A Sign of Changing Attitudes?
This news article was interesting. It was headlined ‘Police hunt sex pest’ and described a ‘half-naked’ man aged about 20 years offering to drive a female European tourist to show her Huka Falls. (Actually, he was dressed in shorts on a very hot day”¦) He drove her instead to a nearby dam further up the Waikato River and at some stage after they both left the car he made some sexual suggestion through gesturing. According to the article, she became angry and he ‘took fright’, drove off and left her there. A nearby worker noticed her there soon thereafter and alerted police.
Now perhaps this man’s intentions were unsavoury, his behaviour dishonourable, exploitative and irresponsible. Perhaps he is a rapist-in-waiting who couldn’t quite bring himself to proceed on this occasion. But we only have her version of events that might not be entirely truthful, and even that version didn’t warrant the extreme language or jumping to conclusions that he was dangerous, a ‘sex pest’, ‘she was lucky to escape unharmed’ etc. Equally, he may have found her attractive, hoped that she was interested in a bit of nooky with him, driven her to other nearby sights to extend their time together (he may have explained this but language difficulties caused some misunderstanding), then felt so perturbed and offended by her hostile reaction to his playful sexual suggestions that he sought a quick escape. He may have been concerned for his safety if he tried to drive her back to town, and/or concerned that her unreasonable hostility predicted she might make false allegations to police when they returned to town so he’d better make himself scarce. (We all know that any such allegations will ruin a man’s life regardless of their veracity, and that nothing is needed apart from allegations to prosecute and convict a man of sexual crimes.) She may have had her own personality problems leading her to make unwise choices in the first place and affecting her subsequent interpretations and responses. He may have been aware that the power station was close by and she would easily find a ride back to town. The fact is, we simply don’t know. All we are told is he drove her near to a dam and power station, indicated he was interested in sex and quickly left when she declined in an angry manner.
The fact that police and news media alike were so quick to jump to conclusions involving male-demonizing hyperbole won’t surprise anyone here, but what was surprising were the public comments in response to this article. Nearly all were scathing of it, many recognizing accurately that the man had not committed any offence, that simply asking a woman to have sex now saw a man treated like a rapist, and that real crime was being sidelined through this manhunt for a non-offender. Several people even recognized the broader issue of feminist misandry as relevant here. Check it out; this may represent significant progress in public attitude, a refreshing intolerance towards male-bashing.
I wonder if this is one of those, “Fork or walk it moments” (is that how you say it?). She may not have known her way back and sooooo, she said, “I’ll walk it thanks”.
I had similar happen to me when I was 15 camping with my family. The locals enjoy meeting with tourists and I had a good time riding a race horse, floating down a dangerous river in a tyre tube and being the only girl who jumped from the bridge but not when a guy offered a motor cycle ride, took me out somewhere and made advances. [He said give it up or I’m leaving you here] He did take off and another local came back and picked me up. It didn’t ruin my holiday though. I just made sure I didn’t associate with any of the ones I didn’t already know and made a penpal who I wrote to until he died in a car accident.
But then, as you say, he might have become frightened and left her there for his safety. We won’t know until we hear his side of the story.
Comment by julie — Fri 21st January 2011 @ 2:24 pm
Actually, I may have been 14.
Hans, I’m surprised you picked this story to write about.
If this young man [20] did in fact drive a young woman [I don’t see him doing it to someone older than him]….somewhere off the beaten track to sexually advance on her, can you not see how that’s a worry and he’s a pest? Taupo is a tourist destination this time of the year and it’s not normal behaviour to isolate tourists to ask for sex. The comments clearly show a lack of care to family’s safety IMO.
Comment by Julie — Fri 21st January 2011 @ 3:12 pm
Come on Julie- wake up and smell the sexism!
Re-write the story and change the sexes- a “half-naked female” etc.
The truth is that men are too afraid of women becoming pests, that men are avoiding women in droves.
How many MEN are there in your single parents club who are looking to spend time with women? none I bet. Such clubs are all about women desperate to find more men to replace the last ones.
I know this, I used to be on the Comittee of Club 77, and it eventually closed because there were no men interested.
Blame men for everything, then wonder why there are none around.
Comment by John Brett — Fri 21st January 2011 @ 4:07 pm
— Gold!
Comment by Vman — Fri 21st January 2011 @ 4:22 pm
This is a trick question. I’ll just say that not everyone’s affected the same way and I love what I do.
From what I see, you don’t have the same opinion as me, nothing else. I do my best not to be sexist so if I have come across this way, I apologise.
Comment by Julie — Fri 21st January 2011 @ 4:30 pm
I’m delighted Hans posted this and subsequently some of us are questioning the journalist’s use of the phase ‘sex pest’.
In this situation the use of the sensationalist phrase seems unfair and misandric as well as possibly very inaccurate because NOBODY to date has gotten the young man’s view on things.
So the journalist is being very irresponsible in only taking the woman’s view of things as though that’s the whole truth
(feminism in a nutshell right there for you)
I think it’s also reasonable to say the comments here DON’T show a lack of care to family.
On the contrary when we factor in that this man although unknown personally to us is ALSO PART OF OUR FAMILY OF HUMANKIND, then I think we are being entirely caring towards family.
Comment by Skeptic — Fri 21st January 2011 @ 4:41 pm
Yes Vman,
I agree.
Pure Gold.
Comment by Skeptic — Fri 21st January 2011 @ 4:48 pm
Maybe journalists shouldn’t print things until they have both sides to a story. 😉
Comment by Julie — Fri 21st January 2011 @ 4:52 pm
Julie,
Precisomondo sista.
Comment by Skeptic — Fri 21st January 2011 @ 4:54 pm
Blame men for everything- then wonder why the the birth rate is way below replacement (in all western countries). It is MEN who are choosing not to have children, not women.
Blame men for everything- then wonder why women over 27 have virtually nil chance of forming a permanent relationship (lower even than the 60 plus group of women, in which many of the men have already died!).
I even heard men being blamed (by Kerre Woodham) for NZ’s appalling child abuse record- when most of it is comitted by women- including the two cases currently in the news)
Is it any wonder that men now avoid having any contact with children.
Julie is entitled to her opinion- she would do better to face facts.
Comment by John Brett — Fri 21st January 2011 @ 6:02 pm
I have lost count of the number of men I know personally who have had the snip. They like kids they just don’t want their lives to be ruined.
Comment by Vman — Fri 21st January 2011 @ 6:10 pm
I don’t know why you care if I have a different OPINION. It’s not about me, it’s about ‘feminist ideology’ and moving society away from it. Who cares which facts are used to get there.
Comment by julie — Fri 21st January 2011 @ 6:55 pm
Do others agree though that the responses by readers on the Herald site show a lot more realism than they would have a year or two ago?
Comment by Hans Laven — Fri 21st January 2011 @ 7:36 pm
Hi Hans,
I had a quick look at the article you linked to and at the 86 comments people gave in response to the article.
I have to agree there is some shift in attitude as you mention.
My favorite comment is this one –
That had me guffawing into my coffee
Comment by Skeptik — Fri 21st January 2011 @ 8:16 pm
This particular story (Police hunt sex pest) is a rehash of a story that hit Yahoo News the day before (Tourist has lucky escape after stranding)
The thoughtful driver that picked up the tourist who was hitchhiking to Huka Falls is being referred to as “the offender” although I’m uncertain exactly what offence he is accused of committing, let alone being found guilty of any offence (typical).
From what I gather; Man picks up female hitchhiker. He asks for sex. She says no. He complies. She becomes angry. He leaves. She is in between rides again which is the situation that most hitchhikers expect to find themselves in.
It seems the detective investigating is also succumbing to hysteria:
I’d like to know what damned crime has been committed. Maybe they’re concerned at what his intentions might have been? As far as I’m aware we haven’t stooped to policing individual’s thoughts yet. Maybe this is the beginning of Thought Crimes?
Comment by Wayne — Fri 21st January 2011 @ 8:24 pm
Lol that was me Skeptic. My username there is Not Your Business
Comment by Wayne — Fri 21st January 2011 @ 8:26 pm
I’m a sex-pest!
Comment by One man's perspective — Fri 21st January 2011 @ 8:28 pm
(although to be fair, I should probably now not ask any women for sex, who are planning on saying ‘no’).
Comment by One man's perspective — Fri 21st January 2011 @ 8:29 pm
I’m commenting most days on Yahoo news articles where the subject relates to males and often opposing much of the shocking anti-Maori racism posted by readers. What does surprise me is the huge number of women contributors who are realists. They vastly outnumber the manginas, white-knights and feminist extremists views posted there.
Comment by Wayne — Fri 21st January 2011 @ 8:40 pm
Lol, why even ask? They can ask you.
You can ask back, “Will that be cash, credit card or do you have dinner and drinks in mind – if so how much are you spending on me?”
Comment by Julie — Fri 21st January 2011 @ 8:47 pm
Yes OMP, as one commenter on the news site said, if this man was a sex pest then so is every man in NZ who has ever asked for sex or made some sexual suggestion in humour or otherwise. Well, feminist ideology does see all men as sex pests, in fact, rapists.
Comment by Hans Laven — Sat 22nd January 2011 @ 11:06 am
Well done Wayne, such efforts in the public arena are getting results in the arena of feminist-captured public belief. By the way, sorry for asking! (Just a wee joke in response to your username being NOT OUR BUSINESS…)
(Reminds me of a good line in response to some people’s jokes: “Oh I get it; it’s like humour, only different.”)
Comment by Hans Laven — Sat 22nd January 2011 @ 11:12 am
Hahahaha … very good. Apology accepted :p
The username is actually Not Your Business Nosy however it doesn’t all fit it. It’s simply an email address clone that I’ve used where there is a likelihood of me receiving spam.
Comment by Wayne — Sat 22nd January 2011 @ 1:35 pm
so are we saying that, in order to ensure men are not “sex pests”, that woman should now be the only initiators of sex?
Then what, when mmen say no? Are they then the new sex pests?
Or should we not say no? (would that in itself be ‘controlling’?)
Comment by Steve — Sat 22nd January 2011 @ 7:58 pm
Then what, when men say no? Are women then the new sex pests
Comment by Steve — Sat 22nd January 2011 @ 7:59 pm
Nah Steve, they’ll bring in a new law like the one in Mexico that makes it a crime to refuse sex to your wife (legalised rape).
Comment by Wayne — Sat 22nd January 2011 @ 8:17 pm
Steve,
You forgot to add that the woman asking will have to sign a document in triplicate in front of a Justice of the Peace saying her intentions are honest and peaceable, and that you will not be held liable for 20 years of child tax should contraception ‘fail’.
Whether that will suffice or you’ll later get stung big-time as she proclaims a ‘recovered memory’ decades down track of you raping her is anyone’s guess.
You could try video recording the whole sloppy ordeal for evidence that it wasn’t rape, but then I’m afraid you could get jail time for invasion of privacy.
Either that or end up starting a new career as a porn star!
Worse case scenario is you’ll get put in the slammer for 7 – 14 years for ‘rape’ and saddled with years of child tax to boot.
Also nobody in your home town will speak to you again, you’ll never get a bank loan, promotion or even the time of day, and generally your life will be screwed.
If you want to see the resultant child which she will have naturally kept as a nice little lifestyle ‘earner’ rather than unilaterally aborted, then you’ll have to fork out money to go visit the cute dimply one at a supervision center.
That’s of course if you haven’t been issued with Non Contact order issued every six months to you ad infinitum by some old fuddy duddy guy in a ‘court’ who’s never so much as clapped eyes on you.
You could of course disguise yourself as a dog and wander the streets. Chances are you’ll get picked up as a stray and may even end up in a good home.
The nice folks in NZ provide shelters for animals, not men I fear, hence the disguise idea.
Look on the bright side though.
About the sex thing – if you can actually put the fear of misandry out of your mind for long enough to maintain your excitement then eventually a few seconds of your miserable existence living in a feminist culture will get obliterated by having an orgasm!
Of course you could emigrate to a sane country, somewhere outside the dark femisphere.
It’d probably be much less fraught and a damn site more enjoyable.
Good luck with it all, and please get back to us to let us know how you got on.
I’ve got to go now as I’ve got more bartering to do so as to avoid money transactions and paying more tax to the misandric gynocracy.
Plus somebody is looking at me weird because I just did something VERY risky and supect.
I passed a kid on the street and actually said a muffled “hello”.
Yikes! I’m outta here!
Comment by Skeptik — Sat 22nd January 2011 @ 8:29 pm
Guys, men , you are doing a great job tutoring men against women.Thank God, as you say “Men have always treated women well” and sooo.
But, I happen to have different men approach me and I wish you all the best in life.
Comment by Julie — Sun 23rd January 2011 @ 2:44 pm
Actually Julie, I am trying to do the opposite. But I feel like King Canute, trying to turn the tide. I was trying to POINT OUT the extent to which men have turned their backs on women. If you know me, you would know that it’s NOT WHAT I HAVE DONE. It is a hard path to choose, though for a man to learn that some women are worthy of their love.
Comment by John Brett — Sun 23rd January 2011 @ 3:22 pm
to Skeptic:
Look on the bright side: 14 years inside the slammer for rape, but at least you’ll be held liable for minimal Child Support!
Comment by Steve — Sun 23rd January 2011 @ 3:36 pm
Thanks for the effort Julie,
However I think you’ll find if you were to ask that we don’t tutor men to be against women as you put it.
No, that would be crass, dumb and asking ourselves to become less than the wonderful humanitarian folks we are.
We do try to help men to stay safe in a culture which denies them basic human rights though.
The sad fact of such an aware existence is that misandric men are worthy of being wary of too, not just certain women.
I imagine it’s a tough position being a woman today, attracted to men, yet so often avoided as men en mass wise up and repel themselves from harms way.
That’s not to demonize all women mind you.
It’s just a simple sad fact of life that as a result of decades of society pandering to women’s demands we now have a rigged legal system which favors female hearsay over forensic evidence.
Incredible isn’t it?
Now you might moan all day and night as some women do
The reality of aware men though is much different.
In our minds you ARE despite such protestations like all other women in cultures now infected with feminism legally.
You, as a woman have a power men do not.
The power to falsely accuse and wreck their lives with impunity. You have social programs, health programs, education programs men can only envy.
Knowing this they are wise to fear the immense power differential.
Fear is attractive Julie.
So much for feminism empowering you Julie.
It’s actually brought your value as a safe romantic partner DOWN.
The whole scenario has an air of the surreal about it.
Asking aware men in the Anglosphere to form close relationships these days seems a bit like it would asking an unempowered black person pre-civil rights USA to feel comfortable trusting they’ll be OK getting together with an Ivy League Caucasian. A Caucasian who despite being sweet and thoughtful, could in a nanosecond turn and bring the full weight of cultural and institutionalized bigotry down on the poor Black person.
I think if you want to be a woman who is trusted by aware men these days you have to be seen diligently working to help men overcome their nigger status, and you have to be super sensitive as they can take flight fearing the power women have which they don’t so much.
My response to Steve was satirical.
But I meant every word of it.
Good luck with men approaching you.
Who knows?
Despite men’s growing awareness of being the disposable nigger second sex and female hypergamy you might get lucky.
I think you’d better be VERY wary of speaking out impulsively and harshly either to them directly or about guys in general around them though.
For I imagine that being sensible they’ll be racing off in a heartbeat rather than stick close by and risk the full force of feminism being dumped on them.
Comment by Skeptik — Sun 23rd January 2011 @ 4:27 pm
Sorry, I meant to say fear is UNATTRACTIVE!
Comment by Skeptik — Sun 23rd January 2011 @ 4:29 pm
To Steve,
Yes, reduced child tax whilst being raped if you happen to be considered pretty.
Comment by Skeptik — Sun 23rd January 2011 @ 4:34 pm
Well put Skeptic. What you describe is ‘Market Failure’see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Market_failure
Reading this article, and applying in the context of sexual relationships (marrriage etc) is fascinating.
I love the part saying “A related issue can be the inability of a seller to exclude non-buyers from using a product anyway, as in the development of inventions that may spread freely once revealed. This can cause underinvestment, such as where a researcher cannot capture enough of the benefits from success to make the research effort worthwhile.”
Interpret this as “Why should I do all the paying when she is giving it away free to other people”
Comment by John Brett — Sun 23rd January 2011 @ 4:38 pm
Remember that for many years it wasn’t ‘rape’ (big Jim in the cell wanting to cuddle up behind you); its only relatively recently that the definitions of sexual violation changed to include anal rape (and remove gender reference?). [I might be wrong on my facts; feel free to correct].
Comment by Steve — Sun 23rd January 2011 @ 4:41 pm
might not apply exactly to the topic but will he get protection or get laffed out??…
http://www.smh.com.au/world/strangebuttrue/husband-seeks-police-protection-from-sexmad-wife-20110127-1a5r2.html
Comment by karan jiharr — Thu 27th January 2011 @ 2:42 pm
Thank-you karan jiharr for posting this on this site. I have been in good discussion with women about immigrants. Many women come across as rude with their, “I want, give me” attitude and lots of community women are pissed off. One woman said she has traveled the world and in some cultures women have to demand things, even push their way through crowds just to get the basics, ……as their defense.
I have only been in NZ for 19 years and in some ways women have lost power over here. From women in the police force, it’s said that women had no problem grabbing gangsters by the ear and saying, “Your mother wants to speak to you, go home”. But a woman wouldn’t dare do that these days.
My first boyfriend was Italian and he wasn’t allowed to marry me because the older brothers hadn’t married first. His mother did that. I know Greek women on two sides. 1) They are not allowed to be without a chaperon, and 2) once married, they have complete control of everything. My male friends had a saying, “These girls look good until they marry you and then they get fat and sit back demanding for all”.
I wonder sometimes if women are worse off with feminism or better off.
Comment by julie — Thu 27th January 2011 @ 3:15 pm