Brain-washed Kids, Crazy Exes, and FC.
I am 35yrs old ive seen alot in my time booze,drugs,gangs etc. I’d crossed paths with some of the most notorious gang members and the most hardened criminals done some things im ashamed to admit but i faced those demons and turned my life around i met my husband 6yrs ago had 2 more children and continued to raise my 4 we have 6 kiddies living with us my husband has contact with his two, 9yrs and 12yrs. When my husband and i met, his partner had left him for the third time, taking their children, alcohol was a contributing factor to the breakdown in their relationship on both parts, from that day she has taunted him, power tripping in knowing she had something he wanted but could not have, she stated in numerous emails “you will never see these children unless i say so”.
Jealous and overcome with rage she had deliberately kept the children from him, after two years of lawyers,affadavits,counselling sessions & drug tests finally my husband gets supervised visits one and a half hours a fortnight, eight months later, one day a fortnight then finally four months later, after a hearing and four and a half thousand dollars thankyou fortnight weekends that was 2yrs ago hallaluyah all done three days ago we are slapped with a report stating children no longer want contact and contained are the reasons why father drinking,father working too much father not being a father and wants to kidnap children,children terrified of father, also contained “oh but we want to go with mummy and new partner overseas to live” we like new partner,we love mummy nope dont wanna go to daddy’s.
How the hell do you respond to that? This woman is so bitter and twisted she will stop at nothing she claims to have moved on but all we see is her hanging on,she will use the kids to pass messages on “when my children are in your care they should go to bed at 8pm, 12yr old has paint on pants please rectify, 12yr old has no pyjamas please rectify (leaving out the part that 12yr old left pjs behind in a town they had relocated to without consenting us) 12yr old and 9yr old need cell phones to stay in contact with me it will be their own (children return from mothers with out it stating cell phone-lost)” children cannot come to wedding as “they dont want to”children want to come on holiday with me and new partner(an extended holiday lasting four months) never mind the fact that 12 and 9yr old were involved in the entire wedding preps, monday following our wedding last year, cyfs came knocking the mother had made allegations stating father had hit 9yr old while in our care she had pic’s to prove (none ever presented though)and children never admitted this to her, however it was cyfs job to investigate regardless and investigate they did, my children were thoroughly grilled, my home,our lives, extended family our cat and dog were excluded.
We have always provided 12 and 9yr old, our love and security we have never placed them or put them in harms way i accept them as my own, we constantly re-assure them they are wanted and needed here and yet they will always lie and choose their mother, i know why, she is all they know she is their security at the end of the day they will always be loyal to her, this woman does not deserve these children and so here we are back in the one place we have no control over, our lives and the outcome once again in the fc’s hands,what does one do?all i know is to keep fighting but i am getting tired,my husband also,he has two small children that love and need him, and i have my own as well, we cant go through this again we just don’t have the fight in us anymore if we let go, im sure they’l return to us one day, if we hang on nothing will change the accusations will only get worse, a month ago i found this here site, quite by accident, i was thinking we were the only parents in the world that had problems like this i felt so relieved after reading posts of fathers going through the same things as us, it was almost like their was hope for us after all it also made me realise, accept what is, you cannot control other people, empower yourself with knowledge and move on.
to be continued…
Staying and fighting is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
I look at my kids and wonder about the baggage I’ve brought into their lives. The constant battle and the continuance of defending yourself is draining and then that little face shows you how much they do love you, even when they know no better and are faithful to the women whose heart is stone and you know that you must keep fighting.
The glimmer of hope is that as they get older, you pray that the security and unconditional love you’ve given to them is enough for them to realise.
Comment by sonnyking — Tue 22nd April 2008 @ 1:51 am
I am sooooo sorry for you, mine was virtually the same, power trips and was violent , but without the alcohol, so your situation is worse, yes. Mine only kicked me out because i refused to buy her a large house. We are many men in the same situation, but nobody is doing anything about our great injustice. The government seems happy to pay for all these mad women to bring up future delinquents, but you did not mention child support, the next step is the state virtually makes Dads live in poverty to recuperate funds that they are paying for all these women that they have allowed to split up their families. Also the police are always on the side of the woman, unless these bitches almost kill you and are still holding the knife , the cops will never do anything. THese women can get away with almost anything and have been encouraged to scrounge off the state. Mine also used the kids and brainwashed them against me, it seems to be a common trick, but they are storing up future problems for themselves of course. I hope that you find some peace together, i am sure that you will
Comment by Martin Swash — Tue 22nd April 2008 @ 2:48 am
my husband pays a small amount of child support monthly(thankgod) as she is on a benefit,and so he should, as we know her patner has his own business,and we know she works for him as well,she has set herself up quite nicely,the police well recently we thought we’d have problems collecting the children for contact(she had sent txts stating)”kids dont want to come do not collect”there is a protection order in place, knowing this we thought we may need some assistance police were no help saying “err umm we cannot force the children to go with you” “perhaps it is best if you waited 5 houses away” oh no your wife cannot
collect children as the protection order in place covers her as well”(i do not remember my name ever being on the order)as it was we took a risk and children were waiting happily chatting away to each other,the mother likes making every aspect of contact difficult,as i mentioned ive been up against quite abit, but never in my life have i had to deal with such a horrible,conceited,manipulting bitch,my husband is not perfect he knows this,i know this he is honest about his past,she will always make him pay for what he had done however he has acknowledged and dealt with his issues,she has not,the fc entertain her,they enable her to vent,and in my opinion they enable her to keep doing what she is doing by allowing her to retain custody.
Comment by mother love — Tue 22nd April 2008 @ 11:39 am
I need to remain anonymous so just seeing if this works
Comment by JustaGoodDad — Tue 22nd April 2008 @ 4:15 pm
I wish you well. I was complaining about my problems. I guess I do not really have any when compared with you.
The hardest stumbling block I have still is that I rebel against the silliness of the situation. It does not have to be. It is not meant to be. This is state sponsored abuse! How can we stop it?
Comment by VictimByGender — Tue 22nd April 2008 @ 4:26 pm
[Children’s names removed by moderator – no identifying details please.] ….are my wifes children and she loves them so much, she has a lot of anger toward the ——— ——— that stole them all those years ago.
Comment by Hadi Akbari — Tue 22nd April 2008 @ 5:56 pm
Hi guys, my wife and i went to New Plymouth to see her 16yr old and 13yr old and these evil have her children hidden away, we had a phone call from United Nations last night which was very interesting and they said if they have so many people ringing about their problems then they can act, we are planning to hunger strike outside parliament with a few friends
Comment by Hadi Akbari — Tue 22nd April 2008 @ 5:58 pm
I am not an expert in these matters, but it seems to me there are 2 types of separated women, the ones who want their husbands to share in the lives of their kids and the psychos, the ones who use their kids in the FC to destroy the ex. I guess that the majority of Menz members may have the latter category. They were almost certainly psychos during the marriage/relationship too , of course. My African psycho wife stole cash, credit cards from me, was physically violent in front of my kids many times, why are men like us not on TV shows showing our plight ? why is nothing done, why does the government bend over backwards to help these psycho women ? They must know that real “domestic violence” only affects a small number.
I find the story of motherlove very tragic , but quite common, mine was similar really. The NZ state, albeit 20 years behind the rest of the world, wants this to happen presumably. Only human rights protests will ever change this
IT IS ALL JUST COMPLETELY UNBELIEVEABLE, UNTIL IT HAPPENS TO YOU
Comment by Martin Swash — Tue 22nd April 2008 @ 7:25 pm
Hi guys, the people who stole my wifes children have brainwashed them so much the nearly 17yr old thought her mother was dead and was so shocked to see her on her 16th birthday she nearly died herself (of shock)It is really yuck driving from Auckland to New Plymouth to see your step daughter size of a 7yr old for 5mins then to have the staff at her school kick you out and god only knows what the other children have been told
Comment by Hadi Akbari — Tue 29th April 2008 @ 4:22 pm
hadi akbari lies im not his daughter at all and im not brainwashed
Comment by emmah — Mon 7th September 2009 @ 10:35 pm
hi im looking for my birth dad John Fryer he that use to live in New Plymouth
in thw 1900’s
Comment by emmah — Sat 28th November 2009 @ 3:55 pm