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Jail for texting

Filed under: Domestic Violence,Law & Courts — Mr Right @ 1:27 am Mon 17th March 2008

I’m a 45 year old, white male, well educated and (my opinion only and reading on, I have no doubt many of you will question this claim) of above average intelligence. I run my own custom audio/visual integration business (TV’s, stereos, etc), I’m far too busy and incredibly dis-organised as a result.

My wife of 10 years and I separated in June 06 (her decision, suddenly and completely without warning), we have a son X, who’s 8 1/2.

He’s an absolute diamond!

I have been “through the mill” as it were for the past 20 months my story I’m sure, not unlike many…evicted from the jointly owned family home, with only the clothes on my back, nights spent in the car, struggling in my case with a relatively new business and because of the way our finances were structured prior, (I paid the entire mortgage and all monthly accounts) absolutely cash poor.

At the tender age of 45, I am proud to say that I have never once struck, or even made to strike another person nor, have I ever been struck…even through school. As I like to say, I won my last fight by 60 metres. Based only…and I cannot stress enough, only text and phone communications from me – none of which was even remotely threatening – I was served with a ex parte’ protection order and so began the debarcle that is the Family Court.

My wife and I were in fact the first couple into the much vaunted “Parenting Hearings Programme”.

Because of my financial position, I self litigated in the Family Court and fucked it up completely and utterly. Whilst I was up to it in terms of intelligence and my ability to converse and communicate effectively, I took no account of the emotional effect and can confirm that, despite the fancy coloured brochures, DVDs and their continued posturing to the contrary, the family court is as adversarial any other and if what I experienced is in the best interests of the child, then the collective “we” are in deep shit! The end result is I have Sons Name for 4 hours every Thursday (3 pm til 7 pm) and every second weekend from 9 am Saturday until 1 pm on Sunday. And apparently I should be fucking grateful for that!I did have one small win. I was excused from having to attend a stopping violence programme.

Now I cannot say I recommend this method to anyone else, I’m a firm believer in the “it’s all in the delivery” theory and clearly I back myself.

However, given the eviseration I received whilst self litigating, I felt I had nothing to lose and thus, in my submission as to why I should be excused from the Stopping Violence course I called the Family Court and all those in it for every conceivable adjective (including a couple that haven’t been invented yet).

I suggested that my wife’s lawyer (Alison Adams – Laworks, a thoroughly repulsive human being) must surely be sleeping with the Judge, (albeit it in a much shorter, more direct fashion), that my wife had received preferential treatment given she was “one of them” (see below), that the hearing could not have been impartial given the Judge hearing our case (Harding from memory)was the same one who’d signed her protection order, etc, etc. Believe me I gave it to them with both barrels, all 12 pages.

Incidentally, my wife is a lawyer with her own boutique practice. Her specific area of expertise is not in any way family related. I did discover shortly after we parted ways that she had been having an affair for a no. of years with her major client (she only acts for a handful of clents, this well known “leaky homes specialist” is the majority of her business)

The other thing I did was admit I was angry. I did this both in my submission and to the Judge hearing my application to set aside. And I must say here, credit where due, the Judge hearing my application was a female, with a warm, friendly smile whose name escapes me for the mo. And the very first thing she said to me after Good Morning was “Have you seen your son? And that was and remains, the only time where the child has indeed been put at the top of the list!

She agreed with my observation that anyone, male or female suggesting they “weren’t angry” having had this sort of shit heaped upon them, would be pushing the boundaries of the believeable to the absolute extreme but reminded me “you’ll be one of a handful of men this year Mr Right, who do not have to complete this course”

As an aside, I firmly believe my wife has received above and beyond the expected level of attention from both the police – over zealous – and the Family Court and the Police again -underzealous this time -who couldn’t have cared less when, over the Dec/Jan and into early Feb this year, she knowingly and deliberately breached court orders giving me contact and access with Sons Name and she simply went off on holiday and couldn’t have cared less.

From April through November last year I continued (mostly unwittingly) to breach the protection order the result being that, facing in all 19 charges (18x BOPO, 1x theft*) on Dec 7th I was remanded in custody on the basis I presented a “real and significant risk” of re-offending.

* The theft charge. I discovered in July 07, via the sudden arrival of two Baycorp demands relating to a garden waste removal service, ordered by wife, in my name (whilst we were still together) that went unpaid after my departure and two notifications advising that I had been listed through Veda Advantage as a credit risk owing to my unpaid ACC levies, that she was not forwarding what little mail was still going to our home address.

Following this discovery I began removing my mail (which was mostly unopened – it was simply discarded immediately) from the rubbish bin, whilst it was on the verge, outside the family home, awaiting collection! That, according to Constable Pillock of the Family Violence Squad based at Onehunga, is theft?

On the 12th of December I was refused bail again on the same basis…ironically in another court at about the same time, a young father with considerably more notoriety than I and facing 2 murder charges, was granted bail. Why?

Because he no longer posed a real and significant risk of re-offending…he couldn’t murder his kids again!

On Dec 20th I pleaded guilty to all 19 charges and was sentenced to time served and 9 months supervision, along with an evaluation for psycological counselling and to complete the infamous “Stopping Violence Programme”.

I was given a 2 min, 12 second verbal flogging by Judge de Jong who called me for everything and I was apparently responsible for Sons Name poor performance at school (he got an outstanding school report, the only blemish being his punctuality – I don’t think his mother got him to school on time once last year, despite living less than 25m from the school gates). Further, I was responsible for his bed wetting (he doesn’t), his agressiveness, etc, etc.

The following is the verbatim “Summary Comment” from his teacher in his end of 2007 report

“Sons Name is a popular and well liked member of class. He has good social relationships with his classmates and is supportive and co-operative in all activities. He is able to share his ideas when asked and does this in a polite and respectful manner. He works well in group situations, often helping and supporting others. Sons Name takes his share of resposibility for the smooth running of the classroom and completes his tasks conscientiously and efficiently. I have thoroughly enjoyed having Sons Name in my class and will follow his progress with interest”

And hand written from the principal. “Great to see you doing so well Sons Name. I especially like to see you building your confidence through learning”

Had I not fallen on my sword I would have been remanded in custody until early March. Remember this is all for sending text messages. I mean, can you see the headline screaming out from The Herald ?

“Mother (47) bashed to death with text message”

Four related directly to contact and access to my son, eleven of them whilst him and his mother were holidaying in England and France and it was the only way I could contact him following her hollow promises that “Sons Name will have his phone, call him whenever you like” and “I will make sure Sons Name calls you regularly, probably from my phone so if you see the no., it’s OK to answer it”

Each text message I sent began with (in caps) “THIS IS A MESSAGE FOR Sons Name“.

The other 3 were my own stupid fault and for those I take full responsibility.

I might add here, I am not lily white. I have done some…and in particulalr, said some unbelieveably stupid things however, whilst it is apparent that the female or “applicant” has free rein, but for the male (or respondent) step 1 mm out of line and it’s a hanging.

On Feb 4th this year I was arrested again (after self reporting to the Ponsonby police station) on 4 further BOPO charges, 3 of which were for going to watch my son at a cricket coaching clinic – at his specific request and having been also invited by my mother.

She had bought him the clinic for Xmas, she was looking after him for most of that week thus, he was in her care.

The other for taking his 2008 class list printed off the school website, to him at his home. I live in a little flat, approx 300m from the family home and thus my wife and son. (Me living so close was ironically, at her behest originally). I repeat, I did this at the specific request of the “Protected Person”. I did not enter the property and his mother wasn’t within 5 miles of me on any of the occasions outlined.

Pointing out to PC Plod that I had merely responded to a specific request of the protected person which is allowed within the terms “protection order” bought the whining response “But he’s only 8?. To wit I retorted, “Yes of course and he asked for this protection order didn’t he?”

Knowing you’re smarter than the “poor cop who’s just doing his job” is one thing. Making it painfully obvious to both him and his trusty sidekick doesn’t always bear fruit. And so for the umpteenth time I got to ride in a police car, with Plod telling me confidently that I could look forward to a lengthy stay in prison as they would be opposing bail and based on my previous, they were a shoe in.

I’ll save the blow by blow for another time (as if anyone’s interested) but I can assure you, it was more than a wry smile that crossed my face as I was bailed later that day. My wife was, as I understand it ”apoplectic” And score one for the good guys!

I appeared again in the “Family Violence Court” (how to appeal to the masses…not a lot of thought went into that name) on Tues last where, I was further remanded (on bail) to appear for a defended hearing of all four charges on June 10th.

This despite the facts clearly showing that a/ I was specifically invited by the “protected person” (my son) and b/ I was also invited on 3 occasions by my mother…who was clearly in loco parentis (that’s Charles in Charge for those who aren’t au fait with Latin) and therefore free to invite me or anyone she pleased.

Yes, even Peter Ellis from the Christchurch creche (although I don’t whether he’s that keen on cricket).

And so the already overburdened taxpayer (of which I am well and truly one) will have to stump up for the cost of, if I’m not mistaken, trial by jury.

…to be continued (alas)

A couple of mildly (under the circumstances) amusing footnotes…

1/ My mother (70) was “forced” to make a statement to the police regarding my attendance at Sons Name’s cricket coaching. Fortunately, she had the good sense to conclude her “videotaped statement” by staring at the camera and leaving no one in any doubt that she was an extremely unwilling participant. Interestingly, her statement would appear to have been “omitted” from the evidence submitted by the police.

2/ I have at this point been unable to secure “funding” (via my parole officer) from an approved agency to enable me to attend the Stopping Violence course as per my convictions. Apparently I’m very low on the list, there are obviously lot’s of people who are “angrier” than I out there. (And no, I’m not interested in anyone’s suggestions as to who I might contact to rectify this. Seriously!)

Thanks for reading.


Mr Right. the man every woman’s looking for!


  1. I don’t know what to say other than my heart goes out to you.

    Comment by wendy — Mon 17th March 2008 @ 10:59 am

  2. Thank-you Wendy…although that ain’t the half of it…I’m not sure about just how to continue, I have no doubt that for many it’ll be dismissed as a work of fiction!
    As John Lee Hooker sang, “Whiskey and Women just about done gone wrecked my life”!


    Comment by Mr Right — Mon 17th March 2008 @ 12:17 pm

  3. So Mr Right there is nothing in your story that is even slightly surprising. This is buisness as normal for the family court. There are lots of us who have had similar treatment. My kids were ripped away from me, now 14 years ago and actually are doing OK despite my worst fears, though they could have done a hell of a lot better. My response has been that it is now my lifetime calling to try an get changes to the system. It is totally corrupt and actively harms children, the only people who get any benefit are the corrupt lawyers who make a living out of it. At least with representing yourself you saved a heap of money in legal fees, and though you say you messed it up, you could have spent $20,000 or more and got the same outcome.
    There are heaps of us who want to help each other, what could I do for you?
    Viv Roberts

    Comment by Viv Roberts — Mon 17th March 2008 @ 5:00 pm

  4. Mate!
    This story sounds so familiar!!!! The women just have to say you did something and you are immediately guilty. the polise are not payed to think they are payed to take robotic actions (Only doing my job Guv). Be glad you see your son. I wish I could see mine. I have no idea where he is and the Police (Bumbling fools that they are) don’t give a toss. Now if she said I was hitting her or something like that they would be onto me in a flash…

    Angry! Freaking hell. Angry is just the start of it. I would NEVER condone hitting a woman (or anyone for that matter) however I can see why some guys do snap. They drive you insane. These woman can be very very hurtful with their cake holes.

    These women think they are hurting you but what they are really doing is really hurting their own children. They are also using the children to get to you. How could a mother who says she loves her child do so much damage to them. That says to me that they do not love them at all. From what I have seen, experienced most of their agro is to do with money pure and simple.
    I just don’t understand how they can lie so blatantly and get away with it!

    Interesting what you say about your son’s welfare only coming up once in proccedings. This seems to be a constant theme in most cases. The family court is a joke. They say the law is an ass, well this one is a 50 stone ass. There is no such thing as justice or fairness.

    Good luck Mate. I hope you and your Son can come out of all this OK.

    Good on you for standing up for your son’s right to spend meaningful quality time with you. It is a hard road but in the end it will be worth it.

    Your son can never say that you ran away and did not love him. Sure the Booze hags and slapper women who do this to people will try to turn the children away from their fathers but if you maintain a good honest relationship with your son and never talk ill of your Ex in time he will know who REALLY loves him. I have spoken to many people who have said the one thing that they really hated was when ther Mother talked so nastily about their father.

    Actions speak a hell of a lot louder than words or money orientated gifts.

    Comment by Andy — Mon 17th March 2008 @ 5:37 pm

  5. Sorry to hear of the violence done to you by the feminist state. Yes, China deserves condemnation for its human rights abuses but NZ would do well to look at its own behaviour first. What can one do? Political action. Writing here is a good start. Then for the election check out which parties have any men-friendly and/or family protective policies.

    As to your name, I recall the joke “I thought I had met Mrs Right, until I found out her first name was “Always”.

    Comment by Hans Laven — Mon 17th March 2008 @ 11:24 pm

  6. Alison Adams was very insensitive to my needs as well. I went into her office one day and called her a fat little barren dwarf. She sent me a trespass notice!!!!! I really think her actions were a bit over the top and entirely unwarranted. She is fat, she is a dwarf, she is little (as in very little intellect) and she and her husband John Adams adopted some Russian kids so they either very charitable or can’t have kids on their own.
    As you can imagine treating my own lawyer (Alison Adams) with such contempt is a fairly good indication of what the rest of the FC was like.
    My somewhat restrained opinion of AA was fueled by her collabaration with the LFC , Pip Cobcroft in proposing a contact regime with my beautiful 2yo daughter as follows; my sister was going to drive 30kms to collect my daughter from her mothers residence,she would then transport my daughter 20kms to an access center on the other side of Auckland. I would travel 20km seperatley and see my daughter for 2 hours while my sister would wait outside. After 2 hours the whole process would be reversed. Adams argued vehemently with me for 10 minutes that this was what was going to happen and to agree with it on the morning of my FC hearing. I said that my daughter was coming to my house. Guess what the judge said. It then cost Adams 2 years and over 4k of litigation to get the 4k that she claimed I owed her.
    Hey Mr Right, if you want to get proper contact with your son give me a call. Auck 479 5016. I am the only guy in NZ who has a protection order for strangling his ex wife (Judge…. Mr Wotton, why did you strangle your ex for, cause I’m a piss poor shot your hona )and still has his daughter half the time.


    Comment by Andrew Wotton — Tue 18th March 2008 @ 12:01 am

  7. A familiar story Mr Right.
    My advise to any father going through separation is place a small hole in the forehead of your Ex. Fill it with lead and you will not only get the best Legal advice available in this country but you will not have to pay for it.
    You will also not lose any assets and will in a short time have full access to your children with all the available expert assistance you need.
    Your pain will be more bearable than what is presently dished out by our family courts and IRD.

    Comment by Agrieved Father — Fri 21st March 2008 @ 12:55 pm

  8. I have been through all you have and ten times more.I am now forced to live outside New Zealand.If you see my previous posts you wil see why.I am a lawyer and I am owed about $60,000 by the IRD in uncollected Child Support payments.I am allowed no contact whatsoever with my 3 children.Their mother has lied again and again to the Family Court and the IRD with total impunity.
    I have spent several nights in custody for alleged breaches of a ridiculous protection order which was obtained through lies while I was overseas.I have never been convicted of any offence.
    I strongly suggest that if you want to move on and make everything you can of the rest of your life you learn about unconditional love.Stop any kind of bad feeling towards your ex wife.Thank her for the good times you had together.Wish her well for her future.Stop abusing people.They are not going to change and they have their own agendas.Give up on trying to have contact with your child.Move on before it does your head in.I did so just in time and an enormous amount of clarity and sense of well being replaced anger,frustration and despair.
    The NZ Family Court system and the Police will never ever treat you fairly no matter how much you rant and rave.Accept that and move on.For everyone`s sake

    Comment by whanga — Fri 21st March 2008 @ 5:40 pm

  9. hi there,
    i have stumbled upon this page,i dont really know what i was looking for my husband and i have been through the ringer in terms of the family courts and the nasty ex he has 2 children and we have been in and out of the courts for nearly 4yrs,your story just rings so true,we have his children every fortnight and half the holidays now the mother wants to take that from us,and she will most likely get it why?because she is the mother and has the childrens best interests at heart,my husband and i will just end up with the hefty bill,while she uses her legal aid appointed lawyer,anyway i just wanted to say thanks i thought i was going madd!

    Comment by lorna davis — Wed 26th March 2008 @ 4:07 pm

  10. Hi Mr Right,
    Unfortunately I wasn’t online when you first posted your comment, but I would like to comment now.
    Firstly, like you, I have never hit anyone in anger in my entire life, however, I was a victim of severe violence from my mother and father during my childhood, culminating in being thrown down a flight of stairs by my mother, which the police to this day refuse to investigate, despite having two witnesses. I am a gentle and inteligent 46 year old man, who achieved an A+ average at university, and completely changed my life in order to be the primary caregiver of my only child when his mother threatened to abort him.
    I was his primary caregiver and primary emotional bond right up to the day when his mother left me for another man, and made a false complaint to the police and went on the DPB. The problem I had was convincing the Family Court of my role in my son’s life. The Judge’s completely disbelieved anything I said, and the mother’s two lawyers, who are the lowest form of scum living on this planet, behaved unethically to an extreme level. One of them, who will be familiar to you (Lex De Jong), was a blatant liar in my case, but even worse, he became a Family Court Judge soon after a complaint was made that he was intoxicated while discussing a Family Court case in a local night club. Somehow, by De Jong behaving unethically and lying in court, his career as a Family Court Judge was gaurenteed.
    On reflection, I don’t believe for one second that my fight for reasonable contact with my son and only child was ever against the mother, but rather against the system that disbeleived anything I said and put me, a decent honest gentle father, in the same catagory as a convicted murderer. Not any time throughout my three year FC tour of duty did my son’s interests come before his mother’s, giving rise to my opinion that the Family Court should be called the Mother Court. The Judges didn’t give a shit about my son or me, and consistantly pandered to the mother’s every wish.
    If you like, you can contact me off-line to compare notes. In particular, De Jong should never have become a Judge…I still have nightmares about his demented smiles on the day that he lied to the Judge about me.

    Comment by xsryder — Mon 16th June 2008 @ 10:51 pm

  11. Yeah that de Jong is a shocker.So smug isn’t he?
    Very influential and “respected”.Takes lots of seminars for lawyers teaching them the tricks of the trade.
    So what happened in the defended hearings on June 10?
    If anyone has any trouble with these protection order things you really do have to get written prmission from the “protected” party to do anything.Merely telling the cops someone said it was OK will never wash.
    Like Mr Right and xsryder I am mid 40s and (I thought) intelligent and highly educated.
    Yet we have not been able to communicate with ex partners,police and family court lawyers or judges.Almost not at all!Not good is it.
    Hopefully someone reading this will learn from our mistakes and enjoy their mid 40s in peace and harmony with their children.
    PS I was also thrown down steps by my mother. When I was 10 years old.She was a High School Deputy Principal at the time.
    At least you had the support of your mother Mr Right.I have never had the luxury.Direct opposite in fact.
    My mother has continuously campaigned in my family for me not to see my kids and wrote to a Family Court Judge alleging (fictitious) drug and alcohol abuse etc.
    She encouraged my ex to change my childrens’ surnames and is basically a shrew.Never done anything to hurt or harm her either.Isn’t life great!!

    Comment by whanga — Tue 17th June 2008 @ 12:15 am

  12. Just Amazing! What you have to go through and the whole time that you are fending off your Ex’s false pathetic accusations you are dealing with the most horrific emotions of being seperated from you child.

    My partner started proceedings to have shared 50/50 custody of his daughter Feb 2008. The Mother of his child has put him through so much and to this day continues to fabricate more and more lies, using the system in all the usual ways these types of women do.

    I have no doubt that what we are embarking on with Lawyers and the FC that we have a huge battle to get through.

    Your stories of which you share really help others to prepare themselves for the long rediculous battle ahead.

    The types of women who put both fathers and children through this are discusting, pathetic pieces if crap deserving of nothing in my opinion.

    Loving Fathers like yourself are the only hope that your children have of enduring life at home with their pathetic, selfish Mother.

    Comment by cazz3003 — Wed 13th August 2008 @ 4:15 pm

  13. Many people above tell unbelievable stories about what has happened in familycaught.

    You can only protect and care for your family, when you know the truth about how well your doctor, your child’s teacher, or your familycaught “judge” can serve you.

    While people cannot believe these unbelievable stories, they will be unable to make the best decisions, about how to protect their family.

    Believing “judges”, without checking with their customer’s experiences, is taking a bit of a chance!

    As the air hostess says in the safety talk, put on your oxygen mask, before your children’s.

    You have to protect yourself, before you can protect your children.

    Many men complain about unfair treatment they have received from familycaught.

    Some stupid women also think the same and abuse their freedom to use perjury.

    But if you look back a few year later, you will see that they are poor, in relationships and in assets. If they inherit anything, the Legal Workers Aid Agency will take it off them, to repay the Government, the legal bills paid earlier. This can be particularly aggravating, if the legal “work” wasn’t worth doing anyway.

    The people who are best off, are those who negotiate honestly and in good faith (without any legal workers or thieves).

    This is whether they are together, or are separated. This does take some time, to allow for cooling off down to common sense. Negotiating takes time and effort too, but it is well worth it. This is the only way that children can receive the best that their parents can provide. If the parents are impoverished in some way, by excessive spending on legal workers, then obviously family life is impoverished. So spend wisely.

    These stories are unbelievable, because they are so far outside of common sense. How could any sensible “judge” do such things?

    Common sense is based on the foundations of facts – hard evidence.

    When sympathy sweeps away evidence, then there is no limit to how unfair the outcome can become.

    The judicial oath should prevent this from ever happening!

    In a secret caught, far away from accountability, then these things can happen so easily.

    So listen carefully to customers of the familycaught. By believing their experiences, then you are in a position to work out what things you can entrust to the familycaught and what things you would be unwise to entrust to them.

    When you expose your life to them, you take on these hazards. Is it worth it?

    These “judges” don’t have professional level training to be judges. They only have legal worker’s training and worst of all, they have experience working as a legal worker. Trusting them with family problems, is taking a big gamble, possibly not a sensible risk with your family’s welfare.

    Only use the familycaught services, when you are confident that they can reliably do a good quality job, at a sensible and worthwhile cost. Compare the cost effectiveness and reliability of their services, to other negotiating assistance services, some free. Make up your own mind, after you have listened to the evidence.

    Demand hard evidence, not just talk, from the “judges” and from their customers.

    I hope then, that you can care for your family and enjoy life, the way it is meant to be lived.

    Lots of love, MurrayBacon.

    Comment by MurrayBacon — Thu 14th August 2008 @ 12:25 am

  14. All this unfairness is based upon the tendancy of politicians to treat humans in their simplest subsets ie females, males etc. This suits both the Marxist and the marketeer alike. The dominant social unit is in fact the ‘couple’. if we thought this way, we would have a system that truly respected the needs of the child, and parents who genuinely cared about their children over all other considerations would be catered for by the courts. Instead, the children become casualty’s of the gender war.

    Political correctness came out of the U.S. (read Harrison Bergeron a 1953 critique of such by Philip K Dick) women, ethnics and homosexuals were its soldiers, and they were there to attack society, protected by a rubric of post colonial guilt. They first controlled media, education and law. Now an entire generation has been inculcated with PC, and its meaning has broadened and it has become less easily defined.

    You cannot criticise a woman, a homosexual or an ethnic, without being called a sexist, a racist, or a homophobe. Thus, ‘the left’ dictate social policy making (including family courts);society and the judges bow through emotional blackmail via fear of the media/job losses etc This is all product of the the same white liberalist neo-Marxist philosophy that has hijacked the entire university system in NZ.

    Sperm stealers are assisted, women who prey upon male desperation, then lock a man into a financial situation for the next 20 yrs, and relationships that they never wanted. Male testicular pressure dictates poor decision making choices, especially when intoxicated. Why should women benefit from this? Women should be entirely responsible for their own offspring, unless the inseminator is in a relationship with them. Paradoxically, this is the only way they will ever be free of the yoke of the patriarchy. Gender biased legislation holds them down through promoting dependency.

    Wayne Mapp was put in charge of fighting PC by the National party and has done little. He never even bothered seeking out right wing university writers and getting them organised, simple stuff really.

    The currently fashionable PC Labourite philosophy has to be questioned, and exposed. Women are not sacred, they can be rotten and evil too. So can blacks, homosexuals. The bond between a father and child is JUST as important as that between a mother and child. By questioning guilt based emotional decision making every day you can weaken their absurd belief system.

    Stereotypes are OK if tested, and race, gender and culture are all very different things. Best advice, Don’t vote Labour, the Greens, or any other party that buys into socialist brainwashing.


    Comment by nickk — Sun 21st September 2008 @ 6:09 pm

  15. Hell hath no fury like a women scorned – especially in NZ, the feminist state run enterprise. Wake up. Does no one ever learn. If this is how sad it is then why are you not litigating in every court (civil and others if necessary) to gain advantage against your ex. Why sit back and take it and think the family court will consider your views? Society says, man works to provide for the family and the family consists of the wife and children. That was your decision when you married and it was for life and life is what the court is giving you. Listen to what you swear on in your wedding vows. Its for life and make sure you appreciate that. You had a family and that is for life.

    Comment by Bob the Builder — Mon 27th October 2008 @ 11:43 pm

  16. It will not change until there is a war, then the governments will magically start to wave flags, there will be hundreds of soldier films on the TV, reporting of atrocities to incite us. After years of berating males for being “violent”, they will expect us to go and kill (other men). This will be all to save their own skins.
    Individuals cannot do anything agsinst the state, who control most of the nation’s economy, brainwash police and soldiers to follow orders and die for “New Zealand”. Most of the politicians and police are male, but they pursue feminist legislation and many still have strong misplaced feelings of “Chivalry”

    you can be sure that men will matter if there is another war

    Comment by Perseus — Tue 28th October 2008 @ 1:38 am

  17. Let us all hope their is no major war. What a depressing thought.

    Comment by Allan Harvey — Tue 28th October 2008 @ 8:08 am

  18. Been there done that and I am still fighting to see my daughter after 14 months. Been to court – convicted for emailing ex and texting daughter. MAY LOSE MY UNIVERSITY LECTURING JOB EVEN THOUGH FOR 58 YEARS HAVE BEEN AN ADVOCATE OF NON VIOLENCE, Boushier was a joke in my early arrival at court – he didn’t even know the law regards Family Trusts – had to rely on the lawyer for the child – who was a substitute for the real one and he knew nothing too. I have had enough of the debacle which is the family court and its associated morons who are attached to it.

    Comment by Bob Jarman — Sun 22nd November 2009 @ 11:42 pm

    (Valid for USA, UK, Australia and other jurisdictions under fully developed feminist dictatorship)

    Advice #1: Don’t go to court, try to please her 100%; she has judges, guns and jails. (Advice #2 inexistent.)

    If you go to court: no matter how much you prepare, or how good your lawyer is, all judges will brush aside your facts and arguments and you will loose your kids and savings. Their goals are: 1) reward the woman who hates a man; 2) punish all women who support you. As per thousands of thin, publicly funded feminist publications, full of heterophobic contempt for men and men-women relationships. Check feminist bookstores!
    These man-haters are interested only in issues where they can punish men. A man is just a phone call away from total ruin. “We have to take you, to prevent violence, you see, she just stabbed you with the knife.”

    All their judges are criminals. The inequality behind the law, once unthinkable, is now enforced by them. How can you test their criminality? Easily. Ask them, or mainstream feminists, a question about law or society, and you will get an answer so obviously empty to equal verbal abuse: “Get a lawyer”, “What?”, “Depends”, “Why you ask?”, “You don’t understand”…You are a Jew questioning National Socialist clerks.

    You will fight against our powerful female ruling class. And their collaborators — police, lawyers, educators, social workers, doctors, media, clerics, politicians, child protection, and all publicly funded offices. Their job is to secure the occupied territory for their masters. Only your family or kids can help, but their word will always be declared unreliable in court. And if she kills you or your kids, her feminist experts will testify that your abuse made her do it (“battered wife syndrome”).

    If you please her, she will give you more access and clemency — If you make her furious, she will punish you:

    1) His ex wife jailed him for threatening to kill her. When he got out, he took his mom to supervised visit, to witness he said nothing. He thought he was smart. But, he didn’t realize that by bringing his mom, he just made her more furious. She again called her police that he threatened to kill her. Her judge refused mom’s testimony as unreliable and — jail again.

    2) Other man recorded abuse of his kids, but her police broke his recorder (feminists write police manuals and give rewards for shafting men). AV recording is useless anyway because her judges refuse it as evidence knowing very well she will never produce it because she doesn’t need it — her words are sufficient.
    And complaints against her police? You bet they are ” investigated” by her feminists , i.e. dismissed.
    Your Probabilities

    Appeals are also heard by feminists or collaborators, making them a joke. Their judges are not even close to neutrality. They range from supreme man haters of the supreme court who give nothing, to lesser criminals of lower courts who give small crumbs to nice men. See several www analyses of judicial criminality (euphemism: “bias”) or ask around. Have you ever heard of her 1) loosing kids; 2) loosing property; 3) becoming bonded laborer for him; 4) going to jail? In all feminist dictatorships, this fate is reserved for him. Men are helpless.

    But, best lawyers can …No! Your chances are still 0%. Ok, imagine, a humoristic judge says: “You won!” Wow, $ 50 /month less! It will just anger her; she will ask next day $ 100 /mo more for extras. And she can cut your access even without going to court. You can wipe yourself with your joint custody paper – millions of men have it without even knowing where their kids are. And she will be supported by all her professional prostitutes. Your win became loss. Men can’t win, kapish? Are you going to shell $100,000 for appeal again?

    And if you make her real furious, she’ll jail you for sex with babies or raping her. If she is so stoned out that your kids wander on streets, feminist child protection agency will get custody, without even notifying you.

    We have only 2 extreme scenarios for him winning against her:

    Scenario #1: You are a powerful man who helps our feminist state abuse other men. Example: The judge estimates you ruined lives of 100 men and bastardized 100 kids. Police chief gets custody 100%. A constable – maybe, if he can prove consistent shafting of many men. How many? Depends on the personal opinion of judge.

    Scenario #2: You are an upper class celebrity and your litigation would publicize feminist crimes. Their judges will not deprive a member of the royal family of his kids. Feminists need upper class as collaborators.
    Or kick out the President and give the White House to his wife, based on her allegations of domestic violence. As they screw millions of middle and lower class men and bastardize millions of their kids.

    Tell everyone, for the sake of our children, about infernal feminist dictatorship! Start discussion on equality!

    Comment by Ivan Zverkov — Mon 23rd November 2009 @ 12:34 pm

  20. Hi Bob,

    you just sparked an interesting idea – or at least I hope it is! Surely it would be easy enough to begin a register of those fathers who cannot see their children where there are no allegations of physical or sexual violence against them. This register could act as a petition for the MoJ to call for and investigate those affidavits, where the allegations are trivial. Surely this would be the centre of our controversy and if the numbers were high the results would substantiate the claim of bias?

    “I Benjamin Morland Easton do swear, I have not used physical or sexual violence against my former wife, my son or my daughter and the allegations filed against me in affidavit form by my former wife do not allege violence, which is directly inconsistent with the primary allegation in the affidavit that I had used violence agaisnt her and the children.”


    Comment by Benjamin Easton — Mon 23rd November 2009 @ 2:48 pm

  21. Ben, you need to read the act; part of the 1995 NZ “enlightenment” experiment (DVA) which has moved around the world courtesy of Ruth Busch and her friends. There is also psychological violence and those of the Order of PO are guilty of one or more “on the balance of probability” either sexual, physical or psychological. Both you and the judge get to take your pick, one or more will do.

    Comment by [email protected] — Tue 24th November 2009 @ 2:14 pm

  22. I know the Act Allan, especially s3 ss3. I am eventually taking s16 into proceedings.

    What I suggest is that if bias needs to be substantiated, we need a plan and this is ‘idea’ creates evidence of the exploited ‘unsubstantive fact’.


    Comment by Benjamin Easton — Tue 24th November 2009 @ 3:15 pm

  23. I have tried s16 twice and it is now pretty clear that both the FC, HC and appeal Court are firm on s16.
    For those not intimately familiar with the DVA s16 is the automatic inclusion of children in PO’s.

    Comment by [email protected] — Tue 24th November 2009 @ 4:57 pm

  24. Certainly, although the jurisdiction of the Family Court and its appellant courts hold no jurisdiction over the proceedings I would engage. These courts cannot test the validity of the law in the context – of (common or statute) law and its relevant (as tested) application.

    I’ve done this as well, in my own case and engaged the arguments that of course must inevitably fail. I am describing a judicial review. In fact — while writing I may consider altering Easton v Family Court claim to immediately contest this facility, where in Richard’s case, there is a comprehensive example of Judge Twaddle abusing the purpose of s16 by neglect of its principle.


    Comment by Benjamin Easton — Tue 24th November 2009 @ 5:50 pm

  25. Hi…
    I am a woman… read so much above…. it is not true.. I am going through worse and am a woman…
    Have never abused my child… but the allegation that is by my ex’s girl friend that I threw her in the car seat been 2 years 70thousand plus dollars and a lot of abuse… it is a miracle i am alive after going through what I have
    I have a court hearing I do not knwo what is giong to happen… I have worked so hard to collect evidence to prove my innocence…
    Lawyers make so much money and I do not understand the role of child laywers… is it just to drag the case and make sure to give hell to one parent so that he or she might break and die and then one less thing and permanent solution!! they tell us how both parents are imp to a child’s life do they understand this themselves??

    Comment by Gaga — Fri 15th March 2013 @ 7:39 pm

  26. I do not understand the role of child laywers”¦ is it just to drag the case

    Yes. The people involved in the system get their money from it. They are interested in feeding their own families, not yours. In fact, they feed themselves off your family.

    Your family has been fatally infected with these parasites. You can only make things worse for yourself – and for them – by “fighting”.

    Take note of what whanga has written above (no. 8):

    Give up on trying to have contact with your child.Move on before it does your head in.I did so just in time and an enormous amount of clarity and sense of well being replaced anger,frustration and despair.
    The NZ Family Court system and the Police will never ever treat you fairly no matter how much you rant and rave.Accept that and move on.For everyone`s sake

    Comment by Ted — Fri 15th March 2013 @ 10:05 pm

  27. Lady Gaga,
    Yes the system isn’t easy and can process you and spit you out. But our children are important and we need to put ourselves in the best shape possible for them be it now or in the future.
    I disagree with Whanga and TED but I can understand how their hurt drives them to these conclusions. That is the thinking of Ben and others who have no or minimal contact with their children.
    I choose instead to work alongside the system and have enjoyed good contact with my children for the past 10 years after a very turbulent year that had left me completly at sea.

    Comment by Allan Harvey — Fri 15th March 2013 @ 10:39 pm

  28. They were never going to give that one away, s16, but what you also have to remember Allan is that no matter how good you are and how much you are there for your children you can’t undo the damage to them and no matter how many bridges you build there is no guarantee your children will walk across them. It is easy to be philosophical about how to walk that walk but I would forgive any man traded death for another chance.

    Comment by Down Under — Fri 15th March 2013 @ 11:11 pm

  29. We cannot change the past but we can mitigate damage and build better futures. It is not about philosophy but about being real people, real parents and supporting each other. That’s a walk I try to do.

    Comment by Allan Harvey — Sat 16th March 2013 @ 7:24 am

  30. we can mitigate damage

    That’s about all we can do.

    The question is: what’s the best way to do that?

    Circumstances vary, but my opinion is that, in general, rushing back into the “fight” just gives it the chance to take another feed.

    Where I wrote above “Your family has been fatally infected with these parasites” I should have written “Your family has been incurably infected with these parasites”. Although they have killed (and a good parasite doesn’t kill the host; they have rules about that) hopefully things won’t get to the fatal stage with your family. To continue the parasite analogy, scrupulous hygiene minimizes more infection and more damage. Keep away from them.

    Comment by Ted — Sat 16th March 2013 @ 10:47 am

  31. We cannot change the past but we can mitigate damage and build better futures. It is not about philosophy but about being real people, real parents and supporting each other. That’s a walk I try to do.

    There was a time when I would have agreed with you but unfortunately, this only legitimises the behaviour of Feminasties, White Knights and an administration that refuses to acknowledge or be held accountable for lawless behaviour and the reprehensible treatment of men. The reality of that leaves men instructed by parliament and unrepresented in court and the next generation subject to an acceptance of servitude.

    Comment by Down Under — Sun 17th March 2013 @ 7:51 am

  32. Gaga,
    My sympathy. I too have been on the end of unfounded allegations etc and i too spent a fortune clearing my name. It seems that the none custodial parent is held to a higher and unreasonable standard of parenting than the custodial parent. “He left the chioldren (aged 9 and 11) in the car whilst buying milk from the dairy. They have seen him najed (whilst entering the shower). He is abussive and controlling(when i don’t agree with her) The list goes on and the whole process is exhausting. When and if you get access back, parent as you see fit. I long ago gave up the concept of jumping through hoops to stop criticism coming my way and now parent as I see fit. Good luck

    Comment by shafted — Mon 18th March 2013 @ 9:27 am

  33. A marriage contract is not worth the paper it is written on. I was very tempted to where a dress to Family court to make a point.

    Comment by dave — Wed 25th February 2015 @ 11:03 am

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