MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

Dead Men Don’t Talk – Wounded Soldiers Tell the Story.

Filed under: General — Downunder @ 10:25 am Thu 7th July 2005

We know that familial separations raise many emotions worries and tensions, and in many cases there is a breaking point. For a west Auckland man arriving home from work in those early days of separation a letter in the mail box was the straw that would break the camels back. More so the content than the letter itself for it signified to him the replacement of his duty to his family with an obligation to the state.

What may have happened within the mind of this man between the time he received his indictment to the time he undertook to end his life may be an experience that he fears to recall and share with others, as is the case with many wounded soldiers who take their untold stories to the grave.

Around eleven pm that night a few short hours later he walked from the remnants of his family home, down to the local railway line, his choice of self imposed execution. Unable to give consideration to the desperate thoughts of an engine driver locked into the unavoidable his only want was for the train to do its job. What came down the line that night was not the screech of breaks and a death wish, but the shuffle of feet and a youthful expression.
“Hey mister, you should come back in the morning, cause the next trains not till 6 o‘clock.”

It is an unusual but true story and perhaps the narrow gateway through which some return by default. Such stories however will remain untold without men of courage and writers of integrity and determination.

Bevan Berg (Union of Fathers)


  1. Know the feeling well.

    Only a promise to a very good friend stood between my situation and children left with no father.

    Comment by Sparx — Fri 8th July 2005 @ 5:45 pm

  2. The Liable parent contribution is the most pernicious piece of legislation ever. For a start it is administered by the Tax dept and if you fail to keep up with their demands you get hammered with interest rates that would make the Mafia Blush. Nor can you offset their demands with money that you put into your children yourself. You have no say in how the money they suck from you is spent and your ability to contribute to your childrens upbringing in ways you deem appropriate is reduced, in my case it is now zero.

    When my children were taken to another town against my will but paid for with money taken from my bank account I moved to be close to them, losing my livlihood in the process. However since I had been a high income earner I was assessed on that income (even tho at the time of my assessment my income was zero). I went thru the appeals process, (no lawyer or advocate allowed) and was interviewed by a Feminist Family court lawyer who did nothing to hide her hostility toward me. My ex wife was interviewed by the same woman after I had been put thru the wringer. Net result I owed thousands of dollars (despite having no income).

    Suicide seems a sensible option

    Comment by andy — Tue 12th July 2005 @ 4:45 pm

  3. Andy,

    We ( do advocacy and support work in the Child Support arena.

    Either drop me a note via email ([email protected]) with a short description of your situation and major issue(s) or leave another note here with some extra contact information.

    We will endeavour to assist you with the Child Support issues.

    Comment by Mark Shipman — Tue 12th July 2005 @ 5:59 pm

  4. speaking of West Auckland,I see in the Herald a ms Helen Jones from waves is involved in training staff at social develope ministry to identify victims of DV,I advise extreme caution to anyone having any dealings with this woman or any person created in her mould.She is both duplicitous and disingenuous and is not above using mendacity and prevarication when presenting evidence to the court.Just another disgruntled male been shafted by the court of family destruction I hear you say,well yes and no,I was shafted by the court but i gave as good as I got and I never capitulated and my son and I are well over it and have been living life to the max since our ordeal ended.No my masculine friends,my info comes from dare I say it WIMMIN and 3 quite reputable family lawyers.Ms Jones perspective is slanted in the extreme,probably by the violence she sees on a daily basis perpetrated by the few arsehole males who taint the rest of us,but this is no excuse for the sub standard professionalism evident in the performance of her tax payer funded employment.

    Comment by Rex Howie — Fri 15th July 2005 @ 11:59 am

  5. Latest estimates of homeless military vets in the #US is around 60,000.

    That’s a high price for men to pay to meet the financial hunger of the Feminist doctrines that invaded the land of the free man.

    Comment by Evan Myers — Sat 10th February 2018 @ 12:18 pm

  6. The emotive issue to this post is obviously suicide however I should point out that background issue which may not be so obvious is immigration.

    Men who came to NZ from different cultures with a ‘housewife’ rather than a career wife were often the targets of Feminist groups who disagreed with any cultural conflicts to their ideology.

    In this case the mother and children disappeared from the house in some form of prearranged situation which obviously included arrangements for the DPB.

    The interval between the removal of the family from the rented home and the receipt of the child support demand was a matter of days.

    Comment by Bevan Berg — Sat 10th February 2018 @ 2:28 pm

  7. That was way too sad for a saturday morning read,, gotta go walk in the sun a minute.

    Comment by mama — Sat 6th October 2018 @ 10:56 am

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