- promoting a clearer understanding of men's experience -

MENZ.org.nz Logo First visit to MENZ.org.nz? Here's our introduction page.

MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

Thu 30th January 2014

Have to pay to make an application???

Filed under: General — nzleagle @ 7:08 pm

Hi all,

I have been out of the Family court system since end of 2010, after finally getting to a defended hearing, getting a decent outcome, just for it to start falling apart 3 months later, followed by total destruction about 8 months later… And after the 3 years in the court getting me to the verge of divorce and entering the court for two other children, I pretty much walked away.

Things have settled down a lot in the last 6 – 12 months, and I am trying to re establish contact (total of 15 min physical contact in 2 1/2 years) I sent a formal request to my ex asking for a re introduction program with a suggestion of what I was looking for, then to continue the parenting order as per 2010. To that I have had no response what so ever, so I drew up court documents to bring proceedings back to the family court, asking for exactly what I had asked my ex directly for, turn up to the court to affirm an affidavit, to see on the wall that it now costs $220 to file an application for parenting order…

Is this for new files, or all?

Do I need to go along the line of applying to have a parenting order enforced instead?

Auckland barrister blows chance of becoming Family Court Judge

Filed under: Domestic Violence,Law & Courts — JohnPotter @ 7:16 am

Anthony Morahan writes in the NZ Herald that much of the comment on the murder of Bradley and Ellen Livingstone of Dunedin seems to have consisted of calls for punitive action.

Anthony Morahan: Punishing dead men will do nothing for families.

He says that women can do anything, including violence. He refers to NZ research that shows women are just as likely to resort to violence as are men.

Doesn’t he realise that this is heresy?

Lawyers aren’t supposed to publicly acknowledge that the Family Court is used to exert female “power and control”:

Protection orders are often made against fathers who are accused of being “controlling”. But women often seek protection orders to control men or to punish men for not paying what the mother considers to be enough child maintenance.

He notes that facilities which support men, such as the Father and Child Trust, struggle for funding.

He makes what seem to me to be some very sensible suggestions about protection orders:

A protection order should be granted only where there is need, not as a punishment or to give one parent an advantage over the other. Protection orders should not be used to cut off contact between parent and child. There should be arrangements for continued, but safe, contact. Protection orders should not remain in force indefinitely. A protection order should expire unless, on review, there is a demonstrable need for the order to continue.

Comments are open on the Herald website.

Sat 25th January 2014


Filed under: General — Downunder @ 3:54 pm

Inside Arohata Women’s Prison

I saw this on stuff.co.nz as a feature story with a picture up and the first thing that came to mind was what does Arohata mean in Maori.

I (and I think many people would) know that aroha translates as love.

The women sit in a semi-circle, heads down, quiet. They’re there to talk about their most private experiences, many of them traumatic to recall. Five women with five long stories of abuse, drugs and violence.

Their stories and ages differ, but all are living behind the walls at Arohata Women’s Prison.

As best I can see is that this might mean ‘without love’.

Arohata Women’s prison – the woman we no longer love – if there is a better translation than that I would like to know.

What are the upcoming changes to the Family Court?

Filed under: Law & Courts — Jimbob @ 10:51 am

Hello everyone, I’m hoping that you might be able to help me understand what is currently happening in my case.

In late November I filed papers seeking changes to my current contact arrangement. Most of the changes are rather minor issues, the biggest ones would be increasing contact from 1 to 2 overnight stays a week, and increasing holiday contact to a more reasonable level (it’s currently pitiful).

At a meeting regarding holiday contact in November, Lawyer for Child put very heavy pressure on me to agree to mediation. I refused to make a decision on the spot, and told her I needed time to think about it.

Among other things, she said “There are changes to the Family Court coming into effect in the New Year, and if you don’t make a decision now (about mediation), it will be much harder to sort things out later”.

Lawyer for Child has said she would support my request to increase contact, but to be frank, I wouldn’t trust her as far as I could throw her. She swings between condescending and abrasive, and has repeatedly made comments such as “I’m a single mother too, I see things from her point of view”.

My last experience of mediation was a long drawn out affair that took nearly a full day and cost me several thousand dollars in legal fees, while my ex-partner simply sat there (with her free lawyer) and refused to agree to anything. Eventually the mediator wore her down to the point of grudgingly agreeing to one day a week. In exchange I had to agree to jump through a whole lot of hoops.

My ex-partner is currently holding a grudge about our recent a holiday contact case, she won’t even speak to me during changeover, and it’s visibly distressing our child. My Ex isn’t an easy person to negotiate with on a good day, she has a history of being obstinate and I doubt she’ll voluntarily agree to any substantial increase in contact. I don’t have a great deal of confidence that mediation will produce a reasonable result.

What I’m hoping you could tell me is…

Why is Lawyer for Child pressuring me so intensely to agree to mediation? (Does the Family Court have some sort of incentive program for Lawyer for Child to get them to push for mediation?)

What are the upcoming changes to the Family Court? How would they they be relevant to my case or mediation? And when do they come into effect?

Will any of the upcoming changes affect Legal Aid? And will the changes affect my case since it was filed in November? My ex-partner is on a benefit and uses her ‘free’ lawyer to deliberately delay and draw-out every issue at no expense to her.

How much would it cost to take a case like this through to a hearing? (assuming I’m paying for my lawyer) And how long would it take?

– – Jimbob

Wed 22nd January 2014

Working With Real Evidence

Filed under: General — MurrayBacon @ 7:26 pm

How to use a HIDDEN CAMERA to protect yourself

Tue 21st January 2014

Free Support Group for Dads

Filed under: General — Brendon Smith @ 1:47 pm

In light of recent, related events, Father and Child Trust are pleased to announce that their Fathers’ Mauri Ora Circle meetings start again tomorrow evening in Onehunga.

Since 2009, every Wednesday 7-9pm, fathers have been welcome to gather together and share issues. Dads of all ages, stages, races and cultures find solace, support and in some cases, ways to progress seemingly stalled situations…

See below for press release on website or call for further information…


Father and Child
Trust – Auckland
83 Church Street
Onehunga, Akld
PO Box 11931
Ellerslie 1542
Ph 525 1690

Sun 19th January 2014

Judith Collins Accused of Sexist Hyprocrisy

Filed under: General — Ministry of Men's Affairs @ 9:59 am

Media Release from the Mininstry of Men’s Affairs, responding to Judith Collins’ anti-union attacks as evident e.g. in the NZ Herald story “Minister softens over claims of rort in ACC workplace safety training” last week:

Minister Collins accused of hypocrisy

Judith Collins was today accused of hypocrisy for her position on ACC’s funding of CTU training of health and safety representatives that has not clearly been shown to increase workplace safety. Community group the Ministry of Men’s Affairs (MoMA) today accused Minister Collins of presiding over a hugely expensive system of protection orders even though there has never been any evidence that they protect people or reduce family violence. MoMA spokesperson Hans Laven said “In fact, family violence including murders appear to be provoked by protection orders and the Domestic Violence Act”. (more…)

Sat 18th January 2014

Prostate debate

Filed under: General,Men's Health — Downunder @ 6:44 am

Brochures encouraging men to talk to their GPs about prostate cancer have been attacked in prominent international medical journals, and New Zealand experts claim they are “taking a gamble with men’s health”.

Differing Opinions in the medical world


Thu 16th January 2014

Murder suicide of Edward Livingstone

Filed under: General — Downunder @ 7:05 am

In unfolding news from Dunedin

More here.

The Armed Offenders Squad was deployed and while clearing the address discovered the bodies of a 51-year-old Milton man and of two children, a 9-year-old boy and a 6-year-old girl.

The man (possibly the father) is believed to be a Corrections Department employee. (more…)

Mon 13th January 2014

The familycaught$ wasn’t there?

Filed under: General — MurrayBacon @ 7:54 pm

The mediation myth

Family Court counselors and mediators try to resolve matters out of court. But at whose expense? Here’s Norm’s story. (Norm is not his real name, but it’s appropriate because his story is fairly normal).

I’d like to talk just a little bit about what has been and continues to be the worst period of my life.

I arrived home after a particularly bad day at the office, to find a note saying “I’ve gone, and I’ve taken Susan and Michael and I won’t be back, P.S. Don’t try and find us or the Police will deal with you”.

Sun 12th January 2014

The Truth of the Glass Ceiling Revealed

Filed under: General — triassic @ 4:15 pm

Here is the proof that women have always had their fair share of power. It displays how wise women protect their investment. Nothing wrong with that!!! Stating that women have been denied power in society is quite wrong. The enclosed situation has been happening since the Big Bang. How we obtain power is unique to our circumstances. To view the 7 shots in the Obama1.gif file… download then play.

Long live Michelle!!!!

UK Woman lawyer admits to being Slow Learner?

Filed under: General — MurrayBacon @ 8:15 am

20th May 2004


By Marilyn Stowe

A lawyer changing their mind may seem, to some, as likely as money growing on trees. But I recently came into contact with a group of people who have opened my eyes about a growing problem in society – is the law acting unfairly towards fathers and access to their children after divorce?

Until recently, all I knew about organizations which represented such fathers came from media coverage of the protest antics of men dressed as Spiderman and Batman hanging from bridges and disrupting traffic as part of their campaign.

At first I thought they were just extremists. I even said so in The Times. My comments generated a tidal wave of responses from men who were clearly very angry at the treatment they had received from the courts over access to their children after a divorce.

I began an email diaIogue with many of these individuals, both here in the UK and abroad. What I learned has caused me to alter my views

Sat 11th January 2014

Men abandon New Zealand

Filed under: General — Downunder @ 7:52 am

Historically, the country has had the opposite problem. Kiwi men of the 1800s and early 1900s often struggled to find a partner.

But since the 1980s there have been more women than men and the imbalance is now as bad as it’s ever been.

Well there’s a real surprise.

Wed 8th January 2014

Boy of 9 in mother’s care found Drunk

Filed under: General — triassic @ 6:27 pm

This story needs a lot more facts to be uncovered to determine the full culpability of the mother but I am appalled at what I read. The boy’s father is NOT impressed and I note that all of the children are in the mothers care.

Here is the problem with cases like this….. In order to bring the real story to the NZ public any news media have a problem with what it can reveal due to restrictions. Media will instead focus on alcohol and children rather than why a child is in the care of a mother, who appears to be incompetent in parenting, rather than the father. In the video it is apparent that the race of the boy is Polynesian and this group is particularly vulnerable to the public disease of alcohol abuse which leads to relationship abuse.

Stories like this one are happening daily and only by luck of social media did we pick this one up.

Favouring mothers as the main care giver of children based on their gender is a social experiment gone VERY wrong but I won’t see this change in my life time. I will just sit back and see the carnage in the news and the fruitless chit chat around how to fix the problem without society ever understanding where the problem actually lies.

There are none so blind as those who will not see!

Tue 7th January 2014

Men Can be Victims too

Filed under: Domestic Violence,Gender Politics — JohnPotter @ 8:30 pm

Michael Coren and Barbara Kay discuss the challenges facing men in modern society – Deadbeat dads – Men have rights too.

Sun 5th January 2014

Registrars review – Parenting order

Filed under: General — BF1972 @ 3:12 pm

For those of you that have already gone through the hoops of the Family Court in relation to parenting orders, I have a registrars review with respect to counsel led mediation (that hasn’t happened yet) later this month and I need to provide written submissions of my proposal to the Court. Can someone tell me if this is in the format of an affidavit or just a letter back to the registrar?



Open Course Materials in Masculinity, Sexual Behavior and Health

Filed under: General — MurrayBacon @ 8:04 am

Masculinity, Sexual Behavior and Health

Freya Sonenstein, PhD

Arik V. Marcell, MD

Course Number: 380.720

Reading seminar focusing on male adolescent health and sexual issues and explores the meaning of masculinity and the impact of masculine beliefs on men’s health and health care use. Students critique the literature and explore methods to design interventions working within a masculinity framework to improve men’s health outcomes.

Fri 3rd January 2014

Feminists Goals for 2014

Filed under: General — Lukenz @ 9:33 pm

From her own lips. Rebecca Kamm’s bright future for woman.

This is her ideal world for feminists. New year resolutions for feminists



Filed under: General — Bruce S @ 7:01 pm

“A shocking exposé of the inner workings of the $50 billion a year U.S. family law industry, Divorce Corp shines a bright light on the appalling waste, and shameless collusive practices seen daily in family courts. It is a stunning documentary film that anyone considering marriage or divorce must see.”

Whilst United States centric; there are so many parallels that this could be New Zealand. Movie coming soon….or will it be banned here?

More details here: http://divorcecorp.com/

Powered by WordPress

Skip to toolbar