MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

From The Sauna

Filed under: General — dpex @ 6:22 pm Thu 6th July 2006

This evening, while my grand-daughter completed swim-training, I spent an interesting period in the local sauna. Eleven men and one woman engaged in debate of DPB, the inequity suffered by men, male child education, and more.

Of the eleven men, only two had not been, in some way, molested by the system. Their reason being clear; neither were over 20 years old. And two more were Koreans being worked over by the system! Those who know how traditional (in Korea) Korean society is structed, will understand the enormity of the shock these two have suffered.

The woman, who inevitably left in a huff, admitted she had had a child BECAUSE SHE WANTED A CHILD, AND HAD A RIGHT TO HAPPINESS! and had been on DPB for 17 years. ‘However,’ she asserted. ‘My daughter will grow to become a fine tax-payer to help pay for your retirement.’

When one of the number asserted he had paid to allow his ex to raise 4 fine children who would similarly become fine tax-payers, Ms thicko started getting huffy and went off again about how she, as a person, had a right to happiness, and simply because she niether liked nor trusted men and thus has never wanted a relationship (just a child) was sufficient warrant for her to go right ahead and fulfil her dreams….at our collective expense.

One of our male number asked why she was still on the DPB given the love-child was 17. Ms Thicky replied, ‘Because, I’m doing a course.’ Then the shattering news was revealed. Ms Thicky was to become a child-counsellor!!!!! God help us all.

Anyway, what came out of this discussion was the complete ignornace of any of the men of the various MENZ groups. Admittedly, one could vaguely remember something about the protests, but it was only vague. The rest were utterly unaware that a cavalcade of men were on the move to right the wrongs.

Which brings me to John P’s and Intrepids well made point.

Somehow we must all work toward moulding the various movements into a cohesive whole with a specific goal in site, goal-by-goal. So long as we continue in the stratified fashion which exists, all which is happening is we are dividing ourselves for conquering and the enemy hasn’t had to lift a finger to help us on our way.

John P, and Intrepid, lay out what must be done, how it can be done, and then ask all to put aside their differences to achieve the common end.

I’m up for it. Give me a task and will achieve it.

Maybe my task could be petitioning Parliament to have a bill passed which requires all persons working in any social welfare capacity, or child counsel role, lawyer for child, etc, to be in a stable relationship…with an opposite-sexed partner.

But gee it was good watch that bludging muppet stomp out of the sauna having failed to vindicate her bludging ways.

And what really impressed me was, not one of the men heckled her for leaving. All stayed silent till she had gone, then burst out laughing when the thick door was well closed. I think that was a fine demonstration of collective male good manners toward the weak and hopeless.:–))

There was a great deal of latent anger in that sauna, coming from men who had never met but who had a common thread in their lives….feministitus.

But all had ‘been’ rolled by the system. None were ‘being’ rolled by it, thus their enthusiasm to fight was minimal, but donate? Yup, I got a strong sense they would.

So perhaps that could be my task. Chief fund-raiser. But we would need a properly formed, and cohesive organisation into which I could channel funds.

Hands up those who would like to take on this task of setting up a real, functioning, army, like the Sallys have done. You do the set-up and I promise I will do the fund-raising; a task to which I am eminently qualified and suited.



  1. Dear David,
    Excellent perspective from the outside. Yes, it shows the mountain we have climb to reach out to men who would support us if they knew of us more clearly. The question as to how to work more closely is what do you like do? And what do you feel you are good at? For long term success and the avoidance of burn out you must relish what you will do. You have set on the fund raising, a very attractive idea. I have am working at the international level for there are less toes to step on and less persons that feel they know all about the situation in every country(they therefore come more humbly to the table of compromise).
    What have you been involved with in the past, and please tell me all the big & little success and also the big failures (for all of these teach us things). While small failures digress ourselves from understanding the big picture.
    Are you the D4J head, and what are you interested in doing at the international level?
    I’m all ears!

    Comment by Intrepid — Fri 7th July 2006 @ 12:13 am

  2. Just out of curiousity, Ms Bludger on the DPB – who paid for her sauna / pool trip? Aren’t benefits meant to be a safety net, not a lifestyle funder?

    Comment by Al D Rado — Fri 7th July 2006 @ 7:54 am

  3. Al
    thats what it is meant to be used for but instead the DPB, Child support etc gets watsed on fringe benefits.. due to no accountability required etc.

    Comment by starr — Fri 7th July 2006 @ 8:37 pm

  4. And here was me thinking ‘she’s on the DPB coz mothering is a full time job. Silly me – you can mother from inside a sauna!

    Comment by Al D Rado — Fri 7th July 2006 @ 8:44 pm

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