What to do when your relationship is over (separate, breakup, split up, divorce), and want to sort out ‘Parenting’.
The internet is a wonderful tool to share information and menz is a popular site for New Zealand fathers looking for information regarding:
- separation and divorce
- parenting plans that become parenting orders
- Shared parenting
- Equal parenting
- Full Custody aka day-to-day care of children
- domestic violence
- child support
- and more
One such father didn’t seem to find what he was looking for which prompted me to revisit menz today to see what I could find with the question he asked in mind which was, “What do I do now [that I am separated]?”.
Yesterday, when the question came up in a group setting, I thought and said to a parent’s advocate, “Perhaps we should make a list that we can give to dads” and today made arrangements with another parents’s advocate and a lawyer separately to collect information….. BUT THEN
OMG, I-M-P-R-E-S-S-I-V-E. I’ve ended up contacting both advocates and saying, “We just need to give out links, one in particular being [the/a] DIVORCE FIRST AID KIT FOR MEN. What a fabulous description ‘First Aid Kit’, what a fabulous idea. I want to make something similar for single parents and now have something to use as a foundation.
The Divorce Kit has many pages of information provided ‘free of charge’ from years of advocacy experience and effort. The beauty of having written information is that it’s all there, nothing is accidentally forgotten that can happen through word of mouth while the beauty of having it online means you simply give a link and fathers can look pages over in their own home at the own time.
Unfortunately information can be ‘out of date’ when changes arise and right now there are changes to the Family Court process. I don’t know much about the changes. So far, I know:
- There’s no more ‘free’ counselling sessions
- These have been replaced with ‘mediation’
- Mediation costs parents or tax payers $800+
I’ve heard churches have mediation contracts which means so do culture groups. This gives me the impression of society going back in time to when church and tribal elders would hear relationship problems but this time they get paid either by parents or tax payers when the parents have financial hardship. **To keep it modern, participants can invite their lawyers.**
There’s also discussion under the heading ‘Law & Courts‘ where fathers can find information and advice about Family Court processes and the people involved (lawyers, etc) AND in the top right-hand corner is a search box that I used to find the ‘Divorce First Aid Kit for Men‘.
NOTE: I don’t personally agree with all the information provided in the divorce kit and prefer to take family separation case by case. However, there are things I agree with. and wish families all the best.