I am 35yrs old ive seen alot in my time booze,drugs,gangs etc. I’d crossed paths with some of the most notorious gang members and the most hardened criminals done some things im ashamed to admit but i faced those demons and turned my life around i met my husband 6yrs ago had 2 more children and continued to raise my 4 we have 6 kiddies living with us my husband has contact with his two, 9yrs and 12yrs. When my husband and i met, his partner had left him for the third time, taking their children, alcohol was a contributing factor to the breakdown in their relationship on both parts, from that day she has taunted him, power tripping in knowing she had something he wanted but could not have, she stated in numerous emails “you will never see these children unless i say so”.

Jealous and overcome with rage she had deliberately kept the children from him, after two years of lawyers,affadavits,counselling sessions & drug tests finally my husband gets supervised visits one and a half hours a fortnight, eight months later, one day a fortnight then finally four months later, after a hearing and four and a half thousand dollars thankyou fortnight weekends that was 2yrs ago hallaluyah all done three days ago we are slapped with a report stating children no longer want contact and contained are the reasons why father drinking,father working too much father not being a father and wants to kidnap children,children terrified of father, also contained “oh but we want to go with mummy and new partner overseas to live” we like new partner,we love mummy nope dont wanna go to daddy’s.

How the hell do you respond to that? This woman is so bitter and twisted she will stop at nothing she claims to have moved on but all we see is her hanging on,she will use the kids to pass messages on “when my children are in your care they should go to bed at 8pm, 12yr old has paint on pants please rectify, 12yr old has no pyjamas please rectify (leaving out the part that 12yr old left pjs behind in a town they had relocated to without consenting us) 12yr old and 9yr old need cell phones to stay in contact with me it will be their own (children return from mothers with out it stating cell phone-lost)” children cannot come to wedding as “they dont want to”children want to come on holiday with me and new partner(an extended holiday lasting four months) never mind the fact that 12 and 9yr old were involved in the entire wedding preps, monday following our wedding last year, cyfs came knocking the mother had made allegations stating father had hit 9yr old while in our care she had pic’s to prove (none ever presented though)and children never admitted this to her, however it was cyfs job to investigate regardless and investigate they did, my children were thoroughly grilled, my home,our lives, extended family our cat and dog were excluded.

We have always provided 12 and 9yr old, our love and security we have never placed them or put them in harms way i accept them as my own, we constantly re-assure them they are wanted and needed here and yet they will always lie and choose their mother, i know why, she is all they know she is their security at the end of the day they will always be loyal to her, this woman does not deserve these children and so here we are back in the one place we have no control over, our lives and the outcome once again in the fc’s hands,what does one do?all i know is to keep fighting but i am getting tired,my husband also,he has two small children that love and need him, and i have my own as well, we cant go through this again we just don’t have the fight in us anymore if we let go, im sure they’l return to us one day, if we hang on nothing will change the accusations will only get worse, a month ago i found this here site, quite by accident, i was thinking we were the only parents in the world that had problems like this i felt so relieved after reading posts of fathers going through the same things as us, it was almost like their was hope for us after all it also made me realise, accept what is, you cannot control other people, empower yourself with knowledge and move on.

to be continued…