MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.


Filed under: General — dpex @ 10:46 pm Wed 19th July 2006

I really wish we could all stop swapping spits about the minor details when the bigger picture needs so much energy.

But there’s another issue which kind’ve interests me. I see on the board tonight there have been 810 visitors to this site, yet the comments are coming from about four folk. Does that mean you four have each visited the site 202.25 times each, or are there a whole bunch of visitors who, for one reason or another are looking but not commenting.

Question: why visit and not comment?

It seems to me the plethora of folk visiting this site, apart from the stooges from you-know-where who simply check in to see who is making justifiably ugly comments about them, must have a reason to do so. It follows that unless they have some sense of what the Germans term ‘schadenfrued’ (I think I spelled it right, and it means enjoying the pain of others) why would they bother unless directly or indirectly, but specifically affected by the issues which this site is dedicated to addressing.

And so assuming Chrissy, Starr, Julie, et al, check in five times a day, then why don’t the other 760 visitors deign to make any comment?

Anyone got any thoughts on this matter?



  1. THANKS 4 YOUR WONDERFULL comment pple like me are new vistors i have 2 take sometime 2 comment Another area is most of the proplems affecting mens in developed world are far diffrent with us so i have 2 study a lot 2 copy up but we are in the same boat bye

    Comment by danies — Thu 20th July 2006 @ 1:38 am

  2. THANKS 4 YOUR WONDERFULL comment pple like me are new vistors, i have 2 take sometime 2 comment. Another area is most of the problems affecting mens in developed world are far diffrent with us here in my country if a woman mess up , the solution is 2 take her back home not 2 play around . So i have 2 study a lot 2 copy up but we are in the same boat bye

    Comment by danies — Thu 20th July 2006 @ 1:42 am

  3. Fair enuff

    Comment by julie — Thu 20th July 2006 @ 7:29 am

  4. Some of us are simply irked about the present state of men and do not currently have a big beef (sympathising rather than enpathising with the current male victims of the FC system) with the issues that are being posted. To be fair – when you open with a comment like “I wish you would stop swapping spit about minor detail” you actually suppress all of the second and third tier issues that are “out there”. My personal beef is with “man bashing” TV advertising and how it seems to have become acceptable.

    Comment by Alun — Thu 20th July 2006 @ 7:35 am

  5. David,
    it’s a fair question.
    I don’t know the answer. Perhaps some antipathy towards looking weak and vulnerable? Perhaps some prefer to take flight to other parts? Perhaps some are curious, but only starting to grow aware of men’s plight so not ready to contribute posts?

    I also felt uneasy reading the –
    “I wish you would stop swapping spit about minor detail” comment.
    To me it seems there are a raft of interwoven issues men face in nz.
    Men don’t get the same level of health support women get.
    Men get lambasted by corrupt feminist research.
    Men frequently belittled in the media.
    Men too often get ostracised, marginalised and often criminalised by family law.
    Men get incarcerated in huge numbers compared to other advanced nations.

    The overarching theme which comes through to me is that men are treated as author Warren Farrel describes – as disposable.
    The same has happened to other groups in times gone by – homosexuals and blacks for instance.
    Interestingly in both cases the way out of oppression for those groups has been to counter the prevailing oppressive culture with one of self pride.
    To anounce to the world for instance I’m black and proud or I’m gay and full of pride.

    I think the time may be ripe for just such a move by men to show that maleness is not some pathological, inherantly bad state of being as it has been made out to be by many feminists over the years.
    Testosterone isn’t a poison.

    On the contrary we’re male and should be proud of it. Not because of simply being of course. Any dumbass can do that.
    No. That’s not the way forward.
    However the testosterone flowing through us our bodies and brains so often drives us to great things.
    Take a good long look at the world around you, and reflect upon something Gloria Steinham (ironically a leading feminist) once said –
    ‘If it weren’t for men we’d still be living in grass huts’.

    Perhaps such a message might encourage others to post too?

    Your thoughts?

    Comment by Stephen — Thu 20th July 2006 @ 3:12 pm

  6. Stephen, I think your point runs to the core of the current male dilemma. In order to foster pride (and as a consequence action) in a situation one first has to acknowledge that [he] is on the back foot.

    A lot of men are not in the marginalised positions that are often described here but are starting to get perturbed by the societal acceptance of men as irrelevant/superfluous/redundant.

    My 3 lads love the fun and games that we play together and to think of kids being brought up without a positive male influence and possible only being exposed to the venomous commentary of a disillusioned mother and her angry sisters gives me the chills.

    Even our current school system has been tilted in favour of the girls as I think schools find it “too hard” to deal with the fact that boys and girls have different needs at different ages.

    Without this recognition we are doomed to a future of androgynous quasi people.

    Comment by Alun — Thu 20th July 2006 @ 3:30 pm

  7. I would say that the counter for this site probably starts at about 700. No matter what time of day I have visited here it is always over 700.

    Having said that, this site figures high on search engine rankings, due mainly to the large number of posts and amount of content, since that is what google is attuned to these days. It would be interesting to see how many unique visitors the site gets a day, but I would figure that there aren’t many more than you see people posting.

    Comment by New Zeal — Thu 20th July 2006 @ 4:39 pm

  8. David writes:

    Does that mean you four have each visited the site 202.25 times each,

    No, it measures unique visitors in the previous 24 hours (not page hits).

    I am likely to read hundreds of web pages between making comments, so this doesn\’t surprise me.

    In addition, many people read the email version and never visit the site at all.

    Comment by JohnP — Thu 20th July 2006 @ 5:27 pm

  9. It is the interesting comments that people make that gives others something to think of. Just look at Rory’s ask for info on slapping. People need to see others discussing the issue. It is just like reading comments in the paper that readers send in.

    Comment by julie — Thu 20th July 2006 @ 5:44 pm

  10. I read and learn. But unless I have something that I want to say (and I think is worthy of such a fine site) I carry on reading. Of course it takes time to write and not everybody has a lot of time to write all thats on their mind.

    Comment by Phoenix — Fri 21st July 2006 @ 6:42 pm

  11. And perhaps the level of tripe from the likes of new Zeal make it too hard to trawl for the “real” issues….

    Comment by Ethos — Mon 24th July 2006 @ 10:25 pm

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