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The system working as it should!

Filed under: Law & Courts,Sex Abuse / CYF — JohnPotter @ 4:04 pm Sat 24th September 2005

A new wave of JUSTICE.

After 2.5 yrs of litigation concerning a prenup contract and 3 court hearings with my ex wife, I won my case and was left with a bill of $160K. To my dismay my child’s mother then sold her home and moved to another town against my wishes and without court approval. I was forced to apply to the court to have my daughter returned.

In order to have this process halted my ex wife laid a complaint to Child Youth & Family Services (CYFS) that I had been performing sexual acts in front of my daughter and inappropriately touching her. This devastated me. The court was forced to halt my application and suspend contact with my daughter except under supervision until an investigation was undertaken.

These investigations can sometimes take more than six months to be completed….. However this wise Judge smelt a rat and she demanded the investigation to be completed in just 3 weeks!!!!.

The case was heard last Friday and to my surprise and delight I was not only cleared of all suspicion but was granted the return of my daughter to Auckland. With it was the order to now have equal time with her. The cherry on the top was the bollocking the Judge gave my ex wife for lying on the stand, attempting to manipulate the court via devious means and alienating a child from its father.

It is my hope that this will now end what has been 3 years of hell for me. The worst part has been the feeling that the system had no concern for fathers & therefore no genuine concern for the child.

The sun is shinning again!!!!



  1. Congratulations Bruce as your story of heartbreak gives me insipiration that my major depressive episode is finally going to a 3 day hearing end of November . I am desperate to cuddle my 12 & 10 year old daughters that were stolen from life in 2001 after false allegations of sexual abuse arose. Thank you for giving me the glimmer of hope that the truth can prevail in family court.Its fighters like you that make the mens movement worthwhile, and give Dads’ a good name . Take care mate and thank you as I reckon I might get to see the sun shine on me soon ?
    Kind regards – Peter

    Comment by Peter Burns — Sat 24th September 2005 @ 8:38 pm

  2. Bruce,
    Sorry to burst the bubble mate. I reckon the system didn’t work as it should –
    as I’ll explain.

    I commend the judge for seeing to it that you’re getting 50% contact with your daughter (and goodonya for fighting so hard)

    However I’m appalled that your X only got a verbal ticking off from the judge. It is terrible that women can blatantly commit purjery in the court and suffer no criminal conviction!
    Holy shit! As a bloke, if I did similar to your X, I’d expect to be prosecuted in no uncertain terms.
    I’m afraid Misandry raises it’s ugly head yet again in the NZ femily caught.

    Comment by Stephen — Sat 24th September 2005 @ 11:27 pm

  3. good luck matey
    i went through some of the same evil stupidity from 1992 to 1998 but kept my son and he is now embarking on his final high school year and great prospects for a professional career . his mother has given nearly zero care and encouragement over the years and i shudder to think what might have happened. needless to say IT WAS WORTH IT !!!!!!

    Comment by David — Sun 25th September 2005 @ 9:55 am

  4. Congratulations Bruce. I too went through a similar thing in the 90’s- I was advised by a lawyer to plead guilty, as conviction was automatic, and this would reduce the sentance.
    In the event, my daughter (the alleged victim) destroyed the case when she was allowed to speak.
    My advice now is:-
    As your ex is clearly not a fit parent, you should immediately apply for custody, on the basis of your child(ren)’s best interests. With your ex as custodial parent, your children will be subject to parental alienation, and have to live with constant conflict, and probably have their father shut out of their lives, whereas with you as custodial parent, they will be able to have unrestricted access to both parents.
    Go for it NOW (Wish I had) Regards John

    Comment by John Brett — Sat 1st October 2005 @ 8:39 am

  5. I doubt that any judge who gives a lying scumbag X a mere verbal ticking off for wasting court time and taxpayer’s money to try to alienate a girl from her dad is going to award custody to the dad.
    I’m afraid the judge seems so misandrist and stupidly chivalric it will only lead to more legal expenses and further disgraceful manipulation from the X.
    Go ahead and prove me wrong, but for what it’s worth that’s how I see it.

    Comment by Stephen — Sat 1st October 2005 @ 4:04 pm

  6. Stephen, you are quite right in calling my x a scum bag. However that is a very narrow description for the behaviour from a very sick woman. Whilst she has made my life a misery over the last three years she also supplies a high degree of security and love to my most precious possession, namely our child. I am no angel and admit that I have wished my X dead on more than one occasion but my love for our daughter exceeds my hate for her.

    As for the Judge Hearing this case, I expected that she would look to the interests of the child as a paramount concern. That’s what she did; to have punished the mother would have certainly punished the child. Could she have done more to stop future false claims? Would I have received more of a hiding if the roles were reversed? The answer maybe yes but it doesn’t change the fact that the result I got was a big improvement on the past.

    I always preach and expect personal responsibility from others so I have to acknowledge that I chose this woman as a partner and couldn’t or wouldn’t see the deficiencies in her personality. No judge can ever save us entirely from our bad decisions.


    Comment by Bruce — Mon 3rd October 2005 @ 6:38 pm

  7. Hi Bruce,

    The old – if you punish the mother you punish the child at the same time logic appears to overlook IMO one mightily important thing. Letting mothers behave illegally and imorally with impunity sends a powerful wrong signal.
    For whilst I believe you’re correct to say we should hold ourselves responsible for having chosen women who turn out to be abusive, by the same token I’m afraid accepting judges treating lying emotionally abusive women with kid gloves sets the tone for how women treat men in relationships in NZ.
    I for one then, want women who lie in court to be punished – exactly as I’d expect to be if I stooped to such terrible behaviour. Anything less I fear sets NZ men up for further abusive oppression.

    Comment by Stephen — Mon 3rd October 2005 @ 11:14 pm

  8. good on ya m8 no matter how long it takes; its worth it.i would also try and get the moo cow to pay costs at least best luck Alf

    Comment by alf — Mon 10th October 2005 @ 3:28 pm

  9. 3 cheers for you.
    I truly congratulate you.

    I’ve just had a “I find no evidence of sexual abuse” finding – but still deemed fit for only ongoing supervised access.

    Comment by Al D Rado — Fri 18th November 2005 @ 2:28 pm

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