Good on you for challenging me about child supprt and financially supporting your child.

I should be more careful with my choice of words.

I totally agree with what you are saying.

Little Johnny is cared for 65% of the time by mum and 35% of the time by dad. Obviously Dad has to provide a house, bedroom, clothes, toys etc, the same as mum. Often Dad will have to pay most of the school costs and other activities as well. Dad has to pay all the costs of transporting Johnny between houses.
On balance dad has to pay for at least as much as mum, often more.
All these things that dad pays for are finaically supporting the child.

However Dad has to pay mum 18% of his gross income in “child support” in ADDITION to all the other costs. This amount is calculated on what dad earns - it has nothing to do with what it costs to support Johnny at all. There is no accountablity for this money. Mum can and does spend it on herself.

To make matters worse, in many cases this money goes to the government. The government pay mum the DPB. In those cases, none of the money is going to support the child.

Dad is actually paying more than 51 cents in tax on every dollar he earns. Then he has to provide for himself and little Johnny as well.

From this simple and common example things get even worse but we’ll keep it simple to make the point.

In NZ supporting your child is different to paying so called “child support”. In many cases they have nothing to do with each other.

I have done a bit more learning over the past few days and I understand now that you will seek for the justice you believe in. On ‘Agenda’ this morning I learn’t that all parties are currupt, dishonest, lack morals and that one party is saying, “You live by your rules while I will live by mine.” Maybe that’s politics way of doing business. Everyone protests each other but will negotiate ‘Golden Handshakes” or ‘bribery’ to get what they want.

It is even more interesting with the conversation that is happening around me while I write this.

Do you know there is a group that are wanting to boycot the parties by encouraging no-one to vote and if they reach a cetain % the Government will be handed over to the queen.

Others say the catch is to find the least corrupt party to vote for.

Anyhow, I want to take back my challenge and stay away from politics.

Paul,

I haven’t counted how many comments you have deleted. They only came via e-mail because I had made comments on th same posts. I am no better than you to judge anyhow. But who cares, your family, son and other siblings may one day realise you are doing this now for the good of their future.

And from Bevan’s words you and others are doing it as a tool to grieve. The grieveing will pass and hopefully your family will understand.

Paul

Fair enough comment. I met for the first time with Man Alive (I think you mentioned that you worked there) and I am impressed with what they are doing and future plans.
I am still wanting to do a big meeting with all the charity groups after I speak with the leader from Man Alive when he comes back from overseas next year.

The funny thing that I am finding is that I am not getting treated the way I have been told I would from men regarding CYFS or other places. And I don’t think it is because I am female.

I think we all have to realise that we do as human beings bring alot of trouble onto ourselves because of our actions and attitude. And on top of that i do believe some people’s behaviour can also bring down others who are doing things worth while.

I can and will be a bitch if I feel it neccessary and as long as get away with it. (Just a warning) The people that helped me crawl out of the gutter were mostly men and I tell you they were hard on me and kept lifting the bar. In turn I do the same to others for often it saves lives. But in this fight it is neccessary to walk the talk because anything that is false will get shown up at some stage and be more damaging than helpful.

Stephen,

This is bullshit for you cannot be so silly to think all men are wonderful. You have to work within some sort of boundaries.

Hmmm. Hmmm. This would be so easy if we were face to face to sort out but we are not and I guess I am not going to get a straight answer from you. (easily) ha, ha, ha. They trained you well.
First is first. What does this mean?

First is that there is a difference between paying child support and supporting your child.

So that I get a clear picture please answer (a), (b) or ( c)

(a) You don’t pay child support because you have an arrangement with the mother

(b) You refuse to pay child support because you don’t get to see your child and if you did see your child you would contribute, or..

( c) You think child support is bullshit so you flatly refuse to pay it.