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Thu 2nd March 2006

Yes David, isn’t it your worst Nightmare!!!!!!

Filed under: General — triassic @ 8:21 pm

Doesn’t life have some amazing twists to it?? I wrote to David Benson Pope in 1994 when he was the Associate Minister of Justice. I was pleading for his help in relation to the PRA (Property Relationship Act 2002). I explained to him how the Act was not performing as was promised and from my experience was being interpreted and abused by Misandric Lawyers. His answer to me was extremely disappointing as he simply quoted me the ACT and ignored my concerns.

I find it strange that I now find myself supporting him in the situation he finds himself . I only hope he now has more sympathy for victims of unjust accusations, particularly of the sexual nature.

In his interview on TV I empathised with him as he spoke of the anguish he felt at being called a pervert. The pain on his face expressed more than his words.

When I was falsely accused of abusing my own child, I received a lot of support from both male and female friends. They would say to me “don’t worry mate we know you are a good father” I was therefore surprised by the negative impact it still had upon me. Without support I fear I would not be here today.

I believe there should be :

1. More done to stop false accusation (greater penalties for the accuser)

2. Support for the accused from government agencies. This support should continue for
the innocent until recovery is assured.

3. A study to be carried out on the effect these malicious & false accusations have on males.

4. The results of this study to be used in the educational process of all Government Agencies.

12 Responses to “Yes David, isn’t it your worst Nightmare!!!!!!”

  1. Alastair says:

    Wouldn’t it be nice to have a ministry of mens affairs to promote these issues at the highest levels

  2. julie says:

    All this accusing a male of sexually abusing their children only came to my attention 6 months ago. An ex of a male friend of mine told me of her child being abused by her ex which was a friend of mine. it was a very difficult situation because she challenged me for allowing this man with my children. i told her i had no problem with this man being around my boys and that he was actually helping by being a role model and they were able to talk to him about things they couldn’t talk to me as i am a female.

    So i looked into this type of situation and found that, (you will freak)90% of women acuse their males of this sort of behaviour to gain custody.

    This information was found from a good source.

    I guess

  3. julie says:

    The ‘I guess’ is not part of the comment. My girlfriend was on the phone.

  4. Al D Rado says:

    ? Benedek and Schetky (1985). 55% false allegations in custody cases
    ? Besharov (1985). 1975: 35% of child abuse allegations unsubstantiated; 1985: 65% of all reports of child abuse (nation-wide) prove to be unfounded.
    ? Besharov & Laumann (1996). “Nation-wide [USA], between 60 and 65 % of all reports [of child abuse] are closed after an initial investigation determines that they are ‘unfounded’ or ‘unsubstantiated’.”
    ? Brant & Sink (1984). 75% false allegations in custody/access cases
    ? Coleman (1990). Rate of false allegations unknown but there is substantial evidence that false allegations are not rare.
    ? Everson & Boat (1989). 4.7 to 7.6% of all reports are false allegations
    ? Green (1986). 36% false allegations in custody cases
    ? Hall (1995). Study examined children’s disclosures of sexual abuse over period of 4 years at Christchurch Evidential Interviewing Unit (CYPS) from 1990 – 1993. Outcome of 1577 children’s interviews were examined. Children’s age ranged from 2 to 17 years. 50% disclosed sexual abuse; 30% no disclosure and no evidence noted; 11% situations not able to be clarified; 7% no disclosure but remained suspicious; 0.2% false allegations. [Note: There is often a differentiation made between substantiated and false allegations – the latter term is used only when there is overwhelming evidence that the allegation was untrue. In this case 30% had no disclosure and no evidence, but these cases are not classified as false allegations.]
    ? Horowitz et al. (1994). Found 16 (9%) out of 181 cases of allegations were highly unlikely. Children who directly made the false allegations tended to be intelligent, members of high socio-economic families, made most serious charge (i.e. intercourse) against family member.
    ? Paradise (1989). 65% false positives when assessing penetration; 73% false positives when assessing digital penetration.

    “Sex abuse allegations that arise in the intrafamilial situation have a high likelihood of being valid … In contrast, sex abuse allegations made in the context of child custody disputes (especially those that are litigated viciously) have a high likelihood of being false”.
    “An accusation of sex abuse can be a very effective method of wreaking vengeance on a hated spouse and will certainly speed up the court’s dealing with the case. The accusation may result in immediate cessation of visitation by the accused”.
    Pg 3-4, Sex Abuse Hysteria — Richard A Gardner, M.D.
    “Of all the accusations that an irate mother could make against her despised husband, a sex abuse allegation proved to be the most devastating. The wrath of the judge was predictably invoked, and immediate cessation of visitation became the order of the day”.
    “Pending a plenary hearing … the mother could “retrench”, strengthen her bonds with the children (uncontaminated by the father’s intrusions), and strengthen thereby her position when the case finally came to trial”.
    Pg 24, Sex Abuse Hysteria — Richard A Gardner, M.D.

  5. Stephen says:

    Unlike some with only a purely academic interest in the topic I believe I can speak with some real authority about how it is to have been on the recieving end of false accusations of child abuse by a maliciously ex-wife. I can empathise with fathers who’ve been wrongly and malliciously accused of child abuse.

    I know I’ve mentioned these things in other threads on this site in the past, but there may be more recent readers for whom what I’m going to spell out may prove valuable.

    Here are some effects I’ve noticed ->

    Depression and self medicating drug use as a coping strategy (perhaps that wasn’t the smartest strategy devised but it was effective as I’m still here).

    Sleep disturbance – nightmares and occasionally waking up crying to find my pillow wet from having been crying in my sleep.

    Anniversary feelings of depression alongside recurring contemplation of suicide – especially
    at what used to formerly be special family times like Christmas, my son’s birthday, my birthday, Father’s day, Easter and Guy Fawke’s day.

    Fear of and lack of trust towards Western women.
    Despondency about the chances of finding a good Western woman to partner with, especially in NZ.

    Being badly abused by my ex-wife’s false accusation – which was so solidly and horrifically backed by unjust societal sanction in the form of the NZ Family court – which then led to the alienation of my son I still struggle to trust ANY NZ institution.

    I’m understandably vigillant against institutional abuse and my trust in NZ people overall is much less than previous. I used to consider myself a proud Kiwi – not these days –
    Overtaxed femmy state – shove it where the sun doesn’t shine….

    Having my only child taken from me means unlike those of you who can reasonably look forward to an old age with the support of a son or daughter – I have no such prospect. This colors my attitude towards life enormously.
    I have become a much more cynical and self centred/self contained person as a result.

    If there’s Dad out there (or genuine supporter of one) who wants advice about how I survived this ghastly ordeal and now live with a modicum of hope and contentment I’d be happy to respond.

  6. Peter Burns says:

    I celebrate 5 years on police bail and court supervision. I have meet 25 different judges because of false allegations . I have been forced psychotropic medication ( needle ) ,suited up with a straight jacket and put in round cell all because of false allegations of DV & sexual abuse.I know and feel your pain Stephen as I know, like you know – how destructive false allegations can be . Benson I am not the Pope but rather a feminazi lap dog DOPE would’nt have a bloody clue about the evil of false allegations. Police have me down for Court March 13 -more lies & corruption and I expect to go down again!!!! F..K I hate this country!!!!

  7. julie says:

    I looked today to see if any one else commented after me as i thought later that i might bring male’s anger forward and maybe something worse.

    I really like the statistic follow-up and am sad for the pain it causes. (through Peter’s comment)

    I know these things happen now and feel somewhat ashamed being a women.

    It is amazing I was telling another guy how we can love someone so much one minute and then hate them the same the next.

    As bad as this sort of consequence is for having and loving a child we all need to remember that our lives are worth living and our children will figure it out for themselves one day.

    This seems to be the only thing I can think of saying.

    But I want you to know that not all women do such horrible things.

    For generations past and generations forward happiness and pain will be a fact of life.

  8. Stephen says:

    Julie,
    You say –

    “we all need to remember that our lives are worth living and our children will figure it out for themselves one day”.

    I disagree with you on both counts here.
    I reckon some folks don’t consider thier lives worth living, and we need to respect that’s thier view, not condescendingly insist we know what’s best for them. There’s far too much Nanny state as it is IMO.
    Also I’m not so certain as you appear to be that our children will figure out they’ve been duped into alienating thier fathers. I rather suspect some will die fools instead. I say that because a lot of folks seem to die in denial about one thing or another as it is I reckon.

    I do agree with you that not all women do such horrible things as alienating thier children from thier own father.
    What troubles me a great deal however is the MASSIVE SILENCE amongst NZ women about such abusiveness of thier sisters. Where’s women’s outrage about how children suffer from fatherlessness! Women – supposedly ‘the caring gender’. Yeah right.

    I’m sure I’m not the only Kiwi guy who needs to see a great deal more ACTION (not just pretty words)on the part of NZ womenfolk to feel convinced that there’s anything more than rare instances of compassion amongst thier numbers for thier mensfolk. By the way I’m not talking here of small acts of kindness done by individual women for individual men though.
    I’m talking here about NZ women actually caring enough about thier menfolk to get the bigger picture and assist menfolk to get justly deserved rights. You know, like women have been harping on about for themselves for 40 odd years?

    Sadly I need to say I see quite the converse.
    I see too much of women narcicistically mall guzzling and being sychophants who play lipservice to loving men, yet turning as you courageously admit to hatred, and worse still to mindgames and shafting menfolk when they can’t get thier own way with them.
    I don’t balme women entirely for this set up though. As the old saying goes ‘it takes two to Tango’. For thier part I reckon alot of guys put up with shit from womenfolk because they’re pussywhipped and thinking with thier dicks. More than a few are also puffing themselves up playing the chivalric big man role whilst overlooking men’s plight.

    Too bad I say.

    To those of you men in NZ with the wherewithall to leave for greener (as in male friendly pastures) I say go for it mate! WHY live in a feminist la-la-land shithole when you could be elsewhere actually being valued?

    To the women of NZ I say it’s a crying shame you’re so selfishly ignorant of your mensfolk’s lot. So full of the ‘Me generation’ writ large that you’re pathetically, passively disinclined to be actively supportive of men’s family, relationship and welfare rights.
    And many of you wonder why you can’t get a good bloke!

  9. Al D Rado says:

    Sad, but we guys all suffer so alone.
    We don’t have the benefit of girl’s networks, for a host of reasons.
    I too will meet with any man who cares to meet. My disposition has given me strength.
    No David BP can’t fully understand. He’s just scratched the tip of the iceberg.
    Julie – I have mountains of research; trouble is, it counts for nought within the Family Court.

    It’s worse now that laws changed (1/7/05).
    It’s no longer ‘best interests’ of the child – it’s paramount importance.
    Any risk is too great a risk.

    Watch this space – allegations in Family Court will rise.

  10. Moose says:

    This website should give you guys something to think about

    http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_100/113_dating_advice.html

  11. Al D Rado says:

    Unfortunately, the law allows people to say what they want in Family Court with impunity.
    Yes, perhaps people should be prosecuted for false allegations – wasting court time.
    Perhaps the substantive standard in Family Court – at least for full hearings – should be upgraded to the ‘beyond reasonable doubt’.
    How about consistency? To say there is ‘a risk’ of harm (sexual, violent, psychological, disciplinary etc) to the child that they must be protected against, should be applied to every aspect of the child’s life
    – There is a risk they could choke on food and die.
    – there is a risk that they could drown in the bathtub.
    – there is a risk that the day-to-day caregiver (formerly the custodial parent) could crash their car, killing or miaming all on board.

    But of course none of these risks are considered. Only those risks the (usually) mother cares to dredge up against the (usually) father, in order to remove him from any active parenting role of the child they both chose to procreate.

    As mentioned, anything can be alleged in court.
    However, mention it out on the street, and it becomes slander. Put it in writing and it is libel.
    I think there is a ‘they must tell three people’ rule before it is deemed ‘public’, and of course, you’d have to be wallowing in the green stuff to afford to sue them.
    But a few high profile cases would give false accusers everywhere something to think about.
    And if you did sue them, what about suing for loss of enjoyment of life, and other personal damages?

  12. triassic says:

    Comment # 10, I looked up the link and whilst I found it interesting I was disapointed not to find the Noun RESPECT anywhere. A relationship just will not work without this. It seems to be lacking everywhere in society and probably needs redefining in order that it practised once again.

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