Solve this problem
This was 2 different situations for 2 similar 15 year old boys. I cannot keep it as it was because it could have an impack on the boys. But I have kept the comments. I leave this decision up to webmaster.
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Julie,
Discuss it directly with ManAlive
I have contact detials if you want but they are on this site of John-P’s
Regards – Jim
Comment by Jim Bailey — Mon 12th June 2006 @ 7:54 pm
Jim,
That’s bullshit.
Man alive costa $50 for an assessment and without the assessment there is nothing they can do. And $ per counsel.
If this was a female problem we would pay $0. Don’t you understand why I scream, “Do something for your sex”
Boys over a certain age and with a father don’t fit in with the buddy system. Even boys without a father at this age don’t fit. All I am doing is a full circle.
There is no help for these boys. They are the lost boys. There is no help for the 20 year olds. Does anyone care enough for another younger person who lives within the feminist and socialist ways.
I know i am in a bad space at the moment but i am wiiling to give a little and I want a little back. Not for me but for the younger males.
Do you want more sad stories. I have stories where the boys are beaten up by their mother’s partners and end up in CYFS care. They are on the run only to be locked up.
There is a gap in your caring. You seem only to care for the big picture of cutting the legs off the feminists that you forget that males need support besides FC shit.
Comment by julie — Mon 12th June 2006 @ 8:26 pm
Dear Julie,
Bring them over to Men’s (& Boys & Women) Centre on a Monday night.
I am sure we could collectively give them support, assistance, protection guidance, similar to what Jimmy the Bag is doing for his grandson.
Alternatively give them my contact details if they are reluctant to venture there.
We do care about our children even if they a rebellious Xbox manboys with attitude!!!!!
Kindest Regards
Paul
Comment by Paul Catton — Mon 12th June 2006 @ 9:20 pm
WOW,
Julie – that was a rave – over $50-0
I still say ManAlive be your best bet
at $200-00 – Onward – Jim
Comment by Jim Bailey — Mon 12th June 2006 @ 9:51 pm
Hi Paul,
do I bring them to North shore? Is that what you are saying? That is also Bull Shit. Are you pressuming as a single mother, I have unlimited money. And what do you give. Something more than I as a female can give. I doubt it.
You see, this is the problem.
I suppose the only hope is that your republic politition party will get into parliment and somehow change the law to bring about change for males.
Meanwhile males have to suffer until then.
Am I wrong to think that? You see, that’s my challenge. Do I care for my own children or do I care for other people’s children?
Do I care for you?
How much do you care for your son. I mean you have taken him from one country to here? Why is this so important for you to do this? Is this really about your son or is it a fight between you and the mother?
Comment by julie — Mon 12th June 2006 @ 9:59 pm
Paul C,
I don’t even want you to have to answer my challenge nor do I think myself worthy to challenge you for I am not male. I will stand back as many people say i should and watch from a distance your changes for males yet I wish the best. Every foundation comes from home as I have written other polititions. All I ask is for you to look after my son’s generation.
I knew from the beginning that I was the wrong female to be on this site and more so did many men.
I do believe in you.
julie
Comment by julie — Mon 12th June 2006 @ 10:18 pm
Julie these boys have major problems this is no time to sit around bitching about how much it cost or how we get them there. let us know where they are we can arrange to pick them up and take them to the mens centre, and you to if you feel they might like your support.Kids male or female in this position can find the pressure so intense they can do something drastic that none of us want to see or hear about.This is what the mens centre is all about helping others with family problems male or female whats best for kids.All the best Dave.L.
Comment by DAVE L — Mon 12th June 2006 @ 10:50 pm
Dear Julie,
I am not saying we can give any of these children anything different from what you can.
Perhaps it is the messenger and not the message that provides the difference.
We care for all of the children as we are supposedly a civilised responsible caring community, our own do take priority over the waifs and strays as that is our own inherent nature of protection.
Do you care for me, only you have the answer to that one.
Do I care for my son whom I have had returned here after his mother took him and his sister overseas thinking selfishly of herself.
I care about my daughter and youngest son and their two older brothers (although the middle one is totally estranged from me and hostile, my love for him hasn’t abated).
The last verified report I heard about my youngest son was him running up a street in Northland screaming “I want my daddy” while Mum was holidaying overseas in Africa with fiance.
I hear a toddler cry in a supermaket and it makes my stomach knot and my eyes well up.
I hold no animosity to the mother as I believe she has been a pawn of the system and family.
If I am wrong and she has been the orchestrator, it is pity she rquires and the system and legal advisors are even more culpable for allowing this travesty to happen.
Kindest Regards
Paul
Comment by Paul Catton — Mon 12th June 2006 @ 10:55 pm
Hi Dave L,
I am speechless. I know that I am having one of those days where you feel pressure but I did’t think anyone would care much. Yet I even recieved a personal e-mail.
If you think a male group would help these males I would appreciate your help because my own boys get upset if I care for someone elses boys. I don’t think these boys would know what hit them if another male cared to do what you are offering.
Can you e-mail me and I will give you petrol money.
[email protected]
Comment by julie — Mon 12th June 2006 @ 11:01 pm
Hi again Paul C,
My behaviour is unexcusable yet it happens when I am challenged by people whose lives are well and healthy as we wish all were.
I am sorry for challenging your situation and I do care. Sincerely Julie
Comment by julie — Mon 12th June 2006 @ 11:11 pm
Julie,
These Boys are the result of NZ Law and Social Policy damaging our Biological-FAMILIES for many generations.
LABOUR has added more damage by far in this term of theirs than any previous NZ_Govt.
The taking away of FATHERS/MEN-Tors has introduced a new generation of KIDS that have never been either Mothered (The mothers have in many cases bravely attempted Parenting and in that let go Mothering) or Fathered (The Fathers have in many cases bravely attempted Parenting and in that let go Fathering) or Grand Parented (GrandKids Stolen off one side and thus their influence)or Men-Tored (No male teachers and few sports coaches).
Dealing with the result is a long and hard process, that may take generations, for those (us) who love these Kids (Also us) ANYHOW and care for the Biological-FAMILY as a whole and very neccasary part of society, in fact foundational for healthy outcomes.
There are few that understand this in NZ as do Rex McCann and Warwick Putney. I beleive that Bill Boyd and Joe of Men-In-Change have also a good gripe on helping the New Generation Re-Build the Natural/Biological-FAMILY. Although I beleive even they are being far to leanient on male sexual devients and thus add to the confusion.
You must remember we(Me being 58-you-being 22) are part of that new and damaged generation and in that are seeing the troubles from inside, you might say the bowl.
In that we have a very clouded vision of where we are and what was/is outside the bowl.
Just how to get out of that bowl is hidden by the merk we see from inside.
One on one as some of us have the privilege of being Parents and in some cases Grand Parents is best. Preferably alongside the other Parent/Grand Parent.
BUT of course we are inside the problem, learning I hope as we go.
We adults that have had our Kids taken even for a short time are deeper in the merk as we have even greater issues to deal with and thus the merk increases.
I don’t know the answer for the boys you are concerned with but I do know you will make the problem bigger for your own boys if you don’t give them your best.
They are showing you this with the the very real and in your/their case justified emmotion of jealousy.
You have inadvertantly turned your home into a half way house without the appropriate protection for those in the home.
Go forward with causion my friend. Examine your resources and motives before losing this once in a lifetime per Child/short term gift of Mothering your own Kids.
Onward – Jim
Comment by Jim Bailey — Tue 13th June 2006 @ 7:24 am
Julie
stop loosing your cool. we all had to go through the same feelings of frustration.
The best thing the two boys can recieve at this stage is support but it won’t solve their problems which is deeply based in the biased beaurocarcy we face. I should know cos i have been through all that.
I guess part of your frustrations causing you to loose it could be due to the glimpses we get for whats awaiting our our future generation – quite possibly in your case… maybe you have boys?… who will be helpless due to the systems in place??…
Comment by starr — Tue 13th June 2006 @ 2:20 pm
Starr,
I have stopped losing my cool. I think I must have been a child that threw tantrums to get her own way and because it worked I still do it. I will use this opportunity to look at my own behavioural flaws.
Paul C,
I seem to have pick you out to pick on. I am not sure what that’s about. I have been following your story and maybe there is something about it that hits home for me.
Yours is an interesting story and I think it must be taking alot of your personal resources to deal with it.
Anyhow, what I have decided to do is say something at the meeting being held in Waitakere for ‘Youth at risk’if I can.
I am aware ‘man-alive’ is doing the best they can with thier funding and they are a well respected organisation out west.
Maybe something worth while will come from the community groups and police getting together. I will see whoever else comes then.
I will bring my own boys to your group.
They are gettng close to physically fighting each other. They have enough issues to deal with being apart and in CYFS care for so many years.
Checked out ‘republic website’. Interesting to see how many are a part of it.
Comment by julie — Wed 14th June 2006 @ 3:03 pm
Dear Julie,
Pick at me if it provides some short term relief although that is like taking an aspirin for a brain tumour.
Address the source.
If it is Systemic, see you in three weeks for Bothering.
Bring the boys on Monday (I’ll help with the fuel bill) as I will be the chairperson as per roster.
Look forward to acquainting.
Kindest Regrards
Paul
Comment by Paul Catton — Wed 14th June 2006 @ 8:25 pm
Paul C,
It is not right for me to take my frustration out on others. But thanx for being OK about it.
C U Monday
Comment by julie — Wed 14th June 2006 @ 9:42 pm