Single fathers raising daughters
Single fathers are discriminated against in many ways. However from my own expereince fathers raising daughters get it worse. Often this is subtle but it is felt by single fathers. This is a tradegy because a single father raising a daughter needs the most support from the community of any family.
There is a greater awareness of boys needing fathers. The lack of understanding of the importance of fathers to daughters is rather overwhelming in my view.
This article attempts to make suggestions helpful hints for single fathers raising daughters.
I’d love to hear from other single fathers raising daughters. I know there are plenty of them but their voices are rarely heard.
Many fathers raising daughter(s) without a female partner often keep their head down, due to the occasional threatening reactions that they get, mainly from a few women. Whilst most men and women are usually very helpful and supportive, the more threatening people occasionally take action, for example laying a complaint with CYFs. These can waste a lot of time and energy, that would otherwise be available for the children. Even if the outcome is no action, the wasted time and perhaps costs are still a burden.
The article is positive, but the title might be misleading – she really means “without a woman IN THE HOUSEHOLD”. Fathers in the situation discussed, almost always have access to an adult woman, who is happy to assist.
Although the article talks about solo fathers seeking help, to complete their children’s total social needs, even children with both parents at home, often/usually can benefit from having significant relationships with adults in addition to their own parents. Of course, family and friends both contribute.
One aspect of daughter’s social/health needs that isn’t as widely known as it should be, is the effect of father absence on daughters, resulting in younger puberty (or menarche) search: “bruce ellis” menarche.
Early Menarche (02/10/2003)
The reasons that this effect occurs are still being actively researched, but the effect itself has been fairly reliably demonstrated, in NZ and USA studies. Interestingly, no similar effect has been shown for mothers and sons, other than perhaps the difficulties that many solo mothers have with discipline of their children, especially male. Both this issue and the father/daughter effect can end up in the creation of offspring… at particularly high risk of not being well supported and parented.
Our children will be better protected, when we can all happily acknowledge all of the contributions that children need to grow up safe and secure.
Perhaps it is more important for a parent to understand their own limitations and be willing to complement them, than to be a perfect parent themself?
Cheers, MurrayBacon.
Comment by MurrayBacon — Sun 2nd May 2010 @ 3:48 pm