ANZAC; why I wouldn’t die for this Counrty.
Police are on the front line when it comes to dealing with volatility in relationships so one would think that they would be given special training with regards to inflaming situations by making decisions that lack any intelligence.
This appears however, not to be the case. I have found that whilst the police do not have the power to convict they do have the power to abuse their position. Driven by bigotry and prejudice they can make your life a misery. They know that putting you into the system, by laying charges , is going to cost you money and stress over a considerable length of time. Without any evidence and in a situation where it is evident that a complainant has been involved in previous false allegations against me, a police woman, Constable Low from the Manurewa Enquiry Section, proceeded to charge me with threatening to Injure.
In April last year my ex wife lost her fight to have our prenuptial over turned ( this is a story in it self and it cost me over $150K to defend) She immediately moved away from Auckland to another town against my and the courts wishes.
I filed for my Childs return and went to serve the papers on her. Her new boyfriend became aggressive towards me and threatened me in front of a witness.
Months later in July, only a few days before the case was heard, I was advised that a complaint was made to CYFS that I had sexually abused my child. This was dealt with efficiently by the court through Judge Clarkson and I was cleared by CYFS. (Its so easy to write this but difficult to explain the emotional impact)
The court directed that my child was to live back in Auckland. And an appeal was lodge by her mother. We did change overs in MacDonald’s. In October, despite the previous confrontation with her boy friend my wife sent him on his own for the change over. He was rude and aggressive with me and my daughter became upset and did not want to go with him. It broke my heart to see her in this state. I rang her mother and suggested that her boyfriend should not be present at these changeovers.
Two weeks later at the changeover he was present again, sitting at a table with my child. Her mother was 15 meters away getting coffee.. Rather than to make a scene I decided I would get the court to stop him so I approached the table happy to see my daughter. When my daughter saw me she became distressed and crying said she did not want to go with me. She ran off crying to her mother. I was saddened and outraged at the same time. I reiterated to the boyfriend that he should not be there and he answered with some sarcastic remark.
I became enraged with his actions and my wife’s acceptance of it. I went up to the table he was sitting at and, controlling my wish to knock his block off, I gave him a piece of my mind expressing to him what I thought of him in the strongest terms I could get my mouth to speak, but I did NOT THREATEN HIM WITH INJURY. He in fact threatened to hit me if I did not move away from him. I then went over and picked up my child and left. As I left MacDonald’s he was laughing and yelling at me.
I heard nothing from the Police or anyone regarding this matter for nearly three months. Then, a few days before the court case in January, Constable Low came to my home and said she wished to interview me regarding this matter. I asked that the interview be videotaped.
She advised me that the boyfriend had made an allegation that I had threatened to “…. deal to you that you won’t see another day” He said that he and my ex wife were distressed and frightened at the time.
I vigorously denied that I had made that remark and told Low the history of the case. She appeared to be oblivious to anything I put forward. I told her that I had transcripts from the family court showing that he had been involved in false allegations. She proceeded to tell me that the family court has a lower level of proof (don’t we know it) and she therfore would only listen to facts!!!! (Helloooo anyone home) She told me that there was a witness to the incident, however, as he was deaf he only saw me leaning over the complainant. Low then stated that due to me having a firearms licence she deemed she had justification in assuming that I would carry out the alleged threat. Realising that this interview was 3 months after the alledged threat I became aware that either Constable Low was a complete moron or she had a hidden agenda. She then formally charged me.
The following day I was in family court on the relocation issue. My wife was in the witness box giving evidence when we had a morning break As I walked out of the court room I heard my ex say “Drop these proceedings and M*** will drop his”
I mentioned it to my lawyer and he questioned her on the stand. She denied saying anything to me at first but under intense pressure by counsel she eventually admitted the statement.
Constable Low rang me a few days later and I pleaded with her to reconsider laying the charge. She refused to do so and I then asked her if she was driven by an agenda, was she a feminist? The phone went dead for a few seconds then a torrent of anger came out. She said “you may be use to bossing women around but this is one you won’t” and she hung up the phone.
Now I knew my suspicions were correct….. My wife and she must have had some good sessions together and once again my wife had managed to convince some good hearted moron to take her side. The last one cost me $150K. which has left me financially exhausted and about to lose my home. The court decision has left my child (whilst temporary) in the another town. This means I don’t see my child as much. I will probably be convicted of this charge because it will be turned into a domestic situation (Man vs Woman) and this conviction will be used against me when a rehearing on custody is made.
I have lost faith in the system. In the last 4 years I have been thrown out of my home illegally. Forced to defend a prenuptial against absolutley ridiculous claims, twice. I have been accused of perpetrating violence against my child and wife with no substantial proof then when I want to defend, the charges are withdrawn. I have undergone humiliating allegations of a sexual nature against my child. I am now defending false allegations of threatening behaviour issued by the NZ police (and sanctioned by senior officers) whilst in reality I was just defending the rights of my child to have safe and undisturbed transitions between parents. (Even passive Jesus lost his cool when he saw traders desecrating the temple )
I have a friend who fought the fight for 14 yrs and the damage done to him is frightening. His children have told me that they wish he wasn’t so depressed all the time as it affects them.
In ignorance I believed NZ was a country that held the values of family as sacred. I was wrong; it is built on the values of feminism.
If I remain in NZ I can see more trouble for me, and worst of all terrible heartache . I have decided that my child will be better off with me being alive when she is a teenager than a depressed or a dead zombie. I have fought a good fight but I think I am too old for this shit.
It’s ANZAC day tomorrow and it saddens me that so many men died to defend this country because they believed that it provided a place for them and their children’s hopes and dreams which were almost always built around family. My Uncle will turn in his grave if he knows what has happened to me.
Men today are pariahs once they are separated from their wives.
I think you should hang in there, remain calm and defend the allegation vogorously. It must stand in your favour that there is a history of false allegations. Also I believe the Courts have to prove you made a threat, and i dont think they have that proof.
My ex laid allegations that I had attempted to strangle her, that I was drunk out of my mind and was going to kill myself by ramming my car into the nearest power pole. I was arrested a few hours later on drunk driving and assault charges, and under the Mental Health Act.
30 minutes later at the police station, the cops realised after two breath tests that I had had nothing at all to drink. They agreed when they stopped me, my driving had been perfect. I was rational, coherent and calm at all times. I displayed no signs of anger at all, and that was hard.
Two women from Mental Health grilled me for an hour. They told the cops they could find nothing wrong with me.
I then questioned the cops. I asked them to look at my hands and my face. They could not see the significance until I pointed out if I’d tried to strangle my wife twice a few hours earlier then surely she would have fought to protect herself and likely managed to at least scratch me. They reluctantly agreed.
I was on the offensive immediately, asking if they had seen signs of violence at my home, if there was bruising on my wife’s neck etc. The answers were no, no and no.
My wife made these allegations for only reasons…the custody of our beautiful 7 year old son, a wee guy who was born as a heart kid and almost died a couple of times.
My lawyer had a field day after acquiring the Police report and used it to defend other false allegations that I had shown no interest in my son, that I had allowed him to play adult computer games etc etc etc.
My wife was too scared to attend the Hearing even though the Judge was a woman! The woman judge was sympathetic to my case!!!!
I also had the help of my sons Court appointed lawyer, who was just a bloody godsend to me and my son. That man went áfter my wife and her female lawyer with a vengenge, and had my ex in tears, and her lawyer stumped! Imagine, a Court Appointed Lawyer who actually took an avid interest in my son’s life and my life.
Today I have shared custody and my beaut wee boy hates leaving me and my run down old house. He’s gonna be 9 next month and still hugs me to bits and sometimes cries when he has to leave me. Not to say he doesn’t love his mother because he does, but he prefers to be with his dad.
I fought and won, and the memories of the bad times still bring tears to my eyes. There was a time when I considered seriously leaving this country because of the fight ahead, and this bloody unfair Child Support (tax) system. But the very thought of not seeing my child again or playing any role in his upbringing prevailed.
There was also the horrendous thought that my son would grow up thinking that I had abandoned him, that I didnt love him and that he might otherwise grow up hating me or perhaps turning ‘bad’.
Sometimes the system works. Please consider your daughters welfare. Your ex’s boyfriend sounds like a right prick. So prove it, and win!
And next time you pick her up, probably pay to have a friend with you. Also Judith Collins (gulp) actually helped me, as did the MP’s I approached.
I hope this helps. I know what you are going through. Stay calm and relaxed in Court. Dont ever show the Court or the the stupid cops that u can lose your temper, no matter the allegations or attempts to rile you. And research the Policewomans history if u can.
Lastly, if u leave NZ, I think u will indeed become depressed and turn into the dead zombie.
You aint too old either…I am 52 in July. You want a friend…email me. I will help you if I can. Email me and I will give u my phone number. Its a bit like giving giving up smoking, u need support and buddies.
Comment by Morris Lindsay — Mon 24th April 2006 @ 9:48 pm
PS
I dont know if I am allowed to do this but i think u need some help so my email address is:-
[email protected] nz
Comment by Morris Lindsay — Mon 24th April 2006 @ 9:59 pm
I was thinking the exact same thoughts just the other day. Imagine the diggers turning in their graves over the state of the nation they gave their lives for.
Nice to hear a positive outcome Morris. All to rare. Maybe I will engage with my local MP for Mt Albert 😉 to help me in my quest for fairness. I can hear the groans of ironic laughter from here 😉
One very effective method I just starting using was a letter direct to the freak that is the mother of my daughter copied to hers and my lawyers. Far far cheaper than getting my lawyer to draft one up etc etc but everything is out there in the open and on file. Got results 1st time.
Comment by Mark Lloyd — Tue 25th April 2006 @ 8:19 am
In 1916 my great grandfather sailed on a troopship from Wellington. He survived six months at the western front before being killed at the Battle of the Somme. He left behind a wife and four children.
How strange that ninety years later a new fatherless generation of children has come into being, through such different circumstances. I wonder what my great grandfather would make of it all.
The men of his generation made such great sacrifices. Unlike them, we have peace and comfort. Like them, we seem to be disposable.
Comment by PaulM — Tue 25th April 2006 @ 10:31 am
He might say “you are asking yourself the wrong question.”
He might say “what did I go to fight against.”
Comment by Bevan Berg — Tue 25th April 2006 @ 11:07 am
Heres a anzac theme for you. Copied from The Naked Truth Post.
Bevan,
I think there are better opportunities overseas for Kiwis and that sooner or later something has to give and that men have an absolute right to persue happiness as women do.
So I am not against males moving overseas and I may suggest it myself. What I think should be added is that dads remember children’s birthdays, Christmas and Easter so the children know they are loved.
Comment by julie – Tue 25th April 2006 @ 7:58 am
I’m lost here Julie, are you tyring to be a provocative little bitch, or are you just the sort of women men on this site have no respect for. Why don’t you get really sadistic and produce miniature graves that little children can pin on their chest on Anzac day instead of a poppy, in remembrance of the father they never knew.
Comment by Bevan Berg – Tue 25th April 2006 @ 10:19 am
Comment by Bevan Berg — Tue 25th April 2006 @ 11:22 am
Bevan,
and my comment was; i regret touching the subject.
what exactly are you trying to acheive here.
do you know that i had support that told me to get on with my life and that it was out of my hands but i wouldn’t, i refused. and in the end i am happier than ever and no matter what it cost it was worth it. it is a personal decision to leave the country and it wont mean anything.
what else; i don’t care if you think i am a bitch for that. for in the end thats what got my family through.
Comment by julie — Tue 25th April 2006 @ 1:33 pm
Actually thinking about this subject a little more today. I would fight for my family and die for my family but not for the country as it currently stands if that makes sense. And Morris I hope you did not take my comment the wrong way as you might not see your story as a positive outcome. I meant that it was great to see a male getting a proper responce from the system and that is a positive. That fact you went thru it in the first place is a different story.
Bevan & Julie I have no idea what you are both on about.
Comment by Mark Lloy — Tue 25th April 2006 @ 5:14 pm
Two things about the original topic. One blanketing policemen is like blanketing men or blacks and should be fought. You are being screwed by a policeman or some policemen, not all New Zealand policemen. Second you are getting angry at the man directly in your face(fox-type people will smile at that), or you are being like the Greeks who killed the messenger, when in fact your anger should be directed at those creating the policy or pushing it. You need and deserve help, but place the anger at its source. Just follow the strings.
Comment by Intrepid — Tue 25th April 2006 @ 11:21 pm
Hi Julie
why don’t you post some f your comments on the feminist sites? give them a taste of what other women think?
Comment by starr — Wed 26th April 2006 @ 5:04 pm
hi Star
that’s a great idea but i don’t know what the sites are. I have tried to find them on google with no results. someone asked me today if there were such sites. maybe i am not asking the right words. if you know of any please tell.
Comment by julie — Wed 26th April 2006 @ 7:10 pm
http://www.womenz.org.nz/nzwebs.htm
quite a few here
Comment by starr — Wed 26th April 2006 @ 8:06 pm
starr
thanx. that should have been easy to find.
Comment by julie — Thu 27th April 2006 @ 12:33 am