Mental health and our Teenage boys
Be aware; be very aware when you send your boys to Mental Health. I cannot stress enough that if you find yourself working with Mental Health insist on a male Psychiatrist or Psychologist for your boys. And be present for their interviews.
Do not let what I am going through be your story.
I approached Mental Health for my son as just like many parents especially single parents I was concerned for his behaviour and state of mind.
On one interview, my son stated that, “Girls dress up so young it is hard to know which of them is old enough to like and that sometimes he sees them in short skirts, heels, low tops and so on from behind, thinks sexually, then sees them front-on and realises they are too young.”
Never had I seen 2 women’s heads lift so fast and eyes light up and widen as if their Christmas had come early. “Hold on a minute”‘ I said. “It is normal for boys to have these thoughts in their teens.”
But the verdict was in and in writing. My son is a potential rapist. Now I will spend as long as it takes alongside all the other mother’s fighting this bias to clear my son’s name. I write letters to Mental Health but receive no replies. So, now my son is another statistic to show how young girls are unsafe. Another statistic for women’s refuge to use and alongside them their sister family violence.
My boys like many other boys you see around the streets are not with girls because girls have become a risk too great for young men to take on. It is such a shame for the girl’s are hurting too.
I visited a home where 4 boys were sitting in the lounge ignoring a group of girls that were knocking at the door. The father was a bit shocked and said, “Hey let them in, you’re young men.” But they wouldn’t and the girls gave up and left after some time. And there on the couch were cell phones and other bits and pieces the boys had received as gifts from the girls. But they are just not interested.
It is not just our teens that are hurting but our 20+ year olds. Make sure you watch SUNDAY tonight on channel 1 which is on our binge drinking young adults which just happens to affect females more than men. Once again you will see our males living in fear for their lives and the behaviour of our young women, the mother’s of yet another generation.
Do you know there was a time when male and females complimented each other? Boys would prefer to go to parties and night clubs where girls went. Not for sex but just for the fact the boys behaved better. There were fewer punch-ups between the males because the females mellowed the situation. Now fighting is rampant and it is not just the males.
I suppose that is the plan for our social government. Get Mental Health, CYFS, Police, Women’s Refuge and Family Violence (all heavily government funded and trained social workers, Psychiatrists and Psychologists) make all men and women equal by cutting males down to size and lifting females up to size, then once they are all animals drug them and make them dependant on every step of their lives to be under the control of today’s research opinionated education system and line the pockets of those who manipulated the best.
Never mind how unhappy the people will become. Never mind that maybe the people actually like the biological differences and to work, learn lessons and grow and so on and so on.
But I don’t want to leave you in fear that it is hopeless for our boys nor is it hopeless for you as parents.
Reach out in your neighbourhood for you WILL find there are more people going through these problems than you realise. Look for men’s groups in your local area. There is no-one who knows boys better than men. Phone the Youth Police division at your local police station. Phone CAB, Salvation Army, look over the internet or talk to the community counsellor at your boy’s school. But most of all listen to your teens even if you don’t like what they have to say. You as a parent have more power than you realise.
Mental Health is more reliant on research and research is bias. Hypothesises are chosen to compliment what the researcher wants to achieve not the TRUTH. Mental Health may medicate your boys initially to settle them. It is not the solution for the long-term. Community groups are more hands on, more life experienced and listen to the stories of the people.
We do not need to satisfy our anxieties by having all our boys labelled and certainly not in an unsafe environment which New Zealand has become where males have less rights than females.
According to Statistics NZ figures, we are fast heading towards 3/4 of all Maori children and 1/2 of European children growing up in a house without a dad. What a cess pit for ALL CHILDREN this country has become !!!!Well done sisterhood regime !!!!!!
How true, how totally and utterly correct this article is. How do we hope to have a society if young men are too afraid to relate to women, and what hope is there for women to understand men if men are too afraid to even speak to them.
I have never agreed with an article so much. This is brilliant.
Totally agree Pete. What do I do if I need help? Go talk to some wolverine dressed up in ewes clothing and take my chances in the system or tough it out and end up burnt out. No wonder male suicide is where its at if this is the sort of assistance Julie got with her boys.
We are damned if we do and damned if we dont it seems.
It is so upsetting. I have just wached my children, 2 of whom are boys, go thru a period of about 3 months where they spend the weekdays with their mum. They have had almost a dozen accidents in her care… most of which to the older boy.
She gets tax-payer funded assistance two days a week from a social worker courtesy of Barnados.
This social worker is such a fine, unbiased and rational member of society that she was overheard outside the courtroom last week by a Menzies friend and a lawyer (who is an acquaintance of mine) saying to another SW ” Don’t go in there. I’m working with the mum on that one and they’ll be a while. The father is a control freak and wife beater…” You get the gist. The two people who overheard who both know me were quite shocked… especially when they tried to point out that two senior judges have both ruled that the ex-wifes claims of ‘abuse’ were not founded and they dismissed her applications for those protection orders!
This so-called fair-minded social worker has recommended that my middle son (who is not even school age yet) go to Mental Health for assessment. They are blaming him for the accidents that befall him… not the mother who fails to supervise him properly. They are trying to claim he is a slow and difficult child and has a mental defect towards himself and his mother. The sad thing is that When he stays with me he is cooperative, caring, shares well with other children, talks well and is even learning potty training by copying his older sister. He is a pleasant well-rounded lad. WHen I go to drop him off at his mothers house he crawls under the rear seats of my vehicle and tries to hide because he doesnt want to go with her. This makes ME cry!
How can you fight a system like that where the players, mostly female, would rather believe that the court is at fault for not upholding a woman’s already proven lies about ‘abuse’… and who would rather believe that the male children are mentally affected by the claims of abuse by the mother… rather than looking at what is right under their nose. That the mother is lying and neglecting the children and the boy is simply acting out to show he doesnt want to be with her???
I have another view on this issue of some boys being afraid of girls in our current millieux.
I reckon those girls who are sensitive and sensible enough will ask themselves why would boys be afraid of me? And if they’re really smart they’ll then ask, what can I do to change that? If thier answers are all about changing males attitudes then forget it young woman you’ve lost out even more.
Fact is many young males have by now seen for themselves a generation sex and the city females ripping off menfolk. Many of these lads have also been counselled to see the warning signs of female predaciousness.
And they won’t take kindly to desperate girls trying to counsel them that they’re really kind and empathic towards males.
As an example of how poorly young women these days seem to relate to males I offer this little vignette –
The vast majority of young western women I meet these days will gladly pick my brains without so much as a thankyou once they’ve gleaned my hard earned wisdom. I first noticed this happening some years ago, but it seems to have become the norm for them to NOT show appreciation to males.
Their unspoken smug sense of entitlement is sickening. At first I was disconcerted, but
I’ve learnt a very effective way to deal with it. They only do it once now, then I clam up stop giving them my wisdom.
My advice to any young man reading this – look for women with civility and who behave in a kindly way towards their menfolk. That’s a barometer of how they’ll behave towards you.
Oh, and one more thing, when the male pill comes out get yourself on it. It’ll be a great innoculator against getting financially shafted by some predacious fembot.
This isn’t good advice I’m sorry Julie. The gender of any professional is NOT useful as a guide to competance or safety.
A number of the most anti-male, ideologically driven and dangerous NZ psychologists I know hapen to be men. Conversely, some of the psychologists I most respect are women.
This is the same for any professional group – some males are so keen reap the rewards and kudos they get from “doing it right for feminists” that they take the most extreme positions.
I hear what you are saying and I think ‘John Cavanagh’ is a perfect example. The women love him as a speaker for men but the men hate him and see right through him.
And stupid me, believed in him as someone who cared. I still against all advice believe in him because my GUT tells me so.
We are just going to have to wait and see what happens.
All I know is that I am sick of hearing the men in these higher positions telling me that it is not time for men’s rights. What a load of SHITE. We should not have to be locking young men up for killing kids, we should not be burying our teenage boys because of fights. NO, NO, NO!!!!
It is way past time.
Men’s rights are the most logical, economical and social way to go. If women and children continue to die from the hands of men then all this time spent on the women and children was a waste economically and socially. Focus on the men. Focus on what will make them well, focus on what they need and the problems will halve. The money being spent on the prison system, the DV, the DPB and so on will halve also.
very sage advice to Julie.
it’s wonderful to see your compassion and passion for men’s issues grow.
Where are the other women of that ilk in nz? If more of them surface it will help to innoculate against feminzm.
They are everywhere, absolutely everywhere.
you could help talk to them. look up groups and e-mail them.
As for all standing together, you just have to be a bit patient although I wish we didn’t have to bury another dead boy whether through stabbing or suicide.
I am sure you know the saying, “If you are going to do something, do it well and thorough so you only have to do it once.”
And I am sure you will look forward to returning to your homeland once again.
Don’t be so certain I’ll look forward to returning to nz again.
It’s great that you’re going public with your disquiet about mens rights being so sorely lacking in nz.
However, contrary to what you say about nz women ‘absolutely everywhere’ echoing your debunking of feminism and emulating your stand for men’s rights I get a very different picture.
I can scour nz websites ad infinitum and not find such other nz women doing likewise.
So I’m noneplussed by your comments.
The overwhelming impression I get is that the level of awareness amongst nz women of the plight of thier brothers is paultry at best.
Couple that with the paying very high taxes to support a leftist feminist government which is in many ways shafting men and it doesn’t encourage returning to my ‘homeland’.
There’s an enormous amount that needs to be done to rectify the situation for our menfolk.
It’s a blessing and huge relief to be here at a safe distance yet still able to comment upon the situation of nz men.
I’m way past being a teenage boy
(too old and ugly by far) yet I can tell you my mental health is much better for being away from nz.
The best advice I can give to young nz men right now is to escape to somewhere much more male friendly.
I can understand what you say about not looking forward to returning to NZ. It would be extremely difficult and the past can never be erased.
I think that your being on this site ready and willing to challenge the minds and installed beliefs of men and women is already an important part of fixing the problem. I know I have learn’t alot.
I am not saying women are speaking out everywhere because they don’t know yet of the reality. But everywhere I go even CYFS and WINZ I find women saying, “Really, how is this possible?”
There has to be a whole education program going on. But there are alot of educated (through university level) women that are so sure what they learn’t is correct. So there also needs to be challenging going on.
You shouldn’t put yourself down like that but like the rest of us, you have your strengths and weaknesses.
But good on you for fighting for men’s rights for so long.
I suppose one day I will be commenting the same thing to something else. LOL.