Comments on: advice reqd: fathers who have won custody of a child.

By: martin swash

martin swash — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 14:33:51 +0000

I have just been reading about a French philisopher, Robert Briffault, who emigrated to NZ and studied at Dunedin University, his laws about women were as follows :-

The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place.

To put it in our terms, once the state can offer her MORE income than her husband, then she will think about leaving you. It is all these Social Security benefits from the state that single women receive that are one of the root problems of WHY we are being treated like we are. In England, single mothers can work 16 hours and receive huge amounts of “tax credits” which are equal to a married couple working 70-80 hours (paying tax). In most other western countries single mothers receive DPB, house, legal aid, etc etc etc. At the time of writing, Briffault’s law was contraversial because the man was still considered head of the family.

As a corollary to this law , has been added the realisation of divorced men that “Past benefit provided by the male does not provide for continued or future association”. Unlike men, women will not even think about the past love or money you have given her or your kids. This was of the things that so amazed me, women just think of your potential in the future, and if the state can offer more she will be off, and not think of anything you have done or given her in the past

By: J W Buckley

J W Buckley — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 09:06:46 +0000

Hi there great to hear im not the only one with basically the same issues. I would like to know how much damage has been created by our flawed system eg. Child support family courts I havnt seen my two children in 2 years as it is to difficult because of issues that you have encountered,i think your doing the right thing with your main arguement (go for it) Good luck with your battle you”ll need it.

By: noconfidence

noconfidence — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 10:48:55 +0000

I also know a father who has full custody (maybe we know the same person..lol). While all these stories are great, it doesn’t distract from the facts that they were the lucky ones.

During relationship services counselling I was told by the counsellor that the family court errs on the side of the woman. I’ve been told by lawyers that thsi is true and I’ve seen it with my own eyes. L4C is a classic example with my one only wanting to meet the children while my ex has them in her care. I’ve had psychologists say things that my kids have supposed to have said that I know are a lie. Mind you the same person wrote things about what I had said which weren’t true so I have zero tolerance for psychologists. The thought of a medieval witch hunt springs to mind.

By the way; does anyone know how my kids can fire their lawyer without the court using the old ‘they are being influenced by others’ excuse ? Do they need to get another lawyer to represent them and take action in another court ?

By: Keen Skier

Keen Skier — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 10:15:20 +0000

Make that 3, so did I!

By: SicKofNZ

SicKofNZ — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 09:33:29 +0000

Oh, the Femily Court is definitely biased. I also won full custody of my children. The time,effort and expense required to accomplish that considering I was always their primary care-giver and that she was practically certifiable proved that. My journey to keep my children safe was saturated with Femily Court bias.
Their mother ended up with supervised visits for the first year (one hour per month).
I know of one other father who has won full custody of his children despite vehement opposition from the mother besides me now. Two wins don’t constitute balance nor disprove a bias. Maybe your father was ‘the other one’ that my solicitor spoke to me about.

By: Skeptik

Skeptik — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 06:49:57 +0000

I’d love to hear his version of events.
He must have had a sense that something was terribly amiss to have left and taken the five kids.

By: Sam

Sam — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 05:19:54 +0000

The Family Court is not always as biased as you might think – my father has 5 kids by 3 different mothers and has full custody (or had – I’m 21 now, but my younger siblings are still in his care) of 4 of those kids. The other he did not go to court over.

And I do mean full custody – visits with my mother were supervised initially, for at least a year.

By: Alastair

Alastair — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 01:07:27 +0000

It is well recognised that until you forgive, you cannot move on. This unforgiveness not only screws you up mentally it does it physically also. A large proportion of people (Female and male) who are perpetually sick with mysterious illnesses have unforgiveness in their life. There is a cure, this is not an appropriate forum. Contact me off list if you wish!

By: mother love

mother love — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 22:23:26 +0000

hi, yes so much of the decision and outcome is placed on the kids point of view- the mother had that base covered! our lawyer was not confident of a positive outcome for us- and that was only for contact to remain in place, luckily the judge saw through it and allowed contact to remain.

thanks for your comment.

By: mother love

mother love — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 22:14:19 +0000

thankyou for your comment, i cannot understand sometimes why people would be so bitter, at some stage in your life there must be a point where you have to let go in order to move on. we do not hold out much hope of winning here and therefore 50/50 sounds like an option. perhaps i am living in a fantasy world where eveything should be peaceful and harmonious. lol