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Anti Femenism in New Zealand

Filed under: General — Julie @ 4:30 pm Mon 20th November 2006

Femenism is New Zealand has gone too far. Yes, Yes, Yes.

I have to share my day with you all. I am starting to get some important support from women. Infact, I did that little stamping of the feet in happiness, 1,2,3,4 saying, “You said, YET!”

I got the ‘not yet’ but what it is really saying is that I need to do more work and me means you also. And that means the NZ Herald as we got the other day. If you are wondering why we got the NZ Herald the other day then maybe it might be because Menz was searched alot recently because of a scare “Medics anxious over Menz B doco documentory done by 20/20.” And JohnP is doing his best to keep us numbert 1 for google.

I have even noticed the faces on the media trying to ‘not be biased.’

But I learn’t alot today. Part of me wants to thank-you all for putting up with me because I know I have not been easy to convince (especially my favorite Stephen who is not too old and ugly) and the other part wants to tell you others that Helen Clarke will never read your letters. If she is not the most femenist female in NZ then she is one of the biggest. Always has been. But most of you knew that. Damn.

I cannot confirm her being a lesbian though. That is still gossip.

But these women that ‘burnt their bras’ mean’t well. Unfortunately as Stephen always said, they will have boys whether directly or as Grandparents. The next generation has to balance what they did to their extreme.

There is a real life gap between these women and the women today. Some of these women have given their lives to a wonderful cause of freeing women from violence and made the femenist movement in the best of intentions and I as a female will not forget what they have done. But we have gone too far. It is straightforward. You men are paying for our freedom.

So, this is where we as males and females work together. It does come down to your gifts, my gifts, your weaknesses and my weaknesses. We have to compliment each other.

We have much more support than you know. Let’s not give up. Please keep posting and writing your letters. Not only are the charity groups a good idea to talk to but please consider that more than 60% of the people living in NZ are not born in NZ. They have no idea of femenism.


  1. Very frustrating when a post doesn’t actually post – I won’t bother writing it out again in full.

    But I would like to note a certain tendency in the quality of posting on this site – a particular hostility and ‘poor men’ attitude – often seeming subscribed to by the very same decrying that self-same attitude in the opposite sex.

    We have a very great opportunity in our generations to guide our society to something by far better than it was and is – one which might actually see and treat men and women as equals instead of enemies.

    We men have already reaped so many rewards fought for by those same rabid anti-male feminists which many now accuse.

    I think some men’s anger – anger which I have felt so strongly myself – risks pulling us backward.

    Look forward – not backward.

    And, frankly, quite crying like babies – flippin harden up :p

    Life’s hard – if you don’t like, try changing it for the better – instead of whining and crying on the internet and spread more hate.

    We all bleed red after-all.

    Comment by Kai — Mon 20th November 2006 @ 5:35 pm

  2. Kai,

    I shared my heart out on another comment you wrote. And I like that you are here.

    What I don’t understand is what you are saying?

    We have a very great opportunity in our generations to guide our society to something by far better than it was and is – one which might actually see and treat men and women as equals instead of enemies.

    I agree with you. But don’t you think that maybe, just maybe there is more to this equality than you realise. Don’t you know that maybe the wheels of evolution have turned against men?

    Comment by julie — Mon 20th November 2006 @ 6:15 pm

  3. hey kai “Life’s hard – if you don’t like, try changing it for the better – instead of whining and crying on the internet and spread more hate”Spoken like a true novice should I say. A person who hasn’t had any experience in “trying to change it for the better” when it comes to family law and its processes and are yet to realise that the processes in place are make such changes for the better damn near impossible. Changes which would benefit the society as a whole are being inhibited to the extreme by the xtremists.

    Comment by starR — Mon 20th November 2006 @ 6:42 pm

  4. I’ll try typing my response again!

    Julie – thank-you for your input.

    Assuming I take your meaning correctly – I do not believe history is inevitable even if it does present a considerable inertia.


    It may surprise you I have a considerable experience with such matter s – being associated with a particularly experience criminal and family lawyer and spent about 1/4 of my life in litigation variously attempting to enforce both my rights and those of my child and to disprove cyncical accusations made against me. The cost could have paid for me to undertake several degrees + purchase a house + travel around the world for several years.

    I have experienced several advisory services to the FC with-hold evidence and otherwise knowingly provide false witness – one of which is currently an ongoing complaint/investigation against/by CYFS and the Commissioner for Children.

    Frankly, I feel as if I have tried to push sh*t up hill – but may as well have been p*ssing in the wind.

    I am now exhausted and deeply depressed.

    However, one thing I am certain of, is that responding with hate and vitriole and yet more sexism is not only not- useful but certainly counter-productive.

    I want my son to grow up with the opportunity to live and develop in a society which both respects him and allows him similar opportunities as it would allow a woman.

    There are some things I can do to help this happen – and some things which would certainly not.

    Comment by Kai — Mon 20th November 2006 @ 11:13 pm

  5. Kai,

    I hear your reasoning that being anti on a whole is not productive. (unless of course we can get half the nation protesting alongside the father’s coalition or less will do it)

    But, I too have been a victim to this femenism and I have had enough anger in myself to strap 12 bombs to my body and walk into parliament, blowing them and myself sky high. My anger had to be expressed in another form and for male’s having all this pressure to not speak out, not react, do nothing but be good little boys would be something I can only imagine as the worse thing possible for everyone. And I don’t like at all that men are killing themselves instead of expressing it. Just look at our young men on the streets. Do you know there was a time when schools understood males and they had a wall for them to take their anger out on. Much like a punching bag.

    This site and everything else that is being done will be done for the males and if they lose it then so be it. I sure have lost it at times. (I used to say what you are saying but I have been here longer than you and know better now)

    You have to let them express their anger and if it is to be expressed here then that is OK with everyone who is a part alongside you.

    Would you not prefer a male to post hate for females here rather than killing himself?

    Comment by julie — Tue 21st November 2006 @ 7:01 am

  6. If the choice is as black and white as either posting ‘female hate’ and killing oneself, I would hardly be sympathetic.

    Since when could sexism, racism and suchlike be excused by weakness?

    There are far better ways of dealing with anger than simple minded abuse.

    This disparity in gender politics is the self-same abuse that many resort to.

    Many people reading might agree that racist abuse is not right – so why would sexist abuse be right? Whatever the excuse.

    There is a great difference between being abusive, and simply expressing anger, or even noting certain realities.

    Comment by Kai — Tue 21st November 2006 @ 1:15 pm

  7. Kai,

    You say,

    There are far better ways of dealing with anger than simple minded abuse.

    Yes, that sounds reasonable. But when you are in a situation when you are powerless being reasonable year after year when you are innocent is hard to be.

    I had a male cry in my arms the other week while he showed me the texts his ex-wife sent to him saying she was sorry for lying about domestic violence in court. He spent years defending these charges just so he could be a father to his son. Now after 7 years she realises that her son needs his father and wants for him to not tell their child what she did. She said she was afraid he would take their son and that is why she lied. This case was massive. She is one of NZ best artists.

    Then he showed me pictures on his phone of the first weekend he spent with his son, paint balling and doing other guy stuff. He will stand by her because he is loyal but he will never be OK as a person because he is ‘male and expected to be a cetain way in society.’

    You seem to have got through somehow OK but there are thousands of your brothers that are damaged with addiction and fearful of relationships because of what has happened to them.

    They must be set free. They must know it was not of their doing and given the tools to become the best that they can be. NZ has to start caring for it’s males. It is their human right to have a fair chance in this world.

    Comment by julie — Tue 21st November 2006 @ 2:08 pm

  8. I agree – perhaps I should reconsider my stance on the particular expression of anger – afterall everyone needs to vent sometimes.

    Further considering my fortune to be associated with a number of woman whose example was most positive.

    I can better imagine that anyone lacking that might be challenged in respect of attitude harder than I.

    Comment by Kai — Tue 21st November 2006 @ 4:27 pm

  9. Kai,

    I will not negotiate. You seem to me to be educated and your education is losing me. I feel as if you are talking in riddles.

    I can better imagine that anyone lacking that might be challenged in respect of attitude harder than I.

    What are you saying?

    Comment by julie — Tue 21st November 2006 @ 7:03 pm

  10. Sorry for bad wording.

    I mean, I can imagine that other people – who didn’t have such good role-models – might find it more of a challenge to retain a balanced view of women.

    If I didn’t have some role-models to show me that there ARE women who are essentially decent people, with no interest in petty gender politics, my recent experience might suggest that women in general are some-kind to feel hostility toward.

    Comment by Kai — Tue 21st November 2006 @ 9:33 pm

  11. Kai,

    Thanx for clarifying that. There are heaps of good women but this move into making them aware that men are bad is corrupting them. Every time we seem to go for some kind of balance these radicals rear their ugly head and like a dense mist over the country they manipulate all the groups they have under their funding control. (Heaps and heaps almost all) The next minute all these women are being told that they have to protect themselves and their children even more from pre-schools to all women centres. And it has seaped into our primary and secondary education system which is corupting both our sexes from a young age.

    I was discussing this problem with someone yesterday and it is as if we are only pawns to these people. They get funding to make us unwell, then they get funding to make us well. The only problem is that we are not getting well in general for more than a year.

    And then because we are not caring for our young teenagers they are in trouble and we have no funding for them because this counrty cannot collect more taxes. The workers are hurting and their families are struggling. It will all come to head all by itself if we let it but then it is our own personal choice to step in our out.

    I know we cannot take down femenism but we can be a ripple effect that will at some stage become something bigger.

    Comment by julie — Wed 22nd November 2006 @ 7:13 am

  12. kai…
    its not about hate and vitriole and sexism.. rather it is more to do with down to earth ethical conduct which has faded.

    take for instance a separation/ divorce.. even if one of the parties act ethically there is always the other to take advantage of this and go right down dirty and vindictive. There is no concern for the kids by the this vindictive person although they are good at pretending and using emotions to their advantage. Majorly this person is often a female.And from your experience you would know that the systems or should i say the employees of the judicial system in FC automatically have a biased attitude towards any male figure. this person has to jump through hoops to probably get an hours time with his kids when NATURAL LAW has given him a natural right to his child and the child a natural right to the father. The courts often undermines and overlooks this when all the father is often looking for is having A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS KIDS. TheAlthough there is a lot of words bandied in court about childs best interest, such is really not the case. I have yet to meet a person in a high judicial position who can explain to me why he or she thinks a fathers right to his kid should be reduced and a childs right to the father reduced as well in cases of separation. If the courts enforced a common ethical behaviour with penalties for the game playing that happens than the situation would be more amicable.BUT SUCH WILL NOT BE.

    Comment by starR — Wed 22nd November 2006 @ 3:51 pm

  13. how will removing a father or even reducing him from the life events of his kids is beneficial to the kid is yet a question to be anwered and often ignored.

    Comment by starR — Wed 22nd November 2006 @ 3:59 pm

  14. Starr,

    It doesn’t matter if you change the law and make a 50/50 right for the child to spend time with both parents.

    Now we have a problem with high society or good earning women turning to women’s refuges and the like.

    They are turning there because they know that the male will get the children if he has been the most at home father.

    They have to use the DV act to get their children. If they don’t then they will be paying child support to the man which is not something they like to do. Women are much more conscious of where the money goes than men are. Men just go and earn it. The women still call the shots (often) in the home when it comes to budgeting . Men only start speaking up in most times when the women are spending out of control and they see that their expenses are more than their earnings. Sometimes they take extra jobs to satisfy the women and children’s needs or they come to their senses and question why they are paying for toys that are beyond neccessity or where is their future really going.

    Comment by julie — Wed 22nd November 2006 @ 5:06 pm

  15. I reread what I said and realise that 50/50 would be the best solution.

    God damn it. Jim Bailey is so, so, so right and yet he is such an ‘out there protester.’ I guess as much as I don’t want to be a radical, I have no choice. Radicals are the ones that make a difference not the moderators.

    Comment by julie — Wed 22nd November 2006 @ 5:10 pm

  16. all right. to accept your argument of paying child support and i do.. what if this were abolished… just a thought i know it won’t happen- what do you then think the reaction will be? or better yet to take into account money involved in raising a child- both parents were made to contribute equally to an account accessible by the child when of relevant age regadless of who has custody. Or even better during separation, divorce the child from both parents (yeh i know being an extremist here) and both pay for upkeep of the child. tell you with these in place a whole lot of malicious behaviour would soon be put aside as they would not help the separants anyway. remove the issue that can be used fight over and play one-up, there will be nothing to fight over. everyone will behave themselves knowing they would then not be able to get much out of it. Only then will true focus be on the child. only then will the true parent be highlighted. and onbly then will there be focus on whats truly beneficial for the child and not get ignored as it is nowaadays although a lot of words is thrown in the air that “its in the best ineterst of the child”.

    Comment by starR — Wed 22nd November 2006 @ 6:28 pm

  17. Starr,

    Do you really trust that people will behave themselves? No, for human beings are just as greedy and crazy as they were in the beginning of time for our species.
    What I am seeing is couples work it out themselves as parents after time which could be many years but they seem to get sick of fighting or realise their own faults and responsibility to their children and each other.

    Child Support is not really compulsory. Some folk work things out without involving Inland Revenue.

    For others, I would not recommend a bank account where they both have to consent because this can be used as a tool to hurt each other and what you might think important to use the money for, I might not. So where do we go from there?

    And I don’t know whether we could both contribute the same amount.

    But we do need some sort of structure regarding child support. Gee, I have only stopped paying child support in the last year while I had both my boys in my care. My ex and I had to both pay to the state as neither of us had custody. No-one ever cared that we had them for long periods of time during that time.

    But if they were to care that would mean a whole lot of paper work, wages etc.

    I think there needs to be some sort of means test, I suppose. There needs to be consideration for people to have day-to-day care and temporary care and pay for their own lives.

    The Government will never get men or women to work for something that is not real to them. Not for 19 years. They should have seen this coming. Most people that I know of don’t want to work overtime when an extra % of their money is for taxes and child support. It is not worth it for them.
    In fact, why bother work just become another person who plays the system, has no shame or pride and no direction in life.

    I find it quite funny sometimes (although it is far from funny) when I tell the older generation how this generation does life. They get so angry.

    Comment by julie — Wed 22nd November 2006 @ 10:07 pm

  18. Guys,

    I hope I am not sounding like I have answers for everything or that I am becoming a control freak.

    I had just recently moved house and only after 2 weeks my son came home beaten up over a cap. He had to go to school the next day with a black eye and bad leg to play in the band in front of the school. Then I find that most of my neighbours do not let their boys out of house. So, I am very worried for Christmas Holidays in NZ.

    The communities need to pull together and I am going to nag them about this. So I am on my high horse (which believe me is not what I thought I’d be doing at this stage in my life) but it needs to be done for the whole communities sake.

    Comment by julie — Thu 23rd November 2006 @ 8:50 am

  19. dear people,
    kai you have posted the most intelligent non sensationalised and generalised comments on this site in a long time. Yes there are some nasty vindictive women who will use womens rights sevices abusivly for their own gains. BUT womens shelters are nessecary! NOT say any more nessecary than protection agencys for men, i work in the emergency ward of the hospital, and on a regular basis see battered women with internal bleeding and cracked skulls etc.. caused by the ‘bash’ with a blunt object. ARE YOU PEOPLE DEFENDING THIS???? is it alright for a womens husband to take out his frustrations, anger and show hes the man????? hes tough because he can seriously and sometimes fatally injure his girlfriend/wife. WHAT A F**ken loser.Its true some women do abuise the pro female bias in the family courts etc.. THIS is the problem it SHOULD BE stoped. FATHERS should have equal parenting opportunites. CHILDRENS INTERESTS should come first. this is what is important not snarky bitter derogitory slander against all of women kind. Trying to put women into a box of good or bad is not ofor anyone to do. EVERY man, women and child should be given the opportunity to live THEIR LIFE according to their choices. men and women need to respect eachother. its amazing there is such contempt for women in general in this site. therte also seems to be a major contradiction: first we hear of these vindictive slags spending all their husbands money, then we hear of these cold hearted ‘career women’. what is that excactly? im a women i have a job, quite a good job at that , i also have a three year boy and husband of five years who happens to less than i do. he loves his job and does have chip off his shoulder, we love each other and our little boy…… This is not a gender issue it a decency issue respect yourself and your family respect them for who they are. dont lump them into a category of useless bastard or vindictive cow because of whats in between their legs. It is SO SO SO petty and low. Keep fighting to right wrongs against men but dont sink so low as to sterotype and put down women after all it is your mother, sister and DAUGHTER you are talking about.

    Comment by katie — Wed 13th December 2006 @ 2:08 pm

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