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Sun 27th July 2014

The Feminist Effect On Culture Jokes

Filed under: General — Downunder @ 10:21 am

I would like to blame the Aussies for starting it, but history tells a different story – yes, this goes way back.

Even, back past the Condom War. You haven’t heard of the Condom War?

Well, the English stood on their little Island and yelled across the Channel, ‘Frenchies’ and the French yelled back, ‘English overcoats’, and that’s how it started.

Of course, we’re all too familiar with the Aussie jokes about Kiwis being sheep shaggers:

There’re no women in Waiouri so the soldiers chase the Waioru Blondes around the paddock, and why we wear gumboots; they can’t run away with their back legs in your gumboots.

You know those jokes, we’ve all heard them.

That all started when there were few women around and more sheep than men. But then there was more women, than men and sheep put together, and the Red Fems wanted to change our culture. They’re called our new culture, Rape Culture.

[Those Red Fems were really out to give us blokes a hard time - checked the register of pecuniary assets and surprise, surprise - those Red Fems all had shares in the same strap-on factory; bet ya didn't know that?]

But now the Aussies have started on with the Rape Culture jokes. ‘How do Kiwi men hold their women – down so they can’t run away’.

Yeah, well the Aussies don’t tie their kangaroos down anymore – they tie their women up instead.

We can give as good as we get.

Truth is, this rape culture stuff actually came out of the death of a political party – you could tell the Labour party was dead when it started pushing up daisies pansies.

Then there was a gallant last ditch effort by MP Trevor Mallard, to breathe life into that dead parrot with the resurrection of the moa (I know, we were all a little moa-tified at the time). But Trevor has this lifelong dream to create the first Ministry of Culture Jokes.

He had visions of Aussies cracking jokes like; ‘how do Kiwis hold their mowers – by the tail feathers’.

And why did the Irishman end up in hospital; ‘he tried to shag a running moa mower.

Ah, it didn’t last, all this Rape Culture stuff … and they’ve since run out of resurrected moa to chase … and the Red Fems can’t find anyone else to apologise for being a man … and the whole silly game hasn’t been without its casualties …

“Excuse me. EXCUSE me. Why are you nailing Mallard to that perch?”

“He likes to be nailed to his perch when he’s sleeping.”

“He’s not asleep, he’s a dead duck.”

“Oh no, no, he’s really just asleep.”

“That Mallard has shuffled of his moa-tle coil.”

“Oh no, I assure you, he’s just asleep.”

“That duck is … [hmmm, what rhymes with duck?].”

And so it was the beginning of the end for the Red Fems really, when they realised that they had killed off their credibility along with their political party … and that the voters really didn’t want Rape Culture … they liked the one they already had.

40 Responses to “The Feminist Effect On Culture Jokes”

  1. The man in Absentia says:

    How did Cunliffe apologise for being a man?
    Ask their men’s affairs spokesperson.
    You have to have balls to be a man!

  2. The man in Absentia says:

    How can you tell that Cunliffe only has one testical
    He leans to the left

  3. The man in Absentia says:

    Why are all Labours posters blood red
    They are having a bad period

  4. The man in Absentia says:

    How do you tell a party that they are being kicked out of parliament.
    They start having bad Labour pains.

  5. The man in Absentia says:

    Why did labour decide to have equal numbers of male and female MPs.
    They ran out of real men.
    Or they ran out?

  6. The man in Absentia says:

    Why do labour MPs look forward to elections
    Because they cant have erections

  7. soMENi says:

    _________________________________________

    Why is the Labour Party only receiving 25% of the vote in polls?
    Because only 1 in 4 people hate men and boys.

    _________________________________________

    What do you call the Labour Party leader dressed up in drag?
    Ms Andry.
    _________________________________________

  8. The man in Absentia says:

    What is the average cost of a Labour MP

    After the election, nothing

  9. The man in Absentia says:

    What do men and the Labour party have in common.
    They both buy AA batteries to have fun with their toys.

  10. The man in Absentia says:

    What Relationship do Unions and Labour have
    A civil one

  11. The man in Absentia says:

    Why does Jacinda Adern love women on the DPB
    She has never felt hard Labour

  12. The man in Absentia says:

    What is a rape culture
    One involving Lawyers behaving like Vultures

  13. The man in Absentia says:

    Why did Cunliffe apologise for being a man.
    He forgot how to behave like one.

  14. The man in Absentia says:

    Knock Knock
    Whos there
    Labour
    Who?

  15. The man in Absentia says:

    How can you tell no Green MPs own mirrors.
    They campaign on getting rid of cows.

  16. The man in Absentia says:

    How many criminals does it take to change a light bulb

    120

  17. The man in Absentia says:

    Why are oral questions so much fun
    You get to give the opposition a good tongue lashing
    Until the speaker says stop! Stop!

  18. The man in Absentia says:

    How do you know National will win the election

    Labours coming from behind

  19. The man in Absentia says:

    Why are MPs called members
    They have to fit in the slot given to them by the speaker

  20. The man in Absentia says:

    Why do politicians say
    Put your money where your mouth is

  21. The man in Absentia says:

    Why do the Greens love natural landscapes

    But hate men’s calendars

  22. The man in Absentia says:

    Why do the Greens love sustainability

    They love riding old bikes

  23. The man in Absentia says:

    Why do politicians talk about lolly scrambles, and giggle.

    They behave like children

  24. The man in Absentia says:

    Why do politicians say

    Put your money where your mouth is

    Then pass this bill

  25. The man in Absentia says:

    What do politicians and condoms have in common

    They both stop unwanted leeks

    Well most of the time

  26. The man in Absentia says:

    What do politicians and prostitutes have in common

    Time limits

  27. The man in Absentia says:

    Why is Hone never at parliament

    He thinks it got confiscated

  28. The man in Absentia says:

    Why does John need so many helpers

    He has early onset alzheimers

    He keeps losing his Keys

  29. The man in Absentia says:

    How do you know the aliens have arrived
    Winston’s talking immigration

  30. The man in Absentia says:

    How do you know your Conservative
    You can believe God helped a man calve the Ten Commandments
    But watch a video of the moon landing and cant believe it

  31. The man in Absentia says:

    Why are cucumbers wrapped in plastic

    Recycling

  32. The man in Absentia says:

    What type of condoms do politicians like

    Ones were they can give each other a good ribbing

  33. The man in Absentia says:

    How can you tell if one member enjoys the other

    When he’s finished the other stands up to give him the clap

  34. The man in Absentia says:

    How do you tell that politicians a stupid

    You have to read things to them 3 times

  35. Downunder says:

    Sounds like Kim Dotcom got himself in hot water with Laila when he tweeted this culture joke:

    Hi,

    I’m Batman

    I mean BRUCE

    SHIT

    [kills hooker]

    It’s a re-make of an old joke about a doctor checking to see if his patient has any holes in her marble bag.

    Dr: And what’s your middle name madam.

    Woman: (name) And now I am going to have to kill you.

    I guess you can’t tell jokes like that anymore when you want the sex worker’s collective to endorse your party.

  36. The man in Absentia says:

    Long ago I set out to prove that God does not exist, it took me a few years, I was severely punished for it.
    I did a deal, that if I stopped trying to answer it, my suffering would stop, look at young fathers. Suffering and Purgatory followed my deal, because I denied it, but I have now found peace. Only now do I understand.
    I have discovered that my answer to what god is, is the same as that of Jesus. Which is not what the bible tells you, even though Jesus never lied to you, yet I have not read it, but in parts.

    Who is a man that wants only for the flow of money, has been sent by his master the empire, to a small third class province, who’s wife tries to guide his morals, who collects taxes for his desires to build, and at heart is a good man, but will act on the vote, polls of others.

    Pontius Pilate or is it John Key

    Who is Herod Antipas, the slightly chubby playboy?

  37. OMG! You're *(%*%(^ says:

    Gog’s just set out to prove that The man in Absentia doesn’t exist ….

  38. OMG! You're *(%*%(^ says:

    *God* (what a Freudian slip, if I ever made one).

  39. ornerybloke says:

    Oh, if only the man in absentia really was………………

  40. Downunder says:

    So some people do actually read Menz.

    Dr Pani Farvid, an Iranian-born psychologist at AUT, proudly told a women’s election forum in Auckland last night that the Internet Party was “a feminist party”.

    Source NZ Herald – unbelievable.

    “He (Kim Dotcom) is not perfect. He is not the party, he’s the founder, but we are a feminist party. He has apologised himself, I’m not excusing him, that sort of thing is not OK, absolutely. He just doesn’t know any better and he should.”

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