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60 minutes program, “Mum’s the word” puts down young fathers

Filed under: Boys / Youth / Education,Child Support,General,Men's Health — Julie @ 5:23 pm Tue 14th April 2009

60 Minutes aired a program Monday 13th 2009 called ‘Mum’s the word” with reporter Karen McCarthy. It showed the classroom of one school in New Zealand that has young single mothers and their children attending to give the mothers a chance to stay at school and make something of their lives.

How far we have come from putting our young pregnant women out of sight and adopting out their babies. How we have come to give them a chance to grow into worthy citizens in society and how wonderful for their lives to mean more than just a mother.

But…. how sad for 60 minutes to provide New Zealand viewers with lies about the fathers.

“The fathers are not involved. The males only want sex and no responsibility”, is basically what all of New Zealand was told.

So I had to write a letter to put this right.

Dear Karen,

I commend you on reporting the wonderful work New Zealand does for young single mothers who choose to keep their children.

However, you have reported that the fathers are not involved. I think it is very sad that you did not include a father’s group in your documentary who could tell you of the father’s involvement and the hardship our young fathers face to be in the lives of their children.

Young men are not all about sex. They are equally sensitive and confused becoming a young parent and they never forget they have a child.

For starters they will be paying child support to the government or the mother for 19 years of the child’s life and they will always be under the females mood and that of her family as to whether they can spend time with their child.

In future please consider that our males are not all that we have made them out to be over the past 40 years and how hard it is for them to live with the stigma society forces on them.

I am pleased to see our society listen to the wants of our young women but I also think we need to start listening to the wants of our young men.

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  1. Reply…

    Dear Julie,
    Thank you for your e.mail. I’ve forwarded it to Karen McCarthy and Producer Charlotte Purdy. There could well be a separate programme dealing with young men who father children – it’s a whole other issue and one that couldn’t be included in last night’s story because of time constraints.

    We appreciate your taking the time to write.

    Yours sincerely,
    Christine Laery

    My reply, ….

    Dear Christine,

    Can you also forward this message on too.

    It is not a matter of being another separate program. Already the damage is done to show young males up as “all about sex”. These are very impressionable minds you are dealing with and you did not interview one male from the mainstream part of the school nor one father or his parents. It was a very biased program and led to nothing more than considering our young men as deadbeats.

    Have you read the statistics that males feel as coerced into sex as females do? Don’t you think you should give an accurate picture of New Zealand rather than add to the problem?

    If you had of given an accurate picture of New Zealand you may have found your program to be helpful to society rather than encouraging old ways that our socialised society works hard to rectify. We are no longer at a war of the genders. We are trying to solve problems together.


    Julie Whitehouse
    Auckland Single Parent’s Trust

    Comment by julie — Tue 14th April 2009 @ 8:46 pm

  2. Great letter Julie.
    Good to see a NZ woman taking on misandry.

    Comment by Skeptik — Wed 15th April 2009 @ 8:35 am

  3. Julie, you could I feel you should write to the broadcasting standards authority as it is obviously biased against men. I feel you would have case for success. Especially how they said that there wasn’t time in the programme. That is rubbish considering they found the time to say that young men are just about sex. I didn’t see it so I can’t make the complaint myself. Check the BSA website as you have to quote wich section has been breached.

    Comment by Scott B — Wed 15th April 2009 @ 4:26 pm

  4. Thanks for your reply Scott. You can see the programme by clicking the link in the pst that is highlighted. Mum’s the word” with reporter Karen McCarthy.

    Comment by julie — Wed 15th April 2009 @ 4:36 pm

  5. Thanks… don’t think I will watch it though as it will probably just raise my blood pressure even higher!

    Comment by Scott B — Wed 15th April 2009 @ 4:44 pm

  6. Totally understandable ScottB. (smile)

    Comment by julie — Wed 15th April 2009 @ 4:49 pm

  7. Julie
    You say great things (well ones which i strongly agree with anyway)

    Comment by martin swash — Wed 15th April 2009 @ 9:55 pm

  8. A great message.
    Quite a good song too …..


    Comment by Skeptik — Thu 25th June 2009 @ 12:07 am

  9. Im at a bit of a loss today. Just got interviewed by CYF after I let them know my ex wife has been allowing abuse to happen to our son that is her day to day care. They werent interested and told me I should drop it and let her do what she wants.

    They also tried to put words in my mouth and implied I was bad mouthing her and poisoning my sons mind just because i was alerting them of the care and safety conerns.

    i am representing myself in court. I did okay in the past, but its taking its toll and taking over my life, but Im here for my son.

    My ex can do waht she wants with impunity just because she has more cash she appears more respectable, but has made so many bad judgment calls around education and care and safety in the past. She has a record with CYFS but it makes no differtence.

    I was made to feel like a shit heel today just because of my love for my son. The level of agression from the social worker was unbelieveable

    Im going to hang in there and do the best for my boy I know he appreciates it

    the C4C is totally anti men as well, if you removed the slander from her memo to the judge there wouldnt be anything else in there

    but as with the CYFS workers, everything is implied and nothing said outright, because no one wants to take responsibility for it and be accountable, and in thier warped hearts and minds they know theyre operating outside of any ethics

    Time and strength and fidelity to my boy will pay off in the end, one way or the other

    In the meantime its through the grinder of the court and the system

    Comment by Dad of a beautiful boy — Thu 24th September 2009 @ 3:45 pm

  10. Sounds like you wouyld benefit from a good and experienced support person. Have you considered Union of Fathers?

    Comment by [email protected] — Thu 24th September 2009 @ 6:23 pm

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