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Tamihere Meeting

Filed under: Domestic Violence,General,Law & Courts,Sex Abuse / CYF — dpex @ 6:27 pm Wed 12th April 2006

Hi All,

I met with John this morning. He talked about a range of matters which he is persuing but has asked that I keep these matters confidential for the moment. The principle being; no point in letting the enemy know the location of tropps and guns till one is ready to open fire.

What I can say is; we will soon be getting a very public champion.

So that’s all good.

He related the latest ‘joke’ doing the rounds: ‘Which is harder to get your kids back from? A rabid rotwieller, or CYFS?’ There’s no prizes for getting the answer. Personally, I was utterly offended at the thrust of this so-called joke.

However, one comment he did make which has rung in my mind all day was, ‘You major support base is in fact the rational women of New Zealand.’

Naturally, my focus has been steadfast on the small cabal of irrational women who are infecting my life and that of my child, at the moment. Thus it took me some seconds to realise he was right.

Ninety-nine percent of women in New Zealand are decent, caring folk who also care deeply for children. I guess John was trying to say that maybe we victims of the 1% are inadvertantly ignoring the support we could perhaps get from the hundreds and thousands of decent women out there who would be horrified to know what is actually going on.

The question is: how do we get the message to them?

Further, John asserted that what Jim and his group is doing is great and could well be expanded. I gather he was suggesting an increase in incidence rather than a descent into violence.

On that point, I have been somewhat disturbed at receiving emails from three different folk who suggested they were getting prepared to perpetrate violence against members of authority….and one of them appeared to be a woman.

Folks, such an approach will not help, it will severely hinder the march towards attaining equal status for men in the Family Court.

Today I have written to Simon Powers, Shadow Minister for Justice. I would rather keep the content of that letter private for the moment. Save to say, I shall keep casting my net till I find someone in authority who will take notice of our collective plight.



  1. That is fantastic. I am so glad you spent time with him. And I am glad you share what he said about women.

    Comment by julie — Wed 12th April 2006 @ 10:42 pm

  2. How do you get support from the women? Well this menz group has an anti-women reputation so there needs to be a shift. And it wouldn’t hurt to share some on female’s sites, parents sites, children’s sites etc. But real heartfelt stuff, not feminist jokes.

    Women are nurturing beings and they will make a fuss over a hurt man. And being hurt is real.

    Comment by julie — Wed 12th April 2006 @ 10:51 pm

  3. Dear David,

    John Tamihere has well and truly been through the Family Court mangler according to his speech at the Mens Summit last year, but, he was also in a more than a viable lobbying position to effect some favourable change.
    Instead he continued to kiss Helens backside especially after his publicised faux pas in The Investigator.
    He appeared to emulate the typical Uncle Tom at the Summit.
    I have been advocating to my fellow dedicated protestors to have our partners accompany us thereby starting the mass of rational women showing their support and publicly condemning the marginilisation.
    We have also had the voice of a teenager who suffered from the evil Family Court being forcibly separated from her Father upon whim.
    We are evolving this campaign and it doesn’t include violence (although Leighton Smith said today there was a time he wanted to punch a Family Court Lawyer on the nose).
    We have many within the ranks that can channel that burning rage fuelled by Proceedings in the family court into a positive force that will assist the campaign.
    I am always available to facilitate in that respect.
    Keep pushing forward and onward and although setbacks we get many, I believe that we are having an effect upon this injustice.

    Kind Regards

    Comment by paulc — Wed 12th April 2006 @ 11:03 pm

  4. From what I have come to know is that most women’s view on topics such as false rape allegations, CYFS etc are the same as we have. They just don’t realise the true extent of the problem, and that something needs to be done about this travesty NOW.

    So effectively we have the support, but not the action. If the TRUE ugliness of these matters were made avaliable (dpex is in the process of compiling information on this) then the normal NZ’er would, I believe, feel more compelled to do something about it, rather than just ponder about it.

    Comment by Moose — Wed 12th April 2006 @ 11:24 pm

  5. Julie,
    Your comments about NZ women being nurturing beings and making a fuss over hurt men appear absolutely incredible to me.
    I’ve lost my only child.
    Not seen hide nor hair of him in 13 years now.
    I’ve met other NZ guys who’ve suffered similar or worse.
    Unlike you getting your kids back.
    Just think about the pain of that for a moment will you?
    The poor sod’s been disgustingly brainwashed by his own Mom to believe I’m some sort of ogre.

    His mother’s repeatedly whimsically thwarted what little visitation we had.

    She’s falsely accused me of abuse and of being a mentally ill vagrant.

    She’s done all of this with absolute impunity, whilst countless supposedly rational, ethical folks simply looked the other way.

    NOT ONE of the many women I spoke to at the family court, child Support and counselling agencies over the years could give a damn enough to raise thier little finger about that.

    Hell, they even facilitated it with thier kangaroo ‘family’ court, feminazzi ‘lawyers’ and arrogant playing-God judges.

    So, according to (kiss Helen’s arse) John T and some others I’ve only got to open my heart and pour out the pain to the rational womenfolk of NZ and like some great horde of rescuing angels they’ll all swoop down and fix it all eh?
    I wish.
    Already tried that approach.
    It just led to more pain and disappointment.
    I can count on one hand the number out of the many hundreds of NZ women I’ve subsequently told my distressed story to who has ever tried to do anything concrete to get justice for my son and I (and the many thousands of NZ and other western kids and fathers just like us).

    I clearly recall an experience I had at a workshop in NZ. I had been sobbing for about half an hour about the loss of my son. Niether the 3 women running the workshop, nor 20 or so women in attendance even bothered to approach me and enquire what I was so distressed about. I was so distraught I couldn’t think about it at the time, and then later it dawned on me that they simply weren’t interested enough. But they’s attended every woman at the workshop who’d cried about something.

    So John T and a few others reckon an appeal to the rational women of NZ will help – if only they knew how so many kids were being shafted and rendered fatherless.



    I know you mean well, and I appreciate that.
    But what you’re saying simply doesn’t come anywhere near to fitting with my many years experience of NZ womenfolk’s capacity for compassionate action towards men and fathers.
    And I know from innumerable conversations I’ve had with men from all walks of life in NZ (politicians, sociologists, labourers, policemen, teachers, builders, bosses, barristers etc) that my views are far from extraodinary.

    Now is not the time for sickening candy-coated, ‘let’s suddenly all believe in women’, type words.

    NOW is the time for NZ women to get off thier overpriveliged arses for a change and TAKE ACTION to prove to thier menfolk that they really care about thier men, instead of basking in thier own ‘success’.

    So here’s a big opportunity for you Julie.

    I’ll be the first to thank you if you can stop the rot.

    Good luck to you

    In the meantime, life’s too short.
    I’m out of NZ and unlikely to be coming back to risk another terrible misandric experience.
    I’m aiming for other places where men get the respect and real compassion they so dearly deserve.

    Comment by Stephen — Thu 13th April 2006 @ 1:01 am

  6. Stephen, Believe ot or not but I will actually miss you. I have enjoyed your comments and challenges.

    I am aware this is going to be hard but it will be worth it for the young adults who will walk our walk.

    I am able to talk about the mens side and get good responses from married women even in high positions but there are some women especially those with thier own story who don’t want to hear about it. They feel their side. I think the rational women are those looking in that have not been affected by the systems. It is a bit hard to be rational when you are emotional involved.

    It distresses me that women didn’t care for you in a workshop. I am wondering whether they were single parents themselves?

    I wish you all the best overseas but that gives little excuse to not keep in touch.

    Comment by julie — Fri 14th April 2006 @ 2:01 am

  7. Julie,
    Thanks for the kind thoughts.
    The women at the workshop were a mixture of single and attached aged mid 20s through to 50s. Mostly European and some Polynesian.

    Comment by Stephen — Sat 15th April 2006 @ 6:01 am

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