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Cheap Trick or Courtesy – Families Commission

The Families Commission cancelled a meeting with a group of loudmouthed, somewhat poor, self-opinionated fathers.

Having taken the decision about one week prior, they notified these fathers, as they tried to walk into the Families Commission building in Wellington.

If we look at the constructiveness of the Families Commission action, we can see that if they had given earlier notice of their desire to stand up, they would have saved these somewhat poor fathers the costs of travel and taking time off work.

A different word from constructiveness is courtesy!

It looks like the story of a father travelling at his own cost, with theatre tickets in his pocket, to pick up his children for a weekend. The children are not available, he is told. The theatre tickets are not a total loss, as one can still be used – but the father is obliged to wait for pickup, just in case they arrive late – even the last theatre ticket is wasted too.

My own experience.
Many other men’s experiences.

The work to earn these theatre tickets also included income tax and [spousal and] child support. Much more than just the cost of the ticket itself.

Whenever such wasted resources situations come to the notice of familycaught “judges”, they tut tut tut and proceed to do absolutely nothing about it. There is one published judgement, where the judge did take positive action, to apply consequences to encourage the custodial parent [oops – we aren’t meant to say that after Care Of Children Act 2004 – but these words do reflect what goes on in the dated dusty minds of these “judges”] to act constructively.

Actions speak louder than words!

The Families Commission Chief Executive has said that Jim Bagnall’s leaflets are damaging to young adults. As these leaflets haven’t even reached printers yet, I cannot see how Paul Curry is in a position to form a reliable judgement. How could a leaflet, truthful or even wrong, damage young adults?

From TVNZ/NZPA website:

Curry said the leaflet was anti-family and an attack on the well-being of young men in their formative years, with claims about society problems stemming from homes without fathers.
“The leaflet itself, we weren’t worried about – it was the tactic of handing it to boys outside schools,” he said.
“We don’t believe in targeting young boys with negative attitudes.”

The Families Commission has shown clearly how well it understands getting its facts right, before making judgement!

It has also shown clearly its approach to building working relationships.

Paul Curry, the Chief Executive claimed on National Radio 23rd July 2009, that he understands what these fathers were complaining about. I am not sure whether he is deliberately lying or simply self-deluded. Either way, I cannot see that this incident shows him up as a person fit to spend Government salary on?

Paul Curry could learn, if he listened to his own criticisms…

The Families Commission (as judged from it’s publications) is interested in middle NZ parenting. It doesn’t seem to show any research interest in the darker margins, where parenting skills are patchy, mothers and fathers both frustrated with their lives/relationships and children are sometimes injured or killed. Personality disorders breed personality disorders.

The Families Commission publishes coffee table books, easy to read with no content that is politically hard to digest. It carefully casts its glance, where politicians are happy to go and aren’t subject to risk.

This looks like just a political sop, to a 3% party, now down to even less. $5 million a year – for what value, to whom?

If the Families Commission will not aim higher, then it might be a good place to start with lots and lots of Government spending cuts. I am sure that even CYFs could make better use of this money. There is a need for a Families Commission, but one that delivers value, for those that need it the most.

The fathers need to get their act together too. Just one read of “How to Win Friends and Influence People” might do wonders for their relationship building skills. Hell, this book is now over 100 years old. There are even copies in NZ libraries.

When will they get around to reading it?

MurrayBacon the frenzied conflicted deranged axe-murderer.