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MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

Tue 19th January 2021

Kidz Need Dadz growing

Filed under: General — Brendon Smith @ 10:46 pm

Lots of positive, active dad support still happens here? Great! 🙂
Long live the inter – web? Imagine a DadzKare office, a Group?

In Onehunga every Wednesday, a bunch of actual Dads gather, in Tauranga and Raumati, Wellington on Tuesdays
7-9pm, any Dad issues, all welcome, bringers of cookies – double welcome!

Kidz Need Dadz are also looking for DadzKare Support Workers, part time in Auckland and Christchurch, possibly Whangarei, Hamilton and Dunedin.

The pay is poor, but the team is great, the resources developing, our website relies on our predecessor as we share our support for Dads at all stages and know,  half the dads who find us say, ” if only I had known! “

Part time, paid DadzKare Support Workers or Navigators, coordinators, lots of volunteers,
together, share, learn, prevent, survive, peer support and DadzKare groups, all over NZ.

Try 0800563123 almost anytime or email [email protected]

Thu 14th January 2021

He wrote: ‘Parental Alienation is devastating. I loved my children as much as a husband and father could. I see no light’

Filed under: General — Lukenz @ 2:34 am

This is what a real bloodstained suicide note from a man who experienced the Family Court looks like.

Before he killed himself he wrote: “FAMILY LAW NEEDS REFORM”. I recommend mandated lower costs and less reward for false claims of abuse. Parental Alienation is devastating. I loved my children as much as a husband and father could. I see no light. Recommend; an authority consistent during high conflict separations: It is exploited in family law.

“Sorry Dad and Angie. I’m very sorry.”

He was 45 years old when he died. He had 2 children.

His bank accounts were locked, he lost his home, his vehicle, his business.

You emasculate a man and take away his ability to provide … he’s a human being. He has limits and the Judge crossed them.

The children want their dad back. The public opinion and liability for male suicide is growing.

Thu 17th December 2020

Why has the NZ government given the power to family court judges to cause mental health and the suicide of hundreds of kiwi dads?

Filed under: General — Lukenz @ 11:57 pm

Why has the New Zealand government given the power to family court judges to cause mental health and the suicide of hundreds of dads in New Zealand? And why is it that no one in the New Zealand government wants to pick up the mantle for male problems like this one? Are they fearful of the backlash and political future? I look up to people like Pauline Hanson who has put herself on the line for all the male suicides in their country. Pauline’s future is strengthened by her stance as I’m sure our own ministers would be if they open up the shame of our own appalling male suicide figures.

The children of these dead fathers want answers. The liability for male suicide is growing.

Jacinda Ardern – All I ask is to break the cycle of male suicide in New Zealand. Be the world leader of reform and stop the shameful bureaucratic nonsense and end the slaughter.

The next clip can only be viewed on youtube and not in a window here. It lays blame 270 men a year commit suicide at the hands of the Family court and the collection agencies.


And for all those twits who would gleefully point out the clips were of our Australian cousins….. the New Zealand system practically mirrors just that. The only difference is we do not have collection agencies taking a commission (reward money) and the Australians Parliamentarians are on to it.

Wed 9th December 2020

Parental alienation examples required.

Filed under: General — Lukenz @ 12:08 am
I urgently need examples of parental alienation. Higher court examples if that is possible. Something a Family court would have to compare and follow.

Experiences with this could be helpful too.
Thu 19th November 2020

Allegations of Corrupt Family Court Judges

Filed under: General — Lukenz @ 12:51 pm

Building further on my past 2 posts.

One mans fight to see his son. It has taken 14 years so far and counting.

He claims the mother lied.

He calls out Judge Timothy Hindmarsh Druce for perjury and acting legally. He further calls out Judge David Burns and how has his verdicts have been overturned six times by a high court Judge.

The Judges did all they could to ruin a good hard-working mans right to see his son.

His son was desperate to see his dad. His son recorded his mothers partners Mr Brian Raymond Wood violence and abuse towards him. (see it in the video).

When will mainline media pick up on this crap? 60 Minutes, please help these children.

There will be a time when history will reveal just what the New Zealand family court Judges are doing and it will be there for all to read.

There will be a time when the Government will have to compensate the real victims. And what is a going rate for a dad who committed suicide at the hand a corrupt family court judge?

Sun 20th September 2020

Request 4 your ‘time’, ‘support’ & ‘wisdom’

Filed under: General — Julie @ 2:11 pm

It’s been a while since I posted here …. or anywhere, for that matter. And I need to overcome this hurdle quickly, because I’m venturing into an online magazine dedicated to ‘Empowering Single Parents & their Families’, both dads and mums. (btw, your input is valued and desired)

Something is blocking my willingness to expose corruption and abuse of power while I’m highly motivated using anger and rage (considered dark energy by Jim Bagnall that’s formed during interventions (I.e:, CYFS, Family Court)) heightened when dealing with corrupt interventionists who abuse their power.

(Btw,I have wondered if you saw my dealings with Police 10/7). That was before I learned to manage the ‘dark energy’ that simply appears when dealing with new interventions similar to CYFS and their corrupt,power abusing, destructive, interventionists.

I do visit and write posts while preferring to use office word, 🙂 so you can’t read the embarrassing drafts.

But THEN…. grrr, shoot, bummer….
I’m stuck….
I can’t post…

Instead I save the post, hide it away, and leave.. only to return when once again, angered or enraged.

I think perhaps, I am affected by expected consequences and empathy whilst I’m in a ‘priviledged’ position having the best of information and knowledge.

I am also sad and sorry for attacking Sue Bradford which may be the last post I wrote. As I become wiser, I understand things much clearer. Was she placed in a bad position as was Peter Dunne from United Future (given the CS portfolio when wanting to empower families, especially nuclear families)?

Have you ever experienced what I am dealing with? Do have some advice to share?

Sat 12th September 2020

Family lawyer exposes the domestic violence racket corrupting our courts

Filed under: General — Lukenz @ 10:34 pm

Building on my last post a family court lawyer exposes the domestic violence racket corrupting courts.

Tue 8th September 2020

Ex Senior Police Officer Exposes Domestic Violence Order Racket

Filed under: General — Lukenz @ 11:03 am

A system which gives women the right to make allegations of violence with absolutely no evidence which is then used to destroy men’s lives.
I agree with the importance of protecting women from violent men. However without notice orders has become is now corrupting our judicial system every week.

Bettina Arndt hears from people who are outraged what’s happening here. It includes from the police force who are required to enforce laws they know are grossly unfair by fabricated stories which place offices who are then required to take as factual evidenced to remove men from their homes and denied in contact with their children.

Your stories please.

Thu 27th August 2020

Did you experience no access to your children during Covid 19 even though you should have?

Filed under: General — Lukenz @ 7:23 am
We are all used to rules. They are important to safeguard everyone. No one wants to spread the virus. And I am convinced lockdown saved lives and we are all better for it.

That being said there were provisions made for shared bubbles. You had to be family and you had to live in the same health zone.

But what do you do when your recent ex flatly refused to acknowledge the provisions and deny access to you kid under the caveat of lockdown. Is it just another lawyers fee? Say $300 for a letter. A few thousand to appear in court if the letter isn’t responded to. And is there a way in which costs can be claimed? And lets just say you do not have the extra money because you are paying for your ex and her lifestyle and trying to keep a roof over your head with the odd meal of noodles. What then?

And whats the point anyway? The courts were closed and only listened to urgent hearings. And is the abuse of a man and his childrens rights important enough to claim urgent?

I hear a lot about violence. Emotional abuse. It seems to not apply when a mans access and his children are abused.

What happened to you?

Was it to expensive?

Or did you give up? Burnt off from fees?

Your opinions and stories please.
Sat 22nd August 2020

Courts right to decide paternity

Filed under: General — Rapopi @ 12:01 pm
As per the current family court policies it can be decided by the court to place paternal responsibilities on a father without proving paternity in many situations.

Studies also show that as many as 1 in 10 fathers are not biologically the fathers of their children and can end up raising and paying child support for a child that is not theirs.
It is suggested that if there is a chance of children being someone else’s in cases where cheating is suspected being as high as 30%.

It’s suggested that all fathers get a paternity test done in order to insure your position and legal responsibilities before you could possibly end up with a lifetime of responsibility to children who might not be yours.

Courts right to choose paternity

Better Bachelor discussing fake paternities and false paternities
Thu 2nd July 2020

Mans Lawyer Ordered To Pay Ex Wife Half A Million + Costs When Trust Failed To Protect His Assets

Filed under: General — Lukenz @ 11:28 am

Firstly I am not a lawyer. If you need advice on trusts go to a lawyer who specialises in trusts. Large legal firms have specialists in each field.

From what I understand.

1. Man goes to legal firm to get advice on how to protect his assets. i.e. his home.

2. Legal firm draws up trust. Put home in trust.

3. Ex wife takes him to court for half his trusts house.

4. Man adds his legal firm as a third party at the hearing.

5. Ex Wife wins however legal firm has to pay directly ex wifes what the man loss. i,e, half a million. Plus legal costs.

News Story here

Law fuel review here

Ruling PDF Here

Tue 26th May 2020

The new ‘F’ word in Town…

Filed under: General — mama @ 1:08 pm

I have already heard it said by the new National Party Leader Todd Muller,,, it is the word FAMILY.

There is a strength in that word alone.

I was just watching old footage of the 1978 Election campaign, it was kinda pleasing seeing the senses of humour and the banter between the leaders of parties and their comfortable connection with the public and a seemingly respectful relationship with journalist and the media, .. but it struck me how enjoyably engaged the public seemed,, a whole bunch of NZers’, from old to young, being just as individual as they like , comfortable together, enjoying the politics and very much feeling a part of it, a big part of it.
I know these were a bunch of NZers’ who were as we were back then, a people who have come from good values, albeit they considered conservative, but these times allowed for the individual just fine, underlying this feel good time was the very thing that we all not only had in common but what was a large driving force of New Zealand, it was the FAMILY…the family extended to the community for many of us as we grew in small towns all over lil’ Ol’ NZ. That is when it struck me, like..I had never considered it before, the fact that what was missing in the very people growing up here for the last almost two generations, the lack of strength, commitment and values of old was the lack of FAMILY.

Excuse me though, I don’t want to generalise about the young kids, they have had many burdens, technology being a biggie, I do know many that do not have what I had, a normal Family, you know the kind that has a Father in it,, It would be great to think that one day that ‘F’ word could be in vogue…FATHER the new ‘F’ word.

Thu 21st May 2020

Sexual assault at NZ universities

Filed under: Gender Politics,General,Sex Abuse / CYF — Sam Butler @ 12:51 pm
I’ve recently come across this Australian study of sexual harassment and assault on Aussie campuses:

Though it’s been reported under headlines claiming it shows ‘widespread’ harassment and assault, it’s worth noting two things.

One is that the definition of harassment is very broad, including ‘inappropriate leering or staring, sexually suggestive comments or jokes, and intrusive questions about someone’s private life or physical appearance.’ And in fact, these were the most common forms of ‘harassment’ that were reported.

The second point is that only 1.6% of respondents reported sexual assault in a university environment. Obviously that’s just allegations that haven’t been proven, but even so it contradicts the official narrative that universities are more dangerous in terms of sexual assault than other contexts.

At Vic uni there’s long been a campaign called ‘Thursdays in Black’ to get students and staff to wear dark clothing in mourning for the supposedly high rates of assault. I haven’t seen a NZ study similar to the Aussie one yet (and would like to), but it looks likely the idea that NZ unis have an epidemic of sexual assault is as false as it is in Australia.

Sat 14th March 2020

NZ Menz Summit 2020

Filed under: Events,Gender Politics,General,Law & Courts — Ministry of Men's Affairs @ 9:21 am

The 2020 Men’s Summit is planned to be held on Friday 3rd July in Hamilton at the Glenview Club, 211 Peacocks Road, Hamilton, NZ. It had been planned for April but organizers don’t want to contribute to any possible spreading of the SARS-CoV-2 virus that causes COVID 19 disease. Also, international speakers would be unable to come given the quarantine restrictions now in place. Hopefully, by July matters will have progressed to allow Summit 2020 to go ahead. For more information see

Wed 26th February 2020

Imperative reading if you intend to live with a partner for 3 yrs +

Filed under: General — triassic @ 2:38 pm

Property Relationship Act
(How to make theft legal)

You won’t get this from a lawyer


how to proceed with my case ?

Filed under: General,Law & Courts — kidless dad @ 2:17 pm

this started off with a without notice application based on violence and drug use also citing child neglect and untidy living conditions (majorly played up for maximum effect) i held onto my daughter for a week over our informal arrangements due to being threatened to never see her again, police did an uplift after an incident where the mother tried to take my daughter by force, i am currently on supervised visits with my daughter 2 hours weekly (other excluded because not biological for added psychological abuse). i have proof of all lies told on initial affidavit including the said violence and drug use also child neglect wasn’t even worth mentioning because its total bs . The mother has failed her drug test and returned a massive reading for marijuana, OT have made a report and say they have no concerns about having my daughters in my care. i passed mine with no drugs, i have started a parenting program and completed pts course . We have a directions hearing in a week or 2 the mother hasnt complied with any conditions on the parenting order and i have done everything but i am not sure my lawyer is acting in my interests as she seems rather lack luster about the outcomes ahead . Can anyone shine a light on this dark situation. Please and Thank you

Mon 24th February 2020

Family Trusts to protect your house against gold diggers

Filed under: General — Lukenz @ 1:04 am

New story here.

Top NZ lawyer closed his family trust and others should follow suit

I am not a lawyer so correct me if I am mistaken.

A friend of mine has a prenup also called a contracting out agreement and a family trust which both have failed.

There is an abundance of newer case law that now says you can not use a trust to protect yourself against a gold digger. They use words like diversion of matrimonial income, the prenup circumstances have now changed, it was so long ago. There is now children, even if they were not yours and the gold digger can remain in the house and you the settler of the trust has to leave. And if you don’t we will put a protection order against you as you have to leave.

There is a new Trust law that is due to come out that will catch up with case law and it will include making running a trust more expensive and time consuming. However in the mean time case law is in play and has now effectively finished off just about all of the protection a family trust had.

Any ideas on how to protect your stuff?

Maybe no partner, girlfriend beyond 6 months? Or not at all. Maybe owned by a company in the Cayman islands. Maybe live in Australia or some other place that does not step on property owners rights.

Tue 18th February 2020

Back to the Future

Filed under: General — mama @ 3:35 pm

I spied an advertisement

I am not sure as to what exactly it meant

a job vacancy for support/caregiver work

but implying that Women need only apply

I supposed that possibly their clients were mainly women..??

Do they not need strength to lift and support, to sing, to charm, kindness and great knowledge and interests in social sense, If a Guy were to apply for this job, what would the problem be?

Please someone tell me if I am wrong but is it not discriminative to state that a job is best suited to a female, I actually thought it was made law long ago.

Fri 7th February 2020

Self Representation Workshop – February 29

Filed under: General — mama @ 9:42 am

This workshop is designed for parents who have been left with no other option but to self-represent in family court.
About this Event
Family court is not for the faint of heart. Whether you are applying for custody or defending an application, this is the workshop for you. Knowledge of the unknown makes the process a bit easier. Learn what applications you need to know about and when they are appropriate to apply for as well as learning about the legal jargon which can be a bit scary.

Our experienced team including Frank Hicks, a self-litigation specialist and senior lawyer Cheryl Simpson, will outlay the family court process and some fundamental concepts of parental disputes and family law.

They will go into the “Do’s” and “Don’ts” of family court as well as the “Expectations vs Reality”.

This workshop is based in Auckland at the Onehunga Community Centre, Maungakiekie Room. It is presented by Guardians of our Children Charitable Trust in conjunction with the Epsom Family Court Support Group.

Register here

29 Feb 11am – 3pm

Cost contribution: $30

Any questions please email [email protected]

Wed 15th January 2020

Important petition closing soon

Filed under: General — Jay Zane @ 6:35 am

G’day Menz!

We started a petition on the NZ parliament website in November 2018.

“Sanctions on parents who misuse Family Court procedures”

We have 800+ signatures so far. But we know that there are thousands of people are going through the same process.

Could you please sign and share the petition if you agree. The petition link is

Tue 24th December 2019

False MAF charge aftermath

Filed under: Domestic Violence,Gender Politics,General,Law & Courts — Rapopi @ 10:56 pm

Having spent 3 years in a relationship with someone (and having a child together) only to find that you have been accused of assault after separation can be rough.

Having met my ex-partner while working as a teacher, we fell in love very quickly. The relationship was a wirlwind of ups and downs but that’s what seemed to attract me to her. After a short while together she became pregnant and I was ecstatic that I was going to be a father.

We remained together a further 2 years until the day I discovered that she was having and affair (by stumbling upon it one faithful afternoon). I packed my belongings and left with plans of sorting out the next steps in a couple of days.

It was 2 days later when a call came to my friend flat asking me to pick something up from the police station. At the station I was arrested and told I was being charged with MAF (male assaults female). Having no time to process what was going on I was rushed into an interview room and told to make a statement. I did so, however as I did not say anything incriminating my statement was never brought to me to sign and I was told that it can’t be used as it was not signed.

After such an odd event I was also served with a protection order and told I would need to challenge it in court. I did not meet the criteria for legal aide and as a result ended up paying large amounts of lawyer fees with credit cards. I also lost access to my son and my teaching license was suspended due to The charges relating to serious concerns for child safety and school reputations.

I appeared in court with witnesses(one of which was the person she was having an affair with) and they confirmed that no physical altercation took place that night. The charges were dropped, the protection order removed and everyone involved in the legal process was pleased with the result saying I should be too.

This is where my bitterness really took hold. I had lost my career(at least in the short term), accumulated a large debt, lost access to my son for several months and have to work on reforming a bond, not to mention the stress from the previous year.
While my ex-partner suffers none of the consequences of making a false statement.

At this point I am wondering about the morality of the justice system (a system I used to believe was there to treat you as innocent until proven guilty but found the opposite to be true). I also wonder how many men are in the same position or worse as they are unable to prove their innocence?

Don’t get me wrong, believe that assault in a family relationship is wrong regardless of who the abuser is, however the events of the past year have made me doubt every accusation of abuse I have heard. A system that treats every man as an uncontrollable abuser and females as defenseless and weak is not a system that promotes female protection but is rather anti-male.

I believe that a system which treats abuse as wrong is correct, however a timeframe lasting a year is not conducive to providing justice for either party, being forced into separate legal battles doesn’t help either, men being forced into a 20 week anger management course before any verdict is delivered aides in the idea of automatic guilt (females also have this if accused of assault however only attend 6-8 week courses which provides more questions of equivalent treatment) and compensation needs to be made to those falsely accused (even better would be a public apology).

Sun 15th December 2019

Reconciliation after seperation

Filed under: Law & Courts — MarkJ @ 11:39 am

Hi all,

I was wondering if anyone has experience with reconciling with their wife after seperation – following involvement with Oranga Tamariki (now discharged) and where the Father has full custody and a parental order for the Mother’s contact?

I’m wondering where to from here and if it’s feasible from a judge and lawyer for child’s perspective. We have both done considerable work to address the concerns raised by the OT (not violence or abuse). At this stage there is a round table meeting coming up before the DC to finalize contact. It has been 2 years since this all began and we separated.

I would appreciate any advice from anyone who has been through this.

Thank you

Sat 30th November 2019

Is male suicide genocide?

Filed under: General — Lukenz @ 9:17 am

I’m going to ask you for 12 minutes of your time to view this video clip.

Erin believes males are dying from being hated and being discriminated against. She says it is a form of genocide and it is being funded by the Government.

Says the Government plays the paper trail and does not actively take any action against male suicide.

Video link here

Wed 27th November 2019

Men as victims of Intimate Partner Violence – Masters research – can you help?

Filed under: General — Allieoops @ 9:25 pm


I am currently writing a dissertation for a Master of Health Science – Violence and Trauma. My topic of research is:

Men’s experiences of help seeking as victims of intimate partner violence; is there a need for change in community agency responses and/or family friends as first responders

A rather long convoluted title at present. 🙂

In a nut shell, I am looking for men who have been victims of intimate partner violence (IPV) from their female partner, who are prepared to tell me their story and to be heard. IPV (domestic violence) encompasses all forms of violence and abuse; emotional, physical, sexual, verbal, psychological, and controlling behaviors .

I believe that men as victims of IVP is a hidden phenomenon in NZ, and I want to examine the culture behind this; why don’t men tell – what are the barriers to telling – and if they do tell, who do they tell and what happens? I believe there is an asymmetry in the focus of IPV, in data collection of male victims, in services provided for male victims, and in gendered therapeutic interventions.

I am a mature female with a social work degree, and a post grad diploma in violence and trauma. I have worked in the prison system, both male and female, and also in child protection services. I have many years of listening to people’s truths, and working in the realm of difference and diversity.

If you would like to know more about the research and would consider participating , please email me at [email protected] and I will send you an invitation, with further information.
Thank you, kind regards

Thu 21st November 2019

Important Petitions to Sign

Filed under: Law & Courts — Jay Zane @ 2:33 pm

Hey Folks, we just launched some petitions on the parliament website a couple of days ago. Could you please sign them and share them with other people ……. Much appreciated! Links below …

Petition 1 : Sanctions on parents who misuse Family Court procedures

Petition 2 : Default 50/50 shared care for children after parental relationship breakdown

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