear endless wailing on (with extreme prejudice) about “Bad Dads” in articles followed by nasty legislation in New Zealand, Australia, Canada, Ireland, the US, the UK, Europe and all over the world is insane, unless you see this as nothing more than emotional rationalizations in the extreme!

What measure of logical allows this to go on, unless it has nothing to do with logic, but instead emotions and tax revenue. We have men in our ranks fumbling to find nice ways to not scare women in their feeble attempt to say I’m not like these “bad guys”, to a sex that has a worse record. What are the records of “Dead Beat Mothers” in countries like New Zealand, Australia and Canada? Do they match these government numbers in the US & UK? Are these countries trying to hide these stats or intentionally distorting them knowingly?

Will we hear in the future, “Well let’s not point fingers and move on” right away after these factors come to light, as government practice more damage control? It is time to see these things for what they are (that being), dishonorable political foxes at play who will continue to play this game until better men & women find some way to cooperate.

The information needs to get out and be shouted at feminists and their political front men and forced to answer for why “Dead Beat Mothers” seems to never pass their lips. How long will moderate men continue to say, “Now…now…don’t get angry”?

Tue 31st October 2006

Excuse Me !

Filed under: General — Downunder @ 12:22 am

What is this……

A number of key directional matters were endorsed unanimously, including the formation of Women’s Council led by women with authority to influence the Federation on matters affecting the well being of women in their relationships, homes, community and workplace.

Sun 29th October 2006

An unfortunate set of circumstances

Filed under: General — PGRoy @ 10:03 pm

I just read an article on young men in our mental health services, written by a young mans mum.
Brilliant, best article in ages!
It rang bells for me of countless tales I hear in a supporting role for men of all ages. There has for so long been a movement to turn our men in to the villians of our societies ills. The system isn’t even covert about it, its all over our news, yet there is little focus on the good things men do. There are continual references in the press relating to inequality and gender imbalance, yet for the life of me I am not sure where this actually exists, because I don’t know any men who still subscribe to the veiws that are upheld by whoever reports this stuff.

I read a quote that kids these days suffer a case of “too much mother and not enough father”, I have read many times of underfathering and a lack of male role models. I wonder how much this manifests itself in the behavior of young men and women. I have a belief that our young people would benefit from some good male energy.

I don’t uphold myself as perfect and as an example to anyone. However if one person gets value from talking through their problem with me thats good. In the majority of cases they have no idea how to relate to an older man. Therefore against the grain I have remained open to anyone who wants to discuss their problens ith me, regardless of age or gender. Now I am not a sounding board or a sage, I’m quite happy to point out where they behave badly as gently as I can. I ask them what they need to do with thier problem so they can feel better. Sometimes they do actually do what they need to! By them selves! Most people once they are heard have their own answer inside them!

Sometimes I think our society is too focused on career, sucsess, money, qualification, safety. This puts a lot of stress on young people, where does happiness feature in this?

On the subjectt of sport as an outlet? I think the term competition has been twisted in to winning. It should be about the game not the result. And sport aint for everyone. Sometimes too I wonder if a safe way to vent anger and exercise growing strength would help our young people. I wonder if young people need a safe forum to explore their own minds, to try other ways to get the rush they now get from law breaking, drinking, drugs, or driving fast, fighting.

I certainly think in terms of relationships interpersonal skills, dispute resolutions, negotiation, and understanding need to be taught to both genders. Possibly there needs to be a greater understanding of men by women, and of women by men. After all we live with mistrust and fear of each other…..we’re screwed.

Mental health and our Teenage boys

Filed under: General — Julie @ 5:14 pm

Be aware; be very aware when you send your boys to Mental Health. I cannot stress enough that if you find yourself working with Mental Health insist on a male Psychiatrist or Psychologist for your boys. And be present for their interviews.

Do not let what I am going through be your story.

I approached Mental Health for my son as just like many parents especially single parents I was concerned for his behaviour and state of mind.

On one interview, my son stated that, “Girls dress up so young it is hard to know which of them is old enough to like and that sometimes he sees them in short skirts, heels, low tops and so on from behind, thinks sexually, then sees them front-on and realises they are too young.”

Never had I seen 2 women’s heads lift so fast and eyes light up and widen as if their Christmas had come early. “Hold on a minute”‘ I said. “It is normal for boys to have these thoughts in their teens.”

But the verdict was in and in writing. My son is a potential rapist. Now I will spend as long as it takes alongside all the other mother’s fighting this bias to clear my son’s name. I write letters to Mental Health but receive no replies. So, now my son is another statistic to show how young girls are unsafe. Another statistic for women’s refuge to use and alongside them their sister family violence.
(more…)

Fri 27th October 2006

NZ Family Violence Clearinghouse

Filed under: General — Downunder @ 9:22 pm

Current Initiatives link

The New Zealand Family Violence Clearinghouse maintains a list of current initiatives in the field of family violence prevention and intervention within Aotearoa New Zealand, including current projects, programmes, and strategies in the areas of: Services and practice; Research and evaluation; and Policy and legislation.

XY is a website focused on men?

Filed under: General — Downunder @ 8:40 pm

XY: men, masculinities, and gender politics

XY is a website focused on men, masculinities, and gender politics. XY is a space for the exploration of issues of gender and sexuality, the daily issues of men’s and women’s lives, and practical discussion of personal and social change.

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