“I think that continuing as Minister of Corrections is the punishment, not the other way around,” she said at her post-cabinet press conference today when she was questioned about the future of her errant minister.

Helen “lock in up in cabinet” Clark

Mr O’Connor, will not receive any reprieve from his full term of imprisonment as Minister of corrections, according to the Prime Minister of corrections, Helen Clark.

Mr O’Connor is obviously not ready to be paroled outside of cabinet yet, noted the Republicans from their secure position outside of parliament.

Mr O’Connor joins a long list of cabinet ministers held captive for fear that their release could endanger the public safety.

While the notorious David ‘Tennis Ball’ Benson-Pope is under constant surveillance during his trial release, George “Huh” Hawkins is understood to be on bail and reporting daily. Others like Ruth “drunk driver” Dyson and Lianne “tell no liez” Dalziel” have had their releases terminated and have been returned to cabinet.

Reliable sources have indicated, that there is an ongoing internal cabinet investigation into the business activities of long term cabinet inmate Michael “I didn’t hold up the dollar” Cullen.

According to hard Labour sources the Prime Minister of corrections still regards life by cabinet manual as the most appropriate punishment for socialist misfits, but is considering reviewing all current sentences before the next election. She would not however, be drawn on whether she was continuing with the current electoral legislation to ensure her own preventative detention in cabinet.

I am developing the opinion that feminism is becoming pandemic with what appears to be a virulent airborne strain. We must be vigilant in our attempts to restrict the spread of this degenerative brain disease. Bevan Berg