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Family Court Costs

I need some reliable info. I have been crippled for the last year in custody hearings at the FC and my bet is Iโ€™m going to come second again! My predicament is that the is to be a final hearing next month and while I am entitled to legal aid I donโ€™t use it as it is merely a loan. My question is this โ€“ is there a way for me to bail out before the hearing and avoid paying costs? You see it looks like my ex-wife will ask for costs through her lawyer, so to add insult to injury, I will have to pay for her lawyer, while not being able to afford one of my one โ€“ they call that justice! It seems pathetic to me that she has stolen my kids, my health and my job and now intends to cripple me financially. I have a cylinder of helium close by just in case the mood takes me to finish it for good. Wishing you all a very good evening. ๐Ÿ™‚