10 Comments »

1. 

   had an admmin review done yesterday.
   the IRD lawyer Andrea jones had deliberately merged two issues in her initial report- the issue were what i raised in an earlier objection and reasons for review which involved travelling to see my child.
   She used the reason i had given in my “objections to assessment” to form the admin review report.

   When i queried this with her, she outright said there was no confusion. when i pointed it out to her, she then started evading and backpaddeling-
   i.e after she admitted that the Objections were a separate issue from an admin review.

   Comment by starR — Tue 10th October 2006 @ 1:33 pm

2. 

   Ok so I have a situation.

   I am living with this very awesome lady – we have been together 4 years. I have no kids of my own but raised two with a former partner. This lady has a daughter who is 7. She is an excellent kid. But my issue is the dad of this girl lives in the UK. he has been back to visit his daughter four times which is great. He doesn’t make any sort of financial contribution though. So I feel as though I am carrying the can for him. I am not a parent, but I feel like I am faced with a choice of watching her ma struggle alone – its not easy to stand by and wtahc that, right? But I also find that I resent doing what I consider to be his job, I guess, when he doesn’t contribute at all. I have asked my partner to ask him to contribute – something regularly, but she won’t – I am not sure why not. I think its fair enought that he makes some sort of financial contribution. I don’t know what to do. I guess I could ask him myself. Any advice?

   Comment by tommy — Tue 12th December 2006 @ 10:45 am

3. 

   Doh – meant to post this as a separate topic – didn”t mean to crash your topic sorry man

   Comment by tommy — Tue 12th December 2006 @ 10:48 am

4. 

   The man made four trips from the UK to see his daughter and his contribution as a father is further diminished by the oversight of his financial contribution. Love is not blind alone, it is accompanied by cerebral paralysis.

   Comment by Bevan Berg — Tue 12th December 2006 @ 11:54 am

5. 

   Tommy,

   There’s much to your story that needs to be answered before you make a conclusion and make demands on this man.

   You said

   but she won’t – I am not sure why not

   meaning she won’t tell you why she won’t go for child support. To me, That’s an alarm bell. And I’m not here to judge but as a member of a single parent group I can tell you that sometimes women have children against the mans wishes. Believe me when I tell you there is a reason why she hasn’t.

   But that’s cool. If she wants this child against his wishes then that’s what she wants and she NEEDS to (for herself if she is a good woman) take it as it comes.

   You seem like a good man by your actions so maybe you should just let it be because until you understand the picture you will always be on the outside. You should tell her she can trust you with telling her story that is if you are trustworthy to take the truth and still love her.

   Comment by julie — Tue 12th December 2006 @ 1:37 pm

6. 

   Sounds like this is more a relationship issue than a child support issue.

   I have asked my partner to ask him to contribute – something regularly, but she won’t – I am not sure why not

   The issue appears to be that you have a beef with your partner as she refuses to discuss the matter with the childs father.

   I think its fair enought that he makes some sort of financial contribution.

   Who knows what arrangement they have agreed to?

   Dont really think this is a child support issue that is causing the problem.

   Regards

   Scrap

   Comment by Scrap_The_CSA — Tue 12th December 2006 @ 7:35 pm

7. 

   Hi Scrap,

   I think it is cool that males come on this site for relationship help. In fact, I would really enjoy hearing what you males have to say about the issue. LOL

   Comment by julie — Tue 12th December 2006 @ 8:20 pm

8. 

   Scrap,

   Forget about the LOL in my last post because I am serious yet I used it to show a nicer side in hope you wouldn’t see it as negative. But since it is ‘Laugh out Loud’ then it is not appropriate as I am not laughing.

   Comment by julie — Tue 12th December 2006 @ 8:24 pm

9. 

   Hey Julie (and others) – yeah I guess youre right. I think that he was not planning to become a father ( but if not then why not use contraception huh?) Maybe it is more that I have a beef with her. It sticks in my craw a little though that he gets all the pats on the back for comin’ over to see her, four times in seven years, but is carrying on with his life the rest of the time, without any responsibilities or having to work in a job he hates to make enough to pay for her food and a roof over her head. he told me he doesn’t think about her when he’s not here “because it is too painful”. He stayed with us three times since we been together and the last time he didn’t even offer pay anything for being there 6 weeks in our home. I don’t even want him there, but my lady says she wouldn’t be able to explain to the little one why he can’t stay. Its making me resentful. But maybe you’all are right, maybe its just her problem. I want to do things in my life, I already brought someone else’s kids once.

   Comment by Tommy — Tue 19th December 2006 @ 11:01 am

10. 

    Hey there, im currently paying child support regulary every week out of my pay but i am also paying for half my daughters school fees, uniform, and soley paying for extra curricular activities and medical insurance. the thing is that im finding it quite hard and wondering what i can do about it?? I have appled for shared care but only have 36ish percentage of the nights…does anybody know of some solutions and also if shared care is granted does my ex money from ird or winz (not sure what she gets) get reduced?

    Comment by solo — Thu 7th May 2009 @ 8:32 pm

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