MENZ Issues

Is it worth the fight? Updating a parenting plan to reflect actually time in care

Hello All, quick bit of background. I’m the father of a 4.5 y/o girl living in AKL and have been separated from her mother since just after birth. I went through the Family Court back then to get regular visitation as the mother would not allow it. She went as far as accusing me of beating her to try and stop me getting access, fortunately her lies were rather transparent. In the end a judge ruled that i got 1.5 hrs on a Tuesday and Thursday after work and 10-3 on a Sunday. She also has a 9 y/o daughter from a previous relationship whose father isn’t around (she got a protection order on him and he was only allowed supervised visits which didn’t last long).

Fast forward a year and I have my daughter every weekend and a Wednesday night as my ex is either working or wanting to go out ect but always on her terms and a constant threat of going back to the parenting order if i didn’t do what she wanted like having her older daughter for the weekend also…. Over the next 1.5 years she went from hating me to wanting to get back together and everything in between. Has brought 4 new boyfriends into fold for it only to last a couple months then they move out. I learnt not to engage with her and concentrated on raising my daughter the best i could. She has an awesome relationship with me and my family and so does her older daughter (calls by parents Nana and Grandpa and i even get a Dad from time to time). Then earlier this year came the accusations of meth use from her family, a home invasion at her house (thankfully my daughter was with me) and even more hostility towards me than normal.

This time round has been a true test. CYFS won’t act on any of the above, the Police said there is little they can do and her family backed out of intervening and getting her to rehab and removing the kids. She has thrown punches at me but again no one will act on it. Lawyers advised me against lodging a without notice application due to no actual evidence of drug use and the likely hood of a judge sending it back to mediation. So I went the mediation route which i had hoped would at the very least end up with our 2 year plus arrangement becoming the new parenting plan. How wrong was I…..

She went into mediation wanting one thing only and that was for my visitation to be every second weekend. No chance of any compromise, she said from the outset that that was all she would agree to.

So here I am, unsure of my next step. She made a comment about my daughter telling her i kick her which is complete rubbish but obviously a warning of the tactics she will use should i carry on to court.

Has anyone had there visitation cut when trying to get what you have acknowledged?

Is there such a thing as the status quo when dealing with a fathers visitation?

Any ideas or thoughts on my situation would be appreciated.