Again, thank you everybody! It’s a great felling to know your not alone.

8 hrs a fortnight is not much better than a McD’s Dad

Surely with James-N’s help and the many good men he has built around him in your home town you can move toward Week about Equal Parenting

Remember being the ideal DAD means being the male part of Parent 24X7

In the early stages of Equal Parenting you may not be able to be HandsOn, but you can probably work in with those DADS on the DPB in James’s group to at worse be in charge using known DADS to be there when you can’t.

I bought into a taxi business so I could control my hours of work better and took on drivers to fill the gaps when I was with my Son - They became great mates often picking my boy up in the taxi and sharing the load - I was not always HandsOn but was always in charge - In fact I have had dinner with 2 of those drivers tonight, 10 years later - they have become suregate uncles to my boy - Just hopeing to give you some ideas.

Mums saying she is not ready at 8 is Feminist bullshit

Dads should be HandsOnEqualParents from conception

So what if Mum thinks something different

Go for it mate start the long haul to Equal Parenting with the help of James and his local lads ASAP

They do great BBQ’s but can’t handle Speight’s Dark

Onward - Jim

Stanley Clawar and Brynne Rivlin have claimed in Children Held Hostage: Dealing with Programmed and Brainwashed Children that many forms of mind control are used in Parental alienation by one parent against the other parent using both parents’ children as unwitting weapons. This use of devastating mind control is often detrimental to children and follows them into adulthood by creating a chronic condition which the authors have named Parental Alienation Syndrome. (It should be noted that there is no medical or psychological recognition of PAS as an actual syndrome, and that the use of this term serves to reify the age-old practice of one parent turning the child against the other). The authors claim the mind control used in Parental Alienation often permanently damages or destroys the target parent’s bonds with his or her children. While this is undoubtedly true in some cases, in others, the alienating parent may be in fact protecting the child from an abusive or inadequate parent. These kinds of disputes are complex and the use of a simplistic term such as PAS can distract from the uniqueness of each situation.

The parental alienation syndrome is not currently considered a syndrome in the DSM-IV and the American Psychological Association officially takes no position on “the purported syndrome.” [28] It has been stated that the parental alienation syndrome should not be admitted in court, due to evidentiary and causation problems with its theory and due to the dangerous feeling of reliability and believability in this self-published theory. [29]

Am hutt valley based and would be hapopy to chat offline about this.

Ph 5860880 (Note it will likely go to message - leave 1)

Regards

Scrap

If you do not have any immediate family where you live perhaps then you have frinds with family and other children that you could join in with for BBQ’s and get togethers.

are there any Mens support groups in your area? Perhaps they have family events for fathers & their kids in the same situation.

Do some internet research and find out what’s on in your area.

don’t beleive that you will ever give up and over time it may even get a little easier. Keep trying!!

My suggestion to you and all the other fathers out there, record make notes and copies of everything.

About Time,
Thank you for sharing, it’s a consolation to know I’m not alone in this scenario.

Carolyn,
Short of calling the school I’m never told about those events even when I ask and I’m the only person in my family that lives in Wellington. I agree, she needs more time with me.

Scott,
Your 100% correct, i am doing the documentary - and this is one of the reasons for it. The money comes from donations and proceeds from my book sales. You made a good point and I think everybody deserves to know where the money for that is coming from
Another good point you raised is about giving up… please don’t think I’m giving up but there has to be a better way which brings less stress to all concerned. I’ll never give up on my daughter but I also have to weigh the odds and do what is best for all concerned. I’m turning myself inside out with this.

That aside, I am in a similar position. JUST DON”T GIVE UP. Fight for more. Organise exciting things for her to do when she is with you so she looks forward to that time. Too many fathers are just giving up and going oh it’s too hard. You have it much better than I do and probably a lot of fathers/some mothers. Sorry I feel for you I really do, it just annoys me when parents give up the fight. It’s all about the children!

Sorry I just realised how harsh that is, but really you asked if you’re doing the right thing and I don’t believe you are.