Kind Regards
Paul

Back off!
F has found herself in a position “regardless of cause” where her daughter requests and requires paternal participation in her life.
She has come to this website to find possible guidance and solution.
Regardless of what transpired in the past, today is a different day and the Focus should be Daddy / Daughter relationship building and vice versa.
Not a critical analysis or assumption of how this situation developed.

Back off. No way bro. This person won’t even identify themselves yet expects us to swallow hook, line and sinker their version of events.
And judging from some of the responses some folks gullibly do. And all the guff about ‘through no reason’.
Oh, no, no, no let’s not analyse the situation for one moment eh? We might uncover some uncomfortable facts which reveal there’s another side to this story.
Chivalry is a bitch.

Dear F, I am not wanting to put you down or take a side here. I am trying to help you manipulate (not a good term to use) so that you get what you want.

The truth is that you and me and everyone else in the world (except polititions and the elite) only have power and control of one person being OURSELVES. You have only that power and control and no other. If you want this you have to PLAY.

You cannot force a male nor female to do what you want. That is false power if you get to do so. It will always backfire if the other person has rights and wakes up to the fact. Don’t under estimate the power you have as a woman. (not with feminism just as you) This man does not forget you, he knows you exist or that a child exists no matter what goes down.

No-one here is saying you are wrong. We can’t do that because we are not perfect. Maybe I can put this another way. What do you think we can do to help you? We have no power over anyone else either. We can only help you help yourself.

If it is sympathy that you want…then I feel sorry for you. But I won’t do that because I have walked the talk. I know what you think and feel as I have done that myself. I was half the problem. Yes, this difference between the genders is 50/50. What part do you play in this? That is all you can control. Here is an article on my site to help.

Is your partner dating before you

Please don’t be a chicken. We will get to the bottom of this if you give us the chance. Where else can you turn to get reality?

Kindest Regards
Paul

I also ‘hear’ bitterness assuming me as one of those women typical of all the pain that men have gone through with regards to trying to gain access to their children.

Please hear, that I have for the past 4 years, without force and without success, tried my level best to encourage the father of our daughter to keep in touch.

I understand that you have seen and experienced much, but it is not fair that through the comments received, I appear to be regarded as possibly one of those who has systematically destroyed your own reason to trust. That would be like me announcing that all men are likely to have affairs and you are are not to be trusted. A ridiculous statement considering I know nothing about you at all!

It is not helpful to any one of our situations while one side assumes the position against the other. I feel for all of us, whatever we have gone through. Our children are the focus and I don’t agree with any action that deliberately avoids or interrupts the relationship between parents and children.

You men have had it exceptionally rough. It is also disheartening when some mothers and fathers choose not to stay in touch. Please understand this is the reality for some.

I initially wrote out of concern for my daughter and what her dad is missing out on. I have not put her dad down and I have not laid blame. None of you (although I thank you for your suggestions) have any idea of my experience and how I have tried to encourage the father to stay in touch.

As for the comments regarding ‘victimhood’, pity is not what seek. I really feel for you Stephen and the pain that you still appear to have as a victim yourself.

Regarding the comment that I will most likely have a ‘tom boy’, that is not the nearly 10 year old that I know!! No disrespect Julie, but it is way off base when I think of my daughter. I wish you could meet her and see for yourself

A feminist? Oh my, I am not! A single parent, I am, but not through thoughtless want or desire. Our daughter is bright, happy, creative, enthusiastic and positively surrounded. I cannot and will not express anything negative about her dad. The opposite would be disastrous, no matter what I’ve been through, it would be self-seeking and fruitless. Nothing to be gained there!

I will leave it at that and won’t be visiting this site again. Unfortunately, reaching out for some support was not what I hoped it would be. I wasn’t after an ex-husband bashing session. I was however expecting that I would be taken at face value.

I am glad you are commenting.

If the men’s movement had of been able to get shared parenting in Governement policy and law years ago
shared parenting

we would all be in a better position because they would be educating both men and women to work together as parents. They would be helping families and not destroying them. They would be helping us and not hindering us to raise our children well.

F, you neeed to something and fast as the father makes the daughter feminine in the first 7 years of her life. If he is not around you most likely will have a tom boy. Daddies fuss over their little princesses and they feel secure and the list goes on. Maybe if you bought a book or hired one from the library on this and just sent it to him with a note saying, “I never knew how important you were” or something of that effect and offerd to just listen to him because he is that important and promise not to put your say in his “ways” something might change. I am just guessing here. But he may feel powerless over the situation with both women in his life.
The same may go for you k.lauderdale. I believe men will fix things if they can but they can’t with the laws being biased and they can’t with feminism giving uneven power to women and they won’t if they don’t trust you.

Have either of you even written to a politition?

Your pain is blinding you to the fact that Kids need **Equal** doses of Mum and DAD from conception - A Solo attempt at parenting all to often leads to maladjusted adults - This may not show for many years and may well be hidden by attractive smiles and charming responces but don’t kid yourself our Jails - CYFS - FC and other bureacratic edifices are full of Solo Parented adults who grow the damage to our nation - Women becoming destructive Femi-Fascists the men becoming pink tinged endorses of Femi-Fascism and the not so charming becoming blatant crimes

Come talk - Onward - Jim

Great articles **Re-Victimhood** in Glenn Sacks latest E-NewsLetter up on my E-Group
Go http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HandsOnEqualParent-News/

Onward - Jim