The Death of New Zealand (part 1)
Three years ago my wife kissed me goodbye as she went out for the day with our young baby. Around noon that day as I worked from my office at the front of my home I had a visit from two police officers. They presented me with a 50mm high stack of papers and advised me that they wanted my guns (I am a hunter) and I was to leave my home immediately.
I was gob smacked, without looking at the papers I asked what was going on. The officer said that my wife had been granted an ex parte protection order for both her self and our baby and an eviction order for me. She also was seeking to overthrow the prenuptial agreement we entered into 3 yrs earlier that stated my home was to remain mine. I explained that I worked from home and that I could not possibly comply with an immediate exit. They took my guns and left me alone.
I felt I had been hit on the head with a baseball bat. My hands were shaking so much I struggled to phone my lawyer. It didn’t make sense, a protection order???? My mind was struggling to conceive how this could be obtained. I loved my little baby and, working from home, saw her often during the day. I had bottle fed her, burped her and generally dotted over her. In all the years I had known my wife we had had a couple of big arguments and I had once slapped her when she was destroying my office, but this was a protection order? Isn’t that for men who are violent I asked myself!!!!
I rang a friend and they came to my place and read to me the six different orders served on me. As he read out my wife’s affidavit my head went into a spin as a story evolved of a man who had threatened to kill her, was conspiring to kill her, was raping her and attempted to suffocate her child. This man was allegedly me…..I began to vomit. Stress gripped my chest and the pain was overwhelming. I thought I was having a heart attack. I was rushed to hospital where it was discovered my mussels wouldn’t let go of food in my digestive tract. I went back home and I refused to leave that day. My Lawyer was attempting to get an urgent hearing as the eviction order was obtained illegally ( when the home is your work place you cannot be evicted) That night I could not sleep. I felt like I was in a different country, perhaps in Afghanistan under the rule of the Taliban, but not New Zealand. My house was the same but was no longer a castle and a sanctuary. How could this be happening to me? Why has my wife done this? Does she know what she has done? Will I see my daughter again? You want to call someone in authority because you know some unjust thing is in action but there is no one to call, you know you have become a pariah. The following day 2 police cars and 8 large policemen come to my home.
(to be continued)
I went thru something similar 18 months ago.
I left the house in a storm after finally acepting my wife was having an affair.
I was arrested after a few hours later after greeting a police officer at a petrol station. The intitial charge was drunk driving, but followed by several assault charges and claims that I had stated in my alleged drunken violent frenzy that i would kill myself.
At the Police station it was verified that I was stone cold sober, not drunk out of my mind as my wife had told the police. This raised suspicions, but when the Emergency Mental Health Response Team (2 women) could find nothing wrong with my mental state, the cops began to worry about the story they’d been given and the possibility of false arrest since I was never breath tested before arrest.
I then took the intiative and questioned THEM about the alleged assualt. I found the claim was that I had tried to strangle my wife twice, once on the night in question and once on the previous night.
I asked the Officers to look at my hands and face. They did. I asked if they could see any scratches or marks. They could see no marks at all.
I asked them if it woukld be reasonable to assume if I had indeed tried to strangle my wife i would have killed her , but she would probably have fought back and at least managed to scratch me somewhere.
The Police agreed I have would suffered some damge and there would have signs of a struggle in the house. There were none. There were no marks on her neck either.
I asked why my wife would have slept with me had the allegations of strangling on the previous night had been true. They could not answer.
It transpired all the money in our joint bank account had just vanished. Records showed my wife over a period of 3 years visited the supermarket or petrol station almost every day and purchased items but always took out $100 in cash. I earn $78000 a year and she worked too.
I was left with $22. The joint account held less than $2000 but I had no access to it. I later found my 5 year old sons account had been robbed as well.
My son was crying to see me for 2 months and i was in tears every day at not being be able to see my only child.
My wife didnt turn up at the Hearing for Shared Custody. She was never prosecuted for giving false information to the Police or for signing and Affavidit that was clearly false and obviouslt false to her female lawyer.
I now have Shared Custody. My son and I are having a ball. I dont pay IRD rates because my bitch agrred to a rate of $350 a month from me.
I fought. I won. My son and I went thru hell.
My 8 year old heart kid now prefers to be with me. I lost my savings…but what the hell. My boy and I are now together.
Wonder why the cops never prosecuted her?
The judge at the HeARING was a female.
Comment by Morris Lindsay — Sun 12th March 2006 @ 11:46 pm
Is this a true story or a little light hearted entertainment. This sort of thing can’t possibly happen in NZ, it only happens in COMMUNIST countries and faraway places like Russia, Bulgaria etc. Tell me it’s a bit of fiction someone.
Comment by JamesW — Mon 13th March 2006 @ 12:01 am
Hi JamesW…Welcome to Communisim! His story rings so true with my situation. I too have lost my Wife, Child and home not to mention that the Police smashed my head in in my own home without asking me my side of the story. Several witnesses have recounted how I said to the Police ” What have I done wrong” “Please stop hitting me” “I have done nothing to deserve this”.
I support this man totally with the situation and wish there was something I could do to help him.
All I can say to him is that, the pain will get easier in the upcoming weeks in this situation, you have to moove fast and think for yourself. You are NOT a criminal like the Police and your wife have implied as I know I am not. It has been the hardest time of my life the last few months, but I know if I don’t work hard now for myself, they (being her and the Police) will pull off a crime which is so readilly accepted in New Zealand. Good luck!
Comment by Jonathan — Mon 13th March 2006 @ 8:07 am
I am going through this same thing at the moment.
I kissed my wife and kids goodbye one friday morning and left for work. By 11am my (now former) wife had left the house, taking our children with her. SHe called her mother (overseas) and hit her up for plane tickets and flew out that afternoon.
I filed Hague convention proceedings the following week against her, and once she was located by the Federal Police in the country she had gone to (and was found to be living in the back room of her mothers house) she was served to attend the Family Court of that location. On her first appearance in court her Barrister stated that she had no defence under the hague convention. The judge gave her seven days to explore her options and return to the court. Naturally, after barrister shopping around until she found one who would draft what she and her mother wanted, they filed that I was an abussive husband and that I beat her regularly. Never mind, as the judge who finally ordered her and the kids back to NZ said, that there was never any history of violence in the 7 year marriage, she thought she could get away with it and a large financial compensation to boot. He ordered her back to NZ, saying that (reading between the lines) he didn’t believe her story and that there was sufficient evidence from third parties and witnesses to the contrary of what she was saying. A judge here in NZ granted me sole custody of the children with a warrant to collect them from the Police at the airport. The police boarded the plane when it landed, removed the children and off I went. The judge here stated that because none of the allegations stated that anything was done in front of the children, he could see no reason even if I was proved to have done something to her, for me not to have the children.
Naturally, several days later she tried to get Ex Parte orders to remove the children from me, now claiming that the children had seen this alleged violence. The judge refused to give her ex parte orders, stating that the violence had not happened to the children and that she would need to file for a hearing.
We go into the hearing last week and her story changed again. Now she says one of the children got slapped against a wall. Again she was proven to have purjored herself, with my barrister proving seven claims in her latest affidavit to be blatant lies, as well as the fact that several statements in her Hague Convention affidavits being the opposite of what she stated in her affidavits here.
Our counsel for Child has been extremely biased away from me and in favour of my former wife. She attacked me in my own home, and in court has showed distinct favouritism. Heck, she was even accepting questions from my frmer wife’s barrister whilst cross examining me (which I understand is a breach of some protocol or other). When waiting out the front of the court room she sits always with my wife’s barrister talking about the case, and when she is meant to meet with us at court she spends 2 or 3 minutes with me and 45 mins with my former wife. She has actively backed an option that gives my children back to my wife and limits my visits with them to 10am sat to 5pm sun. If that is an impartial voice for my children then I’d hate to see a biased one.
The Department of Justice originally said they would charge my wife with child abduction when she was sent back, and now they are sitting back and doing nothing. None of the judges, whilst seeing my wifes purjory, are proffering charges of same (or even contempt) against her. She is getting away with breaking the law left and right and my position is being constatnly eroded by what is essentially a woman-centric system. Heck, even when my wife (or her mother) seriously injured my youngest through gross negligence, nobody seemed to care. If I had done that they would have crucified me.
Note the number of men convicted for Child abduction under the hague convention, then note the same number for the women. When you see the 80% discrepancy in those numbers then maybe you will see that even with all the so-called ‘improvements’ the system still has a long way to go to become fair.
Comment by S — Mon 13th March 2006 @ 2:29 pm
S,
It sounds like you need another legal rep instead of the gorgon you describe. If you ask around, especially on this site there’s an excellent chance you’ll get someone sympathetic to your plight.
Good luck.
Comment by Stephen — Mon 13th March 2006 @ 4:34 pm
Hi Stephen
I dont think it’s my lawyers fault. She is doing the best she can in a heavily biased situation. She has at least held on to my Sole custody, but under pressure from the lawer for child I had to give 50% access to my wife (who now looks like possibly getting custody).
It’s the Lawer for Child who is the problem, and I am not sure how you go about exposing them for such things or how you make a case to have them reviewed/removed. If anyone can help I would appreciate it.
Comment by S — Mon 13th March 2006 @ 5:27 pm
Which city or town are you in?
Email me at [email protected] if need be.
Comment by Al D Rado — Mon 13th March 2006 @ 5:33 pm
AKL
Comment by S — Mon 13th March 2006 @ 6:12 pm
I’m WLG.
My lawyer (female) did well, but I lost completely.
Never had a protection order.
The ex left quietly with a few weeks warning.
Her allegations only arose as soon as I mentioned Family Court.
But she won.
I am a would-be sex offender (“no evidence” of past misdemeamers), and have all the usual emotional / controlling etc crap.
So I get the pleasure of paying someone to watch me in case i turn into a rapist, whilst I sit and entertain some little kid who doesn’t know me.
So anyone that has had ‘the works’ thrown at them gets my complete sympathy, coz I know the damage it does.
I too had sleepness nights, lost weight, went straight to a criminal lawyer, etc.
And my ex could only back up her claims in court with “I don’t know – he might have”.
If my name was Sam Morgan I’d sue her for every thing she’s got.
Comment by Al D Rado — Mon 13th March 2006 @ 6:23 pm
My situation is just as you describe. We went to court and under cross examination her story changed several times. One minute she had black eyes and bruises and cuts to the face “three times a week”… then the next minute when the Judge challenged her that all these witnesses never once saw a black eye or bruise or cut it was “he used to hit me where you couldnt see”. One minute she said I was controlling and never gave her money to spend, but when the Judge and the lawyer put before her the credit card bills showing she had spent thousnds of dollars whenever she wanted she said ” It was late night shopping and he was with me and said I could”. WHen my lawyer pointed out that I was away elsewhere at the time and was not even home she still tried to maintain that it was late night shopping and that somehow I had driven several hours to home in less than 30 mins to go shopping with her. How do women get away with these lies? My older kid is emotionally distraught at the idea of losing her dad again
Comment by S — Mon 13th March 2006 @ 7:49 pm
My sons say it would be cheaper to hire hit-men than go to court.
Comment by julie — Mon 13th March 2006 @ 7:54 pm
Do show this site to your sons, Julie.
They’ll learn far more about the realities of male life here than anywhere else.
Comment by Al D Rado — Mon 13th March 2006 @ 8:36 pm
Thanx for not be upset about our comment. The boys feel strongly that women in these stories are wrong. I thought maybe we would be barred from the site. They said, “What, we don’t give a f***.
Comment by julie — Mon 13th March 2006 @ 8:39 pm
They will when they get screwed, like we all have been …
Comment by Al D Rado — Mon 13th March 2006 @ 9:24 pm
That is not what they mean’t. They mean’t that the site should be able to accept thier comment.
They and thier friends are hearing the comments etc from this site.
At first of few of them thought this was a site for funny males but they are getting a grip of it now.
They find the stories on this particular article interesting.
We are all learning.
Comment by julie — Mon 13th March 2006 @ 9:54 pm
I’m grateful for people that share the stories of what has happened to them. I have experienced how almost like dying it is to be powerless while one’s child is taken away. For no good reason other than that she can do it. So she does.
To know that this happens so often to fathers in New Zealand does indeed feel like the death of this country.
I agree, young men and boys urgently need to be educated about how to protect themselves from the double standards and inequality towards males that holds sway. Young men should know and understand how truly disadvantaged they are.
To be honest, a few years ago I wouldn’t have beleved some of these things could happen. I have learned painfully how naive I was.
Comment by Paul — Mon 13th March 2006 @ 10:01 pm
Hi guys, my road has been similar to stories that I read. I am 52 years old and have married twice, have 5 children of my own and 6 step children and one step grand child in CYFS care.
My first wife had been claiming a DPB without my knowledge and gave it to her mother who travelled overseas frequently. Police knocked on my door one night to which I was dumb founded. She (my wife) got taken away. 3 nights later the police turned up again with my mother-in-law in the back seat with an affidavit of 13 counts of misuse.
The children were taken into the mother-in-laws care.
Fortunately, I knew a good barrister and within 3 days we were in court. He told me that the probability of winning custody of my children was 1 in 10.
During the court hearing one of the children who was only 6 weeks old was in distress outside the courthouse with my father.
I asked the judge for an adjournment to satisfy her needs. One of the accusations was that I had never changed the nappies on my children so I offered to show the judge how I could do it.
The end result of my 13 counts of neglet as a parent were dropped. My wife and mother-in-law got charged with contempt of court and I happily raised 3 children in a great environment.
The judge said that I was the only one who cared enough about our 6 week old baby to ask for time out to satisfy her needs.
My wife was given 5 months prison. She was given fortnightly access (weekends) upon her completion of prison.
I also put a protection order on the mother-in-law.
I will discuss my 2nd marriage later. I am happy to be 1 in the 10 that succeed.
Comment by Ron — Tue 14th March 2006 @ 2:49 pm
Good work Ron. It’s always good to see that there is still hope (abeit 1 in 10 chance most of the time)
Comment by Moose — Thu 16th March 2006 @ 10:37 pm
Here’s an article written by a level minded Woman which you may find relevant :
Comment by Moose — Thu 16th March 2006 @ 10:47 pm
http://www.fathermag.com/808/GenderBias.shtml
Comment by Moose — Thu 16th March 2006 @ 10:48 pm
Interesting article Moose, thanks. On the same great website I found this by Stephen Baskerville: http://www.fathermag.com/803/action
which I reckoned could just about be the most powerful thing about fathers and separation I have ever read.
Comment by Paul — Fri 17th March 2006 @ 1:06 am
Good find Paul.
I found that article “Fathers’ Rights Are Fathers’ Duties” to be quite possibly the most inspiring, powerful and best article I have read. Ever.
Comment by Moose — Fri 17th March 2006 @ 11:18 am
A large proportion of females seem to be narcissists and/or psychotic. Its a shame that the Court Judges are too.
Comment by Sane in an insane world — Wed 19th February 2014 @ 8:31 pm