MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

Fatherhood and BULLSHIT.

Filed under: General — triassic @ 7:37 pm Tue 27th February 2007

The dictionary describes fatherhood as:
to act as a father to somebody, especially giving advice, comfort, and protection.

The Family court describes it as:
all the above unless Mother doesn’t want it, then just give us your wallet.

For the last four and a half years I have held on to the belief that the Justice system would have within its fold some wisdom. Wisdom is the love of truth and knowledge. Our system has little of that. Did you know that there has been no study to understand the effects on a father of false sexual abuse on his children by the mother? Wouldn’t you think that understanding these effects might give Judges some wisdom in dealing with the aftermath? Judges tend to think that fathers are bullet proof and that he should be able to handle any crap sent his way. If a Father raped the Mother of their child you can imagine and understand the reaction of the Judge. He would be sympathetic of her fear of him and realise that a normal trusting relationship would be difficult. He certainly would not accuse her of “not working with him and always being mistrustful of his actions” and then stating “therefore you are not suitable for co-parenting so fuck off” (abreviated)

Take it from me, the family court is a joke and treat it with respect at your own peril.

Here is a summary of what I have learnt over 4.5 years

1. Society does not want fathers to be hands on. Just financial providers.

2. Women want men to be sensitive but just sensitive to their needs.

3. Judges believe that men are the instigators of violence until they prove
themselves innocent beyond reasonable doubt.

4. Judges interpret a women lies as “unfortunate”

5. Legal Aid Services are an agency to help women to destroy men.
They break their own rules in order to aid a woman in “distress”

6. The Police are political when it comes to applying law in Male Vs Female. Misandry rules.

7. The courts are administered in a dubious way in which a Judge can have
transcripts altered or even deleted to stop any enquiry into the way they
conduct a case.

8. A Man’s Human and Civil Rights are only as good as the integrity of the woman he
has a relationship with.

9. Becoming a father is the worst mistake a man can make in this society.
If I had sons I would have them all sterilised.


  1. Oh my God, you can’t be serious. Anyone in their right mind could see you are a wonderful father.

    Comment by julie — Tue 27th February 2007 @ 8:55 pm

  2. Women are sympathetic, and its best kept for their children, men are empathetic, and you need to learn the difference, but regardless we can do without these pitiful people.

    Comment by Bevan Berg — Tue 27th February 2007 @ 9:02 pm

  3. Bevan,

    Your comment is ….. well, not true. Women can be empathetic. We can’t be soppy over everything, you know.

    And, sorry to say but men are well … sympathetic to women. Isn’t that what the ‘No Chivalry’ concept is about.

    Comment by julie — Tue 27th February 2007 @ 9:25 pm

  4. Hey Triassic .I agree with all you say except the last line because I got twin 22 year old boys and they would crap themselves if they had to be sterilised. I haven’t the guts to tell them that they have to become eunuch’s to stay in kiwiland, as they both tower over me and got spunky girlfriends .They would be mighty pissed off with their dad -lol. anyway you’re a cool shafted parent — kids need a good dad – chin up good dad soldier, I am a six year vet. .Battle is long, miserable and totally unnessary for so many decent parents . Its so wrong .

    Julie the Children Need Parents Trust stuff arrived while I was in Wellington.

    Kids need the love of both a mum and dad .Ask my two daughters who love me to bits .

    Parent Power = 4 HAPPY KIWI KIDS & Equal rights .

    Comment by dad4justice — Tue 27th February 2007 @ 9:35 pm

  5. No Julie, women are sympathetic, and men are empathetic, and when men get sympathetic they are in trouble because its no basis for a relationship.

    Comment by Bevan Berg — Tue 27th February 2007 @ 9:40 pm

  6. Bevan,

    I will give that some thought. Yet, for every generalisation there are many outliers.

    Comment by julie — Tue 27th February 2007 @ 11:03 pm

  7. Triassic,

    Great heart felt post — I honour you

    I like Peter would be very reluctant to instruct my Son to do away with the bits that bring another generation. — I have had the pleasure of meeting one of Peters twins and can assure you he (Peter) has done a bloody good job, is dearly loved and has produced the most hansom offspring.

    Men/FATHERS need to Men-Tor their Children to value the ability to bring another generation and to take the risk to further Men-Tor the need to suss any intended partner seriously before sexual intimacy. It’s a risky business that could easily be misconstrued as PAS by women that have used their bits for narcissistic purposes as has Javan’s Mum.

    Currently with Women having the power to damage the **Whole-NATURAL-Biological-FAMILY** far more than Men, for their own narcissistic purposes it’s even more important that our BOYS suss their intended mate very very carefully.

    **HandsOnEqualParenting** will guard against either gender using their bits for narcissistic gain should it ever take favour with the voting public and give Kids good Parenting away from the influences of the NANNY State

    Onward – Jim

    Comment by Jim Bailey — Wed 28th February 2007 @ 2:22 am

  8. Yep another **NZ-FATHERS-Coalition** supporter in action

    Great picture in the Stuff URL

    Onward – Jim
    Thanks to, Wayne Fergusson – NZ – E/Rangitiki – Sanson – **NZ-FATHERS-Coalition**

    PLEASE JOIN and POST DIRECT- Go> HandsOnEqualParent-NEWS E-Group

    Even better visit the main website Go>

    Onward – Jim


    Afternoon Guys,

    I just received a phone call from and older lady con-gratulating me on the picture and story that is on page 4 ‘i think it was” of the Manawatu Standard newspaper,

    so like you said aye Jim play em at their own game .Might be able to milk it enough to help encourage others into action aye.

    Also bob she wanted to know which institutions etc have the petitions available for singnatures.

    Wayne F



    Remove signs, protester told Smack setback

    By LEE MATTHEWS – Manawatu Standard | Wednesday, 28 February 2007

    Email a Friend | Printable View | Have Your Say

    JONATHAN CAMERON/Manawatu Standard

    UPSETTING SIGNS: Sanson father Wayne Fergusson with his signs protesting the “deluded” campaign by list MP Sue Bradford to make smacking of children illegal. The Manawatu District Council has told Mr Fergusson to take some of the signs down because they are too close to a State highway and might distract drivers.
    – Have your say

    Sanson father-of-two Wayne Fergusson wants the right to smack his children when they are naughty.

    He feels so strongly that list MP Sue Bradford has got it wrong with her proposed legislation to make smacking illegal that he has built large protest signs on the front lawn of his State Highway 1 Sanson home.

    The signs urge people to reject Ms Bradford’s bill, and to not criminalise good parents. They publicise the Family First group, which also opposes the legislation.

    “I’ve had people pulling up and coming in and signing the Family First petition. Somebody gave me some vegies the other day as well,” Mr Fergusson said.

    He wants people to think through the proposed legislation, and do something to stop it. He says there is a world of difference between parents smacking children with reasonable force for discipline, and parents and other people who hurt, maim and kill children.

    “We have totally unacceptable rates of violence against children . . . (but) the two issues are separate.

    “This is deluded. It’s going to make good parents into criminals. It’s just going to feed that whole family court abuse industry, lawyers and judges.”

    He said he smacked his children – two sons, aged three and seven – when they deserved it, just as his own father had smacked him.

    Meanwhile, the signs have upset the Manawatu District Council, which has asked Mr Fergusson to remove the ones closest to the road.

    Council spokesman Bob Williams said it was a road safety issue, and had nothing to do with the protest. There were rules about the size and siting of roadside signs because they could distract drivers.

    The council had sent Mr Fergusson a pamphlet explaining the rules.

    Comment by Jim Bailey — Wed 28th February 2007 @ 3:06 pm

  9. Jim,

    I think you will see me standing behind a man soon enough. He may not get involved in the comments on this site or others but he will be the spokesperson for single parents as he was mean’t to be from the beginning as he is the chairperson. I guess I just had to do what females do. He will make the decisions from now on as like you say, “the man is in control, the women just support”

    He is charming and has a Psychology degree. He will listen to you and he is a fahter. Very smart man and young. He has talked to men in your situation and as support, I have done the best to support him. Like you he has his flaws. Infact sex is something you both will have in common.

    You will like this guy as all do. From here on in you will have to speak to
    him. I will do my best to support this man.

    Comment by julie — Wed 28th February 2007 @ 9:01 pm

  10. Which Julie posted No 9?

    Which Jim said he 2nded Women?

    What is the topic of the post we are commenting on?

    Onward – Jim

    Comment by Jim Bailey — Wed 28th February 2007 @ 10:21 pm

  11. Jim. it is me from Auckland Single Parents Trust.

    You really will like our chairperson. He really was mean’t to be here instead of me.

    Unfortunately he is a …. well …. liked by women. (That’s the nice version)

    (You know what I mean, I hope) Maybe you can get him to be a bit more serious as he has a special responsibility representing men’s issues. Only for our group of course.

    Didn’t mean to offend you. He is just a young 30+ guy. I thought you might relate. LOL

    I spoke with him last night about your issue with me and not just yours but the admin of mensnewsdaily. com. Look I will never get men. There was a time when I thought I did and men I knew thought I did but hey, we are all wrong some time in our lives.

    This has been a fascinating 12 months for me. However to make real changes we need to get serious. Men should be men and supported by women. You are not the only person who thinks this. Anyhow, we have adapted to do the right thing for the community.

    Comment by julie — Thu 1st March 2007 @ 12:00 am

  12. Triassic,
    I hear your pain bro’.
    As Jim says battle on mate.
    No need to neuter any sons tohelp them escape feminist shafting. Just get them on the soon to be released male pill. Google it. It’s mindblowing how it will alter sexual dynamics.
    The feminists are sooooooooooooo quiet about this soon to occur revolution as they are shitting themselves.
    As Jim would say —– Onwards.

    Comment by Stephen — Thu 1st March 2007 @ 2:47 pm

  13. I really think that you all need to step out of your very narrow square and perhaps understand that the world is a large, wonderful place! Get a little more positive with your approach to the abovementioned issues….and perhaps find better, more balanced role models to support. People that hide behind signs and overtly bully people, under the guise of their personal agenda are fairly cowardly in my view.

    Unlike some comments posted here, I have heard many fathers, men and family members commenting on how ‘fanatical and lacking in reality’ many of people involved in these issues are.

    Nothing will be gained by criticism, sarcasm and bullying. But if understanding and kindness prevail, so much can be gained.

    Comment by Terri Cavanaugh — Mon 17th December 2007 @ 6:16 pm

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