- promoting a clearer understanding of men's experience -
An honest question that I hope will create some discussion. Is society’s failure of boys is evidence of sexism against males?
If boys are so easy to raise, why are we so shit at it?
If as I suspect they require the same attention girls do, does the fact we give them less reflect the value we place upon them?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POuhEsvuTs8
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Well, my first thought was that of old I guess, that boys are more capable and willl always find a way, but now that I think about THAT I realise I think of more what it was like in MY fathers day, you know , when they left school at thirteen and got a job, when men were supposedly real men, did not cry and were the stalwarts of our communities.
Comment by mama — Tue 17th July 2018 @ 8:20 pm
aaah — looks like a nice fishing spot.
Great video…
I was raised to respect my mother, protect her and ease her load by being independent and responsible.
I helped with my younger siblings and grew up participating in the overall running of the household.
I saw my dad do same and being dedicated to our home and our family.
Never any argument in front of us and a united front always.
Sadly This all contributed to make me a modern man.
I wish I knew the way back to the ancien man.
When I started helping my first wife with our kid, she thought I was competing.
I had experienced in child minding, she did not.
When I started cooking for us, she thought I was competing.
I had experience in looking after myself. She was good at burning pizza.
When I started doing the shopping for the family – she simply retired and gave up.
One thing I never did was dishes after cooking – just can’t be bothered.
The number of arguments we had over dishes may have broken our relationship.
They say boys need fresh air and sunlight but I think a good dose of selfishness goes a long way to make them good husband too. It is not selfishness, it’s knowing yourself. To each his role and ignoring that is what hurt men in the long run.
Learn what it is to be a man and let the household chores to her. It makes her proud.
Ignore the bitching. Make sure to walk with your gumboots in the house once in a while.
Cook on special occasions only but never be the kitchen bitch.
They say a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
Take that satisfaction of seeing you well fed and replete away and you lost half your woman.
Be a good man and provide for her and make sure she has a home and plenty of kids to keep busy
But do not interfere with her child minding.
Take the boys our for a hunt or fish and keep taking them out but when you return surrender them to her care.
Have a team approach – good cop bad cop but never disagree in front of them.
Have your own life aside from the family life and train her very early to respect your freedom.
But be there for your family and do not engage in arguments.
Where I come from , the first one to get angry looses.
Treat your children as the adults you want them to be and keep reinforcing your trust in them
– That is the first step to a good family relationship.
Each to his own but all together.
As far as raising boys – the bet thing to do is do is all the above and have good communication with them. The best communication is not by answering questions but by giving them responsibilities and participating in their lives and empowering them in learning skills and using these skills. Idleness is the worse thing to give them. Keep them busy. Do Not be as a soccer mom but as a point of reference. Someone for them to look up to.
I think for boys that is the missing ingredient. No point of reference – no authority. too much idleness and not enough responsibilities. That’s what makes a man : RESPONSIBILITY
Comment by JustCurious — Tue 17th July 2018 @ 9:07 pm
And the bitch puts her hand around him and says, “Look at my boy, isn’t he wonderful.”
She hasn’t got a fucking clue how it happened but thinks glory be unto me because I gave birth.
#walkaway from Feminism
Comment by Downunder — Wed 18th July 2018 @ 11:29 am
RESPECT AND RESPONSIBILITY…. if these things are being lost in translation I would not be surprised … we have MORAL decay and the lack of it is evident in adults who are independent from one another now. The breakdown of families, communication only by way of devices, the loss of the hand shake and verbal agreement, all becoming a distant memory,, how are the children supposed to learn these things in a stressed family environment, a distressed world and a planet where we think we could brush our waste under the carpet for yet another month.
Ultimately I guess we have the greed of BIG BUSINESS and consumerism to blame for the lack of human control. It is not just boys that are being failed, ’tis the human race.
Women have just jumped on the band wagon and having their turn…they have failed to see though, that the timing is off I am afraid.
Comment by mama — Thu 19th July 2018 @ 12:33 pm
Article by Meghan Lawrence about youth facilities
Comment by Downunder — Fri 20th July 2018 @ 9:16 am
#5
The process of establishing an identity.
Something we’ve all been through although as is often suggested and I agree this is an elongated and more problematic process that extends the teenage experience well into a boy’s third decade.
Interesting point here is that life has brought this reality back to a much younger boy.
Comment by Downunder — Fri 20th July 2018 @ 11:33 am
Well it is nice to see the system giving back to the young and in trouble, it is a shame society had to get so cruel in the first place, the cost of living has only become unbearable in the last decade or so. If all the people who have made major profits from property development etc could contribute to community based places that give hope to the young and not so in trouble that would be nice..how much money does one need anyway?
Comment by mama — Fri 20th July 2018 @ 2:10 pm
Something that has come upon us so suddenly, and this is within living generations; why would we not have some difficulty defining what is often recognised in history, rather than in the present?
The battle for identity has to be a major conflict. The environment that seeks to establish identity and the value of it to society.
And this is overshadowed by a battle with the state over control and management of the legal identity.
This in total is far more detrimental to males.
The questions of equality are a joke, when you look at the extremities of age, in terms of young and old, and predictable outcomes.
Comment by Downunder — Sat 21st July 2018 @ 10:47 am
Reading this post reminds me of the Charles Dickens’ classic Great Expectations which I find many people admit is a book they should have read but never did.
In particular his description of walking through the jail and reflecting on society but also the concept of a boy’s view of survival in a crumbling society – the plea of the writer to sensibility of the educated audience.
Comment by Evan Myers — Sat 21st July 2018 @ 11:04 am
I think this is a good post.
But the response?
There hasn’t been a great discussion here.
I wonder if we have lost our heroes?
That’s kind of a literary thing, you know, the hero of the story.
But that translates into real life, where stories come from.
Have we destroyed the idea of heroes that actually mean something to boys and girls growing up without realizing that their biological network is hunting for this.
Have we set boys more so than girls on a path to failure by manufacturering ideological heroes rather than real life heroes?
Comment by Evan Myers — Fri 27th July 2018 @ 5:36 pm
The breakdown of the family along side economic instability is a dangerous combination but I doubt we’ll see the feminist intruders taking responsibility for the outcome of their social ideology.
Comment by Evan Myers — Thu 6th September 2018 @ 1:27 pm