Being gentle men
I help out in a support agency for men, I support and encourage them, I help also in management of this group. I have been through hell and ten years of theraputic personal work, and I am not stopping that any time soon, the rewards are too great. Why do it, why put myself through it?
For the men, thats why – for all men, for me primarily, because the range and extent of people our agency sees is huge, as is the range of injury to the soul/emotional body.
There are people from all walks and places in their lives, most of whom recognise they have a problem and want to change something in their lives. Invariably they learn and take something with them into relationships and life in general. There is a flow on in the lives of others, be it their partners, children, freinds, or workmates.
Theres a notion that it is “pussy” to be gentle but let me assure you it sure isn’t. To actually change and learn new strategies for dealing with confrontation or disagreement is hell scary.
To face myself helped me face all comers. I make no apology for congratulating and supporting our men who facilitate these changes, and the brave men who make these changes in their lives. It is no easy road.
Here’s the rub: what point is there in men going through this change alone, if feminism has done much for women and will no doubt continue to do so, the state of our men is lagging desparately behind? Our mental emotional and physical health, are they sidelined and if so why? Yet there is so little available for men specifically. Things are improving, but there is still a ways to go. There is apparantly little research into how men are in our country. Sad isn’t it? Our stats in so many areas are so sad, yet little is done to redress it.
I personally found so much has been related to my personal journey as a man in terms of how I feel in relation to the world. It has given strengths that amaze me even today. We are told to walk the talk by some agencies. I agree to some extent, and in some ways disagree. We need to walk the talk, and we neeed to do it as men. And we need places and help to do that. So that in many cases we heal wounds that may have made us wound. To find our strength in our emotional health.
Back to healthy relationships and selves. Maybe its our time to lead in a new direction.
Unless we actively attend to ourselves, our society is in danger. Men as fathers brother uncles granddads and freinds are critical to society. We do this by infusing healthy male energy into our worlds and the worlds of coming generations. If we do this, if we as men remain men and learn new strength, we can remain steadfast in our masculinity.
If we remain steadfast to our masculinity and show we can live without violence, without control, and without manipulation, and yet stand our ground in family, work, court, political situations then there is no way we can be stopped. Our world will become better, the world we leave will become greater because we passed by.
Remember the good and strong men who have lived. Don’t buy into and focus on the negative press. Be a man and be proud. Hold your grace, dignity, manliness and do so in the manner of a man. Do this in all places at all times. If you do you will be rewarded – believe me. A world wothout strong men is no world at all.