Suicide following inappropriate relationship
A Wellington teacher found dead at her parents’ home is believed to have died after being told she would be investigated over allegations of having sex with a student.
Scots College head of geography Phillippa Lewis, known as Pip, was found dead by her father at the home she shared with her parents on November 2.
It is understood that headmaster Graeme Yule was told about the sex allegations about one week before the 32-year-old’s death.
The school hosting the funeral of the teacher has created a difficult set of circumstances; there will be some difficulty balancing the needs of all concerned here, both the family of the pupil involved and the needs of the students at examination time.
“It would be unlawful for the college to make a response to the issues you raise before the matter has been dealt with by the coroner . . .”
It is interesting how the teacher’s suicide completely changes the landscape. The focus moves from the pupil involved to the pupils involved in the aftermath of a teacher’s death.
For the pupil at the centre of this – life will certainly never be the same.
Wow ! She was called “wonderful” THREE times in the article. Yet, if a man had done this, he’s be described as a “monster”. By everyone.
Comment by golfa — Wed 27th November 2013 @ 8:14 am
Comparing what might happen if this were a male teacher the likelihood of a funeral at school would be less if not non-existent because the man hater brigade would show up with banners waving and shouting abuse.
Suicide is all too common when sexual allegations are made. I wonder what percentage of men thought it was easier to check out rather than face a trial, jail, media attention and public hatred not to mention financial ruin, possible loss of family, home, job and lifelong friends. Even if found not guilty what as I understand is 87% of cases, it never turns out well.
Seems a less of a problem with woman interfering with boys but I wonder if it’s not reported as much.
Judging by how well the teacher was liked by the school and boys it places the boy in an unwinnable situation. It is sad the boy involved will take some heat from his schoolmates, even be downright blamed Pip’s death. Quite a lot for a schoolboy to deal with at a tender age.
Hard for society to not treat Pip as the victim because she is a woman and she is now dead.
Comment by Lukenz — Wed 27th November 2013 @ 8:28 am
Mmmmmm, so shes a alleged underage rapist but that’s okay as she was a chick, (reaches for the puke bowl and raises my middle finger at the biased system)
At least she didn’t have to go through the legal system where a chicks word is taken like a police officers as gospel every time and no matter what after you’ve been found guilty or not it stays with you forever.
Yes sadly when confronted by stuff like this, the only final way is to “check out”.
Comment by Dominic Dilligaf — Wed 27th November 2013 @ 10:29 am
Lukenz comments that this is an unwinnable situation.
The teacher’s response may have been an overreaction, in the heat of the moment. It may also have been a rational response, to the situation in which she had placed herself.
She may not have had much faith in the caught$, or she may have been overwhelmed by shame and embarrassment.
This tragedy brings out that maybe our crime definitions and sentencing structure is sometimes excessive and in the end socially destructive.
In this situation, we have in essence executed a teacher who was successful and productive for our society. (I don’t believe that our judges could claim as much.) Maybe unintended, but the result is exactly the same.
Lukenz has suggested that maybe boys don’t need to be protected from predatory adults, as much as girls?
I believe that there is a tiny bit of truth in that, but mainly young boys do need to be protected.
The difficulty that we have as a society, is that vulnerability isn’t really accurately indicated by age. Age is a very poor proxy indicator for vulnerability. Even then, age is not able to be easily and accurately detected at the moment. Even if vulnerability could be accurately measured at one point in time, what about a day later, when the person is inebriated, or hungry, or tired, or embarrassed, or blackmailed into having sex?
Looking at the situation hypothetically, even if the young man was largely the initiator, it is easy for us to say that the relationship should not have happened. Perhaps he should have been protected from himself?
More so for younger boys, particularly when there has been a large age difference, then outcomes can include serious damage to ability to form intimate relationships, suicide and in less common cases, murder and rape.
These risks alone are not enough to justify throwing the book at “perpetrators”, as it is also true that there are many such relationships which are not accompanied by worst case outcomes. (See Rind Controversy).
There is a lot of self proclaimed victimhood going on at present. Personal responsibility isn’t being mentioned as often as it should be. Life is abuse, but where to draw the line? How heavily should the axe fall?
We decry abduction and rape, to obtain marriage. But not women using seduction using ethyl alcohol to disable inhibitions, to marriage or child [and spousal] support payments.
Looking through the outcomes from sexually abusive relationships, I would suggest that the largest single problem we presently have, is protecting young boys from predatory adults (mainlyf). The largest contributor to this exposure, is the failure of men to play a large enough role in caring for young children. In other words, men standing back is as much to blame, as women falling into a trap when they have been left alone for too long with young children.
Dominic Dilligaf says women have an easy time through the caught$. Maybe this is often true, but I think the teacher had a more realistic understanding of what she faced. We need to understand this better, from all perspectives.
The young man didn’t seek such an outcome, he has lost a lover.
All of the people who are hopping on the bandwagon to be critical, seem to have forgotten the dynamics, surprises and illogicality of natural human responses. (I am old and can only remember because I wrote it down at the time.)
The counsellor who breached confidence seems to be wearing a lot of responsibility.
How many more good people need to die, before we address these relationship questions realistically?
Matty Silver suggests that we approach relationship issues more flexibly, with more understanding of our human behaviours. Can an affair save a marriage?
Everyone involved needs to look at their performance, even the caught$ that the teacher never got to.
We need to address these issues realistically, maturely, pragmatically and with love in our hearts, rather than seeking to destroy people, MurrayBacon – axe murderer.
Comment by MurrayBacon — Wed 27th November 2013 @ 1:30 pm
Murray, underage boys need just as much protection against both woman and men. (i.e. Catholic Church past behaviour and woman who abuse boys). It’s a core value of black ribbon.
For the record the boy is a victim here. But he probably won’t be treated as one because he is male and she is female and dead. Allowing the funeral to be held at school demonstrates the boards thinking this way.
If Pip was a man I don’t think the funeral would be held at school.
The real victim is Pip’s parents and family because their lost is final.
The boy will have a battle on his hands at school and in his own mind. And that’s a heavy load.
Comment by Lukenz — Wed 27th November 2013 @ 3:05 pm
Essentially Scots College has chosen to celebrate paedophilia.
Comment by Wayne Burrows — Wed 27th November 2013 @ 3:24 pm
Double Wow !! The story has been removed from stuff.co.nz. Why am I not surprised !
Comment by golfa — Wed 27th November 2013 @ 6:43 pm
It should never have been put up in the first place; it was a thoughtless, disgusting and confused news report.
It highlights the amateurish journalism standards that we see daily, but generally accept. This has been a strange combination of events which has brought to the fore the lack of credibility we see in editing standards in our mainstream media, and this particular piece would also threaten the recent less restrictive approach taken to the reporting of suicides.
That is not to say, that we should not continue to take a liberal approach to reporting suicide; no, it highlights the need for journalists to start thinking about what they are writing.
Comment by Downunder — Wed 27th November 2013 @ 7:25 pm
Are you friggin serious, DownUnder?
This news article – and its predecessor on 5 November, first reporting the teacher’s sudden death, have both been removed from Stuff. If you search ‘Scots’ in Stuff, you’ll see the existence of both articles, but nonetheless not be able to access either.
Someone, perhaps a Scots parent or a teacher or maybe an old boy, has undoubtedly pulled strings to see these pages removed, in order to protect Scot’s College reputation.
Open journalism would not bow to such pressure.
But then, open journalism would report this child sex abuse case as fully (and condemningly) as were the genders reversed, rather than mourning this alleged child sex abuser’s suicide.
Comment by omg you're *(&%^ — Wed 27th November 2013 @ 8:24 pm
The following is in several newspapers up and down NZ.
This seems to disappear fast, so if interested, keep a copy!
27 Nov 2013 The Southland Times Fairfax NZ
A Wellington teacher found dead at her parents’ home is believed to have died after being told she would be investigated over allegations of having sex with a student.
Scots College head of geography Phillippa Lewis, known as Pip, was found dead by her father at the home she shared with her parents on November 2.
It is understood that headmaster Graeme Yule was told about the sex allegations about one week before the 32-year-old’s death.
On November 1, when the college’s year 13 boys left on NCEA exam leave, Miss Lewis was told about the allegations and that the school would be investigating.
She was found dead the following day. The college hosted her funeral on November 6.
Details of her alleged relationship with a senior student emerged when the boy confided in a support person, who passed the information to Mr Yule.
Fairfax was contacted by parents angry about how the school handled the information, and that Miss Lewis was not immediately removed from teaching. They also expressed their fury at the college’s decision to host her funeral while the boy’s family were still reeling from the revelations of the alleged relationship.
The boy’s mother contacted a Wellington MP with her concerns about the school’s handling of the matter.
Mr Yule said yesterday that Miss Lewis’ death was the subject of a coroner’s inquiry.
‘‘It would be unlawful for the college to make a response to the issues you raise before the matter has been dealt with by the coroner . . .”
He disputed unspecified information about the case, which he said ‘‘appear to arise out of a number of rumours circulating regarding this matter”.
‘‘The college has acted appropriately and in a timely manner on all information it has received.”
It would consider its next steps once the coroner had completed her investigation, he said.
Online tributes to Miss Lewis came from family, friends and students after her death. Scots College head prefect James Costello Ladanyi wrote that it was impossible to put into words how sad he was.
‘‘She was so much more than a teacher to me: she was a friend to talk to, an ear when I needed to rant and a smiling face when I needed cheering up.
‘‘Miss Lewis was and always will be a favourite of the boys at Scots College for one reason – she genuinely cared,” he wrote.
Another student wrote that he was never taught by Miss Lewis, but could tell she was a ‘‘wonderful woman”.
‘‘I can’t think of a time when I saw her around school without a smile on her face. I know from friends that she was a wonderful house dean and great teacher, and she will be missed by all.”
Another described her as a ‘‘wonderful, caring, dedicated, fun, enthusiastic teacher, dragon boat coach and mentor”.
‘‘In this, my last year at college, your support and guidance in geography and all other aspects of college life I have truly valued.”
Comment by MurrayBacon — Wed 27th November 2013 @ 9:23 pm
So stuff are saying this article was taken down because it was before the coroner. In cases of murder suicide which go to the coroner the deaths are still reported and speculation is often made.
Am I missing something here or is it really the case that the media cannot report on this case?
Comment by Wayne Burrows — Thu 28th November 2013 @ 1:51 pm
I think that it is a convenient excuse, I didn’t have any choice, I was forced to do it that way (which actually suited me…)
I would guess that the only embarrassing detail was that the school hosted the funeral, of a person who was alleged to have had a sexual relationship with a child attending the school. If the young man was over 16, then there is no criminal element, just a breach of teaching discipline.
It appears to me, that as a society we are making hard work of this type of situation. I do support protection of all school children and protection of children under 16 years. But I don’t support witch hunts, which end up doing more harm than good.
Should we protect schoolteachers or lawyers and judges? Should we feed schoolteachers, or lawyers and judges?
Generally, I trust schoolteachers, way more than any form of legal worker. Schoolteachers are generally willing to work in open situations and to be judged on the quality and integrity of their work. I support schoolteachers, any day.
Lets put our time and energy to protecting small children, from neglect and emotional neglect. (I am saying much the same as Judy Bailey’s Brainwave Trust. I believe for the same reasons.)
Sure, one of the largest mind numbing barriers to men protecting their children, are the familycaught$ double-talking thieves. But also many men don’t make caring for their children, with their own manhours, a high enough priority.
I suggest that familycaught$ and the thieves who sail in her, cause more neglect and damage to children, than all of the schoolteachers in NZ put together, (but without doing any of the good that schoolteachers do, day in and day out). I would trust most teachers to do a good job as a family court judge protecting children, more than I would trust any of the present motley crew. Schoolteachers have relevant training and relevant experience and proven performance. (I am biassed!)
MurrayBacon.
Comment by MurrayBacon — Thu 28th November 2013 @ 3:53 pm
Wayne Burrows – and presumably they had to take down the article of 5/11/13, first announcing a teacher had died suddenly (no mention of suicide, sexual abuse or anything). Yeah Right.
Comment by omg you're *(&%^ — Thu 28th November 2013 @ 5:24 pm
Grooming”¦”¦
Extract from the news article….
”She was so much more than a teacher to me: she was a friend to talk to, an ear when I needed to rant and a smiling face when I needed cheering up.
If it were a male teacher it would have been call ‘Grooming’ since it was a woman its call being a wonderful woman, and genuinely cared.
Another described her as a ”wonderful, caring, dedicated, fun, enthusiastic teacher, dragon boat coach and mentor’.
Comment by Lukenz — Fri 29th November 2013 @ 11:17 am
“Miss Lewis was and always will be a favourite of the boys at Scots College for one reason”. I guess we now know why …..
Comment by golfa — Fri 29th November 2013 @ 11:27 am
— ORIGINAL ARTICLE 5 NOVEMBER 2013 —
(In case anyone wanted it)
Death of Scots teacher shocks students, staff
Last updated 05:00 05/11/2013
TESSA JOHNSTONE
A Wellington school is supporting students and staff after the sudden death of a teacher.
Scots College head of geography Phillippa Lewis, known as Pip, died on Saturday at the home where she lived with her parents Russell and Janice Lewis.
Mr Lewis, who found his daughter, said the death was very unexpected and the 32-year-old had been her usual, cheeky self the night before.
“We thought she was pretty special, she loved Scots College – it was a special place for her. And as a person she was lovely, outgoing, just touched people.”
Mr Lewis said friends who had visited them were devastated by the news, and the school had been quick to offer support to the family.
Ms Lewis had one brother, but was part of a close-knit group of cousins who were as good as siblings, Mr Lewis said.
The headmaster of the private boys’ school, Graeme Yule, said Ms Lewis was a much cherished staff member who had worked with them since 2005, a wonderful teacher, and a committed house dean.
Mr Yule said the college’s crisis team had assistance from counsellors from other Wellington schools, as well at the Ministry of Education, and their focus was on supporting staff, students and the wider community to get through it.
“I would like to take this opportunity to thank the community for their support at this difficult time. We are focusing on supporting all those adversely affected by this tragedy. Our prayers are with the Lewis family at this time.”
Ministry spokeswoman Katrina Casey said the ministry’s traumatic incident team was providing the school with support to reduce any impact the death may have on staff, students and the wider community.
Support may include helping to allay fears, supporting communication and restoring, as far as possible, day-to-day routines, said Ms Casey.
A police spokesperson said there were no suspicious circumstances and the death would be referred to the coroner.
A service for Ms Lewis will be held at Scots College on Wednesday.
– © Fairfax NZ News
Comment by Rachel — Fri 29th November 2013 @ 6:32 pm
Post censored by coroner. I received the following message today. Accordingly, this page will not be publicly visible for the time being.
Comment by JohnPotter — Wed 4th December 2013 @ 3:40 pm