MENZ Issues

Big Buddy- Dangerous Window Dressing?

The Big Buddy program is based on the philosophy that boys need good male role models in their lives to become good men. Implicit is that good male role models provide a substitute for a father.
There is no provision to provide good male role models in the lives of girls to become good women.
There is no provision for female big buddies for the children, who need a female role model in their lives,
The big buddies are interviewed, police checked, and screened by a psychologist
The selection of “Big Buddies” does not seek men who are, or have been fathers, and most big buddies are probably childless single men.
The candidate Big Buddies are not asked about their sexual orientation.
The ‘little buddies’ and their mothers are NOT Police checked, interviewed by a psychologist, or have any checking done into any possible history of abuse committed by them.

Fatherless Kids are:
5 times more likely to commit suicide
32 times more likely to run away
20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
14 times more likely to commit rape
9 times more likely to drop out of high school
10 more likely to abuse chemical substances
9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution
20 times more likely to end up in prison

Big Buddy equates fatherhood with ‘male role model’. Fatherhood is to ‘male role model’ as Love is to pornography. There is no evidence that having a ‘male role model’ can mitigate the negative effects of losing the man who created you, loves you, who would lay down his life for you.

Fatherless boys do not gain an appreciation of the role of a father. Kicking a ball round a park, fishing, walking on the beach or visiting a museum is hardly the same thing as the absolute commitment of fatherhood.

Fatherless girls also miss out on an appreciation of the role of a man as a father- and an appreciation of the role of a man as a loving, committed partner for their mother. Their subsequent choices of partner can reflect the view that men are just for sex, at best just temporary accessories to their lives.

Big Buddies are NOT available for girls because presumably it is considered unsafe for the girls to develop a friendship with a strange man. Any man with half a brain would recognize the greater dangers for the ‘big buddy’, and would avoid like the plague any such situation where allegations could result..

The organizers of the Big Buddy programs DO NOT ASK about the sexual orientation of the big buddies- presumably they would want to avoid being accused of homophobia (being afraid of homosexuals). Homosexual men are, by definition, attracted to the same sex- so why in the heck would you pair off a homosexual man with a young boy? It would be no different than pairing off a heterosexual man with a young girl. The fact that the question IS NOT ASKED is evidence that the organizers of the big buddy program are in fact afraid of homosexuals (homophobic) and the reaction they would get from the homosexual community if they did ask the big buddy candidates about their sexual orientation

The organizers of the Big Buddy programs also fail to adequately screen the mothers and the children for behavior patterns which could endanger the big buddies. It is nice conceit to see all women as angelic victims, however this ignores the facts that women commit most abuse of children, and that women have become accustomed to being able to make allegations of all sorts against men without challenge. Big buddies therefore expose themselves to the possibility of allegations of sexual acts or acts of violence against boys, against other children, against mothers.

The organizers of the Big Buddy programs have the philosophy of blaming men for all relationship issues, and even run the notorious “Anger Management” courses which prescribed by the courts as a requirement for see their children again. The organizers of the Big Buddy programs openly profess that they believe all men would benefit from such anger management programs. People from such an organizational culture are hardly likely to be supportive of a big buddy who became the victim of such an allegation. No doubt this is the reason why they do not see fit to take any precautions to safeguard the safety and liberty of their big buddy participants.

It is necessary to illustrate what happens when an allegation is made. An allegation is usually made by an adult, to a social worker, who then involves the police. The child is then taken away and interviewed in the police video evidence suite. A team of social workers work over the child to attempt to gain the child’s trust, and to elicit the required ‘DISCLOSURES’ to support the allegations. Leading questions are the norm, the child will be asked questions such as “When did he do (this) or (that),” and “He is a bad man isn’t he” attempting to persuade the child to agree to the story that has been pre-written. The unfortunate victim of this conspiracy, the accused man, will probably be advised by his lawyer to plead guilty, because of the requirement to prove innocence, and to hope for a minimal sentence. The sentence will include mandatory attendance at suitable indoctrination courses held for men like him. After the almost inevitable conviction, the unfortunate man may find that his circle of friends, his family, and his employment opportunities have shrunk markedly, he may even get beaten up by the odd righteous thug. Hopefully he will avoid any prison time, because prisoners tend to be a little rough on convicted kiddy-fiddlers.

The Big Buddy program fails its initial premise that “a good male role model” will substitute for a father, and ensure that boys grow up to be good men.
The Big Buddy program fails girls who especially need their fathers in their lives to grow up to be good women.
The Big Buddy program offers nothing to the children who do not have a mother or female role model in their lives
The Big Buddy program puts boys at risk from homosexual child predators
The Big Buddy program puts big buddies at grave risk of having their lives destroyed by false allegations made against them, just the same as so many good fathers have had their lives ruined.
The ‘Big Buddy” program is fatally flawed by being associated with the organization which places so little value on men and fathers that it can with a clear conscience be a money making part of the father-removal industry.