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I’m not a person for relationship advice, I’m a bad example.
The video is a parody of me, I’m celibate and sleep on the couch.
If I followed the video it would be over, me single and homeless.
In truth my partner needs the sympathy, she puts up with me.
The video has a moment, it’s the start of the ending.
He asks what’s wrong, but she doesn’t tell him.
If she was truthful about things, maybe he could have understood.
But she in effect started a lie, there was a problem to tell him about.
For better or worse, seems to have limitations in the video.
Certainly he tried to be better, things getting worse was her.
The sex looks predatory, and the money looks parasitic.
The ending is sad to me, it’s a story of good becoming bad.
Comment by DJ Ward — Sat 30th November 2024 @ 10:26 pm
It’s a strange phenomena, men paying for sex in some way.
Desire for sex is a huge flaw, men do remarkably stupid things.
Speaking from experience, I have a long list of bad decisions.
My wallet emptied to many times, it’s just not worth the price.
Fine for an old man to say, impossible for the young man.
My desire for sex was like a curse, desire can make you go mad.
If there was no desire for sex, would there be any relationships.
Men never risking being robbed blind, never paying for sex.
If feminism won’t give sex, what other thing will men pay for.
Comment by DJ Ward — Tue 3rd December 2024 @ 10:11 pm
It’s very difficult for men to initiate divorce, only 30% of divorces are initiated by men. It’s also extremely risky leaving an unhappy or abusive relationship, in knowledge that initiation of the end is more often not the beginning of the end but sadly more often than not the beginning of the beginning as blow back can be horrific, a cascade of reactive vengeance that can persist for years, enveloping not only the man who is trying to end an unhappy relationship but also any shared children. It takes real courage and big stones for a man to escape a toxic relationship, the avenues for vengeance are a clear and present risk that need to be weighed up. Jim in the story was fortunate the circumstances gave him a window out. I feel many men loose agency to exit unhealthy relationships paralysed by fear of the blowback of a woman scorned. I think this is reflected in the numbers 30/70 of which genders initiate divorce, the potential risks are higher for men, whereas laws and norms both support and protect women disproportionately in practice. Those are my thoughts that came to mind from this little story.
Comment by Jim — Thu 5th December 2024 @ 12:47 am
Rates for divorce may be gendered, not the environment.
Because feminism supports divorce, all the husbands were bad.
If the 30/70 statistic says anything, every 3 bad women is 7 bad men.
Maybe even the men that divorce, leave for bad reasons.
Whatever is happening, it’s the man’s fault 100% of the time.
If rates for divorce is the environment, you can certainly claim things.
Women get a free new husband, the government will support them.
They get the children as culture, custody for men is uncommon.
Worse if there is conflict, the police are far from men friendly.
Seven women go to something better, for every three men divorcing.
More interesting is regret, what gender wishes they did not divorce.
That would expose good reasons, life got better with a divorce.
Fewer men think divorce will be good, but the relationship was still bad.
Why is the woman divorcing, without bias it should be 50/50.
The woman not harmed by divorce, the man not harmed by divorce.
Comment by DJ Ward — Thu 5th December 2024 @ 9:08 pm
I feel that men are more likely to endure an unhappy and unhealthy marriage or partnership for fear of loosing there children, this is not ideal as it increases the likelihood of further unhealthy behaviours such as DV ( from both genders toward the other ). The consequences of divorce are disproportionately more punitive on men than woman in todays legal environment, when considering family court , welfare and tax law’s holistically. I think these practical realities are anticipated by men and contribute to the disparity in gender statistics of initiation of divorce
Comment by Jim — Sat 7th December 2024 @ 10:09 am