Five Percenters
To all the five percenters — the rest of us have had enough! Get Over It!
Whats a Five percenter?
It’s that five percent of men who act like absolute wankers when a separation occurs.
The men, who behave as selfish, arrogant bastards
The men whom the Politicians and Officials use to justify the failing matrix of Family law
And as reason for beating up on the rest of us.
Hung up as examples why shared parenting and fair and reasonable child support is not possible
Let me give you an example of a Five percenter.
When a separation occurs its usually something that has been coming for a while. The relationship is failing, on the rocks. It’s a time of real pain, deep anguish and hurt we have all been there, we know what its like to have our dreams shattered. But we are men and we also know how to be men. We know what’s just and fair and contrary to a lot of opinion on this site a hell of a lot of women do to.
There is no dispute that the best outcomes for our kids occur when both mum and dad parent the children. The five percenters are a not interested in what’s best for the kids and I am sick of the rest of us being labeled the same.
This week has shown me a classic example of a five percenter. Mum and Dad have separated and MUM wants to share the care of the kids, Mum wants to avoid Courts and Child Support so how does the dad respond?
He wants to split the kids up, eldest with him and the younger three with mum. Then he’s going to move away to another part of the country. Of course slaging off mum and poisoning the eldest against her was the first part of the plan. Let’s not forget the ex-parte application for “interim custody” for the eldest child and not seeing the other three! Lets not forget his abusive text messages and a long list if other stupid behaviors.
Why is he doing this, starting a conflict when he could avoid it? What drives this behaviour that sentences the rest of separated parents and children to the matrix of family law?
It is simple really, at the end of the day these five percenters don’t want to share parenting they want to punish the other parent. The system loves these guys, they feed it.
They can’t cope with the reality of a failed relationship and they are not coping. They don’t understand the impact on the kids of parental alienation. They have lost sight of the kids, they make stupid decisions and do and say stupid things. They don’t engage their thinking brain; they engage their arrogant victim-hood.
Jo Blow above has the chance to share parenting, avoid child support and actually parent the children. That’s a pretty good space to be in and shows genuine effort on the part of mum. One would think that common sense could prevail but it wont.
We decry women who carry out such actions like Jo Blow is doing. The same must surely apply to men. So if you’re five percenter start thinking about how you are going to remain an equal parent in your children’s life’s because the rest of us have had enough. of you screwing it up for the rest of us.
You’re a man, act like one!
How do we change all this mess, we change the law! We put this mess on the election agenda by a plan of non violent direct action.
What we don’t do is encourage five percenters.
Regards
Scrap
Scrap
Your central points are fair enough but consider the following:
1. “Five percent” is your estimate of fathers who don’t take an opportunity to remain involved in their children’s lives in a fair way. From my experience, it’s a lot lower, perhaps point one of one percent. For a start, very few fathers are given any chance to contribute fairly because mothers are counselled by feminazis and supported by a male-exploitation system.
2. When you use the term “the couple separated” this will usually be a misleading euphemism. In most cases, one partner breaches the contract and breaks up the family against the other parent’s wishes. When fathers do this they often go to great lengths to ensure the mother and children are supported financially. In about two-thirds of cases it is the mother who busts the family. Very rarely is this justified by serious violence or abuse. The father is then usually forced, without any say in the matter, to fund the mother’s new lifestyle with payments far in excess of half of what the children would actually cost being extracted by a machine-like IRD as a free slavery management service provided to women. Those enslaved naturally do not wish to co-operate with their enslavers and will seek to become free. There is simply no other option for most men that would enable them to contribute emotionally or otherwise to their children: either accept State enslavement or get free.
3. While fathers are paying their 20 plus percent of income on which they have already paid tax they are given no credit whatsoever for the costs involved in maintaining a fathering role, e.g. the cost of maintaining a house with rooms for the children, the costs of collecting the children, feeding and entertaining them usually for one quarter to one half of the time (even the basic every second weekend and half the holidays amounts to around 90 days per year). (Also, note the double standard in the child support – better named father-removal tax – system. A good proportion of the mother’s complete lifestyle is charged to the father because it is considered necessary so the children do not suffer too much reduction from what they had before separation. However, the father cannot apply to have most of his expenses whilst housing and fathering the children taken into account because they are deemed to be voluntary and not necessary.)
3. Relationship property is divided with little regard for fairness to men who have usually earned the income and in that process have often wrecked their bodies and emotional health. This gives rise to resentment and damage to to the separated parents’ relationship, to the detriment of children. Lawyers advise “their clients” to ensure they get everything they are legally entitled to, but little regard seems to be given to maintaining goodwill between the separated parents.
4. The current system essentially does nothing to promote a separated father’s role in children’s lives, but rather brings about division and makes it difficult for fathers to contribute genuinely or in ways that are emotionally tolerable to them.
Comment by Hans Laven — Sun 22nd April 2007 @ 2:31 pm
Yes Hans,
You make perfect sense here.
Comment by Stephen — Sun 22nd April 2007 @ 2:35 pm
Hi Scrap.I agree with Stephen.I also agree with you that there are some dickheads who screw it up for us.I do not know the case you refer to; but;being generous to the guy; his ex may have poisoned the 3 young ones against him and they treat him like shit; because of mother; and he has had a guts full of trying.The eldest may be too old for her to alienate from Dad.Because of this possible total disrespect of Dad ; he has given up ; unfortunately; and wants to wash his hands of them and her and feels he should not support them.Of course ,as he gets older, he may drift back to the young ones as his anger of the unfair situation wears out and they are more resistant to mothers poison.Just a thought Scrap.He; also; may be a total asshole as well.I don’t know ; but I vividly recall the anger and lacck of cooperation I felt 5 years ago; but now I just don’t care.
Comment by keith — Sun 22nd April 2007 @ 3:12 pm
I have no idea what the actual percentage of “walk-away” fathers is, but I can tell you that I had plenty of folk telling me to walk away in the initial stages of my 40 month tour of duty (to my son). I was told that it could take years; I would be lucky to see my son more than every second weekend; it would cost tens of thousands and probably my home; and “your son will look for you when he is old enough”.
I had hardly been away from my son’s side for the entire 8 months of his life leading up to separation, so regardless of the advice I received from those who had lost their FC battles, their homes and families, the incredible bond between my son and I provided me with the strength and determination to battle on. Judges called me “obsessed” and “aggressive” because I fought so relentlessly, but I never lost sight of my goal; to equally share in my son’s care.
Perhaps if I was younger, had other children, had earlier FC experience or worked full time during those months, maybe I would have taken the advice of those poor, outcast and bruised fathers, and made the awful decision to become a “walk-away” dad.
I know of some fathers who learnt from their own earlier unsuccessful (tragic) Family Court experiences, and rather than fight another 3-5 year campaign and shell out another $20-30,000, made the painful decision to walk-away after subsequent divorces/separations.
We have to admit that there are few happy endings where fathers have applied to the Family Court to continue “being fathers”, and word-of-mouth and increased publicity means that fathers are more informed on the probable outcome and cost. Is it any wonder why some dads simply walk-away?
Comment by xsryder — Mon 23rd April 2007 @ 1:37 am
Helping guys after separation is hard work, and encountering (what you referred to as a 5%er) is also — shall we say distressing. Amongst all the people to whom you offer your help there are those (and call them what you like), the reality is that nothing that comes out of your mouth is going to change what they think, and if you don’t identify that character, they will just use you. Amongst that group I identify three characters. The ones whom with a lot of help might change, the ones whose perceived sense of injustice is so great they cannot reconcile change, and the ones with an unfortunate disposition or mental illness that cannot change. With all due respect scrap, don’t beat yourself up because you lost one, or crucify the very great majority who do get there, either on their own or with our help, usually under very trying circumstances. Every case deserves respect for its individual complexities, and requires its own unique solution, and sometimes that is not the anticipated outcome we would prefer.
Comment by Bevan Berg — Mon 23rd April 2007 @ 3:40 pm
Just to confirm that the percentage of parents who are like this is unknown.
What is know is that NZ has a system of Family Law that encourages it to happen.
Regards
Scrap
Comment by Scrap_The_CSA — Mon 23rd April 2007 @ 6:07 pm
I’m with you on that scrap, because every guy (or women for that matter) that I have ever helped, has come out of some so called professionals to hard basket, and with a little bit of compassion and understanding most of them picked themselves up and got back on their feet and got on with life and a relationship with their children. If you can’t do the job, the reality is for most of you get fired, but not these pricks, they even changed those rules.
Comment by Bevan Berg — Mon 23rd April 2007 @ 7:57 pm
Bevan,
Hear! Hear!
Some Mums and Dads who are embroiled the stress and anguish of their separation find it more difficult to reach the realisation that there are two “big” people (Mum and Dad) in this and one or more “little” people (our kids).
The “big” people will, eventually, work through their grief and get on with their lives because they’ve been round the racetrack of Life a couple of times.
Our “little” people do not have this experience and maturity to draw upon and Mum and Dad must do their utmost to continue to parent their kids and to help them through what is [in their eyes] a cataclysm.
When you are dealing with only one of the “big” people it can be difficult to keep the focus squarely on the best outcome for our Kiwi Kids.
Legal workers (AKA solicitors) only complicate the situation, because they thrive by creating conflict between parents.
Until we start to recognise that, whether or not Mum and Dad live under the same roof, our Children have an ABSOLUTE right to be raised by both their Mum and their Dad, the situation will not improve.
It matters not what our policticians say. Unless they ACT to improve the situation by stopping the current violent abuse of our Children’s ABSOLUTE right to be raised by both of their Parents, nothing will change.
It matters not what boshier says. Until he ACTS to stop the violent abuse of our Children perpetrated by his courts and his judiciary, nothing will change.
It matters not how the IRD seek to abdicate their responsibility for the current disaster. Until they ACT to stop their violent abuse of our Children’s rights, nothing will change.
Comment by Mark Shipman — Wed 25th April 2007 @ 12:52 pm
WHAT IS THIS DRIVEL!
You folks all seem to have forgotten that, “five percenters” or not, this whole child tax thing is a complete political balls-up of mammoth proportions.
The whole f***ing thing needs to be thrown out along with the garbage (I know we shouldn’t talk about bradford, collins, wilson, clark and fitz-whats-her-name like that, but what-the-F).
Somebody somewhere in government has to realise that if they don’t address this festering pustule soon they will face a much more dire situation.
Try and keep the main thing the main thing.
Comment by Sparx — Thu 26th April 2007 @ 6:33 pm
Ok guys – what’s the answer to a ex husband who even after five years of separation/divorce and absolute fair treatment, is not INTERESTED in his precious 6 year old (who, by the way, fm birth has had a major health issue and whose longevity is a question mark) though is a great, bubbly, loving bright child, who, when he does see his Dad, thinks the world of him. He is too little to understand that he is way down on the list of importance on his fathers list..how sad is this??What is the answer here???
Comment by GC — Mon 16th July 2007 @ 9:16 pm