Farm managers usually work very hard, long hours with little time off. This farm manager appears to have been no exception but while he was working, his wife was off fucking the farm owner. No doubt her self-centred sense of entitlement was offended when her husband didn’t spend enough time with her, and/or perhaps she saw an opportunity to exploit a new, wealthier male who already owned a farm. When the manager found out he left his wife and the job, and he is now planning legal action against the employer for constructive dismissal, arguing that the employer forced the manager out of his job by breaching fidelity and trust and thereby making the employment relationship untenable.
We at MoMA have previously called for marital infidelity to be made illegal. Many others contributing here at MENZ disagreed strongly but we have seen no good arguments to change our view. We are legally obliged to contain and/or redirect our angry feelings away from violent behaviour and a similar expectation would be reasonable requiring us to contain and/or redirect our sexual urges away from unfaithful behaviour. Moreover, this farm manager’s wife should be publicly named to warn the community against trusting her promises and to make any future potential husband aware of the risks he is taking.
Breaching marital or relationship commitments through sexual infidelity causes trauma and harmful effects that are hard to beat, often as serious as for any form of violence. It’s common for victims to experience post-traumatic symptoms such as debilitating flashbacks to the scene in which they discovered a partner’s unfaithfulness. Victims can develop mental illness, abuse alcohol and/or other drugs, experience accidents due to anxiety and poor concentration, and become unable to maintain their jobs. Suicide risk is increased dramatically and many suicides result directly from relationship infidelity. A good proportion of homicides and other violence is also associated with infidelity. Indeed, intimate partner violence is unlikely to reduce much until we become clearer about honouring relationship contracts and until we have some official redress when the partners we have invested our life and resources into trash our trust. Fucking someone outside your committed relationship usually also places your committed partner at risk of sexually transmitted diseases.
It may be that sexual infidelity is better handled through contract law rather than criminal or misdemeanour law. Infidelity used to be censured by our Courts, having been a ground for divorce and taken into account in any division of assets and even in child custody decisions. No-fault divorce and relationship property division was then introduced, perhaps with good intentions such as keeping lawyers’ fingers out of the pie, but the baby was thrown out with the bathwater. Now our Courts will actively defend the rights of partners, especially women, to be sexually unfaithful and will readily punish any man who dares to express his feelings after he has been cheated on.
We encourage this farm manager in his legal action. Employment Courts frequently award compensation for emotional harm and fucking someone’s wife or husband behind their spouse’s back will almost always cause emotional harm in great proportion. We would celebrate this initial way of recognizing the unacceptability and harmfulness of sexual infidelity.