15 Comments »

1. 

   Oh no, this is so sad, he seemed like one of the nicest people on the television screen, this world is not set us for the ‘nice’ people any more.

   Comment by mama — Wed 22nd August 2018 @ 12:24 pm

2. 

   The New Zealand media is a fairly tight bunch who tend to stick in their own huddle and strongly resist engaging with the general public outside of sourcing information.

   It’s not surprising to see the immediate state of shock from within and while their will be a point of view expressed by this group outside observations are in my mind equally important.

   I spotted this from Mike King this morning.

   Mental health advocate Mike King appeared on the AM Show on Thursday, to talk about depression in the wake of Greg Boyed’s death. 

   Co-host Mark Richardson asked the mental health advocate how he could tell when a friend needed help. King said Kiwis need to listen without judgment. 

   “One of the biggest problems we have is this myth that there are signs… There are no ‘signs’. There is one sign and one sign only and that sign is if I tell you.

   This certainly rang some bells for me from my UOF days;

   What I quickly learned was with the right approach, the right environment along with the common experience of Family Court melarky guys would talk quite openly.

   I have no doubt we saved lives and we can say we never went to a funeral of any of our members or the men we helped.

   While the opportunity presents itself we should take the opportunity to join the discussion.

   Comment by Downunder — Thu 23rd August 2018 @ 10:18 am

3. 

   Down under, I agree entirely…however we are all so different and reaching out is harder for some than others.

   It is amazing to hear that by having the friend in the UOF did make that difference.

   There is an apparent rise in pyschotic drugs and we hear of young people saying they suffer mental illness more and more…
   In my own experience someone dear to me started taking drugs of this nature for depression, but through time and against recommendation left the drugs behind and now takes St Johns wort only..but we are very close and tell each other everything.

   Having said that it is baffling that some one so popular and seemingly happy like Greg Boyed can feel so supposedly alone…I wonder if he felt he was living a lie?

   Comment by mama — Thu 23rd August 2018 @ 11:00 am

4. 

   ..and maybe the higher your expectation of yourself and others of you is the problem..one of the problems..

   Comment by mama — Thu 23rd August 2018 @ 11:08 am

5. 

   Oh so sad Greg, I wonder if you had known how much grief you have caused to family and friends
   when you took your life ..if only you had reached out to someone. This has shocked the nation as you were so well liked…I pray there is a lovely place you go to and met up with family and friends who have gone before you…Please, God, look after him for a while…..Greg your passing will always stay with people…Sleep peacefully.

   Comment by Patricia Blake — Thu 23rd August 2018 @ 11:20 am

6. 

   It is amazing to hear that by having the friend in the UOF did make that difference.

   That I think misses the point, depending how you view friend.

   The key points here were being brought in out of the cold, removed from the isolation, commonality, being able to see some similar themes and issues even if your case is so different.

   And that is important because guys will talk past each other if they don’t make that connection. Sometimes that is as simple as saying, “Look at it in this way. We are talking about the same thing.”

   This wasn’t a group were we sat in a circle and said my name is … and I’m a recovering court victim.

   Men didn’t feel out of place and if they needed to they stuck around and they’d start talking about how to fix ‘their’ problem.

   Comment by Downunder — Thu 23rd August 2018 @ 11:29 am

7. 

   Your key points downunder, were all the very things a friend does, that is my point , a friend is maybe that one person who truly understands and can see from your eyes and who believes in you, in this respect a friend could even be a stranger but not a stranger to your experiences.

   The word friend is underrated …and in the case of social media overrated.

   Comment by mama — Thu 23rd August 2018 @ 11:56 am

8. 

   Yes. I wasn’t disagreeing with you but I felt what had been written so far obscured that point.

   Thanks for that response.

   Comment by Downunder — Thu 23rd August 2018 @ 12:23 pm

9. 

   You Got A Friend In Me

   Comment by Downunder — Thu 23rd August 2018 @ 12:54 pm

10. 

    #9, and I know you didnt mean to make me cry…lovely video.

    Comment by mama — Thu 23rd August 2018 @ 12:57 pm

11. 

    I think it is a good idea that we have a good look at depression. I am only talking here from my own experience. Society deals with depression by taking another pill. This was focussing on the symptoms rather then cure the cause. I know this is a bit simplistic, but I knew that pills did not cure the problem of depression (It can do depending on the character and cause of the depression. When I went through my middle age crisis I was depressed for 8 years. I asked myself why I was depressed which led me to looking for the source of the depression. In my case I found that the depressions stemmed from the subconscious and the unresolved negative conditionings that were stored there. I found that those unresolved negative conditionings needed to be attended to one at the time. I found that everything I had learned I could unlearn and delete those negative conditionings from my subconsciousness. I went through all those conditionings until there were none left. I then discovered as there were no more of those negative conditionings to deal with all my depressions stopped. From then on wards (which is about 30 years ago) I do not have any emotional fluctuations (Fluctuations between depression and feeling happy). My emotions are rock steady on one and the same level, just above the medium on the scale of happiness. Constant contentment.

    Therefore I do recommend that for dealing with depressions that we go to the source that causes these. Basically I now look at that my past depressions were totally positive as they did lead me to setting myself free.

    Comment by Gerald Moonen — Tue 28th August 2018 @ 10:18 am

12. 

    That is great advice Gerald, some people are definitely better at analyzing themselves than others.
    When we are young we generally do not have these skills, and maybe the causes are different then as our hormones are raging.

    I have a lot of examples of depression from people around me and they certainly vary alot.

    One particular example was highlighted as this young man, then in his very early twenties, was discovered to have left a note on his computer detailing that he intended to end his life. The family rallyed and they eventually found that he had a chemical/hormonal imbalance and he went on to Marry, have kids and a good life.

    Some of my own family, strangley enough once again young men, suffer from depression also, It tend s to be with them for some time even for life and they just have to go with it, for our family it seems to be a lack of ability to accept the way the world is, ie, a hard world, so they feel weak and wonder why other people are so hard, needless to say they are not takers and therefore often left behind and just get from life what they can without taking.

    I suffer from the same things as the rest of my family but maybe as a woman I have found happiness, in my children being a mother and also being lucky enough to have been brought up in better times, probably that is the biggest one.

    Having said that I do struggle some times with the TODAY and all of its inadequacies and lack of moral fibre.

    Comment by mama — Tue 28th August 2018 @ 11:23 am

13. 

    This opportunity of self analysis and recovery is the good story.

    Let’s not forget though that those suffering the oppression of legal institutions and feminist dogma often don’t get to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

    Comment by Evan Myers — Tue 28th August 2018 @ 12:25 pm

14. 

    Yes, that is the good story.

    The family court I am sure is an enormous problem in screwing lives up and in our families case is has caused so much angst and trauma,.. so much so that has left no course but to walk away, many others would say stay and fight but lives have to be lived, I will call it a compromise on my side even though it is a forced one…I will forgive myself more easily..

    Comment by mama — Tue 28th August 2018 @ 1:46 pm

15. 

    well put – sums all my posts up.
    Find honesty within and reclaim your own self

    In my case I found that the depressions stemmed from the subconscious and the unresolved negative conditionings that were stored there. I found that those unresolved negative conditionings needed to be attended to one at the time. I found that everything I had learned I could unlearn and delete those negative conditionings from my subconsciousness. I went through all those conditionings until there were none left.

    Comment by JustCurious — Tue 28th August 2018 @ 2:39 pm

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