Comments on: It Takes a Village of Lawyers to Raise a Child http://menz.org.nz/2007/it-takes-a-village-of-lawyers-to-raise-a-child/ - promoting a clearer understanding of men's experience - Mon, 1 Dec 2008 19:48:50 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 By: Stephen http://menz.org.nz/2007/it-takes-a-village-of-lawyers-to-raise-a-child/#comment-120303 Stephen Sat, 28 Apr 2007 01:15:02 +0000 http://menz.org.nz/2007/it-takes-a-village-of-lawyers-to-raise-a-child/#comment-120303 Here we are in a world of 50% marriage breakup. I use that as a rough figure, but the point is still clear. These days levels of divorce are astronimical compared to the times before 'no fault' divorce became de rigeur. I've reached the conclusion that whilst it's important to sort out equitable parenting for divorcees that a tremendous amount of heartache, bullshit and acrimony that would be avoided in the first place by getting rid of the 'no fault' divorce law. How can any western man feel secure entering a marriage/defacto relationionship when the chances of being stripped of marital assetts, children and future income are so high? Been there, done that and like millions of my western brothers now have the scars to prove it. To me it's a no-brainer to be part of the growing men's marriage strike. When our legislators, the media and society in general stop making it so easy and attractive for women to divorce men as a selfish lifestyle option many smart men will re-engage and there won't be anywhere as much need for painful post-divorce dealings as marriages will last. As an aside to this I notice that one of today's headlines is about rising levels of violence, truancy and stand downs <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/4040597a10.html" rel="nofollow">in schools</a> - no wonder with the amount of fatherlessness feminism encouraging women into 'no fault' divorce has created in nz. Here we are in a world of 50% marriage breakup. I use that as a rough figure, but the point is still clear. These days levels of divorce are astronimical compared to the times before ‘no fault’ divorce became de rigeur.
I’ve reached the conclusion that whilst it’s important to sort out equitable parenting for divorcees that a tremendous amount of heartache, bullshit and acrimony that would be avoided in the first place by getting rid of the ‘no fault’ divorce law.
How can any western man feel secure entering a marriage/defacto relationionship when the chances of being stripped of marital assetts, children and future income are so high?
Been there, done that and like millions of my western brothers now have the scars to prove it.

To me it’s a no-brainer to be part of the growing men’s marriage strike.
When our legislators, the media and society in general stop making it so easy and attractive for women to divorce men as a selfish lifestyle option many smart men will re-engage and there won’t be anywhere as much need for painful post-divorce dealings as marriages will last.
As an aside to this I notice that one of today’s headlines is about rising levels of violence, truancy and stand downs in schools - no wonder with the amount of fatherlessness feminism encouraging women into ‘no fault’ divorce has created in nz.

]]> By: Lucinda http://menz.org.nz/2007/it-takes-a-village-of-lawyers-to-raise-a-child/#comment-120297 Lucinda Fri, 27 Apr 2007 02:38:32 +0000 http://menz.org.nz/2007/it-takes-a-village-of-lawyers-to-raise-a-child/#comment-120297 Ok, I really don't care about all this but my teacher at college is making me write a small paper using Vygotsky's theory of cognitive development and Erikson's theory of emotional development, answering the question,why is the world of half adults so dangerous? All I want to know is what the hell a "half adult" is. Ok, I really don’t care about all this but my teacher at college is making me write a small paper using Vygotsky’s theory of cognitive development and Erikson’s theory of emotional development, answering the question,why is the world of half adults so dangerous? All I want to know is what the hell a “half adult” is.

]]> By: Jim Bailey http://menz.org.nz/2007/it-takes-a-village-of-lawyers-to-raise-a-child/#comment-110151 Jim Bailey Sat, 27 Jan 2007 09:35:25 +0000 http://menz.org.nz/2007/it-takes-a-village-of-lawyers-to-raise-a-child/#comment-110151 Interesting article - I am not challenged as a GrandDAD as long as **Equal** remains in tact - Grand Parents have the right/responcibilty even to spoil and give back as Julie says - The point being how much - I would say a Child should have a relationship with all its Grand Parents if at all possible - Even if it is to learn the bad bits of its DNA structure I suggest the rule should be something like - Grands share only a small part of the **Equal** applying to the parent on their side of the family and no more - In this case Mum had died but I think the same should apply The child spending only a few hours with the Grand Mum in any week Most Grand-Mums I know would be more than happy with spoiling 2/3 hrs per week and giving back the spoilee - would they not? Onward - Jim Interesting article - I am not challenged as a GrandDAD as long as **Equal** remains in tact - Grand Parents have the right/responcibilty even to spoil and give back as Julie says - The point being how much - I would say a Child should have a relationship with all its Grand Parents if at all possible - Even if it is to learn the bad bits of its DNA structure

I suggest the rule should be something like - Grands share only a small part of the **Equal** applying to the parent on their side of the family and no more - In this case Mum had died but I think the same should apply

The child spending only a few hours with the Grand Mum in any week

Most Grand-Mums I know would be more than happy with spoiling 2/3 hrs per week and giving back the spoilee - would they not?

Onward - Jim

]]> By: julie http://menz.org.nz/2007/it-takes-a-village-of-lawyers-to-raise-a-child/#comment-110097 julie Fri, 26 Jan 2007 03:26:46 +0000 http://menz.org.nz/2007/it-takes-a-village-of-lawyers-to-raise-a-child/#comment-110097 I mean walk the talk. By the way Intrepid, I am not including you in this. You may be an intellectual but you are also practical. I mean walk the talk.

By the way Intrepid, I am not including you in this. You may be an intellectual but you are also practical.

]]> By: julie http://menz.org.nz/2007/it-takes-a-village-of-lawyers-to-raise-a-child/#comment-110096 julie Fri, 26 Jan 2007 03:22:55 +0000 http://menz.org.nz/2007/it-takes-a-village-of-lawyers-to-raise-a-child/#comment-110096 Oh, I posted without finishing. But I am sick of this crap. I listen to intellects. Man, they definately have something to prove to the world. Intellects need to come down. You can discuss every problem in the world but you solve none. You have no respect from me until you walk the walk. Oh, I posted without finishing. But I am sick of this crap. I listen to intellects. Man, they definately have something to prove to the world.

Intellects need to come down. You can discuss every problem in the world but you solve none. You have no respect from me until you walk the walk.

]]> By: julie http://menz.org.nz/2007/it-takes-a-village-of-lawyers-to-raise-a-child/#comment-110095 julie Fri, 26 Jan 2007 03:18:35 +0000 http://menz.org.nz/2007/it-takes-a-village-of-lawyers-to-raise-a-child/#comment-110095 Intrepid, I read this article on your site but it is nice I can have a say. Being a grandparent is, for my life, a whole other experience. Some of my so called friends (maybe associates, we shall see) are grandparents. Most are older than me but we do discuss this as we are mothers and these are our grandchildren. Some of us will be lucky to be allowed to 'just spoil our grandchildren' and then hand them back to the parents who will have to put them back in line. But isn't that our priveledge? Shouldn't we be allowed to do that? Isn't that what our parents did? Unfortunately, society is so hard on parents having to work two jobs and our children are too spoilt. They expect so much from grandparents now. And what sucks is that we can't choose their wives or husbands. This is a huge discussion amongst women because we see far too much of what our friends (associates) are going through and we just hope we won't have to go through that but have a better time. I have come to the conclusion that we are not going to have it our way. Those days don't exist anymore for parents are having to care for thier children today until their late 30's thanx to the selfish attitudes and the hardships to get ahead in todays society. Personally, I don't think this grandmother is over stepping the line. Unless she is one of a kind yet her daughter would have set boundaries along time before her death. This man should be seeing things from the grandmothers point of view as far as i'm concerned. Infact, this guy is an intellect dick. IMO. He thinks he is so cool yet he intellect Intrepid,

I read this article on your site but it is nice I can have a say. Being a grandparent is, for my life, a whole other experience. Some of my so called friends (maybe associates, we shall see) are grandparents. Most are older than me but we do discuss this as we are mothers and these are our grandchildren.

Some of us will be lucky to be allowed to ‘just spoil our grandchildren’ and then hand them back to the parents who will have to put them back in line. But isn’t that our priveledge? Shouldn’t we be allowed to do that? Isn’t that what our parents did?

Unfortunately, society is so hard on parents having to work two jobs and our children are too spoilt. They expect so much from grandparents now. And what sucks is that we can’t choose their wives or husbands. This is a huge discussion amongst women because we see far too much of what our friends (associates) are going through and we just hope we won’t have to go through that but have a better time.

I have come to the conclusion that we are not going to have it our way. Those days don’t exist anymore for parents are having to care for thier children today until their late 30’s thanx to the selfish attitudes and the hardships to get ahead in todays society.

Personally, I don’t think this grandmother is over stepping the line. Unless she is one of a kind yet her daughter would have set boundaries along time before her death.

This man should be seeing things from the grandmothers point of view as far as i’m concerned.

Infact, this guy is an intellect dick. IMO. He thinks he is so cool yet he intellect

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