MENZ Issues

Why did your man get violent?

It will be a real interesting day when a woman runs a course of what women do wrong.

I work as a men’s behavioural change practitioner.

In the group, we talk about how it’s the ‘pattern of coercive control’ rather than the violence itself that actually causes the most damage to women’s lives, and it’s important to us to get participants to take that really seriously. Instead of allowing them to focus on a singular incident and its smokescreens (for example, ‘she was provoking me’, ‘I’d had too much to drink’, ‘I’m just really stressed’), we aim to restructure what it means when we talk about domestic or family violence – that it’s actually about a spectrum of abuse that’s occurred, with the physical violence itself being only a small part of that. It’s about looking at the root behaviour rather than just the surface visibility.